The Outrage of Death

Seemingly strange – but then again, not really.

That's how I felt yesterday as I mingled with other mourners in a funeral home who were there for the remembering of my son-in-law's father who died in a drowning accident last week. At first it did not seem logically explainable to me why I was feeling such strong sadness as I held my son-in-law (or now son) close to me and began to cry myself nearly as if I really had known his father well. But I did not know him. After hearing about his life and his interests during the service I began to really wish I had known him, but I didn't. So what could account for such strong emotions welling up from deep within me?

Some might say that it was stirring up memories of my own similar experiences over the past 3-4 years laying to rest both of my own parents. That could indeed explain some of this feeling, but I didn't really believe that was necessarily most of it. The intense sadness inside of me was not really connected to those events as I thought back on them now. So my mind and heart struggled to find an answer that would make more sense of what I was experiencing here.

Then, almost surprisingly, as I walked around the room and observed the various emotions being displayed and looked at the one lying in the coffin at the front of the room, a feeling of anger began to stir within me. And at this point it really started to make sense to me. My sadness that was now intensifying into occasional flashes of anger was not connected to a lost relationship with a person that I had known well but was aroused and directed toward the very enemy of death itself. This anger resonated in the distressed words of my wife who exclaimed, “This was never supposed to happen!”

Death – and the fallen angel who started this whole catastrophe – was the real villain that aroused my intense wrath and passion at the overwhelming injustice that sin has perpetrated on all of us causing all this unnecessary pain and grief that torments and racks our souls. Yes, death itself in all its forms is the real enemy here and I was feeling just a a very small taste of the “wrath” that God is feeling about this horrendous injustice as He works to bring it all to a final conclusion. He is eagerly looking forward to the glorious day when all of us together will be able to shout with joy the victory cry that will shake every corner and reverberate into every chasm of the universe, “Death, where is your sting? Grave, where is your victory?”

Later as the crowd of grieving friends gathered among the hard tombstones and braced themselves against the cold wind sweeping over the hill, I looked around at the symbols of pain and ruin sitting stark and mute over the graves of hundreds of victims of this terrible experiment gone mad. Once again the anger welled up within me as I watched helplessly during the final moments of truth as the stark realization of presence of death pierced our hearts. I watched the pain intensify on the countenances of those slowly walking away from the graveside showing the inner struggle to fight off this last assault. “It's not right!! It's unfair! It was never supposed to be this way!” I screamed inside.

But good news trumps this overwhelming evil pain and the fight is not over yet. God has not lost, though He suffers the same pain we attempt to fight off at a level exponentially greater than we could ever imagine. Yes – God is very angry and full of intense wrath! But we must learn and remember that His wrath is not directed at people, but at the injustice and terrible consequences that this stupid idea of sin has wreaked throughout all of His perfect creation. His wrath is not understood or reflected in the way we experience wrath, for in our fallen condition we cannot help but feel intense resentment and desire for revenge on those who cause us pain. But God is not subject or party to these distorted, sinful emotions and His ways are not our ways. He has a perfect solution rooted in perfect love that will bring an end to all suffering, all abuse, all injustice and all pain. It is a plan that most of us are, in reality, very unfamiliar with though many claim to understand it and teach it. It is a plan of restoration to perfect love and totally unselfish relationships in a recreated world restored to its original design.

God has no intention of taking our political designs and schemes and massaging them into a supernatural kingdom on earth like many evangelicals teach and believe today. I am appalled at many of the messages I hear emanating from Christian teachers and leaders leading millions to believe that God is working toward an earthly, politically-oriented kingdom set up in conjunction with Christians and Jews to physically fight unbelievers and subject them to coercive rule and power.

These ideas, if properly seen in the light of true reality, proper reading of the Scriptures and the real character of the true God who rules in love over the universe, would be seen to be blasphemy and treasonous against the principles of God's kingdom of love and freedom. God never uses force to accomplish His ends like humans so desire to do. And the true God of heaven is not planning to use threats, intimidation and torture to drive humans into conforming to His desires. These are the methods of the enemy and God will never stoop to employ these weapons of death to accomplish His ends of life.

