Jacob's False god

I read Isaiah 43 this morning listening for what God wanted to tell me. But as I read I noted that there was the familiar resistance embedded in my heart to really believing that these words apply to me personally. I want to believe them but I have to be honest and admit that there is yet a lot of unbelief inside of me discounting many things God wants to implant deep into my heart.

God is trying to answer my prayers to know my true identity. But then when He says things to show me my true identity I feel unable to receive them fully. That is what is going on as I read this chapter. It reminds me very much of Jacob (mentioned at the beginning of this chapter) who spent a great deal of his life grasping for a sense of value, desiring to be respected and loved but usually going about it the wrong way and ending up in deep relational troubles.

The poor guy – he started out with this reputation from before he was even born. He was found to be fighting with his brother inside of Rebekah's womb. His mother couldn't understand what all the commotion was about so she went to God and asked Him what was going on inside. God shared with her some insights as to the future relationships between her two sons as well as their future descendants. Unfortunately later on both her and Isaac allowed their personal preferences to aggravate the situation and caused a great deal of grief and pain for their whole family.

When Jacob was born he was still having it out with his brother. The Bible says that as Esau was being born Jacob was hanging on tightly to his ankle. He wouldn't even stop struggling long enough to allow his brother be born normally. The tension continued for the rest of their lives and can even be seen yet today in their descendants.

The name Jacob means supplanter and deceiver. How would I like to have a name like that? Talk about a weight to carry around emotionally all your life. With a name and reputation like that it is real hard to feel a sense of positive identity, of being valued by the family or by God. Jacob seemed to have the odds stacked against him from the very get-go and the story of his life demonstrates his life-long struggle to overcome this disadvantage.

But even though Jacob lived many years under the curse of a negative sense of identity, God had implanted a desire in his heart that he pursued, a desire to overcome this curse and discover something better for himself, his real destiny. To the outside world it appeared that he was messing up repeatedly and simply demonstrating the truth of his negative identity embedded in his name. But if one could see inside his heart, even past what he himself could see most of the time, it would be seen that he was really in pursuit of His parent's God and his Creator. What he craved was to replace this false sense of identity with the real truth about himself as seen from God's view. He wanted to feel respected, loved and valued instead of being a person who had to fight with others all the time to get what he needed.

Every time Jacob came to a crisis of identity he tried to figure it out for himself. Many times he resorted to sheer deception, which really was one of his supposed “natural” attributes ingrained in his flesh. Sometimes he would try religion and ask God to help him be successful. He would strike deals, try harder, get mad and be take advantage of. But all through the story one can sense a longing emanating from deep within for fulfillment and a better identity.

But it always appeared that the deck was somehow stacked against him. While his brother seemed to enjoy a wild sense of freedom and could seemingly do anything he set his mind to with abandon, Jacob's life seemed to be one comic tragedy after another. The harder he tried to make things work out right for him the worse things seemed to get in many ways. And always on the inside he was struggling to understand and make sense out of his distorted picture of God.

Why was it that his father could seemingly have such a straightforward, simple, confident relationship with his God while Jacob seemed to bumble from one crazy experience to the next? And while his brother could hardly care less about God while Jacob had an unusually sensitive heart that attracted the sympathy of his mother, his father Isaac always seemed to favor Esau over Jacob. This only added to the confusion in his heart. Isaac seemed enthralled with the wild spirit and adventurous escapades of his reckless and irreligious brother Esau while Jacob increasingly yearned for the blessing of his father that he so much needed but seemed so far away. And all of this in the face of the prophecy given to his mother before their birth that the older would serve the younger. That only seemed to add fuel to the fire.

Jacob inherently knew that he needed a blessing from his dad like every man needs it. He felt shamed and worthless when compared to the bold and macho accomplishments of his obviously masculine, tough brother. How much worse could a person feel? His brother only aggravated the tension by playing up their differences and basking in the favors of their father. Jacob became jealous, fearful and desperate and his mother shared to much in his perspective. As the years of his youth passed, Jacob felt the pain of rejection and fear and worthlessness deepen. He turned to his growing skills of manipulation, enhanced by the shared feelings of his mother who allowed her sympathy for him to separate her somewhat from her husband. The family became divided and the tensions continued to mount. But inside his heart Jacob yearned ever more intensely for that coveted blessing that would impart to him a valuable identity, and he yearned for it with a passionate hunger as intense as the instinct for life itself.

Jacob spent most of his life striving, working, manipulating, cutting deals in his attempt to find his real identity. But time after time, relationship after relationship, he was met with frustration, shame and deceit. As he tried to manipulate others he found himself manipulated. As he attempted to use deceit to get what he needed he was caught in others deceptions. He made bargains with God and with men only to have them come unraveled or circumvented. And by the time he found himself running away from his uncle with a house full of dysfunctional wives and crying children, facing the wrath of a powerful brother who could not let go of his grudge from Jacob's conniving tricks from their youth, Jacob felt he was at the very end of his rope. He had exhausted all of the tricks he could pull out of his bag. He had tried God, tried psychology, tried every means possible to look out for his interests, but inside his heart he was still an empty little boy yearning for the blessing that would impart a positive destiny and identity to him. He craved a dad's affirmation and approval but could never be good enough to earn it. And even though he had stolen what was supposed to be his father's blessing right out from under the nose of his profligate brother, he still could not feel the effects in his heart of that blessing that he wanted more than anything else.

Now he found himself facing all the results of all his messed-up attempts to establish his identity, all coalescing on him at the same time. His brother was coming to get even and potentially kill him. His uncle who could never be trusted and had tricked him out of one of the greatest desires of his heart, the father of his two wives (which was due to his uncle's trickery against him) was not far away after an ugly confrontation. His family was terrified of the mess Jacob had gotten them into, his children were fighting, whining and crying and Jacob's heart was still screaming out for something he just couldn't secure for himself. How much worse could it get?

Jacob had lived his whole life with a skewed picture of God just like I have. He had assumed like most people that he had to earn God's favor, respect and love. Like every male created by God, his greatest need was to feel respected and honored by others, but that was the least that he had ever accomplished. And like every human being he wanted to know that someone valued him, cared about him and believed in him even when the chips were down. But by this time in his life he had tried everything and absolutely nothing had worked out as he wanted it to. His conscience had tormented him for many years, his mind was exhausted trying to come up with yet another workable solution and his heart was amping up the decibels until he could hardly think of anything else.

Why did he still crave the blessing when supposedly he had gotten what he wanted from his father many years ago? Why was his brother so angry about that fiasco when Esau had ended up with all the material possessions of the family anyway? What did Esau care about the spiritual birthright that was part of the blessing? He didn't even care about God and was bold in flaunting a lifestyle in opposition to God's instructions.

Why was everything collapsing in Jacob's life all at the same time? Where was God right now anyway? Was that ladder that he had seen in his dream years ago now broken and out of commission? Had God failed him too? Was it his time to throw in the towel and give up the fight and surrender to death? A sense of immense hopelessness likely filled his mind as he begin to make preparations for the end.

He mentally prepared a list and made instructions to his family and servants to implement tactics to minimize the damage that was likely about to occur. He split up his family into groups and sent them off in different directions based on his own favoritism and preferences in hopes of avoiding losing all of them. He did the best he could to prepare the externals for the worst and then went off alone in the dark to find out where God might be hiding. It was his last, desperate attempt to reach out to God in hopes that God's faithfulness would be more reliable than his own.

Jacob's image of God in his mind and heart was reflective of the beliefs and choices that he had made throughout his own life. His mind believed that one had to earn the love and blessing of God just like he had been treated by his own father. And since Jacob could never even approximate the abilities and charisma that his brother possessed with their father he could never attract the heart attentions of his dad to fill the deep emptiness that haunted his own heart. And this same tension and distance between himself and his dad seemed to parallel how he was sure God felt about him. Everything he had tried to do to earn God' approbation had come apart and now it looked like there would be no more chances. This was likely the last night he would be alive and the last chance to get whatever it was that his heart could not rest without. He wanted a blessing, he needed a better identity, he craved a sense of belonging and value that he had never felt and he wanted it desperately.

As he stumbled through the dark agonizing in fear, in confusion, in loneliness and regret, in longing for someone to love him and just be with him, he suddenly felt arms wrapping themselves around him something like an embrace. Startled, his mind recoiled in terror and alarm and he instantly whirled around in a stance of defensiveness. All of his senses, muscles and emotions came to full alert and he launched himself into the fight of his life. He had no idea who this person was or what their intentions were but he was not about to let them take him out without a fight. He was surprised that he had even allowed them to sneak up on him like this. Why had he let his emotions become so distracting that he had not watched his back more carefully? Once again he had failed to protect himself and this time he threw everything he had into the battle.

