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There is a spiritual principle that I just learned about while reading a book. It makes a great deal of sense and fits very well with all the other principles I have been discovering over the past few years. It is also very frightening for I see its effects far too much in my own life. It has to do with resistance, a concept that has been the key for helping me understand the truth about hell.
But this new principle has opened my mind to another dimension of this issue. It even ties in to a dream I had a couple months ago and gives me new insight on that.
Imagine yourself maybe in a group of people, maybe enjoying yourself in animated conversation, or maybe more like myself you may be a little apart from the group just observing what others are doing and busy with your own thoughts.
Suddenly someone comes along and seizes you by the hand and tries to move you to another group while urging and pleading with you to, say, join a game that is about to start. Now for this illustration to work, you are really not nearly so interested in this new opportunity you are being urged to join as you are in what you are presently doing. There could be any number of reasons for not wanting to leave like fear, lack of interest, intensity of relationships etc. But you are very insistent on not leaving as much as the other person is insistent on trying to drag you to the next room.
Now here is the point of all this scenario as strange as it may sound at first. When someone is physically trying to pull you in a direction you do not want to go, you are required to use a number of various muscles to resist that pulling force on your body. Now we are well aware that when you use muscles they tend to be strengthened. Let's say that the above scenario happens on a very regular basis. Your friend tries to pull you and you are holding back.
After a few days of this insistent activity those muscles used for resisting would begin to get stronger and harder. At the same time the other muscles that you are not using that you could use to to actually go with that person are beginning to weaken from lack of use.
In parallel to this, your emotional muscles just happen to be experiencing the very same affects, but not as physically obvious. As you repeatedly practice resistance you r emotional habits become deeper and deeper ingrained. And all of the unused emotional “muscles” over time begin to atrophy and become enfeebled.
But I noticed something about this situation that easily crosses the boundaries between physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions of our lives. When certain muscles are used very much they become harder and harder. We may become very unbalanced because we focus so much on certain ones and ignore many others completely. This can happen in our spirit and mind just as easily if not more so than with our body. I wonder if the result of this process is the heart of stone that is talked about in Ezekiel 36?
When we are drawn and pulled by the beauty and truth about God and we cling to our old familiar beliefs and traditions that we are comfortable with, we have to exercise emotional and spiritual resistance to counteract that drawing power. We may assemble proof texts and compile enormous quantities of quotations to buttress our positions. But in the end we may be appalled to discover we were only turning our hearts into petrified stones that had only the appearance of a functional heart. The greater the revelation of glory, the more resistance is required to maintain our position. We may very sincerely believe we are “standing strong” in defense of “the truth”, but in actuality we are standing in resistance to growing into a deeper knowledge of God. In Jesus' comments about judgment day, God does argue or deny the claims of those who insist they have performed everything correctly. He simply states, “I never knew you”. (Matt. 7:21-23)
Sadly and ironically, it seems that the most effective tool that hardens a heart is religion itself. Religion has caused more havoc on this earth than anything else. Religion is used to justify wars, promote bigotry and prejudice, and repress emotional expression thereby causing untold damage and confusion. I am just beginning to see some of the damage in my own life and my family from years of emotional avoidance and self-deception. Much of it was conditioned by the atmosphere of my childhood but that has continued to deepen and harden throughout most of my life.
I am realizing now that my inability to receive and give love has shaped most of my personality and history. I have very seldom even allowed myself to acknowledge many of my emotions, much less share them with anyone else without fear or blame. But practicing this is one of the essential ingredients for living in reality and I am just now discovering I have hardly ever done it. In fact, I have noticed many times that now when I do try to share my real emotions with someone else that most of the physical muscles in my body will begin to harden, tense up and eventually lock up. The longer it continues I will begin to tremble and if I still continue to share occasionally it even becomes difficult to breath. I am beginning to wonder if this is an outward manifestation of a possible inward heart of stone.
What is frightening about this principle of hardening by resistance is that I see myself practicing it much of the time. It is a major part of my personality and my perceived identity. It is how I shield and protect myself, but it is also what isolates and quarantines me away from connecting with other hearts. In the end it will disqualify me for participation in the body of Christ if I am not freed from this mode of thinking.
The good news is also in Ezekiel 36. God says He will exchange my stone-hardened heart for one of flesh. As I understand it, a flesh heart is movable, soft and flexible. Flesh can experience feelings and a heart can be honest about emotions. A unique feature of real hearts is that they have the ability to literally synchronize themselves to another heart when they come into close proximity. And as I understand it, God has great plans to do just that very thing in ways I've never dreamed of.
