Examining the Heart of a Legalist

Romans 2:17-29. I keep reading this every day asking God to show me more of how this applies to me personally. It is so much easier to see how it applies to others in my family or church, but then I remind myself that what I see in others that needs urgent correcting is almost always my own issues that I am blind to seeing in myself very easily. I need the Holy Spirit to open my mind and heart with humility to receive the Word and the Spirit in the process of transformation. One thing I noticed this morning in this description is the fact that all of the activity described here about these good, religious people (17-21) is outbound. I have seen this symptom in my own family generationally and have to deduce that I am very susceptible to it myself even though I have tried to avoid it for many years. I have noticed a pattern in some people that it seems they come to a point where subconsciously they believe there is nothing more for them to learn except for maybe more proof formulas to beef up their defenses of “the truth”. I have heard the comment more than once in the back of a church where someone will say, “well, I don't need to hear these sermons anymore because I already know all the doctrines.” The point is that once a person thinks they have learned all the “facts” and learned to repeat the right answers that there is no more learning to do. I believe this assumption is far more widespread and pervasive than most us realize. It also seems that when this conclusion is arrived at that some people feel under strong obligation to continue to “serve God” and they subtly arrive at the idea that now their primary focus is on teaching others “the truth” and convincing others to conform to their view of doctrines and their spin on the Bible, life, God, etc. Oftentimes this also leads over time to a fixation on one point of doctrine that becomes an obsession for them that they feel compelled to convict everyone else over. Some even develop a very unique focal issue not found in general Christianity or at least out of proportion and become fanatical over that one point, finally believing that if others do not agree with them on this one point they cannot be saved in heaven. When this paradigm is boiled down to its core it appears to be based on the assumption that being saved is primarily a matter of the facts one believes and any “relationship” that might be involved is necessarily contingent on believing the “fact” that this person promotes as the critical one for salvation. These people, I have noticed, are no longer open to really learning anything new unless it supports and reinforces their established and entrenched arguments arranged around them like soldiers protecting their one core favorite “doctrine”. They seem to believe, but not openly, that they somehow have transitioned from learning about God to compelling others to view God and religion exactly in agreement with them or they cannot be open to having much of a relationship with them. They will seem to listen to other views for a time but then you come to realize that they were not listening with an open mind willing to learn or examine their previous assumptions but were only listening with attention to formulating how to present an even stronger argument to convince others that they are already right. The words here in Romans 2 are a very good description of what I have observed over the years. It becomes very frustrating to try to relate to this kind of person for sooner or later you realize that they are unwilling to really listen to anything you have to say if it is not already part of their entrenched “catechism” that they have produced in their own study. Conversation with them becomes only a one-way street at the deeper level and there is no easy entrance to enter into their hearts. They claim a name (just like the Jews), their rely on their knowledge of the Bible and either openly or subtly boast in their superior knowledge of God. They are sure they know what His will is and they are very diligent to assemble many texts, authoritative quotations and “foolproof” arguments to establish their position. They are very confident in their intellectual ability to guide those who can't see the doctrines the way they see them and they are sure they have a corner on “the light of truth”. They believe it is their responsibility to correct those who are so foolish as to not agree with their interpretations and that immaturity simply describes those who don't yet see their truth. They have now arrived at the point in their life where teaching is mainly a one-way street and they don't allow themselves to be taught if something goes against what they have already concluded. As I review all these things I am constantly reminded that though this is a major obstacle for this kind of person to accept anything that they disagree with, it is also a counterfeit for a condition which is very important not to avoid – being settled in the truth. If I am always in doubt as to the validity of everything I believe and in my attempt to avoid the condition described in these verses I am afraid to allow myself to be confident about anything, I will end up being tossed about without root or anchor by every wave of doctrine that comes along (James 1:6). These are the two opposites that tend to enforce each other's positions. So how do I find the real way to live in right relationship to God? How do I avoid becoming unidirectional and isolated from new revelations of truth and corrections by God of false underlying assumptions that I have built my religious thinking