Peter's Recovery - scene 4 (click here for next scene)

Breakfast together on the beach with close friends – leisure time – quiet time together. Jesus was using a feature that He had designed into the human brain to respond to healthy relationships. He was synchronizing their minds with His by matching and calming their mental states with His own quiet spirit. It was critical that they spend some important quiet time together before they went into the intense work of facing the inner pain, shame and fear and then the restoration of their hearts to real joy.

Jesus was also careful to consider Peter's physical condition before He led him into his emotional pain to receive healing. Peter had been working very hard all night and was tired, hungry and very discouraged. And even though the miracle of 153 very large fish gave Peter an emotional lift, his blood sugar was still low and he needed something to eat. Jesus took this opportunity to transform the very symbol of shame – the charcoal fire – into a means of fellowship with Himself by having a simple, familiar fisherman's breakfast already warm and ready to eat, waiting on those very coals when Peter arrived. Jesus is always thoughtful, considerate and very kind. He waited in patience with no urgency for His disciples to finish their breakfast and feel physically satisfied before beginning the tough emotional work.

Now it was time to move into the serious healing of Peter's soul, his shattered identity, his depression and hopeless despair. No, Jesus was not interested in restoring Peter to his old confidence and self-assurance. Peter's brokenness had paved the way for his true conversion. Jesus had told him just before that fateful night out that he would be converted, and now the time had come.

“Do you love me, Peter, more than the blessings I have given you? You still love to fish, Peter. But I am going to ask you to enter a whole new type of ministry than what you have been thinking about and putting together in your imagination. Your identity has always been as a fisherman, a man of the sea, a cut above all the land-lubbers. You have used tricks and nets to deceive fish to trap and force them into your boat with no concern or thought of their well-being. You have always taken great pride in your personal skill and experience in this occupation and it has strongly influenced the way you related to other people. It has made you independent with no need to rely on others for support. But in the kingdom of heaven dependence is an essential element to unity and success.

“So now, Peter the great fishing champion, I am going to reassign you to a radically different challenge that you feel completely unfitted for, maybe even have personally despised. I am asking you to be one of those land-lubber, soft hearted, tender and caring people called shepherds. Yes, you heard me right. You are no longer going to round up and trap your victims and force them into compliance. You are going to learn to listen to and live from your heart. You will learn to attract and lead instead of deceive and drive. You, with your deeply wounded heart, are now in healing transition and will have new ability and discernment to relate to the weakest and most vulnerable around you with new compassion, humility and love. You will now become the leader of my people, just like the shepherd Moses was so long ago. As I leave, you are now much better suited and equipped through this experience of humiliation and pain to relate to my sheep, my children, the way I do, and the way I have always treated you.”

Jesus' first question involved Peter's strong attachment to his personal success and occupation. “Peter, do you love me more than these?” He said as He looked over at the gleaming pile of large fish. The word that Jesus used for love asked Peter if he loved Jesus with complete, noble, selfless love like Jesus had for Peter. But Peter in his pain and humiliation could not allow him to claim any longer that he was a confident, loyal comrade of Jesus. He was not even sure himself what to make of all the confusing emotions swirling around within him right now. He had to honestly confess that he could only claim to have a human friendship-type love for Jesus. And so playing it safe he responded, “You know that I care about you as a friend.” He now was much more cautious about his self-analysis than ever before.

Jesus accepted his answer and immediately said, “Feed and care for My lambs.” This was Peter's first clue as to his new place and function that Jesus had in store for him.

A second time Jesus turned to Peter and asked the same question, “'Simon, son of John, do you love Me?' He said to Him, 'Yes, Lord; You know that I have fond feelings for You.' He said to him, 'Shepherd My sheep.'”

This second time Jesus did not refer to Peter's old occupation. He evidently accepted Peter's first answer as meaning that Jesus really was more important to him than his past identity as a rugged fisherman. By this time Peter was feeling very vulnerable and very much in touch with his shame and remorse. He still would not trust his heart to lay claim for himself that level of selfless love to Jesus no matter how much he wished he could. He believed his heart had let him down, had deceived him and caused him to commit high treason against his best friend and against God Himself. Jesus was touching his heart at the most painful place possible and in front of the others watching and listening to every word. There was no escaping this moment. He had to face the memories, the pain and shame. But there was not a better place to do it than in the comforting, accepting, loving presence of his dearest friend and the only One who had the power to restore his heart. The process was becoming excruciating, but the healing was also having its effect and Peter stayed with it.

