Pulling Weeds

I had a good talk with someone very close to me last night. She related that while enjoying a Christian concert she was musing over the dissonance between what was being sung and her own feelings. She has believed for a long time that life was not worth living really and has struggled with negative feelings for much of her life. Suddenly she felt a strong impression that simply said, “You know that's a lie, don't you?”

She was caught by surprise by this thought, partly because she has known that intellectually for a very long time but has been unable to believe it with her heart. I am praising God for this evidence of His work in her heart that is in part His answer to my many prayers for her. I suppose that this discussion brought back to my mind the issue of lies embedded deep within us that form the basis for the false gods that operate in our heads.

As I pondered about this concept this morning another idea came into my thinking that may seem to many to be a misapplication of Scripture, but it may contain a lot more truth than first thought if it is considered without prejudice.

First it would probably do well to very briefly review a little of what I have been learning about this over the past few years from various sources. In summary, I have learned that demonic influences, whether possession, harassment, or just false gods (don't make me define and discriminate between all of these just yet) all derive their access to our minds by one door only – lies within us that give them permission to operate.

When this very important principle is understood it radically changes the way we may approach dealing with them and even threatens to unravel many large ministries oriented around their focus on demons and different methods of deliverance. When it is seen that the real problem is the inner lies more than the presence of demons then, for effective ministry, we can shift our focus to dealing with the foundational problems and begin to see permanent freedom and victory.

There is a certain stigma associated with demons and their influence or control in a person's life. Many do not even want to acknowledge their existence because of this and others, while admitting that it may be a problem somewhere else or at a different time in history choose to believe that people today in a more enlightened society are generally not bothered by such uncivilized notions.

On the other hand I have seen others who seem to see demons everywhere they look and are eager to “exercise their gifts” to perform all sorts of rituals or methods to cast them out every chance they get. However, it has seemed to me that very often these people appear to be trying to draw more attention to themselves and their abilities to fight the supernatural than they are bringing glory to God's reputation, even though they claim to operate in His name. (see Matt. 7:21-23)

The important point is that it is the lies that we still believe in our HEARTS that allow these various problems to continue to thrive and exist within our minds. It is not so much the intellectual lies we may believe, although they can be a contributing factor, but it is the lies we received during experiences particularly in our formative years that have the most affect on us. These lies cannot be simply dispensed by confronting ourselves or each other with factual truth. Fact-based truth may be ever so true, but it is primarily left-brain, intellectual truth and does not register in the right brain where the real problem lies remain embedded. Those lies were received usually during times of trauma or intense emotion and can only be addressed effectively by the Spirit of God speaking to our soul directly.

Sometimes I believe He uses new experiences that find access through emotional channels to reopen to parts of our memory to expose these lies and challenge them. Sometimes He may speak directly to those memories and speak the truth into them. Whatever happens, we are faced with a choice in a moment of truth to decide whether we will cling to those lies as being the true definition of our identity or whether we will release them in exchange for real truth and embrace the real identity that God has in mind for us.

Now that I have attempted to lay the background for my understanding in this area I will share the idea that came to me this morning. It has to do with one of the parables of Jesus found in Matthew 13.

“Jesus presented another parable to them, saying, 'The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went away. But when the wheat sprouted and bore grain, then the tares became evident also. The slaves of the landowner came and said to him, “Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?” And he said to them, “An enemy has done this!” The slaves said to him, “Do you want us, then, to go and gather them up?” But he said, “No; for while you are gathering up the tares, you may uproot the wheat with them. Allow both to grow together until the harvest; and in the time of the harvest I will say to the reapers, 'First gather up the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them up; but gather the wheat into my barn.'”'” (Matthew 13:24-30)

I am well aware of the normal understanding and interpretation of this parable and in no way am trying to challenge that. At the same time I believe that many parables as well as prophecies have more than one application. I wonder if this parable may have application in the area of an individual person's mind as well as the larger application to the church as a whole? As I observe my own life and how God seems to be working with me, I see great significance in this story in my experience.

