Jesus had to be about His Father's business and in His Father's house. What is the business of God anyway? Cleansing the house so His Father can live in it. How does He clean house? By removing the pain and condemnation and then filling it with peace and joy. How can we follow Jesus' example of cleaning? Jesus was willing, through unconditional forgiveness and love, to accept all the pain, attacks and abuse and not rejecting it in self-defense or protection. People lash out because they have been lashed themselves and they are attempting to unload their pain. If we don't accept it we force them to keep it and it intensifies. But if we share in the sufferings of Christ we work with Him in cleaning His house so His Father can live in it. We become channels transferring other peoples pain and suffering through us and give it instantly to Jesus thereby demonstrating to them how to give their pain directly to Jesus and become channels of grace themselves.
When I cling to my rights and resist suffering from others, I block the healing grace of God flowing through me in exchange for their pain, shame or abuse. Being a channel has to work both directions.
Every human will in the end be found clinging tenaciously. It is in our nature even though we may be too proud to recognize it. We either will believe in the goodness of God and cling relentlessly to forgiveness and God's acceptance of us as an unshakable fact of redemption, or we will cling to the lies and our doubts about God and try to figure out a formula to save ourself. Or, we may give up trying to save ourself because we are too intimidated by a god whom we can never please or appease enough and we decide to cling to our sins and milk all the pleasure we can out of them.