Incompatible Opposites

This morning as I drove to work for about 25 minutes I decided to act on the convictions that I have been experiencing lately and turn off the news on the radio. I decided that it was time to simply spend time listening to whatever the Holy Spirit wanted to tell me from the mind of Jesus.

One of the first thoughts that came to me was that when I listen to the radio during times like this that it was something like going on a date with my wife and then choosing to be occupied with listening or getting involved with other people while ignoring my wife. I think most people would suspect correctly that she would not feel too good about this and would feel that it was an insult or a sign of disloyalty to her. Most of us try not to fall into this trap when going on a date with someone we love, but how often do we try to fill our “empty times” with distractions or information or even just music when God would like to have a chance to commune with our hearts and share little love whispers in our ear if we would just give Him more chances?

Well, I accepted that thought from Him as a statement of part of His feelings that He wanted to share with me today. I accepted the conviction that far too much of the time I do ignore many chances that I could spend listening and dialogging with Him. But today, right now, I would choose to spend this time listening, even if it just meant resting in quietness without anything in particular being hashed over. I accepted the beautiful morning colors in the sunrise as His present to me personally. After all, many times lovers just need to be able to enjoy each other's presence without having to always be talking about something.

But after I got to the job site early and sat waiting for my boss to show up, I realized that indeed a significant insight had begun to coalesce in my mind without my noticing it at first. I scrounged around to find some paper to write it down on so I wouldn't forget it. You would think that I would learn to keep pads of paper nearby everywhere I go I spend so much time wanting to capture things that come to my attention.

Anyway, what I wrote down and what ignited my interest was a coalition of ideas from my past experiences and learning which is often the case. The first part of it was that I have been learning more about the heart that Jesus gave me which is where I find my true identity. When I choose to allow God to have possession of my affections He gives life to the inner person that is created in His image and that is perfectly designed to reflect the nature of Jesus.

However, as we all know there is another inner person called our flesh or our fallen nature that is always present and opposed to the true heart that is designed to reflect our Creator. This fallen nature that closely reflects the nature of Satan himself insists that our behavior and our habits and mistakes define our true identity. Or maybe for some of us our flesh demands us to believe that our good works, our education, our good looks (not too much my problem) or any number of external trappings we may accrue define our real identity. Either way, our flesh always defies the claims of God to access control of our heart, our affections and our choices.

This battle is discussed at length by Paul in Romans 7 and 8 and is familiar to any Christian worth taking on the name. But what began to come to me more clearly this morning was the stark contrast between these two extreme natures and the complications that we experience when we attempt to co-mingle these polar opposites in the same mind. Here is what I am starting to perceive more fully.

The heart that Jesus has placed in me will ALWAYS desire to do what is right, will always want to follow God's will for me, will always be willing to submit joyfully to the principles of God's loving government. On the other hand, my flesh will ALWAYS desire to please myself, to look out for my own interests first before others, will always insist that I have the ability and wisdom to figure out how to solve my problems given enough help and time. My fallen nature is incorrigible in that it will never repent or surrender to the authority of God fully. Oh, it will do all sorts of pragmatic things to look religious and pious when it seems to be in my best interest, but behind it all, subconsciously it will always have a hidden agenda of selfishness and self-survival. There is no chance of converting my sinful heart, the only option if I want to be a real Christian who is radical enough to be saved at last is to kill my sinful desires, my sinful impulses and cravings and to surrender radically to the work of God in my soul.

Given that these two natures are alive and fighting fiercely inside of me nearly all the time, what is going to be the outcome of this constant warring inside of my head? Which one of these natures is going to come out on top in the end and determine my eternal destiny? Just because I call myself a Christian and claim to follow God and keep all sorts of beliefs and rules and traditions does not mean that my heart is really finding the relationship with God that is urgently necessary for me to be safe to enjoy heaven. Most of what is called Christianity today is not reflective of the life that God had in mind when Jesus introduced the human race to His Father 2000 years ago.