If this “enemy” thought Jacob was a wimp he would find out very differently. Maybe it was Esau coming up with a surprise gorilla attack in the dark to get revenge. He assumed Esau still viewed him as the sniveling, weakling little brother who couldn't stand up for himself and was too chicken to fight like a man. Well, if that was the case then Esau would find out what all the years of hard work had done for Jacob's muscles. Jacob was toned and fit and had become a man's man now. He would show this intruder that he had learned to fight and was not afraid to show his stuff. And so the fight was on.

Being a very dark night Jacob could never get a glimpse of who this attacker was. While his emotions of fear pumped his body full of adrenaline and his mind moved quickly to come up with wrestling moves to outsmart this person, his heart was still screaming out in the background with desperation for the recognition and love that it wanted. But his external danger precluded taking time to pray and feel sorry for himself and he battled on all through the night. This guy was tough though, and Jacob seemed to make no headway in tiring him or out-maneuvering him. While Jacob tried every tactic of fighting known to him this stranger seemed to almost enjoy himself while tangling with Jacob's strong body. Something was very strange about this fight. This stranger was not fighting like anyone Jacob had ever encountered. He seemed to ignore Jacob's missteps and vulnerable moves that would have given a normal aggressor opportunity for advantage. And he seemed to be almost choosing to measure his strength to Jacob's and there was something else happening that was extremely strange.

All through the night as they wrestled, rolling around in the dirt and breathing in gasps and grunts, it seemed to Jacob that his heart was somehow dialogging with someone in a parallel fight to something similar with the external fight going on. He could almost hear internally a voice speaking to the assumptions in his soul and his heart arguing back. The inner fight was just as intense as the outer one and by morning Jacob was covered with sweat, dirt and blood while his inner fight was taking on a perspective of its own. Suddenly the two struggles merged into one as the faint light of dawn threatened to reveal the face of this stranger that intrigued Jacob's curiosity so much. With one simple light touch of His finger the Stranger dislocated Jacob's hip and suddenly Jacob's dislocated heart knew that this was God Himself that he was trying to man-handle.

But what Jacob later came to realize was that the real fight going on that night was Jacob's fight against the false picture of God in his heart and mind. He was rebelling against his perception of God as one who based His love on a person's performance that Jacob could never achieve. It was a fight against a god who refused to bless Jacob until he could get his act together and prove himself to be a real man worthy of God. It was a fight against a god who seemingly held grudges like his brother and threatened punishments for past mistakes. Jacob was fighting against a god that he could not bring himself to believe would forgive him, would bless him, would honor him and value him even though his heart craved all those things.

Jacob didn't realize that night that the real God of his fathers, the God that they had learned to know and appreciate, had come to give Jacob a hug and reveal His love and Jacob's value to him. He hadn't realized that God had not come to attack him but had come to be with him in his fear, his shame and his danger. God had come to him to fill that deep and intense, aching void in his heart that had increased over the years. God had come to personally impart to Jacob the blessing that his father had failed to relay so many years ago. God had come to become Jacob's real father but Jacob had reacted in fear due to his false image of God and so God had allowed him to fight it out all night long to exhaust all his attempts to earn love and respect. When Jacob was completely finished with his attempts to impress God, then God was ready and eager to be Jacob's father and impart the blessing, value and identity that Jacob wanted the most.

When Jacob realized who this was, his heart latched onto his God physically and emotionally with more tenacity than he had fought with throughout the whole night. Even with the pain of a freshly dislocated hip, Jacob knew it would be better to die than to lose this chance to receive the blessing he so deeply craved. As his false picture of God began to evaporate in the light of dawn and the Messenger pleaded to get away, Jacob refused to let Him leave without first giving him The Blessing. This was the chance of a lifetime and Jacob was not going to blow it again. He suddenly saw that the real God was one full of mercy and compassion and love, not a God who demanded performance and self-effort to receive His recognition. In the light of this fresh revelation of God he threw himself on the newly discovered mercy of his God and begged for a new identity. And that is exactly what he received.

Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." The man asked him, "What is your name?" "Jacob," he answered. Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there. (Genesis 32:26-29 NIV)

(rest of story)

Ghost Walker on the Water

I see a strong parallel between Peter's experience walking on the water in the storm with Jesus and the larger story of Peter's life overall. I believe that Jesus gave this experience to Peter to prepare him for the intense pressures he would experience during the final days of Jesus' life. But while Peter failed to apply the lesson he could have learned from getting soaked in the sea, Jesus never gave up rescuing Peter and finally Peter learned to really “walk on the water” for the rest of his life. The story is found in Matthew 14.

Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He sent the crowds away. After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.

By the end of this chapter things had apparently reversed in a way from what happened here right after the feeding of the 5,000. What we see just a little later is that because of the intensity of His words and the faith required to believe them the crowds were leaving on their own instead of being sent away and Jesus queried the disciples whether they wanted to leave also. The crowds were eager to “believe” in Him when the blessings were temporal and benefited them externally, but when it came to responding to heart conviction and being asked to trust in something that seemed strange to what they were accustomed to they choose to stay with the familiar. (Read the context to get a feel for what was going on here.)

But the boat was already a long distance from the land, battered by the waves; for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear.

This storm was an external analogy of the internal condition of their spirits. At the time of this event the disciples were very upset because Jesus would not allow the people to make Him king over Israel, and in their irritated state of mind Jesus sent them to the sea to receive some parallel turbulence to the stormy attitude they were cherishing on the inside. The key element in their heart that underlay all of their problems and that betrayed which supernatural spirit they were obeying was fear. This whole story, not only in its context but in its long-term application as a powerful analogy of how we relate to life, is a clear demonstration of the opposite effects of living under one spirit or another. We are either living in fear or in faith based on love. There are no other ways to live. Jesus was living in perfect love and submission to His Father's will for Him. In this event He was strongly resisting the temptation to accept an offered “shortcut to glory” offered to Him by the people and by Satan. The reason He became so forceful in His methods was because that was necessary in order for Him to defeat the intense temptation to His own soul.

But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!"

It is interesting to note that Jesus did not require a boat to cross the water but the disciples apparently did. That is because the spirit inside of them was so out of harmony with the spirit of heaven that Jesus cherished. Jesus pointed out the difference between their present condition and His desire for them very clearly in His invitation to step over into the courage of faith instead of dwelling in the shadowlands of death and fear. Peter was the only one to think outside the box far enough to let his imagination carry him away to Jesus. Jesus was eager to seize on any hint of faith and fan it into full flame as quickly as possible. In His response to Peter's question Peter could hear the echo of the first time Jesus had challenged him to step outside his comfort zone as a fisherman with his father and boldly leave the familiar for the thrilling terror of risking himself on God.

And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"

I see a strong parallel between this experience in Peter's life and the events surrounding Gethsemane and Jesus' trial. If Peter had learned this first lesson of faith that works by love more solidly he could have been spared the humiliation of his denial of Jesus and all its regrets. At Jesus' trial He again found himself in a life-threatening storm and needed to keep his eyes unblinkingly fixed on Jesus. When there is no storm we might be able to live in His presence without constantly staring at His face, but when the intensity is ratcheted up we have to learn that our only safety is an unswerving fixation on the face of God without caving in to any distractions no matter how threatening or dangerous they may seem to be. For all of those distractions are designed to do one thing primarily – cause us to be infected with the spirit of fear. And fear has torment which is never God's will for us. Fear will destroy our ability to walk on top of the water in a storm and will always result in dropping us into the depths of despair.

Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and says to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

But Peter was following Him at a distance as far as the courtyard of the high priest, and entered in, and sat down with the officers to see the outcome. (Matthew 26:58)

The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, "Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly. (Luke 22:61-62)

Peter had forgotten the lesson of the storm and so was compelled to repeat it. But again, the face of Jesus was there to convey to him the compassion and love that God ever has for all of His children whether they are trusting Him or not. Peter had again looked at the “wind” and thereby had become victim to the power of fear which dis-empowered him to live the bold life of faith that he had briefly enjoyed while walking in the storm on Galilee. But just like his rescue from his lapse of faith on the water, Jesus was there to save him when he was sinking in fear and shame after denying the closest Friend he had ever grown to love.

When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!" When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret.

