Control

The body of Christ will only function normally when all of its parts release all control to the head and its communication network. That is how the glory will be displayed. Each individual will be “out of control” so that they can be under the full influence of the control of the Holy Spirit.

To the extent that we insist on maintaining control over ourselves we unfit ourselves for synchronization in the body and usefulness for His glory. When we keep control of our lives and destiny we become indirectly controlled via the sarx by demonic influence to a greater or lesser extent. Or we may think we surrender control to another authority. Any authority other than the real Creator will eventually end us up back under the original source and head of that entity which will trace back to Satan.

To entice people to surrender control to Christ, one must first become enamored and captivated by the beauty, attractiveness and fulfillment that is experienced in realizing and participating in our original design. To have the proper motivation, the attraction must overwhelm the objections. This will free us to operate from love rather than selfish fear which still tries to maintain some level of control. True love allows us to abandon ourselves recklessly into trust in God's absolute care for us regardless of the appearance of our circumstances.

This is the filter that transforms all the “perfection” statements from legalistic demands to urgent appeals to not procrastinate releasing control so we won't miss out on sharing His glory when He is revealed.

When I don't forgive someone I make them in my life to be a god who can control me. So when Jesus said to leave your gift at the altar and go be reconciled with someone who has something against you, He is saying I must do everything I can to remove myself as a god in their heart and soul.

Acknowledging Feelings

It looks like I will be on the road again for awhile. I plan to work on my daughter's house and a friend's house that have been on hold for about 3 years. After that my sister is still anxious for me to finish the job I started on her house the beginning of summer. All this will involve a lot of traveling. This is not necessarily good for increasing my communication abilities but I will work on it whether at home or abroad. Yesterday I experienced an intense emotional experience that revealed some very unpleasant (to put it mildly) traits within me that I was taught to repress most of my life. Since I am adopting new strategies for experiencing reality I chose to recognize the emotions and identify them though if I had acted them out -- well, I will leave it at that. Most people would advise me to simply not feel that way or try to shame me into changing. A lot of good that has done for the last 40+ years. This time I decided to report them, first to myself and then to my wife. Unfortunately it wasn't until this morning that we had time to talk about it, but I do feel much better and that some kind of healing is in the works. Choosing to acknowledge the reality of my own feelings is a first step in that process. Since I am not in charge of the process I don't know what God has in mind for the next step. But learning to be more real is crucial to becoming fully human and fully alive as God created us to be. It is new and foreign territory for me in some ways but also feels more fulfilling and hopeful. The more honest I am about what's inside creates an environment that God can work with much more effectively than trying to look good and managing my image with everyone.

Wells or Springs

Our mind is like a cistern. Our heart is like a well with capacity to be a spring.

Living from our left brain is like drawing water from a cistern. You have to keep putting water into the cistern at least as much or more than you draw out or you will rub dry. That's why we often develop such an obsession for learning facts and formulas and programs etc. Since we largely live from our mind instead of our heart we have to keep a constant supply of new things to stimulate new possibilities and live in constant fear of failure since we were not really designed to live primarily from our mind. This is our condition from the Fall.

Our hearts are more like wells. While it may be much more difficult to draw up the water it does not require pumping water into it – except maybe for priming purposes. This is why it is so effective to open another person's heart by being open yourself. It is very much like priming a well and it is extremely effective most of the time.

Beyond this, God has much greater designs for our hearts. He wants us to become not just wells, which still have the potential of running dry, but He wants to make us into springs of life that nurture and splash joy on everyone around us. The obvious difference between a well and a spring is the amount of work to receive life from them. Both are deep holes in the ground. But a spring is spontaneous and energetic in exuding life and is nearly impossible to restrain. God's plans involve a whole community of life-givers that swell together into an unstoppable river of Life that originates from Him and sweeps others along into the current as it returns to Him in joy and praise and worship.

Feel free to send in your ideas to add to these if you would like to develop them even more. I would like to add your insights to swell this little trickle of a spring (or well).

Growth

We have started reading a book by John Powell that is clarifying the process of liberation that we are experiencing. I have ordered a number of his books from Amazon.com to help us learn how to connect to each other and learn better how to live from our hearts. The book I am reading right now is called Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?

This book has already helped me understand a great deal some of the thinking patterns, the turmoil and the blocks I have been struggling with for years. It also lays out very practical steps for overcoming these blocks. A previous book which I just received but have not read yet is called Why Am I Afraid To Love? I am eager to get into it as soon as I am done with this one.

Yesterday I experienced another opportunity to act like myself under stress, which I did not handle too well once again. I had come up about 1 inch short of enough laminate flooring to finish my hallway and when I purchased another box of the same brand I discovered that it is completely different and won't interlock with what I have. Furthermore, the material that I need is no longer available. My stress reaction was not a whole lot different than it has been in the past and my anger was pressing hard to unload on someone. I was aware of what I was feeling but knowing how to “act like myself” while in the emotions was still very difficult.

My normal reaction to this problem is to do everything possible to fix it with the least expense possible. This is not wrong, but can easily play into influence from the spirit of Mammon among other spirits. As I searched various stores for possible brands of flooring that might fit what I had with no success I analyzed my feelings and responses as I prayed for guidance as to not only what to do but how to feel. I am reminded that my peace of spirit is far more important to God than resolving this particular problem. In fact, it is not at all unlikely that God allowed this problem to give me yet another opportunity to practice this lesson. Intellectually I know God has a solution of some kind for this and I will see it work out. But faith is resting in peace, acting and feeling confidence in His resolution while having no knowledge of what it looks like.

Another part of this growth is sharing not only the problem with my spouse but sharing my ongoing feelings with her as they happen without judgment. We are actually making progress in this area too. It is very different than what either of us are used to doing, but it is very necessary to move into the future that God has for us together. So we discussed it this morning and decided that if we have to replace the whole floor with new flooring then maybe we should attempt to match the flooring from the adjoining room so there will not be 3 different colors all converging in one corner. I will look into that today. But I feel much better about the whole situation than yesterday now that we are sharing the process of resolving this problem and acknowledging that it is not about my value or identity as I might be secretly feeling.

I am also picking up my daughter today coming home from Norway. This will open up a whole new chapter on this growing process that will be good to see what God has planned. At the same time another lady is coming in to stay with us for a week or two that has very serious challenges to living in reality and getting along with people. We will need a lot of grace and our open communication will be even more important to keep process what we are just beginning to learn and experience.