What I am beginning to see more clearly is that because of the radical, polarized nature of these two hearts or natures inside of me, that if I try to access both of them in my daily life that the inevitable conflict is very damaging to my spiritual nature at best and may cause my eternal loss at worst. Because both of these natures are unchangeable in their goals and motives and are incompatible with each other, when I try to accomplish what subconsciously feels like “balance” by indulging occasionally in compromise here and there to satisfy my flesh in any way, then my true nature given to me by Jesus suffers far more severely than I can even realize at the time. As Oswald Chambers so aptly put it, We have to recognize that sin is a fact, not a defect; sin is red-handed mutiny against God. Either God or sin must die in my life.

What really happens when I try to juggle these two warring opposites in the same mind and heart is that I demonstrate what James describes as mental and emotional instability. James labels this a double-minded man who should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Double-mindedness is the result then, of attempting to co-mingle two polar opposites that are incompatible.

I also began to sense a new heightened awareness of the definite attractiveness of the real meaning of purity. Again, purity is not just about sexual parts of our life but is about the subject that is being talked about right here. Purity is the same thing as being totally, unreservedly committed to one side or the other in this warfare. Purity is really the same thing as allegiance or loyalty. Purity is far more than abstinence as we have often assumed. Purity is radical dedication, devotion and passion for the cause and the leader whom we worship, whether that be ourselves, our earthly heroes on television or the God who has demonstrated His own passion to have us in a restored and eternal relationship with His heart of infinite love. In short, purity is the elimination of all competition in the heart.

When I fail to maintain or seek real purity in my heart, the result is lukewarmness, shame, fear, guilt and instability. And conversely, the only real cure for all of these ailments is not to work harder at becoming good but in making choices about the content of what fills my mind and imagination each day. When I put mixed mental food into my mind I am going to get much worse than just mixed results. But when I am willing to go far beyond my comfort zone and go to what others will consider extremes in my pursuit of God, then I will be able to experience the passion of God in loving service to others flowing through my life in currents so powerful and energizing that I will be literally beside myself with joy.

Fear of Injustice

It is starting to become more clear why I feel the increasing impressions about gentleness as well as purity and holiness. It correlates to the growing convictions about withdrawing myself from listening to the news more and more. I have often resisted this conviction because it is so easy to rationalize or compromise and the Spirit seldom argues with me about it but just lets me have my way. My justification is usually accomplished by measuring the after-affects and how much contact with God has or has not been lost as a result of exposure to the world's media.

But I am beginning to realize that intimacy must come at a cost – a high cost if I want to go all the way. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Matthew 5:8) This purity is not restricted to sexually-related things. This has to do with everything that detracts from the true knowledge of the Father's heart. The truth in Isaiah keeps coming to my mind as a warning if I am to be serious about coming into the dangerous presence of God. "Who among us can live with the consuming fire? Who among us can live with continual burning?" He who walks righteously and speaks with sincerity, he who rejects unjust gain and shakes his hands so that they hold no bribe; he who stops his ears from hearing about bloodshed and shuts his eyes from looking upon evil. (Isaiah 33:14-15)

To come very close to God's heart I must enter into a level of trust and exclusiveness that others may not see necessary or even right. But this trust is a two-way relationship where God needs to be able to trust me through the work that I allow Him to accomplish in my heart. I have been asking God to draw me closer to Him but resisting that drawing at the same time. I figured that was what was going on but now I am starting to see it more clearly. Unfortunately I am too much like Thomas, wanting to be able to see and understand for myself before I am willing to more fully believe.

Well, last night I saw for myself more forcefully. I was listening to the news again and just after I got home while sitting in the driveway listening to the end of it they relayed the story of an innocent man executed by a policeman in front of a large crowd for no reason whatsoever except apparently from emotions of the moment. The event was captured on several videos and was soon posted on you-tube which is now raising quite a stir as would be expected. But what was not expected was the awakening that this caused for me personally.

The emotions aroused in me were all too familiar. But I sensed the strong impression that I needed to listen more carefully and obediently to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit about exposing myself to these kind of strong stimulants. I was reminded of one of my own greatest weaknesses and fears that is starting to surface once again.