While Jesus does not need a boat to handle traversing across water like humans do, He has chosen to get into the boat with us instead of insisting on us always walking on water. I believe He would prefer that we walk with Him on the water and I believe that that is His ultimate goal for us and will finally be realized in every respect. But in the meantime, God chose to get into the limiting, restrictive boat of humanness with us so we could learn to relate to Him and respond to His love and grow in faith until we were ready to live in full faith and confidence in His power within us. As a result of this faith He has in us while condescending to live at our level, we can respond by worshiping Him and realizing His awesome superiority beyond all of our meager capacity. We realize that we are totally dependent on Him for everything including life itself and we can enter into the relationship with Him that we were created to enjoy in joyful worship and awe. For terror is simply the counterfeit of the awe which we rightfully need to experience in the presence of a pure and holy God. Perfect love casts out all fear, but does not remove our awe of His power and greatness.

And when the men of that place recognized Him, they sent word into all that surrounding district and brought to Him all who were sick; and they implored Him that they might just touch the fringe of His cloak; and as many as touched it were cured. (Matthew 14:22-36)

When Peter and the other believers finally recognized the truth about Jesus after the resurrection, they were filled with the Holy Ghost (just like the Ghost on the lake) and became little “Christ's” (Christians). They began to work and walk like He did in many respects and people began to respond to them as they had to Jesus. More believers were added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women. They even carried out the sick into the streets, and laid them on cots and mattresses, so that as Peter came by, at the least his shadow might overshadow some of them. Multitudes also came together from the cities around Jerusalem, bringing sick people, and those who were tormented by unclean spirits: and they were all healed. (Acts 5:14-16 WEB)

Jacob's Blessing

My thoughts were mulling over the concept of blessing today and I began thinking about Jacob's experience with blessing. Of course, he is known for his escapade along with his mother of deceiving his father Isaac to gain the blessing of the firstborn that rightfully was supposed to go to Esau. It gets rather complicated when more factors are considered such as God's prophecy about their future when the twins were born and Esau's manipulated agreement under duress to relinquish the birthright when he was very hungry.

At any rate, as the story unfolded, Jacob ended up running for his life in fear after Esau threatened to kill him for “stealing” the blessing from his father. So did Jacob really get the blessing? This could generate a great deal of discussion especially with our western ignorance of what a blessing really is anyway. Typically we think of blessing as associated with material wealth. At first glance in this story it appears that Jacob lost all of the wealth that should have come from his father with the blessing since he left home for a long period of time. But further on in the story we see that Jacob indeed became very wealthy through the apparent benefits of being blessed supernaturally. He ended up with a large family and a great deal of livestock which in that day was the currency of riches. So in light of this and from our viewpoint it might seem that Jacob would finally feel like he had indeed received the blessing that had been pronounced on him from his father.

But if this was true then why is it that we find him in such a desperate state of mind while he spends all night body-wrestling and unknown “assailant” in the dark that he had no idea of their identity? The key moment comes when he realizes who he has been wrestling with and instantly wraps himself around the body of the heavenly messenger in a death-grip of emotional intensity begging for the blessing that his heart had craved for all of his life. To me this looks like a symptom of intense soul-hunger that was never satisfied with what we would consider external blessings in abundance. He had wives, he had children, he had wealth, he had freedom. But the fear that had haunted him all of his life had not disappeared and now he was back face to face with it. He was forced to face his past; he could no longer hide from it. Now his real heart came gushing to the surface and the crisis of his brother's threats only triggered the deeper crisis of the emptiness that he had been attempting to fill repeatedly but had failed to diminish.

This night of sharp focus in the life of Jacob is referred to in the book of Daniel as the time of Jacob's trouble and is prophecied to be repeated in the lives of God's people very near the end of this world's history. Many people believe we are about to enter that time in the very near future. I was raised in a culture where a great deal of emphasis was put on teaching this in a spirit of fear and dread. We were taught that we must prepare for this time of testing by putting away every sin from our life and developing a perfect character so that no sin will be discovered in our life during that time.

Associated with this future event was also a great deal of external violence and world-wide disasters culminating in the second coming of Jesus to bring and end to all the mess and pick up His perfected saints who survive this time of trouble without any sin being found in them. Again, I remember a great deal of fear and foreboding associated with this frequent teaching and was not too keen about suffering through such an ordeal especially given the near impossibility of getting myself to such a level of perfection that was demanded to survive it.

I have begun to realize that there is something wrong with this teaching for a number of years now primarily due to the over-emphasis of fear as the key ingredient. It is becoming very clear to me that teachings based on fear are very suspect at best and present a very distorting picture of God at worst. While many of the facts surrounding a teaching may indeed be accurate, presenting a teaching or doctrine based on fear is attempting to present truth using the methods of the enemy of truth. And when truth is presented in the wrong spirit it ceases to have the power of truth no matter how accurate the facts may be or how many proof-texts are lined up to reinforce it. This is a major problem that has prevented the gospel from spreading to the world and keeps Christianity locked in internal struggles and arguments that profanes the name of the One they claim to represent.

What became startlingly clear to me today is that this fear-oriented teaching has turned away hundreds of thousands of people from growing further in their Christian experience because of the terrors of the “time of trouble” repeatedly kept before them by religious people seeking to motivate them into perfection of character through fear. This is a classic scheme of the Devil who is determined to steal the incredible blessing that God has in store for us. We have missed the most important part of Jacob's story in our teaching about the “time of Jacob's trouble”.

Jacob went into this experience because of the fear that was tormenting him so mercilessly. He had divided up his large family and livestock and had sent them in different directions in another attempt to protect his assets and then retired to a solitary place to seek God earnestly for relief of the greatest cry of his own heart. It was now unavoidable that his heart still craved blessing and now he wanted it more than life itself. He longed to be free of the ever-present feeling of guilt that had tormented him and increased over his lifetime. He desperately wanted peace with God and decided to spend the night in prayer not only for protection but for real satisfaction that only the genuine blessing could bring him.

Ironically, when God showed up in person to answer his prayer and embraced him to fulfill the longing of his heart, Jacob's fear-based mind reacted in alarm and violence in resistance to the very thing his heart longed for the most without realizing it. The original language conveys that the “angel” acutally embraced Jacob, not just touched him. God came to give him a hug but it erupted into a fight instead. How often do we find ourselves in the same situation, reacting in terror against the very things that God brings into our lives to be our greatest source of blessing and fulfillment because we have not known the real truth about what God is really like.

The main point of this story is that Jacob really did receive the blessing he had longed for all of his life, the blessing that everyone of us longs for from the very deepest, misunderstood recesses of our being. It was at the climax of this “time of trouble” that Jacob received this blessing, and the same will be true for those who pass through the future time of “Jacob's trouble”.

So what is this blessing that he received and that we need so badly? I cannot explain that, partly because I do not know and partly because I suspect it cannot be condensed into words easily even by those who have received it. However, I believe that one of the most important aspects of that blessing was a radical shift in paradigms that occurred in Jacob's thinking and perception about how God wanted to relate with him. Because of this new relationship with God and the amazing experience of grace that Jacob experienced when his name was changed to Israel – one who strove with God and overcame – he afterward demonstrated a bold and peaceful confidence and trust in God's protection and abilities never before seen in his life. He had experienced the truth about God on a very personal and intimate level and he was a totally changed man. That is the opportunity that lies embedded in the future “time of trouble” for those who understand enough of the true nature of God to enter into it in anticipation of the blessing waiting for them there.

Promoting fear in association with the time of trouble is to work in concert with the enemies scheme to trick us out of our blessing. Fear is not God's method for motivation. He has made it very clear all throughout scripture that He does not want us operating from a base of fear. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Debating with the Heart

As I read the two devotional books that I am using this morning, I was impressed at the convergence on one theme – living from the heart verses any other alternative. The reading in Sons and Daughters of God was about Moses. I learned a number of things I had not known before. But nearly all of them revolved around God's training for Moses to teach him to live from his heart. What is even more instructive is that it appears that living from the heart seems to be synonymous with consistently living in the awareness of the presence of God and in complete trust in Him.

The first time Moses fled from Egypt for his life he had tried to employ the counterfeit tool of force to accomplish God's purposes. Even though he was loyal to God, while growing up in the system of the world his heart and mind had been deceived to the point where he believed in the idea still popular today that God's role is to give us goals and then add power to our plans to accomplish those goals. Like a country song I couldn't help overhearing on someone's radio yesterday, “God rules the world with a staff and rod – me 'n God, we're a team.”

