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But Jesus does not address this issue in the slightest. He does not try to disabuse them of their doubts or even chide them for the typical unbelief as He had done on previous occasions. At this point He simply fellowships with them, shares food, warmth and the beauty of another glorious sunrise over the lake. They listen to the waves lapping against the shore and finally some of them gather and began to count the fish. Usually they counted and sorted, but this time there was nothing to sort out. Every fish was a perfect specimen of a champion catch. They carefully documented that they had brought in 153 large fish. This would go down in the history books for sure. But now they began realizing that maybe the history of fishing was not the important point here anymore. Rapidly their priorities were being challenged and there was a lot of internal rearranging going on.
Peter, especially, is still trying to wrap his mind around what is going on here. His heart is a roiling cauldron of raw emotions, like shame soup that he can't climb out of. But at the same time he feels a powerful sense of attraction and an unexplainable sense of hope growing inside. He is confused, conflicting emotions struggling for control, but at the same time he is beginning to experience that peace only found in the presence of Jesus that he had been so desperate for the past few days. Now he realized that this peace was essential to life, not just a nice idea to enjoy once in a while. He realized finally that this was one of the deepest cravings of his heart; peace that extended all the way to the mystical depths of his being.
“Jesus comes and takes the bread and gives it to them, and the fish likewise.” (John 21:13) Once again, the writer of this story, John, makes a very noticeable effort to remind us that this story is strongly linked to nearly all the events of their previous lives together. The very wording of this phrase takes one immediately back to the event they had experienced just a few days earlier in the upper room together when Jesus had warned them of what they were about to do in forsaking Him.
“While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, 'Take, eat; this is My body.' And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, 'Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father's kingdom.'” (Matthew 26:26-29 NAS95)
Now, here by the lake with a small group of his closest friends, Jesus gets as close to repeating that previous special meal they had had together as He could. And while He kept His promise that He would never again drink the juice until they were together in His Father's kingdom, he could still break bread with them and share some “large” fish steaks.
At this point Jesus had assembled all the elements of Peter's life together in one simple scene, both past and present. All of their senses were filled with the sounds, sights and smells of fishing. There was the boat, the net and the smell of fish. They could hear the lapping of the water against the sides of the nearby boat and on the shore. The warming morning breeze wafted in the rich smells of the outdoors that they so much loved, and even the BO from the odd assortment of seven men who had just wrestled a very large load of fish ashore from 100 yards out in the water. These all represented the occupation and passion that had dominated most of Peter's life until now.
There was also assembled some of the reminders of his infamous night of shame and horror. There was the charcoal fire, now burning down to some glowing embers in the morning sun. There was the face of Jesus nearby that had so recently been beaten and slapped and spit on. Peter could never erase that moment from his mind as long as he lived. Just when he had denied knowing Jesus for the third time with violent fisherman-style profanities, his eyes had been drawn upward to see Jesus in the balcony looking at him with eyes of deepest compassion and sorrow but unfailing love Just at that moment Peter saw a coarse hand raised to violently slap that loving face of his dearest friend that he had just denied and his heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces and he crashed through the courtyard gate and flung himself to the ground in the garden they had just recently left. He had never cried like that since he had been born. But then, he had never know such strange love that refused to condemn him or let go of its passionate pursuit of his heart.
And besides these other reminders, there was also John, his old fishing buddy who had enjoyed all the years with Jesus together in close intimacy with Jesus. He and John had been the only ones who had ventured into the courtyard on that fateful night; the other disciples had all split for parts unknown. But their parts had played out quite differently that night. While John's heart was full of pain about what was happening to his dearest friend, he just found he had to be as close as possible through every minute of this horrible trauma. He had been a first-hand witness to Peter's most public spectacle of colorful denial, but instead of feeling angry he seemed a little baffled as to what was going on inside Peter to cause him to do such a thing. Nevertheless, now by the lakeside, Peter saw his friend John as a potential damaging witness against him if there was a confrontation about what had happened.
But Jesus takes all these reminders of Peter's failure and and weaves them together with the colors of the rising sun, the sounds of the lapping waves and the smell of the nearby fish and turns the whole event into something of a communion service again. He offers them the bread along with His own broken body for their healing and restoration – an open invitation for Peter to exchange his shame for the passion of Jesus love and value for him.
But there were also reminders of so many of the good times with Jesus around them as well. Here they were again eating bread and fish, miraculously provided by Jesus for the third time in their lives together. He couldn't help remembering the sudden change in emotions they had all experienced when their concern and fears about how to deal with thousands of very hungry people turned to amazement and delight as they were designated to participate in dispensing the extravagant generosity of God. Jesus had given them that job to remind them that though they were thinking small even in their large estimation of how much money it would take to feed all those people, Jesus was always thinking of something much bigger and more thrilling than their imagination could ever come up with. And the second time it happened they were even more amazed, for Jesus performed the same miracle again, only this time is was for a crowd made up largely of people who were not Jews, not of God's chosen people. This baffled the disciples and challenged their very restrictive God mentality they had grown up with as Jews.
Both of these miracles had been instances where Jesus had brought satisfaction for people's immediate needs. Peter and the others however, had misinterpreted these incidents as opportunities to force Jesus to become their earthly king. They had been influenced by the spirit of Judas and his suggestions. Ah, Judas! That was another very regretful memory for all of them. They had spent far too much time admiring Judas' obvious skills and public poise, believing that his worldly expertise would be a powerful asset to this disparate group of men following Jesus. Judas always had such good-sounding advice and they were often baffled as to why Jesus almost never seemed impressed. It had been a constant source of confusion for them. And it was not until the very last night when Judas' true colors were exposed that they realized that they had been very misled in their estimation of Judas and all his education and political expertise. They then begin to realize that it was not skill or education or influence that was important but it was the condition of one's spirit that made all the difference when the crisis came.
Another reminder of the events of their past life with Jesus was the miracle of filling Peter's net full of fish while at the same time preserving the net from breaking. This reminded Peter of the very first time Jesus had called him to come join his life with Jesus and enjoy companionship with Him. He began to recall that day several years ago that now seemed like so much longer. Jesus had first blessed Peter with an amazing catch of fish and then promptly called him away from that whole life of fishing to do something he had no idea or experience how to do. But the adventure and the thrill of something deep within him had responded to Jesus' invitation and he had taken the risk. And what a trip it had turned out to be!
If Peter was now beginning to piece all of these familiar memories together, he might have begun to have an inkling of what might be coming next – another call aimed straight at his heart. Even in the invitation to breakfast the words reminded Peter of the past.
“Come” – a direct reminder of His invitation to everyone with heavy hearts and burdens of shame to come to Jesus and experience relief and true rest.
“Have breakfast. Fellowship with Me. I want you to be with me, to be full-fledged friends again. I miss you. I want to connect to your heart again.”