Just a couple days ago I revisited with someone the intern scene of one of the deepest roots of my own bitterness which has haunted me for many years and has caused me a great deal of trouble, particularly with policemen. It is a memory that might seem to have nothing to do with injustice and police abuse against me personally, but the perceived effect on my heart was one of the most traumatic moments in memory for me. I have sensed that this memory may contain many of the foundational lies that has allowed Satan to have a stronghold inside of me for all these years. I have been praying for God to deliver me from this stronghold of rebellion, fear and bitterness for a long time and I sense that I am getting closer to that freedom.

But Satan is also aware that I may be getting close to escaping from his diabolical control and he will resist that escape attempt in every way possible. What I am now starting to see is that one of his easiest methods to keep me inflamed with bitterness and locked into his prison is to keep presenting stories of police abuse to me to reignite my anger and frustration, particularly in ways where there is nothing I can do about it but complain. This also accomplishes the goal of training me to remain unresponsive in the face of real injustice should I happen to encounter it first hand. I fear that in my current condition I would be found among those who are too afraid to stand up against injustice and risk my reputation or even my life to come to the aid of someone being threatened or abused.

This too would become another opportunity for Satan to flaunt my misrepresentation of God in His face and attack His reputation. My failures to respond like Jesus while talking much about the growing revelations of the truth about God would be an act of hypocrisy and disloyalty that would bring shame on the name of Christ and on my own soul as well. Then Satan would attack me with that most familiar emotion of depression and despair as I wallow in the shame of my own failure and he might even reinforce it with fear and anger by direct exposure to the very kinds of abuse that I have feared the most all of my life.

This is a very frightening scenario for me right now and would absolutely terrify me if it were not for the fact of God's extreme faithfulness and goodness and lovingkindness. My only hope is to keep focusing on the truth about God that He has been increasingly revealing to me and to more intentionally and consistently withdraw from the sources of fear and depression that Satan uses to enforce the lies buried deep in my heart. I need to follow the example of Enoch who deliberately withdrew from public exposure for periods of time to be purified in the clean presence of God's intimacy before allowing himself to be exposed to the wickedness of the world around him.

If I really want to live in an intimate relationship with my God, I have to be willing to let Him have His ways in how my mind is exposed and shaped and the stories and emotions that are allowed to affect it. I now am seeing more clearly that I am receiving the opportunity to experience Elijah training, learning how to listen to the right source to detect the voice of the Spirit. Elijah was given notice that the true Spirit from God was not discerned in the more obvious ways, the spectacular demonstrations of power. The Spirit could only be recognized when the soul was quiet before God and all the distractions were gone. That was an extremely important lesson for Elijah and one that was sorely needed after he had lost touch with that quiet Spirit-voice only just recently on Mount Carmel. (see 1 Kings 19)

The prophecies of the Bible say that Elijah is going to return again; that is, the spirit of Elijah is going to be clearly manifested in God's true followers in the last days during the closing events of earth's history. We are very clearly in that time, but I sense that very few understand what it really means to have the spirit and power of Elijah. Learning to live life in constant awareness and obedience to the still, small Voice is a most crucial part of being able to live in the spirit of Elijah. But that is what I suspect God is trying to teach me right now.

I still am praying for deliverance from this massive root of bitterness that still remains deeply embedded in my mind and heart. I have no idea how God is going to uproot it, but I do know that He is faithful and He will do it. I want to fully cooperate with the preparation for that painful operation so that I can get through it as quickly as possible. I am going to need much prayer, much encouragement, much accountability and much joy-strength to face this trauma. And that joy can sometimes come from others who are willing to enter into the experience alongside of me and experience the emotions with me while emotionally guiding me to the way through this trauma when it seems like only hopelessness to me.

I can say all this right now from the seeming safety of an armchair and the quiet peace of an early morning time alone with God. But when all hell breaks loose and my heart is stirred up and my emotions overwhelm me and the lies are activated that cause my perceptions of reality to be terribly skewed – well, that is what I don't know about at this point. The only hope I have is to continue to trust the One who is drawing me, who is in charge of my repair, my surgery, my purification. And I can listen more carefully and obey more instantly the still small Voice that is still broadcasting instructions yet today for anyone ready and willing to listen.