So after Moses made a spectacular failure trying to free his countrymen with force and was then overcome by fear and terror, he ran for his life into the wilderness expecting to never be seen or heard from again in Egypt. “Then, in a special sense, God undertook his training.... He had yet to learn the lesson of dependence upon divine power. He had mistaken God's purpose. It was his hope to deliver Israel by force of arms. For this he risked all, and failed.”

“In the stern simplicity of the wilderness . . . Moses gained that which went with him throughout the years of his toilsome and care-burdened life,--a sense of the personal presence of the Divine One. . . . When misunderstood and misrepresented, when called to bear reproach and insult, to face danger and death, he was able to endure 'as seeing him who is invisible.'”

What struck me as very significant in this passage was the following result seen in his life after he learned to live with “a sense of the personal presence” of God and had time to develop the characteristics of a shepherd in the desert. By the time he was sent back to Egypt to fulfill God's desires and represent the truth about God before the whole world, he had become one of the world's most skilled examples of living from his heart in sympathy with God.

“He spoke from the heart and it reached the heart. He was accomplished in knowledge and yet simple as a child in the manifestation of his deep sympathies. Endowed with a remarkable instinct, he could judge instantly of the needs of all who surrounded him. . . . Of the man who is noted for his meekness, Christ says, He can be trusted. Through him I can reveal Myself to the world. He will not weave into the web any threads of selfishness.” {SD 94}

That is the real goal and mission of the plan of Salvation for every one of us. That is what I want to become – one who speaks from the heart in a way that reaches other hearts and to be open as a child in my manifestation of deep sympathies.

The text used for this reading was taken from Heb. 11:27 “By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen.” This alerted me to something quite amazing that I have noticed about God for some time now. It often seems the case that God takes our most humiliating and public disasters and transforms them into our most obvious strengths of character. In this case Moses is especially noted in God's “Hall of Notables” (I don't think fame is the best word in God's system) partially listed in Hebrews 11 as the person who did not fear the wrath of the king. I find that amazing after the fact that the greatest apparent failure he experienced was his untimely and shameful night trip fleeing for his life from the wrath of a king who most likely considered Moses the greatest threat to his throne and the ultimate traitor. Nothing could have been more devastating to the career of Moses than to be branded as the coward who had lost all courage while claiming to be working for God and the good of His people

And yet God picked this very focal point of shame in the life of Moses and declares in Hebrews 11 that Moses is to be remembered as one who was not afraid of the king. The contrast between his first scandalous exit and the nobility and courage that he displayed during the now famous exodus from Egypt was due to one key element in his life spelled out clearly in the text - “he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen.”

As I then opened My Utmost for His Highest for today I found it very relevant that this reading too was all about living from the heart. It was almost like a continuation of the heart-lesson that God wants to teach me right now. (The following quotes are from the edited edition of this book as I went off and left all of my study books and papers at another location on my last trip.) As in the previous quotes, there is far more in the original passages that are also excellent and instructive, but for space and time considerations I am only presenting a few of the highlights that really spoke very strongly to me.

“To put my view of His honor ahead of what He is plainly guiding me to do is never right, even though it may come from a real desire to prevent Him from being put to an open shame.... When I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. This will only result in my concluding that His instructions to me were not right.”

At this point I could easily remember many times when I have indulged in debate about following instantly the impulses that I felt from the Holy Spirit. And nearly always I later regretted doing so as I had missed yet another opportunity to bless someone and/or receive a blessing or experience another step of important growth in my life. What I am starting to see here is the constant conflict between the left/intellectual side of my brain where typical “religion” resides fighting with the right/heart-oriented side of my brain trying to live out the quiet but insistent directives of the Spirit. My intellect and knowledge and formula-based religious training and my logical, flesh-dominated mind always wants to interfere with the activities of my heart. It almost seems jealous of the intimate connection that God wants to have with my heart and is always trying to insert itself into that relation. (That painfully reminds me of what I have sometimes tried to do in other people's relationships with each other that I wanted to be a part of.) That is what I see as the “element that is not of God” operating in my own experience.

“Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus Himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can't see anything (see Matthew 14:29). But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can't see the way ahead.”

This penchant to “clear the way mentally” is one of the greatest obstacles I have seen to living from the heart. And if it is not my own mind demanding explanations on how this is all going to work out, there are usually others around ready and eager to ask those kinds of questions before being willing to encourage me to step into a position of faith. We are all probably guilty of being a source of discouragement to someone who is trying to learn to live in this condition of faith from their heart. If I have done that to you, the one who is reading this right now, please forgive me and encourage me to live from my heart in the context and awareness of the constant presence of God. And I want to strongly urge you to also practice listening to the quiet voice of God speaking to your own heart and enjoy the delights of living in His presence.

“Are you debating whether you should take a step of faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can clearly see how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn't. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him? 'Whatever He says to you, do it' (John 2:5).” (My Utmost for His Highest 3/28)

The Elijah Syndrome

I have once again fallen victim to what I call the “Elijah syndrome”. No, I have not been full of boldness and stood valiantly for God against great odds and received wonderful confirmation of His power and presence. I am referring to what happened not long after that event on Mt. Carmel when Elijah was exhausted and succumbed to the temptation to be afraid and subsequently ran for his life like a scared little rabbit. This must have greatly amused the woman who threatened him and brought her a great deal of satisfaction. (reference 1 Kings 17,18)

The syndrome I have observed over the years is this: very frequently after a spiritual high moment there almost inevitably follows a particularly powerful temptation aimed at our most vulnerable weakness. It is crass and vicious on the part of the tempter, but then that is what he is like. He is cruel, completely heartless and he is ruthless in pursuit of shaming us, defaming us and destroying us. His real goal is to defame God's reputation and he stops short of absolutely nothing to accomplish this. He particularly enjoys causing a public failure of consistency, a poisoning of the spirit that reflects his own evil and selfish attributes to be revealed in the life of a saint-in-process. Then he quickly broadcasts this failure, greatly exaggerating its extent and implications, and masking over the truth of the person's real, inward identity. Once again Satan vindicates himself in his charges and lies against God.

This sequence creates a great deal of tension, remorse and confusion within the person thus attacked and tripped up. Many times he wonders what his true, God-implanted identity really is as he is led to question and understand his own inconsistency. Sometimes he falls into deep discouragement and is blinded to the causes of his catastrophic failure and shame. Shame becomes the primary feeling that swallows him up and may even drive him into hopeless despair.

This is where the story of Elijah is such a powerful encouragement to remember in the midst of the confusion and shame. While Elijah ran for his life making God look weak and helpless to protect him, God still had His hand around Elijah waiting for him to slow down enough to come back to his senses and receive the gifts of life from His hand. It really confirms the fact in salvation that all righteousness comes from God and that we have absolutely none of our own. We can only receive it, cooperate with Him in the transaction and then live out the righteousness that God implants in us.

However, there seems to be certain conditions that tend to create the opportunity for this syndrome to be triggered. First of all, it happens to a person who is learning to depend more and more totally on God and not on themselves. This enrages the enemy because it exposes the falseness of the lies with which he has blanketed the world and threatens to greatly weaken his despotic control over souls.

Secondly it often comes on the heels of a spiritual event that creates an emotional high in the life of the believer. Sometimes people are led to conclude from this that we should avoid spiritual highs so we won't be so liable for a crash. But if that logic were true then we might not today have one of the most telling stories in the Bible contrasting the character of God against the evil of false gods. There is nothing at all wrong with experiencing spiritual highs, though we are not expected to live there all the time. These events are given to remind us of the ideal that is in God's presence. But we must also return to the everyday world and live out the vision and remember inside the inspiration that received on the mountain. (see My Utmost for His Highest 10/1) The disciples also experienced this when they came down off the Mount of Transfiguration.

Lastly this vicious attack usually arrives in a period of physical weakness and/or emotional exhaustion. Elijah had just run an incredible distance leading Ahab's chariot (his wicked opponent) through driving, blinding rain so he could get back home safely without receiving the slightest kindness in return. There was certainly nothing wrong with his actions and choices. Indeed, he was exhibiting an amazing affinity to God's own heart of compassion and love by blessing his enemy while spending himself to exhaustion. But this situation set him up for the attack that followed because the enemy loves to exploit our weaknesses, both spiritually and physically. Elijah was drenched, unbelievably tired and emotionally drained. He was the perfect target for a savage assault by by the ultimate aggressor. And Satan chose to launch his attack through the wicked wife of the very man Elijah had just poured himself out to bless.