It is true that He has the amazing capability to use tragic events when thrown at us by the enemy and turn things around for the ultimate good of those who trust Him and respond to His love, but that never should be confused with the belief that God originates these evil schemes.

Jesus stated the real truth about God unequivocally and plainly when He said clearly, “The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10. God operates from an exhaustless resource of life and He never needs to employ any other means to bring about our salvation and display His glory. He is faithful and perfect in all His ways. The more we learn the truth about Him the more our hearts will flash in resonance with His true selfless passion and love.

The thief struck again this last week. He stole a father, a son, a husband that we gathered to lay in the ground until Jesus comes to wake him up for the victory parade. He killed a life that was never supposed to be taken, for he has no rights to kill that which he cannot create. And he destroyed the peace and the close attachments of love and support that a family needed to survive, to mature and to be blessed in this world. Yes, the thief has struck again and his satanic leer casts a shadow over our hearts and lives. But there is Another who is stronger than the thief that will restore justice and peace and joy, One who is fully capable, ready and eager to bring life, comfort, joy and hope to hearts ripped open by the thief's cruel attack.

“Jesus, come very close to each of us who have been once again damaged and wounded by the enemy. Show us the real truth about you and dispel the lies that cause us to be afraid of you and your ways. Show us your face and wrap your arms around those who are hurting and confused in a strong, heartfelt embrace of reassurance and blessing. I praise you for your true goodness, your covenant lovingkindness that can never be defeated or diminished. You alone are truly worthy of our adoration and honor. Reveal yourself to us in fresh new ways and revive our spirits with your Spirit to face the days ahead of us. Thank-you for being faithful even when we fail. Thank-you for your perfect, passionate love even though we mistake it for tainted human-type wrath. Thank-you that your ways are not our ways and your thoughts are not like our thoughts. Lift us higher in our perceptions of your truth and your ways and mentor our hearts to burn with the same passion that flows from your heart. Thank-you for life, for family, for bonds of love that draw us to you and connect us with each other.”

Even so, come Lord Jesus!

The Pain of Passing Heart-stones

Why does the Bible talk about the importance of a “broken spirit”, a broken heart? I wonder if it has something to do with the very necessary process revealed in Ezekiel 36 of replacing our heart of stone with a heart of flesh?

As I am thinking about this the idea of gallstones comes to mind. The intense pain caused by gallstones is because they are too big to pass out of the body freely and they get stuck in the exit channels. One of the ways available to doctors now is to use ultrasound to break up these stones into smaller pieces so the body can eliminate them.

Could this be a useful analogy to what God sometimes tries to do with our hearts of stone? Part of our transformation promised in this chapter is the removal of our stony hearts and the reception of new hearts of flesh. Maybe God uses some form of “ultrasound” to break our hearts so we will be more willing to let go of them in preparation to receiving new capacity hearts. Then we can experience the aliveness of having a heart that can feel, that can move, that is soft and warm and life-sharing.

But we cannot experience a new heart if we cannot let go of our hearts of stone. God promises that He can remove this heart of stone. He wants to do it far more than we want it because the real issue, as is repeatedly emphasized in this passage, is God's reputation. This whole arrangement of salvation is not primarily for our benefit, though that is a wonderful part of it, but is to clear the reputation and name of the Almighty Who has been terribly maligned and accused by His archenemy Satan. And to the extent that we have participated in the lies, deceptions and distortions of God in this conflict we need to be realigned and repaired and restored to our original function of accurate reflectors of God's true nature.

Part of the damage we have all experienced in this battle that involves far more than just us humans, is the resultant hardening of our hearts into stone. They still may look like hearts, they may have the shape of hearts, but, like petrified wood that sometimes looks so real, there is no life in them, no joy, no vital connection with the Head through the nervous system. And because our hearts are so well hidden from view deep inside us it becomes an extremely painful process to undergo the needed transplant.

