Indigestion Mutiny

As I was driving to work this morning and thinking about the mutiny that my stomach has been conducting over the past few days, I got to thinking about how this might be a lesson for me about my relationship to the body of Christ or maybe some of the problems that we experience in the local church.

So, what does my stomach going on strike for a few days have to do with the church?

Well, I decided to think about it a little more. My stomach for the past few days seems to have almost completely shut down operations and gone on vacation with little concern for the feelings or well-being of the rest of my body. It refuses to process almost anything that I have tried to coax it to take. About all that I could put in it without serious complaining for the first couple days was water. Even the herbal tea that I fixed thinking it would settle my stomach the first morning only caused it to rebel intensively and instantly which left me with no illusions of trying that idea again for a long time.

After a couple days I tried to eat a little soup in the evening after eating nothing all day, but it sat like lead in my stomach and only served to get me up very early in the morning not feeling well at all and caused me to regret that I had tried to eat anything. I finally got the message that I would just have to leave it alone until it was good and ready to go back to work. Meanwhile the rest of my body was languishing for nourishment and I was getting so weak that I could not stand up or work for very long without sitting down frequently and catching my breath.

It occurred to me that maybe there could be an important lesson in this about what is going on in my area of the body of Christ, the local church. It seems to me that the church is exhibiting some of the same symptoms of overall weakness that I have been feeling for the past few days. It also made me wonder if possibly it might be for similar reasons – lack of nourishment due to insufficient digestion of good food.

You see, I have been willing and able all this time to put food into my stomach to supply the needs for the rest of my body at any time. My mouth was more than ready to savor and chew on good food, my nose enjoyed smelling the food that others were eating as were my eyes. In fact, at church this last weekend they had a very delicious-looking and smelling social meal that I really desired to participate in, but my stomach was still out on strike and so it was out of the question. All I could have were a couple glasses of lemonade.

Is it possible that there are parts of the church that are blocking the assimilation of the nourishment that the body so desperately needs just like my stomach and intestines are preventing me from enjoying food and providing for the rest of my body like I need? Is there good spiritual food just waiting to be given to the church members, the body of Christ but certain people who may somehow be in positions of responsibility for the nourishment of the body might be preventing that food from being digested properly or distributed freely? If so, am I part of that problem myself?

The more I come to perceive the real spiritual condition of some of the people around me, the more amazed I am at how empty they are, how malnourished they seem to be when it comes to real spiritual vitality. But instead of feeling critical about this as it is so easy to do, I am becoming concerned that there is somehow a bottleneck in place preventing the normal distribution and digestion system that God designs for the church to have happening all the time.

Spiritual malnourishment is a very serious problem, but it might be due to things that we are overlooking. We might suppose that there simply isn't enough spiritual food available, that we need a good pastor to feed us or better speakers to come visit more often. But that may possibly not be the case at all. Just as there is plenty of good food available for me right now but I can't benefit from it like I want to, there might be food all around us that we simply are refusing to assimilate. Some might suppose that other people are not ready to receive very much spiritual food or that it might be too heavy for them to receive. This may partly be true, but we have been in this condition for so long that I wonder if maybe some want to keep it that way for some reason.

My stomach seems to have me hijacked right now. It acts like it has a mind of its own and a schedule of its own and it is not even willing to tell me when it is going to quit this unusual activity. I feel sometimes as if I am waiting for my stomach to let me know when we can have a reconciliation and can began fully cooperating again like we used to do. But it seems to have a spirit of independence and nothing I try seems to have much effect on changing the situation very much. So I have had to simply let it go without food day after day hoping that it will finally relent and start feeling genuinely hungry so that we can get synchronized again and have all of my body parts in agreement and at peace again. Of course, in the meantime the rest of me is suffering from lack of needed nourishment and strength.

I feel very much the same way in my own church. I feel that many are starving for lack of spiritual nourishment while others are so intent on keeping up appearances that they won't allow much real food to be introduced or digested properly. When good food does show up occasionally they seem to almost feel threatened or resentful at times. This puzzles me and makes me ask God what is really going on here. But I keep getting the sense that I need to wait and allow hunger to have its effect. In fact, I have found myself praying more intently that God will cause all of us to feel much more hungry, intensely hungry so that we will begin to crave real food and will become dissatisfied with the status quo, the superficial and will desire to come together to seek God more intentionally.

Sometimes I feel like I am trying to introduce food into a system that is unwilling to accept it and distribute it. But I also wonder if I might be part of the problem in other ways that I am unaware of as of yet. How might I be blocking others from experiencing God in their lives more fully? Is my spirit discrediting the claims of God to be able to transform people radically? Am I saying one thing and living another, thus giving the body forms of indigestion? Or maybe I am unwilling to be part of the humble system of eliminating wastes that most people find to humiliating to even think about?

