Slandering God

The message in My Utmost this morning was again timed perfectly to address the issues of my heart right now. I have been under pressure to worry, to forget who I am inside, to give in to fear and panic as the date for the Bat-Barakah rushes in and almost nothing is getting done or even planned yet. Those around me are starting to doubt my sincerity about this and, as I suspected from the start a couple weeks ago, the devil is arranging all sorts of external, “important” distractions to keep me occupied. I delivered the THIRD transmission to the shop to get my daughter's car fixed while my other vehicles have serious problems of their own, my multiple jobs are creating pressure to stay busy paying attention to them, other very consuming interests are asserting themselves to my mind and the cat punctured my air mattress the other day so that I lost a lot of sleep slowly sinking to the floor all night until I had to get up at 4 AM to replace it with another. This is only to provide a glimpse of where I am inside right now for context. Yes, there is a lot of pressure to worry and stress about all these competing priorities, but this is nothing new and is experienced by everyone. It is my choices and reactions during all of this that determines the direction and outcome and whether I mature more or regress into the dark tombs of fear and depression. I believe this may be the fight referred to by Paul and the “fight of faith”. I would like to remind myself of some key phrases that God presented to me this morning as reinforcement for His plans to protect and guide my heart today. They are all from today's selection in My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers that I quote from so often. “It is possible for us to misjudge our capacity.... We must not measure our spiritual capacity by education or by intellect; our capacity in spiritual things is measured by the promises of God. If we get less than God wants us to have, before long we will slander Him....” First of all, this reminded me of the “joy capacity” that Dr. Wilder teaches about. Joy capacity is a very real function of our brain and is increased physically by experiences of joy, of people being glad to be together. It is also the very same part of the brain that handles stress and trauma. It is like a flexible bucket in our brain designed for multiple functions. If it is not big enough for the trauma we experience, then our mind will resort to all sorts of other tricks to cope with the experience and hide it away until our “joy bucket” grows to enough capacity to be used to process it effectively. What I find intriguing here is tying our capacity to the immense resources of the promises of God. Failing to establish this connection between our inner life and the external resource of God's powerful promises will always result in anger and slander toward God, holding Him responsible and blaming Him for all our problems. We will end up saying, “'You expect more than You give me power to do; You demand too much of me, I cannot stand true to You where I am placed.' When it is a question of God's Almighty Spirit, never say 'I can't.' Never let the limitation of natural ability come in. If we have received the Holy Spirit, God expects the work of the Holy Spirit to be manifested in us.” That is very strong medicine, but I need it right now. I believe that I am being led by the Spirit even though I am very wobbly at many times. God has promised to do His “thing” in me and I hold Him to His promise. I also firmly believe He has arranged and prompted us to plan and go through with this important event in the lives of our daughter's and I want to stay in cooperation with His leading. Most importantly I want to keep my own spirit in line with His Spirit during the process. The next section touches on something I have been thinking about off and on for several days. I have made the observation to a few friends that it seems to me like anger is always directly related to a perception of unfairness, whether actual or not. Unfairness is linked directly to justice and if followed through fully will always end up back at anger toward God for His perceived injustice toward us. While many people do not express it that way, if it were revealed I believe that is what would be found inside their heart. This next paragraph reinforced that idea and really flushed it out more clearly. “The servant (Matt. 25 parable) justified himself in everything he did and condemned his lord on every point – 'Your demand is out of all proportion to what you give.' Have we been slandering God by daring to worry when He has said; 'Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you?' Worrying means exactly what this servant implied – 'I haven't had a decent chance,' and the one who is lazy spiritually is captious with God. Lazy people always strike out on an independent line.” This is a very important principle for me to remember. Worry equals slander! So the reality of it is that every time I am tempted to worry I am really being tempted to slander God, His attitude toward me and His ability to take care of me. I certainly do not want to find myself in a position of slandering God, but I also have to admit that I really am in that position far too often. Making it clear in this way helps me to see the real issues at stake and reminds me of what is really going on. It removes one more layer of deception that the enemy has had over me most of my life. One more point I would like to share that I have also been discussing with my friends related to this. I have observed that self-justifying is never a part of God's way of living. Not only does God ask us not to justify ourselves, He also never justifies Himself. I know that sounds like heresy, but if we think about it carefully I think we will find it to be true. That is why all through the Bible God talks about us as being His witnesses. God is conducting His part in the Great War between good and evil in such a way so that ultimately He will be justified by His creatures without resorting to defending Himself. That is one of the underlying principles of existence that has been twisted and distorted by sin. Our selfish hearts naturally tend to justify ourselves at every opportunity and therefore we assume that God operates the same way. But if we consider carefully God's ways I believe we will discover that true justification always has to come from another. The real catch in this is that when we resort to self-justifying and defending ourselves, which comes oh so naturally and spontaneously, we actually are precluding God being able to justify us by His grace. That is why the only way we can stand justified before God is by confession and repentance which are the exact opposite of defensiveness and self-justification. That is the irony of the gospel; the only way one can obtain justification is to resist justifying one's self. Self-justification is resistance toward God and His offer of redemption. And as I am learning more and more, resistance in the presence of power results in heat, pain and ultimately death. “But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ His Son.”