A heart of stone can be a very heavy heart. A hard heart may produce very stiff-necked people. A stony heart often produces stony faces and even causes us to cast stones at others. The discovery of a (petrified) log in our eye obscuring our effectiveness in ministering to others may be indication of a petrified heart within. The many sharp slivers of lies embedded deeply in many of our memories are always due to heart damage and also contribute to our hardened condition. Just like the body sometimes forms very hard scar tissue around damaged areas, our hearts form hardness around the pain from the lies inflicted in us during times of trauma, neglect and abuse especially in our formative years.

I can see all of these symptoms in my own life. I sometimes tremble inside while I am in the middle of encouraging or giving spiritual counsel to another person when I think how hard my own heart must still be and how much healing I need myself. At those times I find myself crying out to God to use my voice to say what He wants to say to this person, because my wisdom and insights may very well be coming out distorted and maybe even empty due to the refractory nature of a petrified heart within me.

One of the most effective tools Satan uses in our experience to keep us from letting go of our petrified stony hearts is fear of pain. I have been told that passing gallstones is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. I imagine the same is true of passing heart-stones as well. As the passion, love and new truth about God shatters our encrusted old hearts and begins to turn them into brokenness, we may draw back in terror and begin to desperately look for alternatives to this pain. Fear of pain is one of the strongest motivators in this world that controls and manipulates nearly every one of us.

But fear is also the primary method used by Satan and his agents in this world to maintain his dominance in our lives. Why do you think that nearly every single time a messenger from heaven appears to humans they have to start out by reminding us to “fear not”? Because fear itself blocks effectively hearing the voice of God and allowing Him access to our hearts. That is precisely why we see the rapid proliferation of fear in all the world around us today. Satan is using any and every means possible to lock down the whole world under his death-grip of fear and control.

Our enemies are not the only ones who employ this weapon against our souls. We call them terrorists because they want to keep us in constant, debilitating terror and fear. Sadly our own government and society have fallen to the temptation to respond in kind and try to counter with trying to our-terrorize its own people as well as its enemies. Churches have used this technique for centuries and we are fast returning to the horrors that the world lived under during the dark ages. All of this because we are buying into the lie that fear is a legitimate means of creating conformity.

But fear is the domain of Satan and his kingdom. God does not employ Satan's weapons to grow His attributes in our hearts. Fear leads to hardness of heart and hard hearts are not God's desire for any of us. He is in the business of counteracting the results of sin and replacing hardness with softness, death with life, darkness with light, fear with love, desperate loneliness and isolation with joy.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Abandonment

On the heels of a long phone discussion yesterday with a friend trying to grapple with a deep division between he and his wife, I found today's reading in My Utmost for His Highest

extremely relevant, not only for his situation but for myself as well. The whole passage is really a definition for the concept and importance of “abandonment”.

The main crux of today's reading is the theme throughout the whole book, that is, that abandonment must be for Jesus Himself and not for what we get out of it. “Beware of an abandonment which has the commercial spirit in it – 'I am going to give myself to God because I want to be delivered from sin, because I want to be made holy.' All that is the result of being right with God, but the spirit is not of the essential nature of Christianity. Abandonment is not for anything at all. We have got so commercialized that we only go to God for something from Him, and not for Himself. It is like saying, “No, Lord, I don't want Thee, I want myself; but I want myself clean and filled with the Holy Ghost; I want to be put in Thy showroom and be able to say – “This is what God has done for me.”' If we only give up something to God because we want more back, there is nothing of the Holy Spirit in our abandonment; it is miserable commercial self-interest. That we gain heaven, that we are delivered from sin, that we are made useful to God – these things never enter as considerations into real abandonment, which is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.”

As I read through the complete reading I realized that this abandonment that he is talking about is closely linked to the correct understanding and experience of a covenant relationship. It involves an unrestrained, unlimited commitment to another person without any provision for retraction or withdrawal from the relationship. And since marriage is a miniature model of the relationship that God intensely desires to have with each one of us personally, then this kind of abandonment is also needed in the marriage relation for it to become really stable and fulfilling.

