Heart Transplant

Selfishness is like glue, like sticky cholesterol that builds up in our arteries and chokes off the supply of life-giving blood to our heart and brain. Selfishness throughout our lifetime accumulates weight in our heart, weights that are like multiplied children created by the illicit marriage of bad experiences and memories during our life interpreted through union with lies implanted by Satan. The resulting weights multiply and fill our hearts with heaviness until they become so stiff and full of self-defensiveness and sticky selfishness that they become as hard as stone. All of this imagery can be derived from the meanings of the original Hebrew word 'eben and its root word banah from which it is derived. This is the word translated as “stone” or “stony” in Eze. 36:26 describing the heart that God promises to remove from us and replace with a heart of flesh.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26 NIV)

When I looked up the Hebrew word translated “flesh”, I received an even greater surprise. This is the description of the new heart that God promises to give us in place of the stony heart that He removes. The word for flesh in the Hebrew is basar and contains nuances of meaning referring to flesh, human body, external female sexual organs and nakedness. The root Hebrew word from which this was derived means to be fresh, i.e. full, rosy, cheerful; to announce glad news:--messenger, preach, publish, shew forth, (bear, bring, carry, preach, good, tell good) tidings. I would have never guessed in a lifetime that all of this lay beneath the surface of the word translated “flesh” before I looked it up.

When I compare these two words and their underlying meanings that are descriptions of the heart God removes from us and the heart He implants in us, I can see the dramatic contrast between them. At the same time there is also a similarity. There is the idea of reproduction going on in both descriptions. The stony heart is one that had become so filled with heaviness, the children of lies and sin in our experience, that it is not salvageable and we have to have a heart transplant if we are to continue our existence for very long. The new heart of “flesh” also has implications of children by reference to the intimacy implied in the inferences to nakedness and female sexual organs. But this reproduction of children is rooted in the Gospel, the good news that is fresh and life-giving, cheerful and exciting. This is a direct contrast to the heaviness that characterizes the “stony” heart.

This analogy came to me this morning of a literal heart-transplant and the various dangers and phenomena that occurs in those physical situations. Generally a heart transplant is required when the old heart has become so damaged and dysfunctional that it threatens our very life and it becomes urgent that we get a healthier heart or we will soon die. The search is launched for an available heart that is in much better shape and that is compatible with our body chemistry. When it is found and the surgery is completed, from that point on our own bloodstream supplies the nourishment that determines the health of the new heart.

What if, in the physical analogy, the old heart was in terrible shape because of our bad habits and diet? Our blood was full of contaminants, high cholesterol and all sorts of counterproductive characteristics that led to the hardening and failure of our first heart. What if our lifestyle continues as it was before? What would likely happen to the new, healthy fresh heart under these continued conditions?

Even though we receive a new heart from God that is fresh, open, transparent, intimate and excited with the “good news”, it can also be in danger of slowly becoming more and more contaminated itself and become sluggish due to our failure to change the habits of diet and lifestyle that lead to our previous crisis. This is why it is possible to still be lost even after a genuine conversion and the receiving of a new heart. While the new heart is full of truth and life and vigor and joy when we first receive it, if we allow compromises with our old lifestyle to get a foothold in our life and old habits get reestablished, we can slowly turn even the miracle of a new heart into a sad story of failure that is even worse than our original condition.

While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage. For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: "A dog returns to his own vomit," and, "a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:19-22 NKJV)

There is also the interesting phenomena of “heart memory” that is just now starting to be explored and discovered, literal memories that can be recalled by the recipient after a heart transplant of events that took place in the life of the person from whom the heart came. There are even reports of abilities suddenly realized in the life of the recipient such as being able to swim that were not present before the heart transplant. All of this has much potential for exploration in this analogy to the new heart that God implants within us. But I will have to wait for more time to explore those further. Maybe you would like to share thoughts on this that you have learned. Feel free to leave a piece of your heart in the comments.

Modes of Law

Crime and (arbitrary) punishment modality – prescriptive law

vs.

Truth or (natural) consequences – descriptive law (or natural law)

Forgiveness has very different meanings and implications depending on which modality you are using. In fact, many words take on a different meaning depending on which model is being used.

Repentance has very different meanings.

Confession has very different meanings.

Discipline has very different meanings.

Salvation has very different meanings.

Heaven has very different meanings.