The field represents my heart, part of my mind, where, especially during my growing up years “His men were sleeping” on the job as far as protecting my heart from damage. During some of the abuse and neglect done to my spirit during those days the enemy implanted seeds of lies deep into my soul that caused me to believe they were my identity. These seeds appeared, in the early stages of growth and in an externals-emphasized religious atmosphere, to be quite similar to true religion and were usually affirmed as such. I could itemize these various seeds but right now I haven't taken the time to identify them in particular though I can generally see many of them. They have to do with fitting in to church life and looking good and conforming so that others praise me for being a “good Christian”. But they were springing out of the seeds of lies about myself and about God that had been planted in my “field”. It is now becoming more evident that indeed “an enemy has done this!”

Then comes the time when the differences start to become more noticeable. What used to appear very pious and righteous now starts to appear in its true light, full of pride, fear, low self esteem and secretly trying to appease an angry or temperamental God. This may sound harsh, but it is the reality for many of us now discovering the roots of our life-long religious activities and behaviors. Now comes the time when we have to decide what we are going to do about these deeply embedded lies and the resulting “weeds” that they have produced in our lives.

Our first impulse is to take strong action and uproot these weeds from our souls. We are ashamed of what they have done in our hearts and are afraid of what others will think of us if they discover all these problems in us. We are afraid of being exposed and even enter into some confusion as to who we really are. Viewing our “field” within us we wonder sometimes if we are really Christians or are we just pretenders with a lot of nice fruit mixed in with a lot of hypocrisy and evil character traits. We are tempted to give up in despair and believe yet another lie of the enemy that there is no hope for us or that we are not good enough to be a Christian.

But those who determine to continue the struggle and want to have a clean field with only plants of true quality in them find themselves in a dilemma. They discover that uprooting these lies can create real upheaval in their hearts as the lies have strong roots intertwined with the roots of truth in their hearts. As we try to forceably remove these lies from the outside either in ourselves or in others, we find that often we cause more damage than success. It is now that we need to consider the wisdom of the counsel from the Master, “Allow both to grow together until the harvest; and in the time of the harvest I will say to the reapers, 'First gather up the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them up; but gather the wheat into my barn.'”

What does this mean in our experience? I cannot give a complete answer right now. I am still in the process of processing this. But I sense that there is a great deal to learn here in how to effectively deal with hearts, both others and our own. Some things seem to be evident here though. Allowing the lies to mature to the point that they become obvious before they are dealt with may have some benefit, whatever that may be. Secondly, it may be important to involve God's agents under His direct supervision to deal with these at the right time. From what I have observed this may be simply God speaking directly to our heart at a unique time when I least expect it. Or it may mean an intense ministry session with a person or group of people who are simply there to facilitate an atmosphere where God has freedom to work without coercion. It may happen during times of personal prayer or public worship or a concert that touches our emotions and releases the grip of the roots. Whatever form it takes, it must be in God's timing Who knows our hearts and when the weeds are ripe for removal.

This may help me in my own struggle as I have wondered what I am supposed to do as I recognize the various false gods circulating in my own mind. I accept that it is important to first recognize them and maybe even identify them, especially to distinguish them as not really being my true identity as they have always asserted. But many of them still remain, and I am sometimes tempted to wonder if it is wrong for me to still find myself in this condition. This parable reminds me that while I am impatient to uproot these false gods that are becoming more and more evident in my life, that God has His plan for my complete deliverance at the right times and by the right means. This does not mean I can sit back and continue to embrace the lies and allow them to flourish. I will continue to challenge them and pray for deliverance and resist they lying voices inside of me. I must continue to discover my true identity in Christ and who I really was created to be. I continue to crave more blessing and more truth and want to strengthen the legitimate plants growing in my soul. And when God shows up to pull up another weed I want to fully cooperate no matter how painful the uprooting may feel. I want to see the joy on His face as He looks into my soul and sees His reflection that most often I cannot yet see there. I choose to let Him do what He does best in His time.