Grace in Humiliation

Today's reading in My Utmost is bringing more instruction and focus to my heart during this situation. It emphasizes the need for me to draw on the grace of God in the present at all times and under all circumstances. This is how I become a true witness of the ability of God to save me as He says He will.

We make prayer the preparation for work, it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the exercise of drawing on the grace of God. Don't say – I will endure this until I can get away and pray. Pray now; draw on the grace of God in the moment of need. Prayer is the most practical thing, it is not the reflex action of devotion....

...Manifest a drawing upon the grace of God that will make you a marvel to yourself and to others. Draw now, not presently. The one word in the spiritual vocabulary is Now. Let circumstances bring you where they will, keep drawing on the grace of God in every conceivable condition you may be in. One of the greatest proofs that you are drawing on the grace of God is that you can be humiliated without manifesting the slightest trace of anything but His grace. (MUHH 6/26)

I want this to be a description of my life and be demonstrated through me. Obviously I need to draw heavily on grace from God to do this. It is very painful to be humiliated by those you love the most without manifesting the slightest trace of anything but His grace. But we are not promised freedom from pain but grace in our pain – grace that causes us to transcend the pain into a greater glory, not escape the pain by necessarily eliminating its causes. This is a dimension of Christianity that is not popular but much more authentic and compelling when seen by those around. It is not even something we can take pride in but, like Chambers said above, makes even ourselves marvel at what God can accomplish inside of us.

I choose to continue to fill my mind with truth and grace to counteract the ill effects of all the negative thoughts and emotions the enemy has been pressing in on me. I choose to seek God to surround me with an atmosphere that will neutralize the flaming arrows of the enemy seeking to destroy my connection with God and my family. I choose to trust God with the lives and hearts of all of those damaged in this situation and for Him to demonstrate His marvelous and uncanny ability to work everything together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.