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The first time Moses fled from Egypt for his life he had tried to employ the counterfeit tool of force to accomplish God's purposes. Even though he was loyal to God, while growing up in the system of the world his heart and mind had been deceived to the point where he believed in the idea still popular today that God's role is to give us goals and then add power to our plans to accomplish those goals. Like a country song I couldn't help overhearing on someone's radio yesterday, “God rules the world with a staff and rod – me 'n God, we're a team.”
So after Moses made a spectacular failure trying to free his countrymen with force and was then overcome by fear and terror, he ran for his life into the wilderness expecting to never be seen or heard from again in Egypt. “Then, in a special sense, God undertook his training.... He had yet to learn the lesson of dependence upon divine power. He had mistaken God's purpose. It was his hope to deliver Israel by force of arms. For this he risked all, and failed.”
“In the stern simplicity of the wilderness . . . Moses gained that which went with him throughout the years of his toilsome and care-burdened life,--a sense of the personal presence of the Divine One. . . . When misunderstood and misrepresented, when called to bear reproach and insult, to face danger and death, he was able to endure 'as seeing him who is invisible.'”
What struck me as very significant in this passage was the following result seen in his life after he learned to live with “a sense of the personal presence” of God and had time to develop the characteristics of a shepherd in the desert. By the time he was sent back to Egypt to fulfill God's desires and represent the truth about God before the whole world, he had become one of the world's most skilled examples of living from his heart in sympathy with God.
“He spoke from the heart and it reached the heart. He was accomplished in knowledge and yet simple as a child in the manifestation of his deep sympathies. Endowed with a remarkable instinct, he could judge instantly of the needs of all who surrounded him. . . . Of the man who is noted for his meekness, Christ says, He can be trusted. Through him I can reveal Myself to the world. He will not weave into the web any threads of selfishness.” {SD 94}
That is the real goal and mission of the plan of Salvation for every one of us. That is what I want to become – one who speaks from the heart in a way that reaches other hearts and to be open as a child in my manifestation of deep sympathies.
The text used for this reading was taken from Heb. 11:27 “By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen.” This alerted me to something quite amazing that I have noticed about God for some time now. It often seems the case that God takes our most humiliating and public disasters and transforms them into our most obvious strengths of character. In this case Moses is especially noted in God's “Hall of Notables” (I don't think fame is the best word in God's system) partially listed in Hebrews 11 as the person who did not fear the wrath of the king. I find that amazing after the fact that the greatest apparent failure he experienced was his untimely and shameful night trip fleeing for his life from the wrath of a king who most likely considered Moses the greatest threat to his throne and the ultimate traitor. Nothing could have been more devastating to the career of Moses than to be branded as the coward who had lost all courage while claiming to be working for God and the good of His people
And yet God picked this very focal point of shame in the life of Moses and declares in Hebrews 11 that Moses is to be remembered as one who was not afraid of the king. The contrast between his first scandalous exit and the nobility and courage that he displayed during the now famous exodus from Egypt was due to one key element in his life spelled out clearly in the text - “he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen.”
As I then opened My Utmost for His Highest for today I found it very relevant that this reading too was all about living from the heart. It was almost like a continuation of the heart-lesson that God wants to teach me right now. (The following quotes are from the edited edition of this book as I went off and left all of my study books and papers at another location on my last trip.) As in the previous quotes, there is far more in the original passages that are also excellent and instructive, but for space and time considerations I am only presenting a few of the highlights that really spoke very strongly to me.
“To put my view of His honor ahead of what He is plainly guiding me to do is never right, even though it may come from a real desire to prevent Him from being put to an open shame.... When I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. This will only result in my concluding that His instructions to me were not right.”
At this point I could easily remember many times when I have indulged in debate about following instantly the impulses that I felt from the Holy Spirit. And nearly always I later regretted doing so as I had missed yet another opportunity to bless someone and/or receive a blessing or experience another step of important growth in my life. What I am starting to see here is the constant conflict between the left/intellectual side of my brain where typical “religion” resides fighting with the right/heart-oriented side of my brain trying to live out the quiet but insistent directives of the Spirit. My intellect and knowledge and formula-based religious training and my logical, flesh-dominated mind always wants to interfere with the activities of my heart. It almost seems jealous of the intimate connection that God wants to have with my heart and is always trying to insert itself into that relation. (That painfully reminds me of what I have sometimes tried to do in other people's relationships with each other that I wanted to be a part of.) That is what I see as the “element that is not of God” operating in my own experience.
“Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus Himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can't see anything (see Matthew 14:29). But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can't see the way ahead.”
This penchant to “clear the way mentally” is one of the greatest obstacles I have seen to living from the heart. And if it is not my own mind demanding explanations on how this is all going to work out, there are usually others around ready and eager to ask those kinds of questions before being willing to encourage me to step into a position of faith. We are all probably guilty of being a source of discouragement to someone who is trying to learn to live in this condition of faith from their heart. If I have done that to you, the one who is reading this right now, please forgive me and encourage me to live from my heart in the context and awareness of the constant presence of God. And I want to strongly urge you to also practice listening to the quiet voice of God speaking to your own heart and enjoy the delights of living in His presence.
“Are you debating whether you should take a step of faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can clearly see how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn't. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him? 'Whatever He says to you, do it' (John 2:5).” (My Utmost for His Highest 3/28)