This is the story of the Elijah syndrome. It is given not only as a warning to alert us that our archenemy will use every such opportunity to launch a sneak attack on our souls; but is also given particularly to remind us that God has not forsaken or forgotten us when we have played the fool and been unwittingly participant in smearing His reputation once again through our dysfunction. What amazes me the most in this story is the consideration that God never once reprimanded Elijah for his failure to trust Him in the face of this simple threat. Many of us have been tempted to castigate Elijah and wonder how he could be so bold in front of overwhelming opposition just hours before and yet fall into paralyzing fear from the threat from a single woman. Where had his confident faith gone? Why not exercise holy boldness and confiding trust, particularly after such tremendous affirmation and public success at the hand of God?

But Elijah was human and subject to the same blind spots and weaknesses that we all have to deal with. (James 5:16,17) And God demonstrated His character of kindness, grace and sympathy and simply sent an angel to supply what Elijah needed most – food, water and lots of rest.

But I'm sure Elijah was thinking very much about what had just happened and God did not leave him to figure it all out on his own. When God took him through the series of powerful events on Mt. Horeb (Sinai), they were specifically calculated to answer the troubling questions that must have been tormenting Elijah on the inside. They reminded him of the primary way that God communicates to us as well as contrasting that with the ways we often expect or desire God to communicate with us. It was a powerful reminder to Elijah as well as to all of us that even the fire that fell on Mt. Carmel just prior to this was not nearly so important as remembering to listen to the inaudible voice of God within our soul. God is there all the time; but when we allow distractions, whether positive or negative, to drown out His voice, then we are in danger of making decisions or reacting to temptations or threats in a way that is inconsistent with the Spirit of God within us. But this does not mean that God has forsaken us, no matter ugly things now appear or how our feelings and emotions clamor and accuse. We have the assurance from this example in the life of Elijah that we can trust in a God who supersedes our emotions and perceptions and who is faithful to us even when we have been unfaithful and shamed before all the world.

You are because I AM

When God called Moses in the bush, Moses basically said, “I don't know who I am.” His whole identity and value was now very much in doubt. He used to be very confident and sure of himself, but his value was derived from his position and accomplishments. He was adopted into the royal family of Egypt. He was heir to the throne by law. He was a champion leader who had many military victories to his name. He was capable, efficient, savy, good-looking and proud of himself. He also realized his unique calling to deliver his biological relatives from bondage and likely spent time arranging all the various pieces and advantages of his life into various scenarios as to how this would happen. (We do the same thing with our end-time novels.)

Moses was sure he knew who he was and had some terrific and glorious plans for accomplishing great things for God and for his own people. He was excited and eager to take on the challenge and just knew he was the man blessed with all the right talents and resources. He knew he was called of God and what his destiny was. But he may have been baffled that God didn't seem to be initiating anything as things got worse and worse for the slaves, his own relatives. He may have felt that the opportune time was about to pass unused. His own power and advantages were starting to wane and be threatened by intrigue and politics. Jealous power struggles threatened to soon expose his real identity and jeopardize his assumed identity that had been carefully manicured for decades. If he was exposed as being adopted and his roots linked to the slave people his own life as well as the life of his princess mother might be at stake. The pressure was mounting and the stress was becoming enormous.

Then the very nightmare he feared most happened and even worse, because he inadvertently precipitated it himself. In trying to be the hero he was taught to be and combine it with concern for God's chosen people, his whole carefully constructed and well-groomed identity and all his plans collapsed in shame and disgrace. He was forced to run for his life like an escaping slave instead of a brave warrior.

His real fears and insecurity and immaturity burst out into the open and reality hit him unexpectedly changing his life forever. He stumbled into the wilderness confused, angry, ashamed, fearful and very seriously doubting God's intentions to use him and maybe even God's abilities. He was swallowed in darkness and hopeless despair. Sadness for his family, both biological and adopted, wrapped him like a soggy blanket. Pangs of fear for their safety and regrets for his fault in putting them in danger repeatedly shot through him as his mind raced to make sense out of all this chaos. He became deeply disgusted with himself, with the politically corrupt power system that crushed people's lives without any concern and had now ruined his forever. Where was God in all this? Why didn't He intervene if He was so loving and powerful?

Jethro and his family quietly and patiently molded and trained him into the ways of true reality. They could see him with the eyes of heaven past his cultured and damaged exterior. They cooperated with God in teaching him and training both his mind and his heart to value what is really important and become free from the artificialness of the world's system and its measurements of value.

When God appeared to call Moses to start work forty years later he had completely given up all plans of his own. He had fully embraced a humble shepherd's life and assumed he had permanently sabotaged any plans God may have previously had for him. He now no longer had any of the necessary advantages and leverage of power that he felt was needed to accomplish deliverance. He believed God would move to plan B and find someone else better positioned to bring about His plans.

So when God surprised him by instructing him to move ahead with delivering his people, Moses immediately reminded God of all the above. “you must have dialed the wrong number. I'm no longer the man equipped and positioned strategically for the job. I don't even know who I am anymore.”

God came back with what is most important. “I AM. Your identity is received by connection to I AM which is all of your value. You are the one called and empowered and valued by the One who is the source of all value and identity. You are because I AM.”

Jacob's Trouble

Jacob clung to God until he received a blessing. He was desperate to have a sense of true identity and value. He had lived most of his life being shamed and devalued. He was starved for joy, someone to cherish him.

God did not really give him a new identity. He revealed to him his original blueprint, what his heart had all along been designed to be. The deceiver Jacob was a false self created and perpetuated by himself and his mother in wrong reactions to pressuring circumstances. Jacob's heart had always yearned for intimacy with God but the lies embedded early caused him to act out in sins which created shame which produced more lies which produced more shame and anger and pain.

We too must realize and feel a desperate, passionate hunger for God Himself that eclipses every other craving and pleasure. This is the whole explanation of “Jacob's time of trouble” in the end. It is , pure and simple, an abandonment of every lie, every other source that we have tried to use to receive life and love and satisfaction. It is getting real about every emotion, feeling and belief we have stuffed, ignored, suppressed or tried to deny or escape from. We finally become fully honest and transparent and hopeless, realizing that our only source for any sense of value and love must come directly to our heart from God alone.

It is not about a focus on achieving perfection and forcing ourself to overcome every sin like many of us have grown up to believe. It is about embracing our guilt, our pain and facing our lies about God and about ourself full face. It is only at that point that we can fully appreciate the totality of our hopelessness and bankruptcy and full embrace His grace and rest completely in His righteousness alone to redeem us.

Paul's Presentation Style

I see an interesting pattern in the book of Acts. Paul had a penchant for arguing and debating which was how he was trained from childhood. This had made him very popular and had earned him the admiration of the establishment Jews. He worked his way up quickly to be a champion of the original faith delivered to the forefathers and was respected as a fierce defender of the truth that could not be resisted.

In the process however, he laid aside sympathy and compassion and humility as weak traits of character that would be liabilities to his cause. He believed in strength and boldness, that one has to be tough in the face of creeping error. He believed strongly that heresy and emotionalism were at the heart of the “new theology” that was sweeping many off the firm foundation of centuries of carefully cultivated and established truth.

Then he himself was confronted with the reality of the true condition of his own heart in the presence of Jesus. He saw the contrast between his dogmatic, fierce defending of didactic truth with the open, wounded pain he was causing in the heart and emotions of Jesus, the Son of God, and his own heart was re-awakened.

However, old patterns remain in the mind and for years Paul struggled with his habit of arguing and persuasion as the means of presenting truth. It often seemed so effective and seemed to satisfying that it was very difficult to let go. Yet the spirit of combativeness produced mixed results that eventually ended sometimes in physical attacks on his life.

The original new testament church had started out with the nearly undiluted passion of God in love and humility that was an unrestrainable power for a period of time. But as human methods and ideas began to be mixed in to the body of believers there came a subtle and imperceptible shift away from fully living from their hearts filled with the passion of God to reasoning and persuading and eventually arguing. This introduced an element foreign to th Holy Spirit and slowly began the descent toward the Dark Ages.

Notice the result in Corinth when Paul changed his presentation style from arguing and persuading and reasoning – the methods used in the previous cities – to immersing himself in the Word and going back to simply testifying as a witness as was the consistent pattern seen in the disciples early in Acts. Not only did he not het thrown out of Corinth violently, but he was affirmed by God directly and his Jewish opponents ended up being the ones who received the beatings and violence that he usually received.

