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For me, I think dance is so closely related to being a true expression of my heart that my deep inhibitions in this area are simply reflective of my unreadiness and lack of synchronization with the hearts of those around me. When people with whom I have unspoken but unresolved tension ask me to dance with them it is like asking my heart to pretend that everything is OK between us when it is not. In a way it is like asking someone to have sex when you are not in a committed marriage relationship with them.
Maybe that is why dancing in general is so much of an issue in religion. Dancing is very much a form of intimacy with others, and in the world it is often the synchronization that is used as a precursor to sex outside of marriage. But that is not the only thing that it can be used for. Dance has received a very bad rap from many Christians because it is only associated in their minds with inducing people into illicit relationships. But that is the counterfeit of something very real, legitimate and powerful that could and should be experienced when living in the reality of God's ways of relating. Just because we spot a counterfeit does not mean that everything that looks anything like it is wrong too. That kind of thinking is fear-based and is Satan's means of keeping us away from the very things that can bring us the most healing.
Of course, there are quite a number of different ways of dancing and different reasons for doing so. And just because we engage in what we consider to be legitimate kinds of dance does not necessarily make them true or healthy for us. It can just as easily become an external, forced symptom that we try to artificially engage in to make us look good just like any other form of “works” righteousness. Even if we think we are completely comfortable with it does not mean that our heart is fully engaged and is free of dissent and friction between us and those we are dancing with.
My heart has been telling me that it wants to dance and has been doing so for many years. When I participated in a worship team for a couple of years I felt the pull of the Spirit to experience dancing with God. I began to realize that there was a very important part of my being that was disengaged and that God was awakening a hunger in me that He had implanted in humanity at creation. But my heart strongly pulls back every time I get close to this powerful form of expression and if I override my reservations with my left brain and join in dancing in a group my heart simply goes into freeze mode and allows the override to do whatever it decides. But while my body may be going through the motions, I am not enjoying the heart to heart synchronization that is supposed to be the basis for dance in the first place. I am only going through the motions to keep peace and satisfy someone else's insistence for me.
As I try to listen to what my heart is telling me about this, I realize that what it really wants is to experience and enjoy the intensity of closeness with a number of other hearts first that would then cause me to spontaneously and freely engage in dancing with them in joy without inhibitions or fears. I do not want just an external exercise no matter how convincing it may appear. Oh, those kinds of dance can certainly make people feel much better and can even lead to more bonding so that they can get closer to the real motives. But my heart keeps insisting that I get the horse in front of the cart and not settle for cheap substitutes.
This is not a head decision, because my head is much more pragmatic about it and simply wants to keep peace between me and others. But inside, my heart says that for dance to be real and to have the powerful and positive effect on me and my relationships with others, that I need to be much closer to being in unity of spirit with those whom I allow myself to synchronize with in this way.
It feels even scary to expose these feelings into writing. Not only am I afraid of censure and condemnation from those who severely disapprove of dancing in general but I am afraid of being misunderstood or pressured in this area. The heart is a very sensitive and vulnerable thing and is often very frightened by disclosure. But at the same time I am getting a better picture of the quandary that God is in trying to prepare us to live in full synchronization with Him for eternity. We have so many stupid and tenacious ideas about religion and God that are false that if He were to try to engage us in the activities and joy of heaven in our present mindset we would simply have a total meltdown in our resistance to Him. In fact, that is exactly what hell will be all about.
So in a way I am already experiencing hell and trying to get free from it now in preparation for being fit for heaven. Heaven is where we live fully and freely from our hearts without resistance and with our spirits fully synchronized with everyone around us. In that state of being we will be able to dance, sing and engage in every way possible with others without any inhibitions, fears or regrets. We will know the full meaning of joy and peace as we live in the intimate presence of the Source of all joy and aliveness.
But to enjoy that for eternity I must begin to experience it here and now. It is part of the healing process involved in the plan of salvation. For salvation is all about the healing of the heart and correcting the lies of the mind. The Spirit of God is working to move my toward a life of total freedom in Christ, a freedom from inhibitions, from fear, from resistance toward the joys that God designed for me. I am often very frustrated at how slow I am to release my resistance and I wonder if this healing will ever take deep root in my life. But I also have to remember that it is God's responsibility to finish the process that He began in my life and I have to trust Him to continue whatever He needs to do to bring me into full harmony with His heart.