I want God to show me how I can cooperate with Him and His plan for healing the serious dysfunction of the digestive system of my church body. It is dangerous to go for long periods of time without proper nutrition. It also prevents the body, whether physical or spiritual, from being able to accomplish much at all of any useful significance when it is barely able to just keep limping along in survival mode.

I am beginning to sense that spiritual vitality is connected with the interactions and the health of the spirit of each person involved. If my spirit is not full of hope, of courage, of faith, of joy and vitality and passion that marks the life of a person connected closely with God, then I am certainly part of the indigestion problem of the body of Christ. In fact, I am rather sure that it wouldn't take long to find some who would confirm that I give them a sense of indigestion.

I am not sure what to do about this condition. I am praying about it and asking God to open my eyes, my mind and especially my heart and to change my spirit even more radically to be part of His solution of healing for the local body. I don't know what that means or what it will involve. I could speculate I suppose, but I would rather hear what God has to say about it. I want to perceive God's solutions, God's plans, God's purposes and what He is doing behind the scenes instead of trying to come up with my own schemes. I believe that finding out what God is up to and cooperating with that makes more sense that trying to fix things with my ideas and solutions. But that takes extra patience most of the time and so I am waiting to hear more from His Spirit.

Meanwhile, I am hoping that with some careful attention and slow improvement my own stomach is beginning to allow me to get a little more processing done of my own. I have been able to eat a little more today, though very small amounts. I have been able to eat a couple pieces of fruit for a couple meals and even got down a salad tonight. I hope it doesn't bother me before morning.

And as far as the church goes, I am still writing down many things that are coming to my mind at various times. But I am also praying that God will open my heart much more, will transform my spirit more radically and that I will be empowered with the unconditional love of Jesus dwelling in me so that others will smell the goodness of God and get excited about feasting at His table.

Floyd's Song

Well, this is going to be a very interesting post. I must share with you one of the most surprising things that has happened to me in a very long time.

As I had noted previously, last Thursday I woke up very early with a stomach bug of some sort and I have been suffering from it ever since. This meant that I could eat almost nothing every day. When I did attempt to eat some soup in the evenings it sat like lead in my stomach overnight and only gave me further problems. So I have had to be just content to drink a little water and whatever else seemed to not upset me too much and wait this out.

I also tried to continue to work the last couple days of last week which also didn't work out too well under these conditions. I was so weak that by by Friday I ended up having to sit down every few minutes to just get enough strength to continue working a few more minutes. I felt totally drained and even could not think very clearly. By noon I was nearly wasted and went home to take a nap and try to recover a little more energy.

What concerned me was that we were scheduled to attend an annual officer's installation banquet for the Barbershop chorus that I belong to on Saturday evening. I realized by this time that at best I might be able to eat only a few bites of the banquet and I just hoped that I might feel strong enough to even attend. About a week ago the president and the director of the chorus both had strongly encouraged me to try to attend and had even discussed with the restaurant how to provide vegetarian food for us since nearly everything they serve contains meat. After all of these accommodations I felt that it would be rather unkind not to try to respond to their generosity.

By Saturday afternoon, even though I had not eaten all day, I felt that I could probably get through the evening O.K. and maybe even be able to eat a few bites of food. I was hoping that maybe I might even be hungry enough by that time that it might actually start digesting instead of just sitting in my stomach all night. But I also wanted to attend this event because it is one of the social highlights of this organization that has become a positive part of my life over this past year. It was in fact, this very event last year that was the first time I had had opportunity to socialize with this group before I had even gotten to know any of them.

As I was laying in front of my fireplace Saturday morning trying to keep my stomach comfortable and just resting, I suddenly began to have an inspiration very much like many of those that end up as blog posts. Only this time it was something along the line of a tribute to the man that I have come to admire and appreciate very much over this past year. It is the father who is the elder member of the father-son team that directs our chorus and has had such a profound influence on keeping this chorus active and attractive for around forty years now.

He is the only member remaining who has been in this chorus ever since it was started. And interestingly this chorus was being started up in this town at just the same time that I was leaving this same town as a young man to go off to boarding high school never to live near here again until just a few years ago. Of course I had no idea at that time about any of these events transpiring in the same town as I was leaving, but it is interesting to look back and see it from this perspective.

This man is a very unique and gifted man. But much more than that he is a man of heart, of passion, a man who cares about people and shows it openly and sometimes unexpectedly. He not only loves music and the men of this chorus but he is a wonderful family man. His son who directs the chorus with him is an adopted son that was raised in their home with love and affection that still shows yet today. And as I watch the way he interacts with his grandchildren I almost become jealous of the love that so obviously surrounds this man's family.

In addition I have also come to sense that this is a man who cares about how God thinks about him. A number of times I have seen his love for God show through as he prays with our chorus before a series of concerts in maybe eight churches in a row. He is also a man that has surprised me at times when an audience's response suddenly induces another part of him to suddenly come alive and our performance unexpectedly takes on an extended dimension that none of us were expecting to experience.