Intimidation and Peace

Paul and Silas interacting with the jailer/prison warden. (Acts 16)

When they arrived at the prison in a swirl of angry passions and evil lies about them, their own spirit remained untainted of the dust of resentment or self-pity. Satan had used his weapon of force and cruelty both physically and emotionally on them but they insisted on remaining in the peace of God and maintaining an atmosphere of ever-present forgiveness and grace to everyone around them.

The warden was trained to be uncaring and inconsiderate of pain both physical and emotional. Even so, Paul and Silas immediately offered him an opportunity to discover his own freedom which he instantly scoffed at and rejected out of hand at first. Instead, he perpetrated the pattern of cruelty and intimidation by increasing their pain and sneering at their integrity. To protect his own reputation and life the roughly secured them with the harshest confinement at his disposal, the stocks.

The other prisoners as well, at first accepted the dark judgment that society had heaped on Paul and Silas and assumed they must be very deceitful con men to receive such stigma and treatment. But all this social darkness only served to more clearly couch the stark contrast of the inner light that burst forth in prayers of forgiveness and intercession for their enemies and joyful songs of praise for a faithful and wonderful God Who transcended their own circumstances and more than compensated their pain with His presence.

Immature Saul II

Acts 9:1-31

When Saul was first converted he still carried many of his habits, techniques and assumptions from his past thinking and training. He believed that over-powering arguments were the means to bring truth to other minds. He had always had a religion based on logic, study, facts and irrefutable proofs. Now he simply applied his new insights about Jesus and prophecies to continue his campaign to win everyone over to his viewpoint. Yes, his heart had been awakened by a fresh revelation of God in his vision from Jesus and his initial interactions with disciples in Damascus, but the habits of reasoning and his dependence on force of logic, if not physical force, would take time to undo. This is demonstrated both in Damascus and in Jerusalem much to the intense embarrassment of his former supporters to the point of death threats.

Evidently, from the text, while Saul was busy heating up the frustration and anger of his former close friends and comrades in religion, the leaders of the Christian church were spending time planting a new company in Caesarea and may not have been fully aware of what discontent and opposition Saul was stirring up in Jerusalem with his argumentative style. Saul was in danger of stirring up so much animosity against himself and the church that he was actually creating new zealots to replace the position of persecutor he had just vacated. He did not realize that it was unnecessary to use the tactics of forceful arguing and intimidation to spread truth. He had switched his allegiance but he had much to learn about gentleness and humility to reflect the true Spirit of Jesus in his labors.

The apostles realized the damage that Saul was beginning to induce on the church when they started receiving disturbing reports in Caesarea from Jerusalem and they may have decided to intervene before Saul inadvertently returned the situation to the reign of terror that he himself had so recently presided over. It was simply a problem of maturity, not ill motives. Saul was indeed converted, but his methods and spirit of presentation was sometimes abrasive and unnecessarily blunt.

So acting as mature elders would act, the apostles moved to intervene and brought Saul to Caesarea to where they could counsel with him about his methods and quietly discuss the problem so they could come up with a plan to help him move forward in true maturity and learn more of the true ways of Jesus. After careful consideration and prayer and closer bonding through affirmation it was mutually agreed that it would be best for Saul's growth at this point to allow him to return to his roots, his hometown and allow the Holy Spirit to have time to take him through an experience that would retrain him through the earliest stages of maturity so he would have a solid foundation for his future ministry.

Sermon Paraphrased - Gatesitter series

(click here for previous post in this series)

In Peter's sermon (Acts 3:12-26) I see repeated contrasts between what God has done and what “you” have done, revealing the true character of both. Our part or role in this is witnesses, not causes. I see Peter and John in essence saying, Don't look at us as the cause or origin of this miracle or the cause or origin of your problems. There are choices and consequences and we are simply witnesses testifying to what really is – the great I AM vs. the little you are. God identified Himself with your ancestors and identified Himself even more with Jesus. You renounced the link with Him through your ancestors by disowning and betraying Jesus in the presence of Pilate, the representative of this world's system of governance. You separated yourself from the Zone who was the essence of God – Holy and Righteous – even though you verbally claim to be righteous yourself. You instead identified yourself publicly with a murderer. In identifying and asking for a murderer in exchange for the life of the very Author of life, you became murderers yourself and entered into struggle against the Almighty over the life of Jesus. God gave Him life when all you gave was death. God is the source of all life and holiness and righteousness. Therefore He is worthy of trust which enables faith in His reputation. He is fully identified with Jesus and has designated Jesus to be the focal point of all faith and the Source and channel of all power, righteousness and salvation. The foundation, the bottom line, the basis of life here is have faith in the name of Jesus who is the perfect demonstration of what God is really like. Believing confidently in Jesus' demonstration of life-giving disposition is the reason and the channel that brought strength of soul and perfect body healing to this man that you can identify with so well. He is one of you and this was done right in your presence to demonstrate what God deeply desires to do for each one of you if you will change your attitude toward God.

(click here for 1st post in this series)

Pentacostal Healing Sermon - Gatesitter series

(click here for previous post in this series)

Your focus of worship, what you depend on to bring you life and salvation has been your lineage from Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You have believed that because you are a Jew that you have the inside track to God and because you possess intellectual truth more than the others in the world that you can be saved by it. But it is not membership in a group or possession of piety or power that you need to be saved. It is an intimate, personal acquaintance with the author of life – Jesus the Messiah. He is the One that God has designated to be honored and worshiped. He is the One with a servant attitude, an attitude opposite yours, who spent time among you demonstrating the real truth about God. But in your religious blindness you disowned the very One who came to rescue you. You went so far as to force death onto the very Author of life. This should tell you something about what is inside of you. But God, the very essence of life, raised up the One you had killed and filled Him with even more glorious life. You are in a tug-o-war between life and death and you need to realize you are at the wrong end of the rope, the opposite end from where God is. Our part in this is not to condemn and judge you. Your own hearts will do that to you when you realize the truth. But that too will not save you. Our function is simply to testify to what we know and experience of the truth about God and His transformational work in our lives. It is the power that occurs by knowing and trusting Jesus that has been revealed in this man's heart as well as his body. When this man exercised faith in the revelation of the truth about God's attitude toward us as revealed in Jesus, he received healing, liberating, life-changing power right here in your presence. It all happened in the presence of you who still cling to death-producing attitudes. Why was this man healed? Because he opened his heart and mind to the real Source of life and God is glorifying His Son Jesus through this man. Now this man, like us, has become a true witness who can testify to you of first-hand experience of the truth about God. God, the true source of all life and blessing, has given this man perfect health in every way. That is what God delights to do and desires to do for everyone if they would only give Him permission by entering into a faith-producing submission to Him. Yes, This event has created great conflict and tension in your minds. You are feeling very guilty and convicted now that you see reality and your wicked attitude toward the real God. But even so, you have been ignorant of the truth about God. But you did not surprise Him when you killed His Son in ignorance and bigotry. He prophesied it all long ago. But now that you realize your true nature you need to act in the light of the true revelation of God and turn away from the lies, the prejudice, the false piety and self-centered religiosity. Turn to God, be transparent and honest with Him so that He can cleanse your hearts and minds of all this death-producing fear, guilt and condemnation. As you enter the presence of God you will experience wonderful times of refreshing renewal. He will fill you with life and joy and peace. This is not a new religion. This truth about what is real and God's relationship toward us is actually the true understanding of our own history. Moses himself, the one you revere as a champion of your legalism, actually believed and prophesied about this very thing. He believed in Jesus himself. In fact, the law itself that came through Moses warns you that if you do not heed this revelation to your heart you will be cut off from God's people. All of your prophets have uniformly looked forward to Jesus and the true means of salvation if you understand them from God's point of view. You yourselves are privileged to be descendants of these very prophets. You are already privileged to be in this covenant relationship with God through which God intends to bless all the families of the earth, not just Jews. You are right now in the very unique position of already being in this blood covenant and to be first in line to receive God's blessing directed to you through His Servant/Son Jesus. This blessing comes by Jesus turning each of you away from wickedness, fighting against life and God, toward the true source of life and health and real peace.