Gospel has very different meanings.

Power has very different meanings.

Truth has very different meanings.

Hell has very different meanings.

Sin has very different meanings.

Crime and Punishment This rule-based system is oriented around a hierarchy model of authority and control like a kingdom or artificial government. The goal is forced conformity to prescriptive laws with arbitrary punishments determined for each infraction. The primary motivation is fear of punishment or selfish desire for rewards.	Truth or Consequences This relationship-based system is bound together in family ties of community where everyone is of equal value but differing stages of maturity. The tools for growth are education of natural cause and effect relationships inherent in the universal created model and learning how to become more and more satisfied and connected with others. The primary motivation is increasing joy and enjoyment of living abundantly from our hearts in union with others.
Righteousness – means keeping the law to the letter with a focus on detailed regulations, fear of infractions and fear of enforcers. Motivation is to avoid fines and arbitrary punishments meted out with force by those in authority.	Righteousness – means living naturally from the heart according to the way the heart was originally designed to live, openly, passionately, expressively and with joy. Being in synchronization with all of creation filled with love, praise and gratitude.
Sin – means committing an infraction against the rules by disobeying orders – anything short of absolute perfect conformity to every law and requirement.	Sin – resistance to the natural design of creation; attempting to live without drawing life from the only Source of life but looking to anything else to depend on for life. Choosing to follow my own cravings in place of God's revealed desires for me.
Truth – cognitive facts that are provable from documents produced by recognized and approved authorities. No credence is given to emotions, feelings and little to social surroundings. Truth is emphatically objective.	Truth – all that is realized and useful through the various forms of communication received from God our Designer. Truth is always in agreement with itself but may at times not seem to be. There are degrees of importance given to the various methods of understanding truth so that everything can be synchronized beautifully by the Spirit of God.
Discipline – various shades of threats or punishment employed to produce fear of pain combined with various forms of rewards employed to induce people to conform to established rules of conformity.	Discipline – the relationship of being a disciple whereby a less mature person is mentored by association with more mature persons thereby learning how to respond in all sorts of situations in a life-giving way by observation of the actions and spirit demonstrated.
Power – the ability to wield force over others by whatever means are available to coerce them into agreement or conformity.	Power – the natural strength that occurs when many minds and hearts are in agreement and harmony with each other through bonds of love producing a life-giving environment in which to thrive.
Confession – forced admittance of guilt for lawbreaking with expectations of accompanying emotions of self-despisement, groveling for mercy etc.	Confession – agreeing with the assessment of our real condition (not identity) by the revelation to our minds and hearts through the inner promptings of the Holy Spirit Who shows us the truth about reality, both inside ourselves and outside.
Repentance – generally a self-forced decision to quit fighting the system and try harder to conform to the rules and guidelines imposed on us.	Repentance – the gift of a new perspective and new desires received and embraced in the heart as a result of our amazement at the kindness, patience and tolerance of God.
Forgiveness – foregoing and releasing us from the arbitrary punishments designated for us to suffer from breaking the law.	Forgiveness – taking upon one's self the responsibility for all of the inward pain and suffering caused by the offenses against them by another person without holding any desire for revenge or retaliation of any kind. This releases to the offending party the opportunity to be free themselves of the pain and feelings of guilt if and when they accept the forgiveness.
Salvation – the formula that God somehow put together whereby “the elect” or “saved” are allowed to go to heaven and live forever there. If one can figure out how to get into the formula correctly they can be saved.	Salvation – the interactive experience with God whereby the Spirit of God works from inside the heart outward in a person's life to restore them to their original design and potential, bonding them to others with love to create what is called the family of God or body of Christ.
Heaven – a physical place somewhere up in the sky where nothing will hurt us, we can do anything we want and will always be happy and free from troubles and annoyances, and temptations. A place where we will live wealthy in very extravagant mansions and do lots of fun things.	Heaven – primarily a condition of the spirit of a person that has a vital, ongoing, growing connection with the heart of God that creates peace and joy in the soul. Secondarily a place in the universe where God lives and longs for us to be with Him there to enjoy abundant life with Him and with all His other created beings.
Hell – a physical place where people who reject the Atonement of Jesus are forced to remain and be tortured by an angry God in flames of fire for not believing in Jesus or obeying and loving God.	Hell – the most excruciating emotional experience possible that will spill over into every other dimension of our being caused by the full exposure of unhealed hearts to the overwhelming love, kindness, beauty and passion of God for us without the ability to respond with love in return.
Gospel – has very different meanings for different people. Sometimes subtly thought of as a list of doctrines that must be accepted intellectually in order to be saved. Usually the story of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins but without much real comprehension of how that really relates to us personally. The formula whereby Jesus died to get us off the hook with God so we could get to heaven.	Gospel – the wonderful truth of all the above and that it really isn't all of the other column. The truth that God is crazy in love with all of us and wants more than anything to spend eternity as our closest friend, companion and lover in perfect joy and satisfaction together. That God is not angry with us but is passionate to restore us into closeness and intimacy with Him.