As I thought about all these things and how much I have come to appreciate this guy, I decided that maybe I should take the time to write down how I felt and present it as a sort of tribute to the members and their wives who would be attending the banquet that night. So I grabbed my computer and began writing down everything I could think about and decided that maybe I could end it with a proposition for a toast. As I explained in the tribute, I don't really know anything at all about toasts because I have never been a drinker. But I presumed that everyone else would know what to do and that this might be something that would be meaningful to them maybe even more than to me.

I finished up this tribute in the afternoon and as usual it ended up maybe a bit longer than I intended. I didn't take the time to read it out loud to time it and I didn't really want my wife to read it because she might want to change it too much. (Sometimes things I write are so personal that I feel maybe over-protective of them for awhile which may be good or bad depending on your opinion.) Anyway, I printed it out and didn't tell anyone what I planned to do until after we got to the banquet room.

After we had been there for awhile I decided to check with the president who was in charge of the program for the evening to find out when I might be able to read my tribute. I didn't tell him what it was about, but he informed me that at the end of the meal I was supposed to step out of the room and practice with a quartet for awhile so we could sing at the beginning of the program. This was news to me, but he told me that just before we sang I could read my paper.

That sounded fine with me. Since it would be right at the end of the meal that meant that a toast would seem to make sense at that point. A few minutes later we stepped out into another room and they had me rehearse a couple songs with the members of the most talented quartet in the group – minus their regular Bass of course. I really enjoy singing with these guys because they have that sensitivity for the nuances of the music and put in the expressiveness that is so important for music and that I like to use. After we practiced for about ten minutes we returned to the banquet room and began the program. Little did I realize the real reason that they had taken me out of the room.

After a few comments by the president, he called up our quartet and we sang our two songs. I was beginning to wonder when I might be able to read my tribute but had no chance to even try. Immediately after our performance the director rushed up to me and announced to the audience that they had a special surprise for me. He then brought forward a chair and made me sit down facing the front while the whole chorus gathered in front of me to sing me a song that the director had obviously just composed in the last few days. This song was titled, “Floyd's Song” and expressed their appreciation for my work to take the handwritten, difficult to read music and transcribe it into professional-looking, readable notation so that we could practice and learn our music much easier.

As they expected, I was completely caught by surprise by this. What I hadn't known was that while I was just out of the room they had been practicing this song themselves for the very first time. Though this is something typical of what our director does, I had never expected anything of this sort in response for the little efforts that I have made to contribute to the improvement of this chorus. They have already purchased the music software for me that I needed to do this job and I have enjoyed just being able to make the music easier to read. I really felt it was not necessary to make such a big deal out of it and I certainly wasn't expecting a full-blown musical production to be made of it. But here I sat in a chair being serenaded by the whole chorus singing about my history with them and their humorous musical appreciation for the work that I have been doing behind the scenes to help them.

At the end of the music, two of the men came forward and presented me with a couple very nice gifts. One was a wrapped present which they insisted that I open and show to everyone. It is a book about music that will likely be very helpful in assisting me to figure out some of the Latin and various sometimes confusing rules needed to write music. The other was a beautiful card with a check enclosed that simply left me speechless. I felt so overwhelmed and almost guilty that I really didn't know what to say. I was about to say that I was simply speechless, but then I realized I would be sabotaging my own plans to make a speech. So then I was really left with nothing I could think of to say.

At that point as everyone returned to their seats while shaking my hands as they passed by, I turned around and announced that I was going to hijack the program and that turn-about was fair play. I then pulled out my own 3-page tribute to the very man who had instigated this whole affair and proceeded to read it out loud while trying to be as expressive as possible. Now, you would have to know me a little better to realize that doing this does not come naturally for me. I have found it far easier to write than to speak in public and this is one reason that I decided to write this out and chose to read it instead of attempting to simply speak it off the cuff. While I don't like listening to others read their speeches, I still don't feel comfortable being able to speak myself effectively.

As I neared the end of the first page I began to realize that this was going to take much longer than I had anticipated (about like this post). But I tried to be as expressive as I could and to make eye contact, especially with the man that the tribute was about who was sitting right in front of me. I have to say that I was extremely glad that I had followed my impressions to write this and to give it, for after the unexpected and almost embarrassing experience of being the center of focus myself, I was so glad that I was already prepared to turn the attention around and express my gratitude and thanks to the one who had been behind all this. I really believe that it was God who had prompted me to write this in the first place and who knew that I would want it just when I did.

I was afraid all day that I might become too emotional to even finish the speech and that I would be publicly embarrassed even more. (Yes, I still struggle with a lot of internal fears) When I got to the place in my talk where I pointed him out for everyone's attention, I almost lost it. I knew I had a lot farther to go, but I also realized that allowing emotion to be seen also reinforces the authenticity of my words so I really didn't want to suppress them too much. I just wanted to be able to finish the talk for myself and not depend on someone else to read it in my place.

