Plumbing Problems

4/10/06 My life feels a lot like my plumbing project. I just worked 1½ days to solder together a network or manifold of pipes and valves for a new filter and water softener in my basement. My intentions were noble and my ideas fit our needs, but I ended up with multiple leaks that are very difficult to repair and a ruined, expensive filter head. It seems like no matter how much I learn about healing ministries I can't stop the leaks springing up in my life. I sense that maybe many of my persistent prayers may be misdirected but I can't seem to get in focus whatever it is that needs to be in focus. I am suspicious of a virus in my internal focusing software that deeps me constantly misaligned like a telescope that doesn't quite lock in on the right spot. Old habits and weaknesses from childhood are reasserting themselves but I feel caught between two worlds. I believe the old reactionary legalistic and culturally acceptable methods of dealing with these issues (like TV addiction) are suspect at best and usually counterproductive – they were when used on me. But not being mentored in better ways to deal with them I feel stuck in a doorway between two systems of thinking, struggling to move to the other side but never getting there. I need intervention. I need a master plumber to teach me higher skills and encourage me. Or maybe I need to give up and let the plumber do it all for me. Somehow though, I think I'm supposed to learn some things in the process so I can eventually help mentor others who are stuck where I am now.