You can begin to see, based on the discrepancies between the two columns, that a discussion between two people who are on different sides of these paradigms face pretty much insurmountable obstacles to understanding each other due to the dramatic differences in the meanings behind the common words they are using. Even when they try to explain what they mean and go to great lengths to prove their definitions, because of the underlying assumptions that run throughout all the religious terms on each side they will still cling to their own definitions and become confused and frustrated as to why the other person can't see what to them is so very obvious.

A great amount of confusion is also experienced when a person is in transition from one paradigm to the other and is mixing terms from both sides in their thinking and reasoning. Nothing seems to really make sense, and rightly so because the two paradigms are incompatible. The great news is that even in our confusion and learning and growing God is always patient, kind and tolerant which is the very things that attract us to Him and lead us into the truth.

(next in series)

Law of Reflection

Everyone of you who passes judgment, ...in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself. (Rom. 2:1)

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." (Luke 6:37-38)

Because we all are like mirrors, this universal principle cannot be circumvented. I will receive in kind generally what I give in my spirit. The same truth applies not only negatively but positively as well. There is also the added element of the principle of multiplication, so that what I plant with my spirit will be increased by the time it returns to me. This principle of increase is because of the principle of growth. All animate beings grow, they do not remain static and inanimate. In fact, the very word is linked to the word animated which implies outflowing life.

The fact that we grow is made possible because our inner beings, both physical and otherwise, are multiplying in many various ways. Because of the introduction of sin we are also dying at the same time and our health is determined by which one is happening more than the other. But in God's way of life death is not a legitimate presence and will be banished eventually. But even now we are to enter into eternal life to as much extent as possible.

Because we are multiplying-type beings and that defines our very existence, the quality of our lives are largely determined by our continual choices as to what we will give out which in turn determines largely what will be reflected back to ourselves with interest. Even what we dwell on when we look within ourselves will begin to multiply so we have to be selective what we think about both in ourselves and in others. This is not the same as “righteousness by denial” where we try to pretend we have no faults or sins. It is eliminating the destructive presence of those sins by acknowledging them when convicted by God's Spirit and releasing the death-producing consequences of those sins to Jesus who already experienced every one of them on our behalf.

“Christ was treated as we deserve, that we might be treated as He deserves. He was condemned for our sins, in which He had no share, that we might be justified by His righteousness, in which we had no share. He suffered the death which was ours, that we might receive the life which was His. 'With His stripes we are healed.'” {DA 25}

When I dwell on my faults or the faults of others, I become transformed into those faults even though I think I am opposing them. That is why legalism is so powerless to bring true life to our souls, because it focuses on trying to eliminate sin instead of focusing on thriving and receiving abundant life. That is why judging and condemning produce the very things within us that we condemn in others, because by beholding we become changed. Even if it is my self that I am judging and condemning the effect will be the same. “By your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

I want to change the way I think radically. I want to look for the things in others that I want to see produced in my own life and affirm those things in their life, even if they are people who are against me and seem to hate me. That will require a huge infusion of grace, but God seems to have an unlimited supply of that for anyone interested in using it. “The law came in addition, to make wrongdoing worse; but where there was much sin, there was much more grace.” (Romans 5:20 BBE)

The law can only focus on violations – negative things that cause pain and death. When we approach life through the lenses of rule-based relationships we only accentuate the results of wrongdoing and make it even worse. That is why, if we want to experience the life that comes only through the atmosphere created by grace, we must choose to look both at ourselves and others always through the eyes of heaven which is the lenses of grace. As we look with grace we receive grace. "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."

(next in series)

Who Am I?