Actually, the whole day, both before and after this event, I was thinking about the positive benefits that I was feeling simply from choosing to be appreciative. I began to realize how much I have been missing out on in life because I have such a very low level of appreciation in general. I have had this dreadful condition all of my life but I would like it to change as quickly as possible. I have been learning more and more about the power of praise and have begun sensing that there is incredible power to overcome all sorts of evil influences simply through the exercise of gratitude and praise in all directions, not just toward God. I realize that this is old news to many other people, but it is something that still has to soak into my deeper consciousness for myself, not something that can be forced or imposed on me.

The glow from the emotions and bonding that took place last night still lingers strongly and will continue in various ways for a long time to come. It may even likely become seeds that will in turn germinate to produce other random acts of kindness and appreciation that will in turn germinate yet more. It is really the way that true reality was originally designed to function all the time and has only been severely obscured by the darkness of sin and lies about God. Satan is terrified that we will discover this most potent weapon against his power in our lives, but I am determined to become more familiar with its use and to have much more of its benefits in my life and to influence those around me. I want to participate in God's ways of doing things and to attract others to see God differently. As they come to appreciate the real truth about Him and dispose of the lies they have always thought, they too can join the symphony of praise that brings life and joy and healing to the growing family of God.

Persecution

Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. (2 Timothy 3:12)

I am not feeling well today. I woke up this morning right at 2 AM and had to get out of bed feeling like I was about to lose the contents of my stomach. I spent the rest of the morning huddled in front of our fireplace keeping warm and trying to position my body in various ways to appease my upset tummy and hopefully keep it contained until it recovers. As a result I will be rather late for work today if I manage to feel well enough to go at all.

As I felt a little better, at least enough to sit in my chair and read a little, the impression came to me of a verse that is well known among Christians. It is the verse quoted above. As I thought about this verse I sensed that this is yet another one of those places in the Bible that I have usually subconsciously avoided and where some of my inner discomfort gets exposed whenever I read it. I am not sure why God wants me to think about this right now, but even saying that much arouses feelings of apprehension that betray the very issues that I need to get healing for, to get freedom from.

I think it started up this morning while I was thinking about my relationship and feelings about my various blog sites. I have tried to be very careful to not allow these to become a source of pride or a soapbox for me that are used to try to force others to change their opinions about certain subjects. That is not to say that I don't think it is right to present things that differ from what other people believe. The closer I get to God and the more clear my perceptions of His ways have become, the more I feel inner urges to share these life-changing insights and discoveries with anyone that God may lead to read what I have been learning.

But I am also aware of some other dynamics that lie a bit more obscured in my heart in regards to this as well as my relationship in other aspects to those who believe differently than me. My personality has long been one that in certain respects is very timid and fearful about upsetting other people with ideas that they strongly disagree with and that might likely stir up intense opposition. I have had a life-long aversion even toward sales jobs because they almost always require that one uses pressure to change other people's opinions so that they will buy what you are selling. I used to say that I couldn't even sell a heater to an Eskimo. But what I am beginning to sense more clearly this morning is that at a deeper level, part of what I am really afraid of is persecution.

Now I feel compelled to qualify even that statement. I have seen way too many people who almost seem to thrive on a persecution complex, who seem to consider it a badge of honor or an affirmation of correctness to get themselves persecuted for being at odds with others in religious things. I am all too familiar with that kind of confused thinking and I do not want to fall into that model either. But what I am sensing is that my deeply-rooted fears of arguments and opposition, especially when they attack my vulnerable weaknesses through shame and dishonor, these fears are preventing me from fulfilling the role and intentions that my heavenly Father intends for me to carry out within the body.

I have long been very aware of Satan's penchant for using fear to manipulate and stifle the people of God. That is such a classic tactic that it should be a no-brainer to unmask and avoid. But fear lies at the very root of our fallen nature and controls us through the heart, not the mind. As such it is one of the greatest battles that anyone has to face. Feeling vulnerable to having my sense of value diminished, while cognitively is something I can perceive, still is a major threat when it comes to my heart feelings. And it is what we believe in the heart much more than what we believe in the head that determines our course of action and our decisions under pressure.

But as I thought about this verse this morning I could almost hear the Spirit say quite plainly to me, If you are unwilling to face your fears of persecution, of people attacking what you believe in the wrong spirit; if you don't deal with this vulnerability in your character, then in reality you are unwilling to live a godly life in Christ Jesus. I sense that this is simply a statement of reality, a law of the universe that is unavoidable and non-negotiable just as much as gravity. It is a choice of one option or the other. If avoiding conflict takes precedence over accountability to God's directions in my life personally, then the alternative to suffering persecution will be a life that is not godly from heaven's perspective.

