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I am referring to the most affectionate and adoring creature that has ever laid eyes on me – my cat George. I have come to realize that he is a special gift from God to help me understand a little better the feelings that God Himself has for me. This gift is apparently to be soon interrupted for a time, but I have no doubts based on what I have learned about what God is really like, that I will someday see George again and enjoy his company permanently.
I will not take the time to write his eulogy before his time is up, at least not quite yet. But I thought I would just share on my blog what is currently happening. I think that he probably has some type of cancer that had demonstrated itself in the growing tumor on his nose. He has been becoming weaker over the past few months and is now failing to eat much or even get around. He spent the last day or so just lying on the floor in our bedroom but came out in the evening to get up into my chair.
As I shared a couple weeks ago in the men's group, I have very deep feelings and attachment for this companion that creates potential for a lot of pain. I never know how I will respond to a death in my family. I suppose it has a lot to do with how much it is expected and what kind of relationship I have with them. But death is still our greatest enemy and I can't wait until it is eliminated from the universe forever.
In the meantime I will continue to turn my attention to the Source of life who is greater than death itself and is, in fact, the reality of resurrection Himself. In my study, or more accurately my absorption, of Romans I am getting into the end of chapter 8 which is very appropriate for this situation. It is one of the clearest declarations of assurance in the whole Bible that there is nothing but nothing that can keep any one of us separated from the love of God, the unstoppable passion of God that craves to draw every one of us into personal and fulfilling intimacy with His heart. George's impending death, though it will likely be very painful for me, will be buffered and shared by my best Friend who has the power to remove the sting of death. He holds the trump card in this game and at the right time He will play it in favor of everyone who allows His love to infiltrate their hearts.
George has taught me a great deal about unconditional love and devotion. Over the past few years he has been more and more affectionate and sometimes literally follows me ever place I walk. He amazes me with his consistent positive attitude in spite of all the pain he may be feeling inside. Even as he is wasting away and growing thinner each day he continues to respond with purring and affection whenever I come to him. That is a lesson I know I need to remember myself.
I will miss George painfully and deeply, but I know that Jesus feels the pain with me. There is nothing too small that affects my peace that He will not notice and respond to. I will grow through this pain and will remember with great fondness all the years we have enjoyed together. And I look forward with hope to the final termination of all pain, all suffering and all death forever. Maranatha.