I have been challenged to copy down the real attributes of my heart and my true identity, the person I really am inside so that I can remember them and state them with assurance and confidence. I cannot ever remember doing this before so it seems a bit bewildering to me. But I also realize that with all the confusion going on right now that this advice is very appropriate and timely. I won't mind some input from those who really know me who would like to assist me in this. I am learning the importance of unmasking the heart that Jesus has given me and that is my true identity.

As I talked with my wife about this the question came up if this is not boasting or bragging about myself. As we discussed this we talked about our need to remember that for every counterfeit there is a solid, true original that it seeks to imitate but with a subtle, deceitful twist. Too often we spend so much energy and focus on avoiding counterfeits that we fail to embrace the true because it looks so much like the false. This morning as I continued to think and pray about this God brought to my mind some things from His Word to confirm that I should be doing this.

Thus says the LORD: “Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the LORD; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight,” says the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24 NRSV)

Jesus said explicitly, “Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 10:32-33 NRSV)

Then I was reminded of what happened to Peter when he forgot who he really was and expressed “confessions” of his old identity with his old language of swearing. He denied that he knew Jesus, which was a false statement about who he really was – a close friend of Jesus – and he mistakenly affirmed his old identity as a swaggering, course, caustic fishermen who cared for nobody. Some might say that he was showing his true colors in that moment, that all the mistakes he had made while with Jesus revealed his true identity and that nothing had really changed on the inside. But that is the false identity of the kingdom of darkness that tries to convince us of the lie. Jesus knew better than that – He was the embodiment of truth, and He knew Peter's “confession” was not reflective of his true heart and his love for Jesus. That is why Jesus made it a point to look at Peter after the third denial and lock eyes with him. It was not to impose feelings of guilt and condemnation on Peter like we sometimes assume, but to remind Peter that no matter how often Peter might forget who he was and slip into old patterns of thinking, Jesus knew Peter's true heart that was passionate for God and wanted to be like Him and could not really deny his love for Him. Jesus would not allow any amount of distracting pain and torture being done to Himself to prevent Him from assuring Peter of His faith in Peter's heart. Jesus made sure that Peter saw for a moment in His eyes the love and confidence, the tenderness and forgiveness that Jesus had for him. And that was enough to re-awaken Peter's heart to remember his true identity as one of Jesus' best friends and to weep with great remorse and repentance for denying his true identity as a friend of Jesus.

Many times I too need to be reminded of who I really am when I forget. I need to remember that I am not defined by my misdeeds or mistakes when I momentarily forget my true identity, but I am in truth defined by the characteristics of the heart that Jesus has planted within me and is nurturing, protecting and growing to more perfectly reflect the beauty of His own heart. God says in Jeremiah 9:24 that I should boast – brag even – that I understand and know Him, that He is a God who acts with steadfast lovingkindness – working mercy, justice – giving true decisions, and righteousness – doing what is right in the earth, for in these things He delights – and I delight too.

At this point one friend has committed themselves to emailing me every day to remind me of who I really am. I did not ask them to do that but I know that God's Spirit prompted them to do so. They have already sent their first message reminding me of what they see and encouraging me to affirm what God has designed me to be and is already there. That is deeply appreciated and warmly accepted – yes, one of the characteristics of my true heart. Another characteristic that I want to develop more is a willingness to do the same for others, not only on a regular basis but especially when they are in danger of forgetting their true blueprint.

I want to continue to add and develop and refine my Declaration of Identity to remind myself of what God looks like living inside of me. By affirming what God has designed me to be and has planted in my soul I am replanting healthy seeds of truth that will spring up and produce even more fruit. Jesus said, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:7-8 NIV)

Who am I?

A man, a father who never wants anything or anyone to hurt or threaten any of his children.

A husband who wants his wife to feel loved, safe and fulfilled.

A man who wants to express love and affection openly without inhibition or fear.

A person who desires to be filled with pure and holy passion, devotion and love for God and for his family and friends.

A man who keeps his natural desires and lower passions under control so that they will be expressed appropriately and effectively.

A man of honesty and integrity who values truth even when it hurts.

A man who wants to listen and learn from wise people who can help him grow and mature.

A man who desires deep, lasting bonds of love with other people that are revealed in acts of thoughtfulness, kindness and sympathy and that will stay firm in any crisis.

A man whose heart is morally upright and pure and is learning how to relate in healthy ways that will demonstrate his affections while respecting the proper rights and feelings of those he loves.