I do not have to go to the other extreme and try to stir up opposition to me in order to live godly. That is just as un-godlike as avoiding confrontation at all costs. But I am realizing more clearly as I take time to meditate on this that God wants me to listen to what He has to say to my heart about this and cooperate with whatever plans He has for me in this area. I am in desperate need of boldness while still maintaining a spirit of meekness and humility. And those are not mutually exclusive character traits.

I suspect that possibly everyone is sooner or later going to have to make a decision on this point and maybe it is time for me to face it more openly. If I am really serious about living a godly life in Christ Jesus – and I am – then I have to allow the Spirit to expose these vulnerable areas of weakness in my soul and give Him permission to began seriously launching some major healing and repair operations inside of me.

As I read through the next few verses I began to also see some other exciting things that I have never noticed before. But right now I think I will leave this here since I still don't feel well enough to focus very long.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject if you feel convicted in this area or if you just have some good counsel for me. I am just as much in need of admonition and encouragement as everyone else in the body.

Remember the Prisoners - 2

Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body. (Hebrews 13:1-3)

I feel compelled to stay in this passage and assimilate much more from this. I have been aware of too much fear, shame and other emotions that have prevented me from fulfilling the instructions in this text. I want my life to come into alignment with the principles embedded in these verses and to be a willing encourager for those suffering isolation, abuse and intense discouragement under the attacks of Satan. Whether they are in prison or out of prison, the ill-treatment suffered by those desiring to be loyal to God and follow His paths cries out for others in the body of Christ to stand up for them in some way and to come alongside them emotionally to provide courage, hope and most of all perspective.

I am also keenly aware that the good-intentioned words of many Christians to those suffering under ill-treatment or imprisonment often have the very opposite effect from what they may intend. This is largely due to the fact that they themselves are operating under false assumptions about what God is doing or how He relates to us in trials. Embedded many times in our comments to or about such mistreated fellow believers are subtle statements of judgment, insinuations that enforce the lies of Satan about God, ideas that these circumstances are somehow punishments from God. Conveying those kinds of sentiments is just an underhanded way of claiming to be more righteous than those who are suffering. This was extremely common among the Jews in Christ's day and was repeatedly rebuked by Him.

The other devastating option is to simply ignore those whose situations make us feel uncomfortable. In the back of our minds we are sometimes afraid of sharing in their sufferings because we are so afraid of the pain, the shame and the social stigma associated with such status. So we mistakenly think that if we just ignore them and go on with our own lives that somehow we might be able to avoid being mistreated ourselves or at least postpone it for as long as possible.

But this only reveals our own immaturity and lack of faith and understanding of God's plan for family and the principles on which His government is based. We are failing to identify with the real body of Christ in sympathy and joy. The real meaning of joy is to share in another's feelings, to identity one's self with them in whatever they are experiencing as a means of both encouragement and also to provide them with more joy strength and capacity to handle their trauma. We are robbing the most vulnerable people in the body of Christ of the comfort of God that He desires to have flow through us to them so that we can share in that comfort as we share in their experiences.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. (Romans 12:15-16)

Conversely, if we chose to publicly identify ourselves with those who are suffering under intense trials, if we chose to accept their social shame by identification with them as brothers and sisters in Christ, then we are proclaiming boldly before a hostile world that we are all in this together as family; when they attack one they are attacking all. In fact, by doing so we are really revealing the heart of the Godhead who has made it clear that when any part of the body is touched with pain and suffering that all heaven feels it fully and identifies with them.

If we refuse to be associated with those in suffering, in effect we are saying that we do not want to be much of a part of the body of Christ. We want the pleasure, the fun, the happiness and the promise of being saved ourselves but we are unwilling to be fully connected with the rest of the body when it may cause us embarrassment, bring us shame or damage our own reputation.

I am realizing even as I write these things that I am very guilty many times of wanting to avoid sharing in others shame or identifying with them in their sufferings. Even though there have been times that I have been powerfully blessed by others who chose to identify with me in my shame and public humiliation, how willing am I to do the same for others when it will inconvenience me or maybe even endanger me? There are all sorts of good-sounding reasons I can come up with why I should just pay attention to my own situation and not get too involved in other's messy circumstances. But is this a true representation of how God intends for His family members to relate to each other? Or is this a revelation of cowardice, unresolved shame of my own, fear of what others will think of me displacing my desire to align myself with what God thinks of me?

These are all very real questions that are confronting me forcefully right now. I am actually glad to see them and to see my own cowardly heart being exposed in this way because I know that each time God exposes selfish garbage in my heart that He also is ready to do something about removing it and replacing it with reflections of His own true character and integrity. Whenever I am challenged by the Holy Spirit to face my own faults it is always for the purpose of cleansing me even deeper and infusing His righteousness deeper into my heart and mind and soul on a more permanent basis.