God, I am not even sure what to pray right now. Keep me fixed on You today. Teach me the lessons of obedience in the little things that I have been ignoring. Keep me away from dogmatism and fanaticism, but also keep me away from the blindness of rationalization and compromise that has kept me in Satan's prison for so many years.

I give you full permission to proceed with Your surgery on my heart and mind. I don't understand what that even means or will involve, but I do know very clearly that I need radical surgery and that it will be extremely painful. Yesterday when I sensed this coming I asked if you use anesthetic when you do heart surgery. But I sensed You responding that if I didn't feel the pain while becoming free of the lies that it would leave me vulnerable to being reinfected with that cancer again. The pain experienced during the extraction of deep roots of sin is the very process needed to inoculate me against reinfection.

So I pray for deliverance from my fear of pain. That has been a handle that Satan has had access to in my heart for most of my life. By manipulating me through that fear he has been able to steer me and intimidate me much of my life. But Your Word says that this is one of the things You came to give me.

Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. (Hebrews 2:14-15)

Father, that is the freedom that I claim from You right now. I want to live in that experience of total freedom from fear that has kept me and everyone around me in slavery all of our lives. I trust You to accomplish this in my life however and whenever You choose. I am Yours – save me.

Exposing Deception

An important aspect of truth and of how God relates to us keeps impressing itself on my mind and heart. It sounds strange and even foreign in many respects to the way most people view life, but then the kingdom of heaven and the principles by which the whole universe operates outside of our little bubble of intense deception on this planet is nearly always upside down from our point of view. But in reality it is our typical thinking that is always what is upside down and backwards and the closer I come into harmony and awareness with those principles by which the rest of the universe lives, the more odd and out of place I am going to appear to nearly everyone around me.

What keeps coming back to my attention is the growing realization that the way God has chosen to deal with opposition, accusation and argument is to maintain consistently His character of tenderness, goodness, gentleness and love in the face of lies, fierceness and even violence. To my natural mind this simply makes almost no sense. My brain is wired to want to use force when necessary to overcome evil. I want to expose people's charades and deceptions and get the truth out in the open quickly. But the more I learn about how God operates the more these methods are exposed as coming from the wrong side of the fence.

I, like nearly everyone else I know, have always considered tenderness and gentleness as a sign of some sort of weakness in the personality. Of course, these things were handy to have around and especially were desirable in the female side of the world. But men are “supposed” to lean more in the direction of “strength” and boldness which implied that they had little use for these characteristics that seemed so ineffective against the real problems that we face in this world.

But I keep being reminded by the Spirit that this is all part of Satan's deception to prevent me from accessing what is truly powerful and effective in my battle against sin. Believing that force must be met with force is an illusion and a temptation that is so subtle and deceptive that it is an easy pushover for nearly every professed Christian. But contrary to our assumptions about God from centuries of misinformation by religious and non-religious tradition alike, God does not overcome violence and sin with violence and force. In fact, He never, ever resorts to force or coercion or compulsion to acquire His goals. He never violates His character of love, goodness, tenderness and mercy.

But at the same time I am also becoming much more aware that tenderness and gentleness are far from signs of weakness. In fact, it takes far more strength than I have ever had to maintain such a spirit in the face of intimidation, violence and pain. It takes superhuman stamina and deeply ingrained stability and maturity to face the ugliness of sin, the threat of personal harm, pain and violence or to be exposed to the terrible acts of exploitation committed all around us in the world and still maintain an inward peace and a mature attitude. It is so much easier to reflect the spirit that is being demonstrated in acts of violence and anger. It is such a powerful temptation to believe that the only means of fully overcoming the evil around us is to tap into the use of force and compulsion whenever the situation calls for it.

But this is one of the most diabolical lies that Satan has infected our minds with and undermines our effectiveness as representatives of Christ. And although my own heart still is wired to respond in these ways when under the pressure of strong emotions, my mind is learning that this is not the ways of God and that sooner or later following these kinds of beliefs will always end up dishonoring Him.

Yesterday I was reading a statement by a religious teacher of the last century and came across some very stunning revelations. In describing how Lucifer progressively developed his strategies of deception while still living in heaven, I read that “he manifested an overbearing desire for justice, but it was a counterfeit of justice, which was entirely contrary to God's love and compassion and mercy.”