What Must I Do to be Salvaged?

“'Sirs, what must I do to be saved?' They said, 'Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.' And they spoke the word of the Lord to him together with all who were in his house.” Acts 16:30-32. I found myself asking God this very question this morning. Then I was reminded to think of what the words mean and how that might sound using their more accurate meaning. Since “saved” and “salvation” are the same, and the root meaning is “restoration, returning to an original design and function”, then I see that “doing” something and getting restored to my original design and function are the main elements of this question. Generally speaking, when we ask what we should “do”, the question is coming from the context of our left-brain, external-oriented religious thinking, even if we are not known as being necessarily religious to other people. Religious people do not have a corner on living fake lives. It is our natural response to an exposure of the emptiness of our heart that has been nagging us all our life but we could not satisfy it or even understand it correctly until we see someone else living from their heart in joyful fulfillment. Then our own heart screams out in agony of desperation and we become more aware of how empty we really are and how deep our heart hunger really is. Consider the people who approached Jesus with basically the same question. “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?” Matt. 19:16. “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” Mark 10:17, Luke 10:25 and 18:18. As I was waking up this morning I couldn't miss the intense hunger of my heart awakened last night when I watched “Tuesdays with Morrie” at a friend's house with friends and family. It has stirred up awareness of how selfish I am, of how much the faults in others that irritate me are only reflections of how I must irritate them. The self-deception of my own hypocrisy is so effective that I find it impossible to see much of the truth about myself and of course cannot receive it from others attempting to tell me about it. But the heart is communicated to by example and demonstration, not with words and logic. Thus my heart was able to at least slightly communicate back to my brain how empty it is as I watched the actions, spirit and transparent unselfishness of Morrie in the way he related to the self-absorbed young man swallowed up by the typical distractions and busyness of hectic living, too distracted to be able to receive or give love with anyone. I saw myself portrayed painfully accurately in the example of the young man far more than in the character of Morrie. And my heart cries out, “What must I do to be saved?” I realize even more now how helpless I am to change myself. My only hope is outside, supernatural intervention by a Power that can transform me from a selfish, pride-filled, self-deceived nice guy (many would even dispute the nice guy part) to a genuine, caring, loving and expressive man with a servant heart spontaneously reaching out to touch the hearts of everyone around me. In the answer of Paul and Silas to the jailer who found himself asking this same question after having his own callous heart awakened by their startling behavior under persecution and abuse; their answer alerts me to the underlying basis for hope. It is not an intellectual answer, though it has often been degraded to that in religious teaching. It is a heart answer – belief in Jesus, the Creator and original Designer who created our hearts and is the only One who knows how to really satisfy them and restore them to their original design and function. Believing in Jesus involves trusting His motives and integrity and passion as well as His ability to change me. This kind of trust does not insist on knowing ahead of time how He will do it or having every question about His past dealings with me answered before I let Him have His way with me. Believing means that I let go of my resistance to Him and allow Him access to my emotions, my pain, my fears and my shame. Believing in God is not the same as believing facts and doctrines about God. That is a left-brain function and often blocks us from allowing our hearts access to true faith. Real faith/belief is a heart response as well as a choice to allow our heart to come out in the open and take the ultimate risk of self-abandonment. In so doing we are promised that we will find true life, true heart-satisfaction, real fulfillment and joy. But now my left brain analytical thinking is hijacking what my heart was trying to express and my heart is complaining that it is being ignored again. That is what a lot of people around me have been feeling as well. My mind wants to find a nice, tidy answer to wind up this post so it will conform to literary expectations and social norms. But my heart wants to scream, “What must I do to be saved, to be alive, to thrive and connect and bond with other hearts around me like I was designed for?”