There is a great deal of important instruction and truth in these three verses that I want incorporated into my character and life. And they all come under the heading right at the beginning – Let love of the brethren continue. If I am unwilling to give someone under persecution, ill-treatment, imprisonment and distress an opportunity to receive encouragement from me by sharing in their feelings or identifying with them in their circumstances somehow, then I am robbing both them and myself the strength that is inherent in this principle called JOY. The very essence of joy is sharing identity with someone and making them feel valuable. Joy literally means “someone who is intensely glad to be with me”. This not only strengthens me in my trials and emotional dilemmas, but it is also something that I am obligated to offer to others as well if I am to be an authentic member of the body of Christ.

The last verse here is quite explicit about that very point. If I refuse to fulfill the things listed in these verses, to offer the strength of joy to those who are strangers and need entertaining, who are prisoners and need hope, encouragement and others to identify with them in their condition – if I refuse to stand up for those who are ill-treated and abused and shamed, then I am not really in the real body of Christ despite all my loud assertions to the contrary.

I sense a need to embrace the conviction of the Holy Spirit, to let go of my pride, my fears, my confused notions about what it means to be a Christian, and to allow God to reform and reshape my perceptions of what it means to be part of the body of Christ. I need to engage Him in a deeper healing encounter for my own fears, to have my own shame replaced with a sense of infinite value as a son of God, to be infused with more boldness in the face of humiliation and to be filled with complete peace in assurance of God's everlasting lovingkindness toward me personally. I need to get more real about what it means to be a child of God, willing to be identified with all His other children and willing to provide the blessing of joy to everyone that He shows me in need of that blessing.

What does it really mean on a practical level to identify with someone in prison or who is being ill-treated? Does it mean that you join them in imprisonment? Does it mean that you join the fight when bullies are attacking someone and try to fight them off on behalf of the attacked? Does it mean simply standing to the side and yelling loudly at those who are causing so much suffering to stop what they are doing? What is the right spirit that I need to relate to these various situations so that I might find the right answers to know how to properly respond? What is the real underlying principle that supports the truth upon which this text is based?

I am not sure I have the answers for that, or if those answers can even by synthesized into understandable language. Sometimes the only way to discover truth is to step into the water first, to obey the commands of God without understanding how it is all going to work out. But isn't this what faith is all about? Obeying without explanations ahead of time as to all the whys and hows?

I am definitely one who likes to understand the reasons for things and the explanations of how things work and fit together. I have found this to be a very important asset in exposing many of the lies about God and about reality that have been uncovered in the past few years. But it can also become a liability whenever I allow it to prevent me from obeying instantly when the Spirit impresses me to do or say something that simply doesn't make sense at the moment. I generally tend to want to ask why first and wait until I have a reasonable explanation of how this is going to fit into all the others truths that I have been learning.

But as any good parent knows, there is a lot of time for explaining, for teaching, for enlightenment and instructions as to why and how life works. This is all a very important part of maturing children to empower them to live as responsible adults and to live and thrive more independent from their parents. Independence is not always a bad thing. Parents are very proud of their children's independence when it is a result of true maturity. It means that their children are growing up to be responsible, to be integrated into the fabric of adult life in close connections with the extended family, to bear their own weight in the larger society and to be a greater asset and blessing to the community.

But parents also realize that there are times when it is extremely important that children also have the willingness and trust to simply obey without question and instantly. It could easily save their very life at times. They need to have the confidence in their parents that will allow them to obey spontaneously, and that this obedience will result in their best good in the long run even though they may be clueless at the moment as to the why of the command.

The very same thing is true in our relationship with God. He is not against explaining to us the reasons and functionality of the principles that govern reality as He created it to work. That is an important part of growing us up in Christ, of maturing us to be responsible, interactive participants in the family of God. In fact, the word for perfect as used in the Bible is often better translated mature and that actually conveys better the intent of many of the passages. This understanding also helps one not become so infected with the virus of perfectionism which creates the blindness of legalism.

But there is also great need for the important character trait of implicit trust in the impressions that we receive from the Holy Spirit and a willingness to obey instantly when God commands us to follow his instructions. Failure to obey from a spirit of trust in His worthiness to be trusted will always result in harm and danger for us and quite possible loss to others around us as well. In today's society that prides itself on independence and logic, this has become a great liability and a danger that we have not paid enough attention to. Because the ideals of implicit obedience has been exploited by religious leaders for their own advantage and used to abuse their followers, we have tended to downplay the importance of immediate obedience in a trusting relationship with our Father in heaven.

Everyone who is a true child of God will be led by the Spirit of God according to Romans 8. If I want to be considered a legitimate child of God under His guidance, then I have to learn the lessons of explicit and instant obedience as well as the deeper principles of truth that under gird the government of God. I want to learn that kind of obedience, to be freed from my spirit of independence and rebellion that is rooted in my fears and lies about how God feels about me. I want to be an obedient and faithful son that can enter into the joy of my Lord.