When Jesus directed Peter to “feed my lambs”, He was not just leading Peter to a totally opposite and foreign way of life but was leading him to focus on the weakest and most vulnerable ones within the community. Now after Peter's second response Jesus broadened His directive to include the whole scope of the shepherd's responsibility. Not only should he look after all the sheep – the older as well as the younger – but he was to be a shepherd himself, not just a helper feeding only the lambs. In fact, Jesus was asking Peter to a great degree to step into His own shoes and take over much of His duties on earth as Jesus left to take on greater duties in heaven. They were to be linked together in nurturing, protecting and growing the flock of God, each from his unique location.

But when after a few minutes of quietness and discomfort, Jesus spoke the same words to Peter again, it was simply more than his bleeding heart could withstand. This time Jesus picked up the response that Peter had now twice given Him, avoiding the deeper word for love that Jesus had used.

“Simon, son of John, do you really even care about Me as a friend as you say?”

Grief ripped through Peter's soul reminding him of that awful moment at the fire in the courtyard when Jesus looked at him with such pity and sympathy right after his last denial with curses and profanity. His wound was now lanced and wide open, the puss was pouring out and there was no longer anything to hold back. As Peter looked inside himself he realized there was nothing of any value that he could produce within himself that was worth offering to Jesus. All he could do was throw himself on the mercy and love of this God that Jesus had been revealing to him and let Him look for Himself into Peter's heart to find whatever He wanted there.

Remembering how Jesus was so good at looking right into people's souls so easily, Peter decided to simply let Jesus find the answer to His own question. “Lord, you know everything; you know that I care about you.”

Jesus responded one last time with the instruction to “Feed My sheep”. It was now very clear now that Peter was no longer to be a fisherman. Not only did Jesus restore Peter to a full-fledged disciple in front of the others erasing all questions in their minds; He made it crystal clear that Peter's new identity would take the shape of a shepherd. Inherent in God's commands are the power to do them when one is in relationship with Him. And although Peter knew very little about sheep or lambs, he knew that he could trust Jesus for whatever would come in his future.

The process of Peter's restoration did involve three public affirmations of allegiance and love to renounce and refute his previous three denials. But even more importantly, Jesus was teaching Peter that the bed-rock foundation of all effective ministry to others is passionate love for Jesus with no dependence on self. This love would spring from a reservoir of the personal experience of forgiveness and grace poured into his soul by his Saviour and God. Jesus called Peter to be a shepherd, the opposite in many respects to fishing, so that Peter would have to live in total and constant reliance on the One who was the expert in this unfamiliar field.

Another important point that should not be missed is the three times that Jesus addressed Peter as “son of John”. Peter's perception of his identity was intrinsically tied to his father and all that that implied. Like their ancestor Jacob, Peter's identity had been a source of fear and shame for most of his life. He had developed a rugged life-style and a rough exterior to mask the hurt from family and society that had been accumulated over a lifetime. After all, fishermen were definitely in the lower echelons of society when compared to Pharisees and priests and politicians. Over the past three years Peter had been amazed and had at times even become a bit heady as he was identified with Jesus who seemed completely unfazed by the oppressive class system pervasive in society. He watched as Jesus went head on head against the brightest minds in the country and never failed to have an answer that baffled or enraged them. He always seemed to know just what to say no matter how difficult the question was or how crafty his enemies were. This was potential for quite a head-trip for a low-class fisherman.

But now Jesus reminded Peter of where his real perception of his own identity really lay. “Son of John” directly linked Peter to all the failures and problems passed on to him by his Dad. But it was an important part of the healing process that Jesus could not pass by. Jesus wanted Peter to realize that his true identity did not lie in the failures and propensities passed on to him through his father, but that his real identity and value could only be discovered in the presence of the One who had designed him originally and had created him to be something and someone he had never dreamed of becoming.

Peter was now introduced to his future. Jesus lifted from his heart all the pain and humiliation and shame and filled him with true humility and a deep resonating sense of gratitude and overflowing love. His fears were melted away once again by the forgiveness and compassion of this amazing God who never failed to surprise him with the extravagance of His love and passion. If this was what God is really like, then Peter was willing to let Him have full control of his life from this point forward.