An industrious person who enjoys working, creating new ideas, building and improving physical structures and learning new skills.

A sensitive, caring man who lives from his heart and makes himself vulnerable and transparent to people with whom he desires to have bonds of trust and friendship.

A musician who expresses his soul and innermost feelings through various forms of music that cannot be expressed through words.

A writer who listens to the voice of God in his soul and mind and shares these thoughts with others.

A friend who is learning to better listen to the hearts of hurting people who need support and encouragement.

A man who is discovering the meaning of real joy and desires to be willing to be there for people when they need someone just to go through an experience or emotion alongside them.

A caring person who believes in the power of family love bonds where each person will trust each other and differences or conflicts will be addressed in a spirit of reconciliation with the goal of restoration of close ties of love and affection.

A man who firmly believes in the Atonement already in place created by God through Jesus Christ so that all of our sins are forgiven and wiped away, all of our guilt can be released completely and immediately, and all of our relationships can be healed with His love.

A Christian who has committed himself to the pursuit of knowing God's heart intimately, His feelings, His view of reality and living in His love for me.

A father who draws out of each of his children with tenderness and persistence the special gifts and characteristics that God placed in them at conception.

A man who seeks to discover the real reasons that lie behind the surface and uncover the hidden beauty in each person with whom he connects.

A person who is learning to be more congruent in his expressions, learning to be less afraid of what others think about him and more attuned to what God sees in him.

A man devoted to discovering the passion of God woven throughout all of the Word of God and waiting to be unleashed in the lives of those who join him in pursuit of mining the Word.

A man becoming one in whose spirit is no guile and no deceit found is in his mouth.

A man who is being led by the Spirit of God on his journey to eventual full realization of his present true identity as one of the sons of God. (Rom. 8:14)

A man who firmly believes in God's amazing ability and plans to work all things together for good to those who love God. (Rom. 8:28)

A man of grace who is eager to cover a multitude of sins by not engaging in gossip or spreading damaging rumors about other struggling souls.

A man who daily seeks the wisdom of God to know how to respond appropriately with a spirit of kindness reflective of God's Spirit.

A humble man who at the same time is not afraid to “brag”, or acknowledge his intimate relationship with God.

A man who seeks to learn from others, both from their strengths and from their failures.

A person who is willing to learn from his own failures while not becoming overwhelmed with discouragement and forgetting who he is.

A man of faith, not only in God's good intentions and ability but faith in those around him to respond to the grace and kindness of God's compassion and infinite love.

A patient person who seeks God's perspective when things don't seem to be going well.

A devoted husband who pursues the heart and affections of his lovely wife, cherishing her above all other women in his life and being ravished in her love.

A caring man who is not afraid to reveal sensitive emotions in public.

A saint, who is a sinner who trusts totally in the character and identity of Jesus Christ as the basis of his relationship with God and with others.

A believer who gives all of his pain, fears, guilt and problems to Jesus believing that one Person is enough to experience the pain and loss created by my sins and I do not need to re-experience that again.

A man who deeply desires bonds of true love and affection with other people who are seeking to be real and open themselves.

A person who is not ashamed of the identity that God has created him to be.

A man with a soft heart for children and elderly people and desires to serve and protect their hearts and bodies from harm.

A man who desires to be bold for God's reputation and be willing to speak in His defense even when it is unpopular.

A man who thinks outside the box, unwilling to accept “canned” answers or be content with platitudes and empty words.

A Christian who wants to passionately know the real truth about God and sweep away all the confusing lies amassed in religion to reveal the beauty and glory and magnetic attraction of the true God of love.

A man sensitive to pain and sympathetic to others who are suffering.

A man who wants to be used by God to be an authentic witness of the ability of God to transform him as an experiment of grace.

A person who values beauty everywhere it can be found in God's creation.

A man who trusts God when he can't see through the dark and can't feel His presence just then.

A person who longs for real community and closeness with others who are being led by the same Spirit of the Father, whether or not they profess to know God.

A perceptive friend who desires to stimulate the uniqueness and specialness in those with whom he has influence.

A man who is not ashamed of his body, but seeks to care for it, protect it and keep it healthy and strong so that it can be used as a house for God to live in.

A man who is not ashamed of his infirmities and limitations.