Remember the Prisoners - 1

Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body. (Hebrews 13:1-3)

I just received a sixteen page letter from a man who used to be one of the only people I could really open up with and talk about deep spiritual issues without fear or bias. A number of very painful events have transpired over the past few years that have driven a wedge of misunderstanding between us and caused him to think that he could not trust me. Consequently there has been a number of years pass where we have not been able to communicate hardly at all due to the false assumptions planted by the enemy of God that has divided our unity.

This has been very painful for me. I knew that he did not really understand my perspective, my lack of animosity toward him, my willingness to continue to have a relationship of trust. But because he made choices that compelled him to remove himself from membership in the church in which he had believed for all of his life, he evidently felt that there was no way I could relate to where he was at spiritually. But in fact it seemed to me to be the other way around. It was the assumptions about me that he chose to embrace that became the obstacles preventing us from communicating and enjoying each other's fellowship instead of the things he assumed I thought about him that were not true.

I have longed for many years to be able to get past the false assumptions he had about me and to restore our friendship and openness that we used to enjoy. But each time we did speak for a brief time it seemed that there were many unspoken feelings under the surface that strongly influenced what he thought I was really thinking about him. It is a terrible thing, this issue of lies and assumptions that drives friends apart and causes people to judge others without being willing to allow full disclosure or reconciliation. I do not hold this against him in the least, for it is quite clear to me that given his context, his past and the traumatizing events that have taken place at different times in his life that it would be very easy for him to withdraw and not feel safe trusting himself with others.

This man has gone through horrors that most people would only find imaginary and material for television drama. And even then such a show would only convey a small part of the pain and fear that he has experienced. In recent years, because he has chosen to follow his conscience to the best of his ability and knowledge, his decisions have put him on a different track than the mainstream of society and has elicited even more scorn, derision and rejection by many of the very people who should be there to encourage and strengthen him. But because most people who claim the name of Christ seem more interested in maintaining a comfortable life with little regard to issues of conscience, they cannot understand or relate to a person who is determined to follow a path of integrity in the face of all opposition.

As a result, nearly everyone familiar with his situation has withdrawn from him, assumed that he is guilty of disloyalty to the government and to the church, and consequently is out of favor with God. This idea of loyalty to the state being given equality with loyalty to God is a very dangerous assumption within the Christian community. But as I thought about it more this morning I realized that this has nearly always been the case throughout history. Consider closely the history of many of God's prophets and messengers and it can be seen that many of them were considered outlaws of a sort, rebels against the authority of the governments under which they lived and worthy of punishment or even death.

But this makes sense when one thinks about it logically. All human governments are simply expressions of the will of collections of like-minded people in a society who make laws and manipulate power to impose their opinions and control over everyone within their territory. Because all humanity is sinful and selfish by nature, then governments are always going to reflect false principles that will be to some degree in opposition to the principles of heaven. Sooner or later God's true followers are always going to find themselves at odds with human governments and will be forced to decide which power to give their highest allegiance to, which authority they are going to obey. No matter which way they choose they are always going to find themselves at odds with one authority or another, either in violation of their accountability in their conscience before God or in disagreement with the arbitrary demands of a corrupt government.

This is where my friend now finds himself. He has been accused by the state of not complying with conformance to their illegitimate demands and has been thrown into a federal prison for many months now, longer than what is even considered legal. He has never had a trial or conviction, but this seems of little interest to the judges on his case. In fact, it seems very apparent to most observers that the judges have been deliberately manipulating the legal system to keep him imprisoned with no recourse or justice in order to cover their own corruption and thirst for power. He has become the focal point of potential exposure of much of the corruption in the government that wants to convict him and as a result they have done everything possible to repress and isolate him from all recourse to real justice.

Meanwhile, his health is slowly deteriorating while he languishes in a prison in which there is no appeal for escape but without any conviction of a crime. Yesterday I received a sixteen page letter that detailed the horrors he is experiencing in prison life. It is crystal clear that this is not just a place of social confinement and isolation, this is a house of horrors, a den of demonic activity from which there is no relief day or night except for a very few hours in the early morning. The constant abuse and the incessant, intense level of vulgarity and demonic sounds that fill the place are a constant source of torture to this honest-hearted Christian who is misunderstood by nearly all of his former friends.

Even when he appeared in a courtroom to meet once again the corrupt judges determined to keep him locked away without trial, his testimony of his relationship to God was met with loud scoffing, laughter and calls for a mental examination to prove that he is insane. The level of total godlessness in the so-called halls of justice has become so evident that my friend shudders with horror at the potential consequences they may suffer from their flagrant disrespect of God's holy name and character.

As I read through his letter, my emotions were nearly raw and very delicate to some extent. I had to even wait for a day before I felt emotionally strong enough to begin reading the letter. I cannot explain why that is, but somehow I sensed that I needed to have God's presence to support me before I had the emotional capacity to even start reading this. I needed joy – the presence of someone willing and glad to be with me through this intense experience.