(click here for next post in this series)

Amazement or Unbelief - Gatesitter series

(click here for the previous post in this series)

Amazement is often an external symptom of internal unbelief. If we believed the truth about God's real desires for us we would not be so much amazed as overjoyed when we see it enacted in our lives. Peter realized that the people needed to get past amazement to focusing on Jesus (in his response to healing the lame beggar). If they stayed in amazement they were resisting belief. The reason you are amazed is because you have always falsely believed that personal piety would produce power to work miracles. You believe in perfectionism and worth based on genealogy. This miracle doesn't fit your criteria of qualifications. It confronts many of your foundational religious assumptions. As humans just like you we do not possess power or piety that invokes power from heaven. It is not even our forefather's piety that empowered this miracle. The Source of all power and all piety is farther back than our ancestors – it is God Himself. And in your supposed piety and obsession with power you disowned Him by rejecting His Son. Your piety led you to choose a murderer over the Son of God. Your idea of power led you to kill the very Author of Life Himself. (Acts 3:12-16)

(click here for next post in this series)

Gatesitter Scene 6 - Power and Piety

(click here for scene 5)

“...as if by our own power or piety we had made him walk? (Acts 3:12) The paradigm of humanity is the craving for these elements to be the source of salvation. We want POWER – lots of power, overwhelming power to FORCE change. We want to be so powerful we can intimidate others into compliance with our beliefs or wishes. We believe power is the answer to sin and pain and dysfunction, but we don't understand the way God uses power. We want power to establish our plans. We use power in the context of fear. Even our promotion of God is usually based on fear, the wrong kind of fear induced by the lies about how He uses power. In the same vein many believe that piety is the answer and the means of salvation. This belief is far more subtle and dangerous because it appears so righteous and religious. It is picked right off the Good side of the Tree of Knowledge. It sometimes promotes itself as the more noble approach to successful religious life than power. It is viewed by some as stronger than forcing others into conformity. It is usually centered in forcing one's self into religious compliance with an endless list of expectations and achievements that must be performed to satisfy the demands of holiness. It is assumed that if enough piety is generated in the life then supernatural events will begin to occur as a result to validate their accomplishments of piety. These miracles, it is believed, will be given as acknowledgment of this person's growing proximity to the perfection of God. If a person can achieve a high enough, pure enough piety before God and men then God will begin to answer their prayers more often and will endow them with power to perform miracles so that others will recognize and acknowledge their achievement of successful piety. At this point it is believed that their piety and corresponding power will produce amazement, wonder and awe in other people that will be their witness as others focus on their accomplishments. People will appreciate and honor them for their righteousness and God will be more pleased and/or less angry with them. Because the lame – now healed man was probably very aware of this theology at least intuitively, he understandably found himself clinging to the ones who had apparently healed him. As the crowd quickly thickened and the amazement intensified he felt not only pressure from the publicity of his transformed identity but felt obligated to steer all the attention and glory away from himself to not only God but onto Peter and John. It appeared that, according to the evidence and based on religious assumptions, these men must have somehow figured out the right formula of piety to unlock the power of God. Thus the crowds were ready and eager to perform their role by heaping praise and glory on these men for their piety and accomplishments. They were also eager to find out the secret formula for themselves so they too could exercise this kind of power. Thus the situation was urgent and ripe for Peter and John to clarify what was reality and what was false assumptions about religion and God's ways. At this point they seized on the opportunity to launch into a most powerful expose´ of the truth and God's real plan for His children. It was time for people to hear the real good news.

(click here for next in this series)

Gatesitter Scene 5 - Focus

(click here for scene 4)

He began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. This is exactly what they requested of him. While it is true that he had never been presented with an opportunity to be healed before, it was equally true that he could miss this opportunity if he did not focus his attention on what was being offered him. Focus has multiple implications. Inherently focus means tuning out all other demands for attention, no matter how apparently important or urgent. Focus means actively discipling the thought and emotions to be directed at only one person or thing. Focus demands active participation and an exercise of choice, to use the “kingly” power of our will. Focus also implies an object of focus. He had probably focused many times on different things: his bitterness over being lame, his poverty, his helplessness, his parents, potential sources of income... He was likely under heavy influence of the spirit of Mammon. He was focused on doing whatever it took to try to get money so he could eek out a living. After years of fruitless attempts to better himself by focusing on different sources of help and hope for his life, he may have come to the place where he hardly cared to focus on anything anymore outside himself. Hope itself was slipping away, especially after Jesus the healer had been killed, and deep depression and hopelessness was settling into his soul like a thickening fog. Everything was now viewed through a deepening mist and there was very little reason left to even continue living. All his hopes and dreams had been swallowed up by the relentless approaching fog and he was settling into a mindless routine of just surviving to beg for one more day. So when Peter and John suddenly stopped in front of this man's lowered head and insisted that he look them straight in the eyes, it came to him like a shaft of sunlight bolting through a rift in the clouds. They asked for the one and only thing from this man that is the only thing any person genuinely owns that can be offered to another as a gift – the gift of his undivided attention. They were already giving him this gift themselves and they asked him to respond likewise. If he chose not to respond to their request because of choosing to remain in his self-pity and despondency, he would not have placed himself in the position to receive the far greater gifts they had to offer him. They did not offer him more of what he thought he needed. Instead they wanted to re-awaken the original dreams and hopes that he had now given up as unrealistic for his life. God had placed the hope for healing in his heart originally. God had inspired him to want to dance and twirl and leap for joy like some of the little children he used to observe. There had been a time in his life when he was a friend of many of the children who played around the temple area. He had listened to them and been a friend to them as they had shared their sympathy and their own hearts with him. But lately even the children didn't come around much because they found him too depressing. He was more alone than ever and wondered why God wouldn't just let him die.

(click here for scene 6)

(click here for lessons from the Gatesitter)

Lessons from the Gatesitter

He sat every day at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful. How very many of us also sit every day in the presence of the Beauty of God while spending most all of our time focusing on our selvfes, our crippled condition, our needs and desiring pity from those around us who enter on into His glory. We see ourselves as cripples, unworthy and unable to go to God. We are content to resign ourselves to sitting outside the gate of beauty and just beg for dropping crumbs from the rich blessings others receive from Him. We live off a pitance of the blessings of others. We may be sometimes even jealous of their freedom and gladness but believe it cannot be ours to experience. We need a Peter and John to come to us and demand our undivided attention to pry our focus away from our impossibilities to God's boundless desires for us. The lame man was living and asking for money to provide an existence for himself. He was content, though not satisfied, to eek out a bleak existence on the leftovers from others. But God had much greater plans for his life. Peter and John did not offer him more of the same. He thought that money was his need. But they wanted to break his dependence on thinking money would solve his problems to realize God's real passion for his heart. God wanted his life to glorify His Son Jesus. God's heart wanted him to run, to dance, to celebrate wildly in the presence of God's goodness. God wanted him to trust in Jesus for satisfaction instead of depending on his begging. God wanted to make him a spectacle of amazement and wonder beyond his own wildest dreams. God desired to jolt the whole city into a new picture of reality, a reality of God's true desires that He wanted everyone to accept and experience in their own lives. This experience of God's reality was already being enjoyed by thousands of animated, excited believers. But God's heart yearns to draw everyone into His powerful embrace of love. Reality ws breaking out of the fictional world of rigid religion and anything was now possible if people would just believe in God's goodness and His salvation. He wanted to pour down blessings like heavy rain if only people would just choose to believe – if we will just choose to believe.

Gatesitter Scene 4

(click here for scene 3)