A person with weaknesses and liabilities that needs honest-hearted, caring friends to remind him, encourage him, give him perspective and support him in his everyday life.

A man with humility received from God and a willingness to be a friend, a confidant and a companion for everyone that God places on his heart.

A man who knows that the only true goodness in his life is only reflective of the merits of Jesus whom he is becoming like through God's transformational power.

A man of prayer who carries on instant messaging with God on a regular basis to stay in tune with what God is doing and thinking.

A disciple of Jesus who is being tutored and groomed as one of the sons of the Almighty.

A gentle man who believes that force is never a means for good and that the true power of love is superior at all times to its counterfeit of force though it often takes longer to see results.

As I update this I will place it on a separate page in my site easily accessible to keep it fresh.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:23-24 NAS95)

As is often the case, and as I suspected even before I opened the book, the message in My Utmost was carefully designed to fit perfectly what God was already talking to me about through various sources. That is why I waited to post the above until after I read today's reading. Sure enough, it was a powerful confirmation from God that I was thinking along the same lines as He wants me to. Here is what it says.

By what right do we become “a royal priesthood?” By the right of the Atonement. Are we prepared to leave ourselves resolutely alone and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer? The continual grubbing on the inside to see whether we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, morbid type of Christianity, not the robust, simple life of the child of God. Until we get into a right relationship to God, it is a case of hanging on by the skin of our teeth, and we say – What a wonderful victory I have got! There is nothing indicative of the miracle of Redemption in that, Launch out in reckless belief that the Redemption is complete, and then bother no more about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ said – pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints, pray for all men. Pray on the realization that you are only perfect in Christ Jesus, not on this plea – “O Lord, I have done my best, please hear me.”

How long is it going to take God to free us from the morbid habit of thinking about ourselves? We must get sick unto death of ourselves, until there is no longer any surprise at anything God can tell us about ourselves. There is only one place where we are right, and that is in Christ Jesus. When we are there, then we have to pour out for all we are worth in this ministry of the interior. (MUHH 6/21)

Tagged! You're It

I have been tagged as “it” in the world of blog. This seems to be a very interesting game being enjoyed by various bloggers who are expected, when tagged, to publish 8 random facts about themselves on their blog page and then tag 8 more people who in turn become “it”.

Of course one would never even know they have been tagged if they do not keep up with the other person's blog who tags them. And while I sort of keep up with maybe up to 8 other blogs I certainly am not know to that many of them as one who could tag them. I don't know of eight other bloggers who keep up with my blog to know that they were tagged. But then, I suppose that's not my problem anyway. If I list 8 bloggers as tagged even though they never read my blog I have fulfilled the “obligation of the law”, right? Interesting how I can nearly ruin even a game by analyzing it nearly to death.

Well, since I have been tagged by Colin on his site Darkening Glasses, I will not miss this opportunity to highly recommend everyone to put his site on their favorite bookmark list and visit it regularly. I never fail to be inspired by his words of wisdom and insight. He has been one of the surprising blessings in my life I never expected to find when I started out this experiment in blogging months ago. Right now he is running a series of thoughtful comments about the S.O.T.M. – the Sermon on the Mount by Jesus. Don't miss any of it and take time to go back and read some of his previous posts. You will be glad you did.

So, is that a long enough preamble to get you to forget what I am supposed to be doing here?

1. I wear shaded prescription glasses that makes many people suspicious of me because they can't see what my eyes are doing. Contrary to their suspicions, however, the reason I wear them is because my eyes are very sensitive to light and right now I can't afford to buy another pair of clear ones to wear indoors to appease my friends.

2. I wear steel-toed shoes for all the shoes I wear, both work and dress shoes. When I was a teenager and younger I tried to wear other shoes but always ran into the problem of losing them quickly due to holes emerging out the top of the toes long before the rest of the shoe was ready to quit. This is not due to failure to keep my nails trimmed but to the strange shape and design of my big toes that bores holes out the top even when they are trimmed regularly. I used to joke that if they managed to bore a hole through my steel-toed shoes I would put my toes in a museum. M-mmm, maybe after I'm dead and pickled that is.

3. I love participating in quartet music though I have seldom done so. I was part of a quartet around 10 or 15 years ago for a period of about 2 years which I enjoyed very much. I even requested and received handwritten copies of music arrangements from Haven of Rest Quartet which we used for many of their songs. But some of my favorites were from a book one of the members gave me of gospel music written barber-shop style which we thoroughly enjoyed singing together.