Not only did I have God's Spirit with me but my wife kindly waited until I was ready and then sat and read it after me. That too is another source of joy – someone glad to go through things with me and share emotional experiences of every kind. I have been learning a lot about the true definition of joy over the past few years and it has helped me understand reality better and how God designed us much better than I ever realized before.

As I thought about my friends situation after waking up this morning, I realized that, except for God's intervention and protection, I could just as easily be in his exact spot. There is no reason why I might not be in prison suffering all of the endless horrors and demonic attacks and health problems just as he is right now. I could just as easily be the one rejected by all of my friends, misunderstood and discredited and labeled as an outlaw and a disgrace to Christianity. I am just as vulnerable as he is to being subjected to the very same attacks by the enemy. The only difference is not what either of us deserve but that God somehow at this point in time has a different plan for my life than for his right now.

As I thought about this I told my wife that I want to cherish the time that we still have to enjoy with each other. I realize that the enemy of truth and right is hell bent on destroying and eliminating everything good and right on this earth. This is not just a scuffle between right and wrong, a somewhat polite war of opinions about who is telling the truth and who is lying. This is an all-out vicious battle to the death between the titanic, combined human and supernatural forces of evil in league with each other pitted against the principles of goodness, righteousness, love and God's plans for the universe. I just read this morning about this intense warfare that is coming to a climax in our days, and I realize that my friend just happens to be at one of the most intense hot-spots of this battle with almost no back-up forces to encourage or assist him.

God brought a text to my mind and I decided to look it up and take it to heart. As usual, the context carries a great deal of important instruction to anyone serious about being a true follower of God's ways and committed to having full allegiance to His side in this warfare. That is the text that is at the beginning of this piece. My responsibility is to identity with my friend as if I was in prison with him. I don't know what all that might entail, but I certainly can sense to a small extent how I might feel if and when I may find myself in a very similar situation. This certainly invokes what is commonly called the golden rule. I need to try to do whatever it is that I would want done for me if I were in his place right now.

My relationship with this man also reminds me of the predicament that God finds Himself in with all of us. As I reviewed God's feelings and frustrations with us as described in the first part of Isaiah 59, I realize that it is always the lies about Him that stand in the way of our being able to relate to Him properly. Because we don't think He understands us, or because we think He is angry with us, or condemns us, or all sorts of other illusions we firmly believe in our hearts, these very assumptions prevent us from allowing Him access to us to bring us healing and reconciliation with Him.

Over the past few years I have begun to understand that there is absolutely no animosity on God's part against any of us. In fact, the cross proves unequivocally that there is no amount of hatred, abuse, shame or rejection that we can heap on God that can make Him stop loving us or even reduce it in the slightest iota. As Paul exclaimed in absolute wonder near the end of Romans 8, nothing can separate us from the love of God that was expressed through that demonstration by Christ Jesus.

It is always and totally the lies that we cling to about God that prevents us from enjoying fellowship with Him and receiving His blessing and protection in our lives. It is always the false assumptions that we believe about how He feels about us that block us from accepting His presence and authority in our experience. The problem of sin is 100% an issue of our attitudes toward God, never His attitudes toward us. Yes, God is very, very angry – but not with us. He is extremely angry at sin, the lies about Him that tear away from His heart the very children that He created to share love with for eternity. And only those who stubbornly refuse to let go of the lies in their minds and hearts and refuse the overwhelming offers of forgiveness, grace and cleansing, will at last be lost for eternity. Because love always respects other's freedoms, God is forced to respect our choices as to whether or not we will allow Him to be our friend and Redeemer.

I have been praying for some time now for a much clearer understanding of the real meaning and purpose of the cross of Jesus Christ. As I wrote these last few paragraphs I sensed that God is using this to open just a little bit more my understanding of what is really going on in this war. My own heart is warmed with sympathy for God's predicament and responds to the passion of His desire for me personally. Last night I received an email from another friend who shared a dream that she had about God's desire for marriage to her. From this symbolic dream she awoke with an intense desire to respond to God's passionate love for her burning vividly in her heart and soul. Though she had known all these things in her head for years, this experience suddenly made it very real in her heart and she trusted us by sharing this dream as part of her desire to embrace what God is wanting to do from her perspective in the body of Christ.

God is marshaling His forces. But the forces that He desires for His army never use the weapons of the enemy. They are being trained to use weapons of heaven's design in the ways that overcome the evil forces of this world through love, service and humility. I ask God to train me in His boot-camp, to prepare me to be an effective agent of transformation, an example of His ability to turn a selfish, fearful, rebellious and confused man into a demonstration of grace, peace and kindness. I trust in His faithfulness to finish the work of training He is doing in me. I invite anyone who has working ears to listen to what the Spirit is trying to say to all who are listening with their heart. Let God expose and sweep away the lies about Him that block us from trusting His heart. Give Him permission to have full access to the heart and we can find the satisfaction and joy that we have craved most deeply all of our lives.