Random Blog Clay Feet: June 09, 2007
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Saturday, June 09, 2007

Ask - Beg!

I don't know exactly how many years I have been reading Oswald's devotional book but this morning I think I got one of his points for the first time. Somehow before it slipped past me. Maybe the context of my life and the experience of people around me caused me to perceive it today.

Ask if you have not Received. There is nothing more difficult than to ask. We will long and desire and crave and suffer, but not until we are at the extreme limit will we ask. A sense of unreality makes us ask. Have you ever asked out of the depths of moral poverty? “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God...,” but be sure that you do lack wisdom. You cannot bring yourself up against Reality when you like. The next best thing to do if you are not spiritually real, is to ask God for the Holy Spirit on the word of Jesus Christ (see Luke 11:13). The Holy Spirit is the One Who makes real in you all that Jesus did for you.

This reminds me of several things that have become high in my attention over the past few years. “A sense of unreality” is something that haunts me on a regular basis and makes me more intense to discover and experience true reality. I have come to realize that nearly all of the atmosphere around me mentally and spiritually is geared to deceiving me and creating a false reality that is then enforced by the arbitrary forms of control and government that we are so familiar with. This is true in society, in church and in families. But the reality in heaven and that the rest of the universe lives in is so much different. That is the real reality that Jesus came to reveal and attract us to when He crashed into our realm of false “reality” to shatter our paradigms and challenge our assumptions.

But because this reality is out of our natural reach, the point is well made that we cannot bring ourselves up against Reality when we like. We cannot repent just whenever we get around to it. It is a gift from God induced by His kindness and we have to act on it, respond to it while we are in its presence and our hearts are conscious of it. It is the function of the Holy Spirit to draw our minds and hearts into this realm of true reality.

“For every one that asketh receiveth.” This does not mean you will not get if you do not ask (cf. Matt. 5:45), but until you get to the point of asking you won't receive from God. To receive means you have come into the relationship of a child of God, and now you perceive with intelligent and moral appreciation and spiritual understanding that these things come from God.

This is the part that I have missed every time before. It suddenly hit me forcefully this time the difference between getting what I ask for in prayer and receiving it. That may seem obvious after it is noted, but I now see there is a world of difference between getting something and receiving it, with lots of implications in all kinds of other areas of my life. I can get lots of things and answers to prayer and problems solved and..., but to receive is much more a spirit, an attitude, a distinct shift in thinking and relationship. To receive is to make a deliberate choice to enter into a submissive, appreciative and bonding relationship with the one I receive from. It puts more of my focus on my attitude toward the giver instead of my focusing on what I am getting. It implies that receiving something draws my attention to the nature and character and the reasons of the one that has a desire for this relationship with me, whereas just getting something from someone often means that I am focused on what I want, what I crave – a selfish orientation of thinking and way of life.

Until I come to the place where I intentionally enter into a spirit of deliberate receiving of what God has for me I will be more interested in asking for what I am focused on, what I think I need, rather than trusting Him to reveal to me and provide for me what would really satisfy and that I may likely know nothing about yet.

This shift in focus I believe is the transition in my relationship with God from an external-oriented, self-focused one to engaging my heart and becoming vulnerable with Him. It is entering more into the life of faith which is a heart-response to One who is worthy of being trusted because of His nature and character, not so much because of my perception of circumstances attributed to or blamed on Him.

“If any of you lack wisdom....” If you realize you are lacking, it is because you have come in contact with spiritual reality; do not put your reasonable blinkers on again. “Ask” means beg. Some people are poor enough to be interested in their poverty, and some of us are like that spiritually. We will never receive if we ask with an end in view; if we ask, not out of our poverty but out of our lust. A pauper does not ask from any other reason than the abject panging condition of his poverty; he is not ashamed to beg. –– Blessed are the paupers in spirit. (MUHH 6/9)

I really like the emphasis he put on “beg”. It is an indication of an intense desire that involves my passion to a level I have never gone before. Passion can be extracted from our hearts in times of extreme desperation. I believe that is why God allows us to get into circumstances that put great pressure on us, not to hurt us though it feels very painful, but to get us in touch with our real heart and to awaken the passion that He implanted in there originally. Passion is heart-stuff and I believe God is primarily heart-oriented. This is often very foreign and frightening to us because we relate religion mostly to head knowledge and external performance. But until I allow my heart to awaken and become aflame with a passion to know God intimately and live in His presence, I will continue to feel dissatisfied and hungry and all the other symptoms of a starving heart.

When I come into the awareness of my desperate need and poverty of spirit, and give up on my own resources and solutions and fixes; when I find myself in the condition of the people described in Jesus' Blessings on the Mount in Matthew 5. Then I can enter into reality, I can beg unashamedly and I can enter into the attitude of a receiver which is really the attitude of a lover.

I like the warning that Chambers gives here, ”do not put your reasonable blinkers on again.” I am so in the habit of my old mindset that I must be cautious about falling back into old patterns of relating. When my passion for God makes me squirm with embarrassment about what people will think about me, or my failures cause me to doubt the reality or effectiveness of God's work in me, I must remember to ask God who I really am, to receive His answer in my soul and then live in that context. I cannot trust in my old rules of reason that set off flashing blinkers of warning against my new ways of thinking or lifestyle. I have to keep my mind and heart free of the lies that sabotage what God is doing in me and trust Him to protect and guide me through the confusion and imbalance that I feel during this time of transition.

God, teach me more how to live from my heart and to live in the attitude of a real receiver. This is a real weak area of my character, but you are faithful and will finish what you have started in my life. Thank-you so much for your kindness, your tolerance and your patience with me. Show me today how to live and seek glory, honor and genuine reality in your presence.