Empty Words

What is really going on in our corporations, churches and other organizations in all of the motivational training, management consultants and marketing fads? We hire the latest gurus with the latest lingo and fine-sounding verbiage that they have uncovered as publicly recognized symptoms of integrity. Then they teach us to memorize and parrot the new company slogans and clichè's and insist that we conform our communications to the latest pretension for success.

However, this is all done primarily as an external exercise to create the appearances of integrity and hopefully convince the customers, onlookers, potential converts etc. that we are the real thing, that we have it all figured out, that we have the best system in the world. Great emphasis is put on conformity and cooperation and appearances, but very little attention is paid to inward character, accurate disclosure and transparent honesty. In fact a great deal of effort is put into PR – image management to carefully camouflage all our imperfections, mistakes and downright deceptions. We are building a wonderful looking facade on unstable foundations of sand.

When I starts to become apparent and widespread that our words and catch phrases are in fact meaningless and shallow, the pundits are ready with another fresh round of programs, slogans and clichè's to merchandise to us. This is really part of the great and long-running campaign of Satan to render all words meaningless and all people mindless. It is in concert with his fundamental strategy of control through deception.

This tactic emphasizes the supremacy of external appearances above all else and at all costs. And the cost soon becomes apparent – it is our souls and our integrity and even our value for truth itself. It deceives us into believing that we can expect others to believe our words which in fact are calculated to deceive. But we eventually start losing sight of the fact that we are being deceitful and begin wondering why others have less and less confidence in us. It becomes more difficult to accurately communicate with others as our words slowly lose all their power and effectiveness.

About this time we then resort to a different tactic to get our way, to control others and look out for ourselves. We turn to threats and intimidation and then try to use force to back up our new vocabulary. But while these words may be true to a greater extent than our empty promises, we have long since abandoned integrity itself and have come very close to losing our souls completely to the disease of Meaninglessness.

Tragedy Stikes

I just received a phone call a little while ago that my daughter's father-in-law was killed in a diving accident while he and her husband were diving together today down in the Florida Keys. We talked to her a few minutes ago and she says her husband is blaming himself and is really falling apart. They were down there this week for vacation and it has turned into a very traumatic event for them. I would like to invite anyone reading this to take a little time to pray for God's presence and comfort for them. As I thought about this I realized that it was one year ago yesterday that my own Dad died at home with us, though it was very expected unlike this tragedy today. But just a few years before that my Mom was killed in a car accident that put me into a few days of sleeplessness and numbness so I think I can relate to their feelings at least a little bit. I have been covering his paper route until they get back but I think I may need to do it a little longer since he may not be recovered enough yet when they get back home to be able to handle it. Arrangements have not been made yet, but we expect the funeral will probably be next week sometime and will be held in Illinois.

Three Crosses

The three crosses represent the triune aspects of a human being created in the image of a triune God. The violent, angry, cursing thief on one side represents our sinful flesh that dwells inside us and compulsively urges us toward sin and away from life and God. Jesus on the next cross represents the new nature, the new heart that God implants in us that is perfect and untainted in motives and desires. The third cross represents our will which is choosing which of the other two he will embrace and join. He starts out with the fallen attitude of the flesh but the longer he observes the compassion and forgiveness and holiness of Jesus under overwhelming pressure and abuse from the flesh and all of Satan's forces, he is forced to decide whether to accept His grace and cast himself on God's mercy or to join the flesh in accusing God for all the suffering and injustice around him.

Cost of Raising a Son

As heard on the BBC this morning in a letter from one of their listeners responding to a previous broadcast-

A very wealthy man asked his father how much it cost to raise him. At first the father did not bother to give him an answer as he did not think the son was serious. But over ensuing time the son became very insistent that his father let him know how much it cost to raise him. When asked why he wanted to know, the son said that he did not want to be bothered or have anything to do with a matter after he had paid off a debt.

So one day the father was sitting outside the very luxurious home of his son and his son repeated the question. After thinking for a while and giving it very careful consideration the father asked the son, “What's that?”

The son replied, “That's a bicycle.”

The father repeated, “What's that?”

The son again said, “That's a bicycle, can't you see?”

The father again asked, “What's that?”

The son began to get irritated at this point. After several more repetitions of the same question by his father the son was ready to scream.

Later on when the son was entertaining visitors in his spacious living room and his wife was working in the kitchen, the old man went down to the pond and put both his feed into the mud. Then he walked into the house tracking the mud everywhere even though the wife had just cleaned everything. The man went into several bedrooms and even put his muddy feet on the beds.

A little later the wife came out of the kitchen and noticed the muddy footprints on her freshly cleaned floors. She followed them to discover the old man playing on their bed with his muddy feet. She rushed to her husband in the living room and exclaimed, “Has you father gone mad?”

At this the son became very agitated and asked his father what in the world he was doing. At this, the father replied, “I am just trying to show you how much it cost to raise you because you wanted to know.”