A Tragic Exchange - round 1

Rom. 1:21-25 The tragic exchange. This is in the context of the revealing of God's wrath. (v.18) Professing to be wise, they became fools. This is a classic description of a person who has shifted their focus from a heart-based relationship with God demonstrated in honoring Him and giving thanks (v.21) to living in left-brain speculations resulting in the heart going dark. This implies that previously the heart was not dark but was designed to be full of light, of fire, of passion in a vital connection with the ultimate Lover. Professing to be wise... This is more description of the cause that results in the tragic results further described in this chapter. This is likely one of the most subtle and effective deceptions that Satan uses on us. Because this profession of being wise entrenches us in self-justification and defensiveness blocking all attempts to reveal the truth about our cold, darkened hearts. Exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for and image in the form of.... Notice what is exchanged for what. Glory is let go of to receive an image. An image of what? What is an image? What is glory? Be careful not to assume the answers too quickly and rush on. Allow the text to contribute to the real meaning of the words it uses and still maintain an open mind even then. It seems to me that the image is the counterpart or counterfeit of the glory, since the enemy is into counterfeiting everything that is true. We lose most of the significance and application to our own lives of this powerful passage when we brush off the reference to image as being carved idols worshiped by weak-minded people. I don't believe that a physical image is the primary issue revealed here. That is not our great danger. What is the real problem is looking to anything or anyone as a source of life instead of an intimate, dynamic, growing vital connection with the only true God. Exchanging real glory for an image is exactly like looking to pornography for pleasure in place of enjoying the ultimate sexual experiences in the context of a healthy, exciting and deeply bonded marriage relationship. The first is a self-destructive and very poor imitation, an “image” of the glory of the second. The text goes on to reinforce this truth even more. God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts... This is not an arbitrary act of a God that is offended by sinners and determined to punish them in retaliation as is so commonly thought. This is the reality of a spurned lover finally relinquishing and releasing a determined person stubbornly rejecting all attempts at reconciliation. It is acknowledging and sadly respecting the decision of the other to permanently break off an intimate, healthy relationship for a twisted, lifestyle of indulgence and and self-destruction. It is a parallel to exchanging the truth of God for a lie (v.25). This is just a preliminary note to be explored much deeper when I have more time. (next in series)

Thoughts About Blessing

Miscellaneous thoughts about blessing and identity. Psalm 145 seems to hold a definition of what blessing is. Blessing unlocks resources and authority in the supernatural realm. Prophecy in blessing is God's view, God's picture of life and character that reflects His image. Is God like our false identity, the one we usually think we really are, or like something very different beyond what we allow ourself to imagine? Blessing is re-speaking God's creative words of identity, speaking true identity into existence. A blessing is like impregnating the womb of the heart with the sperm of God's power and identity that combines with the latent seed of our unique individuality to create and bring to life our true identity. The health of this new life, our true identity in Christ, is affected by the nourishment we bring to it. It may not be even obvious for a time like a growing embryo in the womb of a woman, but if we allow it to grow and protect and nourish it, it will come to birth and come out in the open sooner or later as a revealing to the watching world of who we really are designed to be. It is the revelation of our true destiny. As earthly parents we repeatedly fail to properly relate to our children, to feed their hearts with affection and to see them through the eyes of God. But even though we are often faithless He is always faithful regardless of what appearances and feelings insist. Even when we have imparted cursing and been a source of death instead of life, He will continue to pour out yet more grace. While we have tragically misrepresented Him and defamed His reputation, He continues to love and forgive and passionately pursue not only our children but us as well. Allow Him to love you effectively. Worldly economics promises a counterfeit salvation; we think we need money to restore us to our real potential, to empower us to realize our true identity. It uses fear of failure and shame as a counterfeit of faith.

Mind vs. Heart Religion

The mind is the gateway to the heart, the outer court surrounding the inner sanctuary. What is allowed to fill the mind determines the atmosphere that the heart breathes, the diet that the heart is fed which in turn affects the health or weakness of the heart. A religion isolated to the mind does not have the truth and power of heart-based religion because it is not based on true reality. But heart-based religion submerged in a mind kept full of shallow thinking and junk food is a religion of emotionalism and self-pleasing that also is not based on the truth of heaven. Just like you don't feed your physical heart directly, but provide nutrients through the digestive tract and into the blood that determines the health of your heart; just so the mind and imagination and senses are the input points from which the heart draws its strength or is debilitated. Taking drugs to feel good may seem to be satisfying for a few moments but may take years off the usefulness of the heart. Indulging in sin-laced entertainment and pleasure-producing mental and physical activities that are not in harmony with heaven may make us feel good repeatedly in the short-term but continuously weakens the affections and attachments of our heart to God which is the one important criteria that determines our entrance into heaven according to the parable of the sheep and the goats.