Hallmark Love

10-15-05

We have almost finished a week without TV except for a little 3ABN mostly for Dad. I feel a sense of relief, not that the week is over but that my heart-hearing is starting to awaken a little. I sense that huge events may be about to break on the world and I need to have a much closer connection to God to be ready. I was beginning to realize that TV, especially Hallmark fare, was not just a distraction and interference to my ability to stay connected with God, but sometimes it even brought in Satanic influence that would attach itself in my imagination and tie up my mind for days so I could not hear God's thoughts and feelings and messages.

I believe God sent us to this semi-isolated place to give us opportunity to hear His voice more clearly and have time to mature in grace. But in Dad's case isolation was used to cultivate and simmer in a critical spirit until it poisoned not only him but the whole local church and his family as well. I too am battling the same issue. It is becoming more apparent to me that I share his weakness in that area. In fact, the better my picture of God becomes the more disgusting becomes the bigotry and tradition I see all around me. That is good. But how I then react to this revelation of narrow-mindedness and lies about God can either grow me or destroy the effectiveness of the very truths that revealed the problems.

If I understand all mysteries, have all knowledge and can explain all prophecies but have not love I am empty and pointless. (1 Cor. 13) The sword of the Spirit is only as sharp as the love it has and displays. I desperately need that. I want love as my primary motivation, not the Hallmark version but the Heavenly version. I want and crave a full conversion of heart as well as a more perfect and accurate picture of God. The two are inter-related I know, but I want not only my head understanding but my heart to be healed or replaced with a new one, whichever it takes. God be merciful to me a sinner!