Good Negative Prayers?

I am thinking that we often begin our prayers to God by expressing the negative feelings of our heart, not so much because they are the best prayers or that God needs to answer them (whatever that might mean) but because it is our way of transitioning from our head to our heart. Effective prayers must come from our heart. Intellectualized prayers are not of much use to man or God, though our churches and lives are filled with them. But what God is most interested in and responds to are prayers that come from deep within our soul. The deeper we are into our heart, the more in touch we are with our real selves when we pray, the easier it is for us to really connect to God and for Him to respond to us.

I was thinking today about what I wrote in my last post about negativity and this idea of negative praying came to my mind. I jotted down the thought some time ago that when we pray our fears we may be worshiping them by reinforcing them instead of God's words about us. But many of the Psalms are quite negative and sometimes even violently so. Was David wrong in penning all this negativity? Or is there something more I need to look at here?

As I thought more about it I realized the importance of praying from the heart and how that often may need to start by learning to be transparently honest about what we are feeling. That very often means telling God how bad we feel or how angry we are or how unfair our situation seems right now. This is very much like many of David's psalms and is our way of getting into our heart instead of just our head initially.

The problem comes, I believe, when we get in the habit of staying there in our negative thoughts and not moving past that to get into God's perspective. While it is very important for us to go into our heart for more effective praying, it is equally important to pay attention to the messages we are giving our heart while still in that “state of mind”. When we fail to move on into the arena of faith and accept the offer of the Spirit to see things from God's perspective, we may then find ourselves reinforcing our negative thought patterns and then planting seeds of darkness that will take root and bear like fruit again. Instead, after expressing our perspective and going into our heart by honest expressions of our emotions, we should then listen and also express God's thoughts and feelings about the situation. When we do that we may find ourselves, like David, more often ending up our prayers as praise sessions and celebrations of God's goodness, faithfulness and lovingkindness instead of limping "help me" prayers.

Maybe that is one reason why reading the Psalms is so effective for overcoming depression and discouragement, because they force us not only to express our anger and frustrations openly but to also take into account God's point of view and begin speaking words of hope and confidence to our heart while it is still wide open before God.

So I believe there is a place for expressing our negative feelings, particularly when talking directly to God in private, personal communion with Him. It is an effective way to allow our heart to be heard and feel safe to be more open and vulnerable as we realize that God is interested and willing to listen to our side of the story. This is true in our relationships and conversations with each other. When we take the time to really listen to someone and acknowledge their feelings or frustrations they are then often much more willing to listen to us as we share our thoughts and suggestions with them. But from the other side, it is important to not short-circuit the relationship by cutting off the discussion before giving the other person a chance to respond after unloading on them when we need to vent.

The same is true when we talk with God. He is certainly big enough and not threatened in the least by any of our venting or outbursts. But we need to equally give Him a chance to bring in His healing and give us the change of vision and heart that will bring us the peace that we so desperately need. This kind of two-directional praying will allow our hearts to grow and thrive and increase our rate of maturing.

This is not to say that all of our prayers need to start out negatively. The key I believe is more about being honest about what is in our heart at the moment than what it is we say. It is just as true that when we are feeling joyful, excited, filled with awe or any other number of human emotions that we should express these spontaneously to God as well. God wants intimacy with us and that means sharing everything with Him in full honesty and transparency. Getting there is the process of Christian growth that we are all going through and the goal is to move up the levels of maturity so that we can not only be closer to God but can be used by Him to nurture and care for the hearts of others who are less able to sense His presence or even trust Him yet.

Am I just trying to justify hanging on to excuses for negative thinking? Or is this something that God accepts or even encourages as part of our growing process? What do you think?

Blessing vs. Negativity

There is a convergence taking place right now of many threads of wisdom from various times and sources. Bits of open-hearted conversations with those close to my heart, revelations by the Spirit during my times of study and insights from things I have read and heard from other people inspired by the same Spirit. It feels like the little swelling upward of water creating noticeable waves when two currents of water come together. But it is sometimes so subtle and complex and heart-based that it is impossible for my left brain to capture much of it into language. But then it is afraid that if it is not recorded that it will become lost again.

Sounds like a temptation of fear, that does. In fact, that very thing is one of the parts of this convergence that I have been warned about just a few minutes ago. While reading My Utmost I began to sense this welling up of convergence and near the end of the passage for today this temptation to fear was addressed directly. Then as I returned to Romans 2 to see what the Spirit had for me this morning the current continued to swell and strengthen as I meditated on yet another facet of how I need to correctly relate to God. The difficult part that I struggle with is how to keep my heart as open and aware of its impressions and feelings while at the same time engaging my left brain to attempt its interview with the right side to try and write it all down. If that doesn't make any sense to you, that's OK. I am speaking from the context of what I have learned over the past few years about living from my heart and how the physical brain functions in relationship to my awareness and my relationships both with others and with God.

I again found myself speaking words that were meant as much for my own admonition yesterday as for the benefit of the close friend that I was speaking with. It usually is never intended that way – at least by me – when I am speaking the words, but after they come out I am immediately convicted strongly that my own heart and mind need to apply my counsel even more strongly to myself than what I want for the person I am talking with. That is not to say that they cannot benefit from them, it is just that the principle of “you spot it – you got it” once again kicks in and I need to receive for myself what I am being impressed to share with someone else.

The advice in consideration here was just received from someone else earlier in the day as they relayed how God had convicted them on this point. It involves the issues of blessing and our relationships with our children as well as our natural disposition towards negative thinking, speaking and even praying. It was pointed out through a story of someone else's experience that God is not real interested in answering negative prayers for our children but that is how we often pray. That would explain much of our frustration as to why it seems that God is not answering our prayers so often.