Just then the visitors turned to the son with amazement and asked, “Did you really ask your father that question?”

Why Is It So Hard For Me To Smile?

Warning! Sensitive material ahead. Handle with care.

As I contemplated this morning where I might go for Sabbath School and church, I considered my feelings that come up every time I am faced with this choice. I am also thinking about what my wife told me last night about Bruce's methods to connect with his daughter by smiling and touching. As usual, I would like to get to the bottom issue inside me and get it healed and resolved instead of spinning my wheels trying to manage symptoms.

Thinking about where to attend, I sense an intense desire to find a group of people who are glad I am with them, where I can participate and contribute and receive and fellowship. I cannot ever remember experiencing that very much, but I think hundreds of people around here may be feeling the same way. I have visited various churches and classes for many years around here with repeated disappointment. Yes, I know many will insist that church should be about what we can give and not focused on what we can get out of it. But somehow that answer is very old and feels very canned. I really wonder how much those people that spout off that response are in tune with their own hearts and honest about their own needs. There is a kernel of truth in that statement but it leaves a lot out of the context.

As I think back over my whole lifetime of attending churches and various classes around the country, I still cannot remember feeling really connected anywhere. I do remember the intense desire to be connected and feel a part of an organic system of seekers and growers. Sure there have been variations in the places we have been. Some have been much more promising than others, some have been much more suffocating than others, but will we ever experience real community like we were designed for? Simply rationalizing away this desire does not make it go away. It is intrinsic to our being, to the very design of our creation. We cannot escape this desire no matter how much we deny it, repress it or abuse it. We were created for bonding relationships in community where we can forever grow, learn, connect, celebrate, receive and give life. This is one of the main reasons for the plan of salvation (salvage), to restore us into fellowship with God and with each other.

So I accept that my desire is legitimate and was put there by God. I need to value it and come to terms with it. But I still am stymied as to practically know just what to do about it. There are plenty of counterfeits that present themselves to satisfy this deepest craving, but they are like junk food. They may bring pleasure and appear to satisfy my needs for a short time but they come with a price that leaves me more empty than before, sort of like caffeine. I want the real thing, whatever that is and wherever it is. But where and how do I find it?

The other thing that my mind pondered this morning was the need to smile at those I love. I know this sounds ridiculously dumb, but I have had a block in this part of my makeup for most all of my life. As I think back on the times when I have been confronted about this a pattern began to emerge. Most of the time when people wanted to “fix” this problem of mine they resorted to shaming me, thinking that that would motivate me to correct my problem and start being more smiling and pleasant. They would make remarks like, “What's wrong with your face? Are you afraid it will break if you smile?” And then they would laugh, and inside I would cringe, become angry and withdraw even deeper into my shell. Obviously these people, no matter how related they were to me or how “good” their intentions may have been, had no idea of the effect their words were having on me.

So maybe, in my subconscious arena, smiling is always associated with shame unfortunately. Especially deliberate smiling, intentional smiling that is designed to elicit a response from others. Inside it feels disingenuous and hypocritical. Since for me it has to be forced and is also associated with shame and dishonesty, it seems like an insurmountable blockage in my spirit to get past, even to this day much later in life. It is such an issue inside of me that I even sometimes have difficulty smiling for pictures, though that has become easier over the years. On the other hand, I feel like my external expressions – my voice tone, my face, my gestures – have been hijacked by some internal false god that refuses to relinquish control until I uncover the lie that grants it it's authority to be here and replace that lie with the liberating truth about myself and about God. Of course, this is not going to happen by an intellectual exercise and a witch hunt rummaging around in my memories. I need heart-level healing and I need it soon. This issue reflects badly back on God's reputation of His work in my life. But I refuse to just do a surface fix to make Him look better. I want Him to come in and do a thorough work that will be permanent and set me free forever.

Does part of that process involve trying to smile anyway even though it feels fake at times? Probably. Where do I find the initiative to even do that? I think it is somewhere available either from outside or inside or both. It sure seems to me that it would be much easier to deal with this obstacle if I were involved in the dynamics of a real community of people who cared about each other and could “provoke” each other to love and good works as is referred to in Hebrews 10:24. I think I would like that kind of provocation – I think. I certainly know I need it. I also think it would be much more effective if it was not done with a spirit of shaming or condemnation or demeaning. But when that might ever happen is still a mystery to me.

These are just reflections on what is chasing around in my head right now. I think it is healthy and maybe contributes to growth to acknowledge them and express them. That doesn't mean I have answers for them yet. Or is it even “answers” that I need? What I really desire is mentoring. That's how the right brain learns, not by instruction and verbal formulas, but by watching and sensing how a more mature person responds and relates in similar circumstances and under similar pressures. I need more joy. I want more joy. I also want to be a better source of joy to others.