4. Along those lines, have you ever heard of the “5^th voice”? I learned about it years ago when I first visited a barber-shop practice session in Chattanooga, TN. During a break in practicing small clusters of men would stand around just striking a chord and intently listening for something. Finally another man explained to me that they were listening for the 5^th, a phenomena where 4 voices blended just right and with the right acoustics will literally create a 5^th voice from the harmonics of the original voices blending together. I never heard them that day but many years later in our own quartet we occasionally heard it. I will never forget one day when we were practicing in the lobby of our church and all the way through a particular song I heard the 5^th voice so loud and distinct that I kept looking around at each of the other 3 guys in amazement trying to figure out if one of them was the one singing that extra high, distinctly clear note. It was so beautiful it sent chills down my spine.

5. OK, like Colin I am getting bogged down trying to come up with more things. Maybe I need to give someone else a call to get me jump-started. I am the 6^th and last child in my family, one of which died 2 days after birth not long before I was born. Since I am not a spring chicken anymore that make the rest of them – well – whatever you want to call it.

6. Back to the music genre again, I spent 2 years about 5-6 years ago singing with a worship team in 2 different churches in Michigan where I lived at the time. One was a large university church and the other was the other fairly large church in town where I attempted to be a worship leader for about a year. I tried to introduce some new ideas in thoughtful programming changes and worship concepts but finally realized that the church simply was not ready for any changes. However, I learned a great deal about worship personally during that time and expanded my thinking a great deal which I will appreciate for years to come. I miss those special times and often wish I could participate again in something similar.

7. About 20 years ago I learned to play the Saxophone with a friend tutoring me who was an excellent player and absolutely loved to play with anyone no matter how bad they sounded. He certainly needed that attitude for a few months to keep coming back as I never learned to read music and sounded more like a bleating goat for awhile than an instrument of music. The first day he came to my house to teach me and play with me he burst out laughing when he saw me playing happily along with the mouthpiece on my instrument upside down.

8. Wow! I actually got to number 8. Well, since music seems to be the easiest thing to talk about (even though I have almost nothing at all to do with it now) I am a keyboard player who loves to play “by ear” and can hardly read music at all except when singing. All of my teacher's since I was 5 years old gave up trying to force me to read notes as I would simply memorize the music and then pretend I was looking at it while playing it for them. However, I wish I had had a teacher who would have picked up on my love for music and my ability to play by ear and tried to develop it much more instead of just staying with the normal teaching methods which did not fit me at all. Oh well, I still enjoy sitting down occasionally at a fine piano and expressing my soul and feelings and even more so if someone who really appreciates it is receiving it from my heart. I love to accompany singers who sing deeply from their heart because then we can feed off each other and really connect in a way that I seldom have the chance to do with others.

Well, there I did it. If you managed to wade through all that and are still reading you might find yourself on the hit list of friends privileged to be “it” and spill your guts share your specialness on your own web page for all the world to see. (I have learned a little bit reading other people's blogs.)

I hereby bequeath the honor of being tagged to the following eloquent writers and bloggers:

• Mountain Laurel at Dusty Angels – check out her book for some very personal and interesting reading.

• Maiden, Bringer of Peace

• Notes from Inside My Head not that I think she may ever see this, but she has a great blog.

• rachman-unprecedented

• meow – Surprise

• formerly a student.... Another blog I like to keep up with but may not notice they are now “it”.

• Seana Waters Welcome I may have to jog her to look at this, but she already has some very interesting info about herself on her web page.

• SUICIDE BICYCLE RIDE OK, so I reaching and I'm sure this guy will never see this tag. But he has an interesting page and I have run out of ideas.

For those who want to continue the game and are tagged here, you are supposed to post 8 fascinating, compelling, startling secrets things about yourself on your own blog and then tag 8 more people to pass it on. Got that? You're it!

By the way, if you are reading this and have an interesting blog that I don't know about, leave me a comment and let me check it out. Or if you are one of my friends that never blogs but just stares at mine once in awhile (I know some of you do), think about starting up your own blog and posting now and then. It's extremely easy to do and actually does connect you with others in surprising ways. If you want any help setting one up I and many others will be eager to assist you. Someone else set mine up completely to coax me into getting started. Let me hear from you.