As the story was told to me, the mother changed her praying from talking to God about all of her children's problems to prayers of positive blessings and affirmations over her children. Almost immediately her children noticed the difference in attitude in their mother and their own lives began to respond positively. They began to desire and even wait for their blessing before leaving home each morning and their attitudes began to noticeable change. God was able to begin working in their hearts in ways that were not seen before as the tenor of the parents prayers shifted from a focus on their faults to intentional expressions of faith.

This really hit me between the eyes because it is one of my weakest areas and a real blind spot for me. When I reflect on the nature, not only of many of my prayers but of my general subjects of conversation and even writing, I see a strong undercurrent that often draws me toward focusing on the negative and discussing the down side. I still believe there needs to be a certain amount of acknowledgment of real issues and problems, but to dwell there and make the problems my center of gravity keeps me too far from the life-giving atmosphere of the reality of God's redemption. Oswald Chambers addresses this repeatedly in his writings and I need to be reminded of it often. Our lives need to be based on the foundational reality of redemption; everything we do, think and say needs to be within that context and based on that paradigm.

As I shared with one of my daughters yesterday this idea of praying blessings instead of just problems, the words had no sooner left my mouth than I realized that I needed very much to live this out with every one of my children and family members if I want to see more of God's influence in their lives. To even say this publicly is feeling quite vulnerable because I expect to hear potential accusations when people don't see me doing what I am saying. But then, that's yet another example of negative thinking that tries to prevent me from living in the positive, life-giving presence of God on a daily basis. So I will choose to speak out what the Spirit is speaking in and see what happens from here.

This morning as I read My Utmost I realized that God wants to reinforce this message to my heart. “My say-so is to be built on God's say-so. God says – 'I will never leave you,' then I can with good courage say – “The Lord is my helper, I will not fear –“, I will not be haunted by apprehension. This does not mean that I will not be tempted to fear, but I will remember God's say-so. I will be full of courage, like a child 'bucking himself up' to reach the standard his father wants. Faith in many a one falters when the apprehensions come; they forget the meaning of God's say-so, forget to take a deep breath spiritually. The only way to get the dread taken out of us is to listen to God's say-so.

“...Are you learning to say things after listening to God, or are you saying things and trying to make God's word fit in? Get hold of the Father's say-so, and then say with good courage – 'I will not fear.' It does not matter what evil or wrong may be in the way, He has said – 'I will never leave you.'” (MUHH 6/5)

As I again opened my Bible to see what was in Romans 2 for me this morning I found the same theme continued in my lesson today. I looked at verse 5 and asked, “what are we being stubborn about that causes us to store up wrath for ourself?” As I continued to read on further I saw a pattern emerging along the same lines as my lessons about negative thinking that God is working with me on.

When I continue to choose to dwell on the negative side of problems and have a critical spirit, I am found to be among those described in this chapter as not seeking (filling my thoughts with) glory, honor and immortality, but among those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth. The truth is the positive power of God to transform lives and breath life into our dead and dying souls. The truth is that God is glorious and wants to fill us with His glory. The truth is that honor is uplifting and when I focus on honoring not only God but my children and my wife and my friends in words of blessing and affirmation I will begin to see more life being passed through me to them and our relationships will begin to thrive and grow much deeper.

If instead I obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation (verse 8), I will experience and produce more tribulation and distress which in fact is the very act of storing up wrath for myself to be revealed fully in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God (verse 5).

What I am seeing here is the contrast in basic attitude and the direction of vision between these two groups of people described in this chapter. One group is religious, they claim to have “the Law” which means they believe they are living according to God's rules and deserve to be saved. Paul even says they bear the name of God, they rely on the Law and boast in God, they know His will and approve the things that are essential, being instructed out of the Law. They are confident that they are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of the immature, having in the Law the embodiment of knowledge and of the truth (verses 17-20).

That certainly sound like a classic description of a “good Christian” today. And yet these are the very ones previously revealed as those who are stubborn and unrepentant, “selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation.” That is frightening because I see myself mirrored all too clearly in this revelation. These are not people who are obviously sinners like those described in the previous chapter, but are people who are successful and confident and in positions of teaching others wisdom from “the Law”. Yet in the midst of all their religious piety and sincerity they are storing up wrath in themselves to be revealed in the day of revelation. I do not want to stay in this category.

What I am hearing here is that negative thinking and speaking is not the focus of those others described in this passage, but they are ones who are lead to repentance by the kindness of God. They do not think lightly of the “riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience. They persevere in doing good; they seek for glory and honor and immortality and they receive eternal life (verses 4-7).

What I also see here is a parallel to verses 24,26 and 28 in chapter 1 where God “gives them over” to what they have chosen for themselves. In chapter 2 God is still giving people over to their insistent choices, both to tribulation and distress or to eternal life. Those who stay in stubbornness and look to other sources for life will be “given over” to the natural consequences of those choices. Just as true, those who pursue life, who seek the characteristics found in God and persevere in doing and seeking good will be “given over” to what they have chosen to pursue – eternal life in the presence of the Source of Life and joy.

God ultimately respects our choices in the end. But right now He is pulling out all the stops to try to get us to turn away from death-producing thinking and persevere after life and glory and honor. But God will not force our decision, “for there is no partiality with God.” (v. 11)

God, I hear you this morning. You are talking to my weakness and years of ingrained habits of negative thinking and speaking. But I choose to persevere anyway after You. I believe in your power to transform me into a new thinker who seeks after glory and honor and real life that is forever. I ask you to make me a well of living water overflowing with life and blessing and magnetic hope instead of a source of fear, discouragement and censure. I cannot change myself, God. So I ask you publicly here to do your thing in me, to make me an experiment of your grace, to make me an example of how you do the impossibles. I trust in the power of your word and in your faithfulness.

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