I will be the first to admit I am far from experiencing this either in my own relationship with God or in my marriage. But the first step is being aware of it and cultivating a desire to live this way and then I need to orient my choices and plans in line with the spirit of abandonment. It requires dying to my selfishness on a continual basis which is a real challenge but is so necessary if I want to experience the fullness of life only found in total abandonment.

Even saying that seems to be looking more to what I can get out of the experience than focusing on the other person, doesn't it. It seems that even my attempts to express and grapple with these ideas can become almost double-talk because I am starting from a base of natural selfishness to begin with. Again, I have to simply through myself on the amazing mercy and grace of God to create this experience and desire in my life because He says He can do it and He wants to. And then I realize that I have really come back to the core issue that I started with, for in throwing myself on His mercy I am choosing to abandon myself to Him which is what I was originally designed for.

True Relgion

If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (James 1:26-27 NAS95)

It occurred to me a few moments ago that this passage is a perfect description of the contrast between external oriented, left-brain based religion that is so prevalent and heart oriented, right-brain community bonding spirituality that is the true design of God for His family.

The first verse refers to a system that cheapens the meaning of words. This can be noted because one of the symptoms of meaninglessness is a growing proliferation of words because they are continually losing their power. People who indulge in using words cheaply find that they have to use more and more words to achieve the same results as their credibility wanes. God reveals here that this causes one to deceive his own heart as they are trying to deceive and manipulate others. They continue to really believe that they are religious but because of the lose of meaning in their words they are left with a facade of religion that may sound right but has no substance – is worthless.

In contrast to this deceived condition is presented the evidences of true spirituality. I use the term spirituality in contrast to religion because in my own mind and experience there is a significant difference. Most people who view themselves as religious fit quite nicely into the description above, though most would vehemently deny it.

Spirituality on the other hand, has to do with being aware of your own spirit, being attentive to the things of the spirit, both your own, that of those around you as well as the Spirit of God. Surprisingly for some, this kind of spirituality can be found in many who do not even claim to be Christians but have a much better spirit than most Christians. I believe that many times this is due to the terrible distortions of God that they have been exposed to that has caused them to recoil appropriately in disgust from the lies that purported Christians have presented to them both in treatment and in words. I believe many of these people will be found to be among the saved when the final accounting takes place instead of the professed Christians who looked down on them in disdain.

The description in this verse of what constitutes true or undefiled religion has actually puzzled me most of my life. It seemed so “works” oriented and I could never feel completely comfortable with this text. But the thought suddenly burst into my mind this morning that this visiting referred to in this text is really describing what constitutes the activity needed to create true community which is very close to the foundation of real Christianity. As I spent time yesterday visiting my 90-year old friend we discussed the idea of community and she expressed her frustration that she felt she was not doing her part in this area. I explained that it is true that the church today is not functioning as an interactive community anywhere near the level that God desires and almost nothing like the New Testament church enjoyed. That is why almost no one is willing to facilitate including her in active participation in true community and benefit from her valuable position as a true elder with wisdom to share. In my opinion this lady is a wealth of real heart resources practically going to waste while many people who could be greatly enriched by spending a little time with her are too busy and too consumed spinning empty words to exert the little effort it would take to visit with her. James declares that real spirituality would be found in the person who takes the time to receive and give in bonds of love with this elderly widow. Now it is starting to make much more sense to me.

There are other important elements described here in true spirituality. It reminds us that widows, orphans and other similar situations naturally are accompanied by stress (dis-stress) that could be greatly reduced if believers would act like a healthy community. The other important emphasis for true spirituality pointed out here is the keeping of yourself uncontaminated by the world.

This opens up a very large area of insights which I do not have time right now to explore in writing. I'm sure my mind will be examining this off and on while I am doing other things today. But for now I will simply express that I believe this is indicating the great importance of not being sucked into the world-based style of thinking, relationships and valuing that the world uses to determine what is important. I think this is perfectly described in Romans 12:2 and I love the Phillips translation of this verse (which I don't have access to at the moment) that says, “Don't let the world squeeze you into it's mold.”