This article went on to reveal that Lucifer slowly infected the minds of very many holy angels of God by subtle insinuations about God that caused them to view everything God did with suspicion even though nothing could be proven or was even obviously wrong. And one of the first casualties of this spirit of doubt and suspicion was that their love and confidence in God was marred. Almost immediately their sweet communion between themselves and God was broken.

That is one of the first warning signs of a wrong attitude that will dissolve the love and closeness that is necessary for God's people to be successful. But sweet communion is not something that can be imposed or forced on anyone. It is simply a symptom of hearts that are open and free of suspicion and fear of those whom they trust. When I view God with any amount of fear and apprehension or when I believe that God is willing to resort to force and coercion to get His ways when all else fails, then the result will be that my ability to rest fully in His love will be marred and no matter how much I try to convince myself of His goodness I will always have lurking in the back of my mind suspicions that will prevent me from enjoying the full, deep and sweet communion so necessary for preparing me to live in His presence.

What really got my attention was a description in this article about how God chose to deal with the deceptive nature of Satan's operations. Lucifer, who was quickly becoming Satan – the accuser – was so extremely subtle and two-faced in the ways in which he created insinuations and doubts about God, that he was extremely effective in convincing a very large percentage of the angels to believe that his claims were legitimate and accurate and his complaints about God were right. This method of quiet deception that made Lucifer appear to be the injured party was so convincing and compelling that God chose not to expose Him directly or to even resort to eliminating his rebellion by force of any type. He could have done that very easily as far as power is concerned, but power is not the primary interest of God. The number one and unwavering characteristic of God is that He is love and nothing can disturb or alter that in the slightest.

As I read more I came across this most revealing statement. “Many place such confidence in their own ideas that they present their theories as if they could make no mistake. Once their words are spoken, they never go back, never repent, never feel that they need forgiveness. They feel that they are infallible. Thus it has been in past history; thus it will be again. False religious confidence becomes supposed infallibility. How can these deluded ones think that they are the only ones led and taught of God? When this spirit is manifested, what can be done? You cannot convince them, because they say, "God has led me." They will not acknowledge that they have acted on wrong principles. They maintain that they have moved rightly. The only course that can be pursued is to leave them to develop their principles. They may never see their error, but others may be convinced and saved. To attempt to unmask them would be to call sympathy to their side.”

What disturbs me is that all too much I see my own desires to act in this way at times, to expose others when they are deceiving people around them especially when it is causing me problems personally. I want to call their bluff, to uncover their lies, to make them look bad in the eyes of others who are being sucked into their arguments and insinuations. But this is not the way God deals with deception and the sooner I adopt His methods and perceptions the more effective my own witness will become.

“Satan stirs up the minds of those who are selfish, who are not consecrated to God's service, who have not an eye single to his glory. He fills their hearts with the spirit of criticizing and accusing. If they think that they are not especially favored, they will talk of the mistakes and errors of the one against whom they are working. This step taken, Satan, whose special business it is to create alienation and strife, will place the matter before these persons in a most deceiving way, and they will bring against those in positions of trust the most unjust charges, in order to discourage and destroy God's servants.”

It has become more and more obvious over the past few years that I have inherited a long legacy of a spirit of accusing and criticizing. It is second nature to me and I catch myself many times stopping thoughts of criticism before they escape into the open. But I become almost angry that they are still so readily available inside of me, that there seems to be an unlimited supply of these fault-finding comments just waiting for opportunities to burst out whenever I feel threatened. But what I am learning is that this is all a reflection of Satan's character and totally opposite to how God deals with us. I clearly need a much deeper conversion, a total transformation, a radical heart transplant to prepare me to reflect the character of God when under pressure.

As I read further in this article I was nearly overwhelmed with the things that I need to learn and absorb into my own experience and character. Let me just share a few more paragraphs.

