Sleeping Pain

I just read about Jesus' closest friends sleeping while Jesus needed them the most to pray for Him in the garden. Undeniably they hurt His feelings far deeper than the rough treatment of the Romans who acted mostly in ignorance. We fault the disciples for sleeping instead of praying and resisting the urge to doze. But I am the same way. And if so, I must have a similar effect on His heart and emotions if He considers me a close friend.

I often feel like dozing off to avoid painful situations or to grapple with difficult spiritual growth. It's easier for most of us to sleep a little longer than to struggle out of bed in response to God's quiet call to seek His face early before the distractions of the day overtake and consume our attention.

The ones closest to Him had the ability to inflict the most pain to His heart with what, on the surface, would appear to be the most non-violent means. He begged them repeatedly to watch and pray. I don't understand very well all the implications of those words but I believe He wants me to. It has something to do with coming into sympathy with His feelings and His perspective. It must be a means by which I can contribute to His joy and enter into a deeper understanding of His heart and emotions. Is this the “sufferings of Christ” that Paul referred to that he was filling up? (Col. 1:24) Is this suffering being misunderstood, abandoned, let down by His most trusted friends?

When I indulge in a critical spirit of others am I sleeping spiritually? Am I sleeping with the enemy? What does “watch” mean? Watch Jesus suffer in my place?