It would be interesting to observe the shifting sentiments and moods of the public passing in and out of the temple from the lame man's perspective. How many years had he begged outside the temple? Likely since long before Jesus started His ministry. Surely he had overheard its and pieces of conversations from passers-by about all sorts of things. If he was felt a lot of shame and was somewhat withdrawn he may have pondered his observations alone in his heart. If he was more open and socialized he may have even engaged different ones with questions, dialogging with those who were sympathetic enough to stop and converse with him occasionally. How could he have missed all the disturbing events that had so challenged the status quo of society in and around the temple. Jesus had personally emptied out the temple twice in less than four years which could not have gone unnoticed by one who begged just outside its gate. Many times Jesus passed in and out of the temple Himself and performed many acts of healing in its vicinity. If the lame man had been begging there all that time it would be very hard to miss the stories and rumors. Or maybe this lame man was new to the area. Maybe he was brought in recently by friends in hope of healing only to find out they were too late, that Jesus had been crucified and the era of miracles was apparently over. However, this idea does fit well with verse ten where people were apparently quite familiar with him. Verse two says he was set down every day at the gate of the temple implying this had been going on a considerable time. This man must have had hope stirred within him during the years of Jesus' ministry. He very possibly may have narrowly missed a number of opportunities for healing from Jesus directly. He had to have know something about Jesus and His character from all the circulating reports. He must have been somewhere not terribly far from the events of Passover weekend just past. He must have felt the cold chill of the triumph of legalism and religious traditions that were quickly enforced in and around the temple after that turning point. The hardliners and purists of Judaism likely would have taken strong measures to reinforce the rules and regulations that had been challenged and weakened by Jesus and many who had been influenced by His teachings and example. He must have noticed, if any had passed by him at the gate, the smug attitudes of the many Pharisees and priests on their pious and pompous trips in and out of the temple the past few weeks. There may have been a crackdown in the temple area and very possibly a spat of new regulations to prevent a disruption of the comfortable traditions imposed by the elite. God had to be served with strictness and exactness or the Jews were in danger of bringing down His wrath on them. The temple police may have been required to be re-trained with stricter controls instituted to prevent future outbursts of “celebration” and other such unauthorized activities from occurring in the temple. For a few weeks it appeared that the hardliners had gained the victory they so craved. “Undesirables” were barred from entering the temple area and all discussion of the subversive theology and activities of the renegade Jesus were quickly squelched. Religion was on track once again to be returned to the “old ways”, strict enforcement of the traditions of the elders and strong controls to keep everyone “in line” so they could one again focus on the true “goal” of the nation – achieving perfection and holy living, at least for the “favored” ones. While many of the leaders were openly pleased with the new strictness and reforms, much of the public was experiencing widespread despair and a more intense feeling of hopelessness. The lame man was very likely also deeply affected by this shift in public sentiment. After the crucifixion of Jesus the sense of hope and joy that had been seeping deeper into the hearts of thousands all across the country seemed to have been cruelly snatched away by an elite group of corrupt, self-righteous, arrogant men who only cared about power and wealth for themselves. Jesus was gone, despite swirling mixed rumors of a possible resurrection. His followers were very seldom seen and rumor had it they had stayed mostly holed up together in a large room where they had spent their last night together with Jesus before His death. Talk about clinging to the past! These people seemed to be desperately hanging onto must memories. No deliverance from the Romans had even been attempted by this professed Messiah. He just knuckled under both to the corrupt Jewish leadership and to the Romans when He meekly let them have their way with Him in the garden. For about two months everything was really looking grim and hopeless. The conversations of temple-goers was limited and moody. In fact, attendance of temple services had dropped off dramatically. People were bitter and angry and were even becoming much more cynical. This made begging much more difficult with sympathy and compassion becoming more and more rare among the public. Both emotionally and financially things had become very bleak for the lame man. He was barely surviving and hope was fast dying completely within his heart. But an explosion of rumors and animated comments occurred on the day of the Jewish Pentecost. And the days following that saw an upsurge in new people with a strange glow of joy on their faces frequenting the temple on a regular basis. They were gushing with praise for God and could not suppress their animation and joy. It seemed contagious and indeed their numbers were quickly mushrooming. They were eager to enter the temple and though he wasn't sure what they were doing in there, reports began to leak out of “temple incidents” and complaints of “disturbing the peace”. The Pharisees and other hardliners seemed to be even more ill-tempered than usual. Something new was definitely underway again challenging the status quo. But the lame man could hardly afford to allow his hopes to rise again. They had been disappointed and dashed so many times before and he felt he could not emotionally survive another crushing disappointment. Better to just keep his head down and accept his fate and let the world pass on with whatever it wanted to do without him.

(click here for scene 5)

(click here for lessons from the Gatesitter)

Gatesitter Scene 3

(click here for scene 2)

As far as blessing goes, the lame man had never experienced the impartation of blessing so important to every man received at a Bar-Mitzvah. His father was not really proud of him like other fathers – after all, he was deformed. So he was not seated on a chair and lifted up and honored before all to see by his father as a special and important son. His heart was as crippled as his legs, even from birth. For when his parents saw his crippled legs at birth their anguish and feelings of repulsion began the life-long damage to his soul. Peter and John had only very recently experienced their own full “release” into manhood, not through an earthly Bar-Mitzvah ceremony but through the baptism of the Holy Ghost at Pentecost. This powerful experience that had transformed them along with 118 others had really been the very first Bar-Barakah, which means “son of the blessing”. They were now overflowing with blessing, the very identity and presence of Jesus, the Son of God, living full force inside of them. Everything else was of little importance to them now. Money was valueless except as a tool to bless their rapidly growing “family”. Their primary currency now was praise for God. Their primary mode of relationship was transparent unity and openness with every person in their new family. Their primary emotion was joy – intense gladness to share life together with every believer in Jesus. They had become high-volume receivers of God's blessing and were wide open to dispensing His blessings as they were received. They let Jesus be in charge of who to add to their family, for only Jesus could know what hearts were ready and safe to bring into His body. Peter and John were simply living in joy, celebrating the goodness of God, and staying constantly tuned to their born-again spirit to know who God wanted them to invite into the family next. When they laid eyes on the lame man they saw far more than a crippled man that could use healing so he could walk like everyone else. The Spirit notified them that this man was starved in his spirit and was ripe to invite. Peter and John were together in fellowship and joy. This man was alone most of the time except for the friends who carried him around. But these friends had never carried him to Jesus like the friends of the paralytic had done. This man was ripe for a new identity as well as a new body. This man would become Exhibit A in the case for Jesus' reputation.

(click here for scene 4)

Gatesitter Scene 2

(click here for Scene 1)

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o'clock in the afternoon. And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms. Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, "Look at us." (Acts 3:1-4 NRSV) This man was doing what he usually did; looking for potential donors with enough sympathy to respond to his obvious needs and give him money. This is what he did day in and day out. He may have been returning after the heat of the day just in time for the “rush” when people would be entering the temple for the traditional time of afternoon prayers. Before he had even gotten settled into his usual place he spotted Peter and John with faces different from most people he was used to seeing. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to tag anyone with this much potential he hit them up for a hand-out. The response that he received was not exactly what he was expecting, but got his attention more than his typical interaction with passer-bys. Instead of dropping a few coins into his cup to quiet their conscience and hurrying along to avoid further contact, Peter and John stopped in their tracks and insisted on a full face, deliberate interaction. They refused to settle for a hurried, impersonal excuse to avoid one whom most people preferred to ignore. They “looked intently” at him and requested his undivided attention before offering him something much better than what he was looking for. In effect they were saying, “Look at us! Allow your mind to focus on the present with all of its pain and disappointment. But also focus outside yourself for hope and contrast. Give us the gift of your undivided attention and you will prepare yourself to receive the gift of the very presence and power of Jesus. “We have this gift within us. It is the most valuable possession on earth and we are eager to give it to you. This gift is the blessing of your identity that Jesus wants to give you. It is much more than healing your legs as valuable as that may be; it is making you full, rich in confidence and joy, satisfied in your soul. And His presence will cause you to realize the fulfillment of all the deepest longings God has planted inside of you.” And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened. With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God; (Acts 3:7-9 NAS95) Peter and John physically engaged with him with gusto and with joy. It says the seized him by his right hand. Maybe he had timidly, fearfully held out his hand to them hoping to receive some pittance of money. But in a sudden gesture of hope and with anticipation on their faces, together they seized his hand and pulled hard on him raising him not only onto his feet but out of darkness and despair into delirious joy and freedom. His body was immediately healed to match the healing of his soul and he was now empowered to become a witness along with them of God's amazing grace, goodness and power. What is recorded next is very interesting and significant. First of all he entered the temple with Peter and John, something he had never before been able or allowed to do even though he was a Jew. Because of his lameness he was barred from entering the temple courts and participating in the worship of his people's God. But now, with wild abandon and undignified expressions of wild joy he entered the temple “walking and leaping and praising God,” something you would likely not find anyone else doing in this solemn place. In fact, it was so out of place that it is interesting to note that the people could only observe him “walking and praising God”, not leaping. This was so far beyond acceptable behavior they could not even bring themselves to admit that it was really happening right in front of them. “...and they were taking note of him as being the one who used to sit at the Beautiful Gate of the temple to beg alms, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.” (Acts 3:10) People were trying to label him with his old identity. They were filled with wonder and amazement not only at his physical healing but that it was even possible for someone to receive such a radical new identity after so many years of his previous depressed, hopeless identity. No wonder he was clinging to Peter and John. He was under tremendous pressure to discount his new identity received from the blessing he had just experienced. He felt a great need to stay very close to those who understood their own new identities until he was stabilized enough in his own experience. He was an infant in need of nurture and protection from those who had just assisted in his new birth.

(click here for scene 3)