“Satan's representations against the government of God, and his defense of those who sided with him, were a constant accusation against God. His murmurings and complaints were groundless; and yet God allowed him to work out his theory. God could have destroyed Satan and all his sympathizers as easily as one can pick up a pebble and cast it to the earth. But by so doing he would have given a precedent for the exercise of force. All the compelling power is found only under Satan's government. The Lord's principles are not of this order. He would not work on this line. He would not give the slightest encouragement for any human being to set himself up as God over another human being, feeling at liberty to cause him physical or mental suffering. This principle is wholly of Satan's creation.

“The principles of the character of God were the foundation of the education constantly kept before the heavenly angels. These principles were goodness, mercy, and love. Self-evidencing light was to be recognized and freely accepted by all who occupied positions of trust and power. They must accept God's principles, and, through the presentation of truth and righteousness, convince all who were in his service. This was the only power to be used. Force must never come in. All who thought that their position gave them power to command their fellow beings, and control conscience, must be deprived of their position; for this is not God's plan.

“These principles are to be the foundation of education in God's church today. The rules given by him are to be observed and respected. God has enjoined this. His government is moral. Nothing is to be done by compulsion. Truth is to be the prevailing power. All service is to be done willingly, and for the love of God. All who are honored with positions of influence are to represent God; for when officiating, they are in the place of God. In everything their actions must correspond to the importance of their position. The higher the position the more distinctly will self-sacrifice be revealed if they are fit for the office. Every heart that is controlled by these principles will be loyal. But when those who profess to be in God's service resort to accusation, they are adopting Satan's principles to cast out Satan; and this never will work.” ( RH, 9-7, 1897)

I want God to transform me so thoroughly that I can reflect His spirit and demonstrate how He treats even His greatest accuser and enemy. I want to be filled with the patience necessary to wait for opposition to expose itself while maintaining a spirit of truth and love. I want to be filled with the spirit of self-sacrifice that reflects the very heart of both the Father and the Son. I want a full heart transplant, a new spirit, and a whole new disposition.

Father, accomplish Your desires for me and in me. Make me a channel of Your grace and mercy, an instrument of Your peace. I cannot get there from here by my own determination and force of will. I choose to cooperate with Your ways and trust You to do the healing work necessary in my heart so that my reactions and spirit under pressure will more accurately reflect what You are really like and how You treat those who misunderstand and misrepresent You.

Death by Sympathy

When I indulge in mourning and complaining I am in reality trying to draw sympathy from others for myself at the expense of someone else. This involves accusations that contain a force that is both infectious and poisonous yet is very deceptive in nature. Worst of all, when I engage in this kind of activity I am following in the footsteps of Satan himself, for that is how sin originated in his heart in the perfect atmosphere of heaven. But just because I don't live in a perfect atmosphere does not lessen my guilt or danger in the least, for God and His character has not changed in the slightest. In reality, when I complain I am ultimately complaining against Him and am doubting His goodness and plans for me.

The next step when confronted about my complaining attitude will be to blame others and to imply that I would be a much better person if I were not so controlled by the decisions of others and their effect over my life. Thus I am attempting to avoid or shift personal responsibility, again following the pattern of Satan's original sin.

The outgrowth of this pattern in Satan's life resulted in a “theory of justice” that we have inherited through our sinful environment and have generally assumed as being true. This false idea of justice tends to be exclusive of mercy. In other words, the two become antagonistic toward each other, you can either be one or the other but not both at the same time. Thus, to be just it will appear that mercy is impossible or is a compromise, and to be merciful will appear to violate or suspend true justice.

This is the concept of justice inherent in what is commonly called self-justification. A person who justifies themselves claims to be as right or more righteous than even God. This was the trap that Job fell into. They feel that their decisions are just, pure and without fault in comparison to others. They are unwilling to admit that their advice or opinions might be wrong; are unwilling to challenge their own assumptions. This progresses into a spirit of merciless justice, a counterfeit of real justice that is abhorrent to God and blasphemes His reputation.