Sabbath Memoir

In my posting for January 13 I talked about the wonderful blessing I received during the worship and praise time when I attended PMC. Today I again attended the same worship and this time I sat much closer to the front. I was not disappointed. Once again I was deeply moved and richly blessed during the well-planned music portion of the service. I have not seen this level of quality in all the years I have attended this congregation. I would highly recommend visiting this church for the 11:20 service if you are within 50 miles of it. The young men who plan and prepare this part of the service are putting the kind of effort and thoughtful orchestration into it that honors God and blesses all who participate.

And speaking of orchestration, that is exactly one of the things that makes it so effective. I have been told that they actually write out scores for the songs and prepare the music for the strings and other instruments each week. I know this is what happens in some of the popular mega-churches around the world but I have not seen this done in hardly any of our own churches. It has the effect of making the worship experience so much richer and majestic and real.

Am I saying that worship is dependent on the quality of the musicians and orchestration? Not necessarily. Worship is a condition of the heart. But in corporate worship it is very easy to allow various things to interfere and become distractions to that state of the heart. I have been in far too many (most to be exact) services where it was next to impossible to enter into a passionate and unrestricted expression of love for God because of the dull and lifeless atmosphere around me. Or on the other hand I have attended a number of services where the atmosphere has been loud and even boisterous in an attempt to drum up emotion in the name of worship but still leaves me feeling empty and shallow because it was mostly show and emotion but very little skill and planning and attention to a genuine worship experience. I realize that most will believe this is due mostly to my bias and preferences. Maybe so, but I have enjoyed deep and meaningful worship experiences in both lively churches and in more traditional churches when enough attention was given to creating an atmosphere conducive to awakening the heart instead of just titillating either the head or the emotions.

After thoroughly enjoying the worship time (except for the still-in-place unspoken taboo on hand-raising) I also enjoyed another excellent sermon from Dwight Nelson in his series title Mercy Came A-runnin'. (you can hear it on www.pmc.tv) He spoke on one of my favorite parables, the story of the debtor in Matthew 18. I was eager to see if he had discovered the real punch-line at the end of the story. His insights were very good and his illustration very effective, but though he came very close he missed the most important point of the whole story. I'm not surprised however. I only heard it myself just a few years ago and it is mostly unheard of by almost all teachers and preachers everywhere.

I was sitting next to his wife on the pew and I contemplated asking her after the service if I could share with him later that day, but I decided that would likely be a dead-end idea. After the dismissal prayer I sat and watched what people were doing as they left and observed that Dwight was staying around the front and occasionally talking with people. I decided to go up and see if he would let me share my thoughts with him. The worst he could say was no and I really had nothing to lose. So I approached him and asked if I could share a different punch-line with him from the story than the one he had used.

He was a bit skeptical at first but agreed to let me share with him. So I had him turn to the passage and showed him the words near the end of the story that unveil the amazing surprise ending that I have been sharing with others. At first he couldn't believe that it was not really there but when I showed him how it was supported in the context and that even his own illustration story that he used at the end of his sermon reinforced the very point I was making he saw what I was saying and said he could except that. He said he would try to remember that next time he presented this teaching.

I only say this to share what happened today, not as a means of name-dropping or making myself look important. On my way home from church I decided to stop by the house of a 90-year old lady that I did some work for several years ago and who is very sharp and intelligent but gets very few visitors. I ended up sharing with her for most of the afternoon and had a wonderful time discussing various topics I have been learning about over the past few years. Her mind is very alert and she asks very good questions. She is very perceptive and can quickly read a person's character in just a few minutes after she meets them. She also remembers people far better than most people I know, especially myself. She can remember pretty much everyone I have brought to her house over the last five years and asks about them on occasion.

Due to the death in my son-in-law's family it looks like I will be doing the early morning paper route for another week yet. Continue to pray for them as they go to be with his grandparents for a few days and continues the grieving process and attends the funeral sometime this week. I pray that God may find an opportunity in this situation to draw my children closer to Him and cherish His presence more in their lives.