But this version of justice that is so commonly seen around us is not really a safe kind of justice; it is not even real justice at all. Even though it may appear right in the eyes of those who sympathize with us, the real problem lies in not seeing things as God sees them – what is going on deeper at the heart level. It is impossible for us to know reality or to perceive motive as God knows it without living in sympathy with God and relying on His wisdom and revelations. When we indulge in this counterfeit form of thinking and living we misrepresent God to others and come into sympathy with His archenemy who's example we are following perfectly. We have set up our own standard of judgment on others and set ourselves up as judge in His place. But worst of all we expose ourselves to the danger of damnation itself – the experience commonly referred to as God's wrath. And this – all because we started out on the road of self-pity and self-indulgence through mourning and complaining.

This extremely deceptive spirit is highly contagious and will infect many around us with that same spirit. It is inflamed by reinforcement from the same spirit that motivates demons and locks us into a mindset that is worse than slavery because we can be totally unaware of our condition. This condition is extremely difficult to expose because of the defensiveness of self-justification and blame that permeates it. But at its core is the spirit of disloyalty and selfishness.

There is only one hope for anyone exposed to be in this condition; that is total submission to the convicting Spirit of Jesus and placing themselves completely on God's side without reservation. The other option is to engage in lying and denial about their true condition which will isolate their heart against further painful conviction and will eventually harden themselves against all hope of recovery. Lying about the true nature of our condition will feel like the right thing to do to sustain us, but it is the path laid out by our flesh which always feels logical and right to us. But that path invariably leads to death in the end. We desperately need the conviction and salvation of God to deliver us from this most intense power of self-deception and the allurement of pride and self-protection.

Ultimately I am going to die one way or another. The choice for me is whether I will choose to die to my flesh now which is so extremely painful, or will I maintain what feels safe now and be exposed to the glory of the truth of God that will so expose me later that it will prove to be my eternal destruction? If I choose to allow the fire of God's presence and His Spirit of truth to expose me now, if I choose to agree with the convicting urgings of His Spirit inside of me (confession) to lead me to repentance and allow Him full access to my heart, then I can experience the early death to self through my own choice that will result in new life from Jesus being able to spring up inside of me that can never die. But if I resist and refuse to admit the presence of Jesus into my heart and resist the real truth about myself to expose the secrets of my heart, then I will deepen my resistance and blindness and will store up wrath within myself for the day that wrath will destroy me.

One of the most deceptive aspects of this kind of thinking and feeling is that truth and lies can all be mixed up together making me look just the way I want to appear to others. It is all about image management and control to avoid humiliation and self-defeat or exposure. It is so much less painful to tap into whatever works to justify myself at the moment than to maintain a straight line of absolute truth no matter the cost. But this is the path of crookedness, it is the course of maintaining appearances more than maintaining openness of my heart and true honesty. This alternative course claims that true facts are the real definition of honesty instead of true confession of what is in the heart, my deeper motives that remain impossible for others to see clearly.

But in the long run it will be impossible to avoid the reality of truth. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8)

Marley and Me

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a movie fan. In fact, I am moving in quite the opposite direction the more I realize how much the whole entertainment industry is brainwashing the world and synchronizing it together in preparation for the final showdown against God. But I am also aware that there are some unusual exceptions to the pervasive onslaught of perversion promoted by this industry and when I see them I don't mind sharing those with others.

Not long ago we saw the recent release called Fireproof that was produced by a Christian filmmaker and was quite well done as a movie, although at times a little idealistic as many Christian films tend to be. Tonight we watched another movie but this one not even produced by Christians as far as I know. But I was nearly stunned by the quality of the production combined with most amazing messages that run exactly opposite to nearly every other production of the movie industry.

The movie is called Marley and Me and revolves around a young family and the great impact their dog had on their lives. It is a most wonderful movie in my opinion and one I would highly recommend. The most surprising part was the obvious contrast between the main story line of the marriage and family who decided to stick it out together through all kinds of difficulties, and a friend who kept showing up all through the movie who lived the exact opposite kind of life, constantly moving from one exploitive relationship to another.

I am by no means a movie reviewer and I hardly ever even watch movies. I detest the effect that most movies have on my ability to hear God's voice to me personally and so I am always very cautious to the extreme about what I choose to watch. But the heart-warming and positive messages and emotions that this movie stirred up in me did not leave me feeling compromised like many of the ones I have seen in the past. So that is my story for the night.