on all of my life and assume to be truth? If I see this as a major problem in those around me, I have to assume that I may have at least a strong tendency to do the same thing myself. And if so, how could I even address it myself if it involves a blind spot in my own experience? As I mentioned in my last post on Romans, this kind of person will not easily accept the charge that they are doing the very things they condemn in others. Just because Paul says they are doing those things is not enough to sway them to believe they really have the problems that they point out in others. What kind of “proof” is Paul going to produce to enforce his charges? They want facts, events, dates etc. to be able to examine and refute if possible. He claims that they steal, they commit adultery, they rob temples and that they break the Law. Those are strong words and what does Paul expect to base these charges on? What I believe I see here is that Paul is basing it on the fact that the Bible is true and that if it says the name of God is blasphemed because of us then there are reasons behind that declaration. He may have been able to point out specific facts and events, but that would not make his assertions defendable or even effective. God's word applies universally to every generation alive at the time they read it. It is the work of the gentle Spirit of God to bring specific convictions about events and circumstances and conditions of the heart. What Paul is saying in these first 2 chapters is that every one of us sooner or later will discover ourself under the guilt of sin and disobedience and are all equally in need of God's grace and forgiveness. The condition he is unmasking here is that of those of us who don't realize we are actually hiding our true problems under our attempts to be right with God by performance. The harder we try to look good externally and by intellectual religious knowledge, the more neglected our hearts become and it is in our hurting and empty hearts that sin finds fertile ground for hidden growth. So what is Paul's basis for claiming that those who look very good on the outside are actually guilty of all the things they accuse others of doing? (2:1) It is the Word of God and the principles under which we were created that it is unavoidable. When we focus on our religious advantages and give preference to our externals over the condition of our heart; when we tend toward the condition of believing we are a good source of teaching and instruction for others while failing to equally apply it to ourselves, then we can be certain that the sins we see so clearly in others has some kind of deep roots in our own soul even if the outward manifestations may look different than in those we point the finger at. At first this makes one wonder if it might be better not to have any religious advantages, that maybe it would be just better to live sinfully with abandon so that we could better appreciate and respond to grace. I certainly have had this temptation very strongly sometimes especially when I was a teenager. I thought that it might be much easier to understand the gospel if I had a lot more open sins to be forgiven of and regret. But a fear inside of me prevented me from plunging down that path. I was afraid that if I decided to just throw everything overboard and go out and sin hard and fast and loose that before I might have a chance to repent and be converted that Satan would get me killed and I would be lost before I had a chance to return to God. I also was not too keen on all the consequences that would be unavoidable and the negative long-term effects from making all those bad choices in my detoured attempt to find God. So I chose to take what seemed to be the much harder route of trying to slowly unmask the lies about God in my life while staying in the environment of formal religion even though I sensed that it was the source for most of my problems. In essence, I was trying to throw out the dirty bath water without throwing out the baby if you understand that analogy. What I do see Paul trying to bring out here is the dramatic difference between a head religion that is very convincing, especially to the person performing in it, and a heart religion, or spirituality as I prefer to call it (2:25-29). From my own experience through a lifetime of rule-based religion and compulsive conformity to social expectations in a church atmosphere I have come to believe that most of us don't really know the true definition of the word heart. We think we know and we use the term very easily, but when it comes right down to everyday life, we show in our relationships that we are unaware and out of touch with the part of us that is identified as our heart. I say this because it has been a relatively short time since I started getting in touch and getting familiar with that part of me myself, and I don't think I am unique in this problem. This condition of heart-unawareness is inherent and systemic in performance-based religion. So what is the use for having a religious upbringing if it creates such great liabilities to overcome? That question was inherent in my temptations I have had to throw it all away in favor of enjoying the pleasures of sin and coming back in through a different door if possible. In chapter 3 Paul explores the reasons that we should not thumb our nose at our spiritual advantages even though they often come with a lot of baggage that needs to be unpacked and discarded. And those are ponderings for another post. God, make me a Christian from the inside out. Make my heart Your dwelling place, a comfortable place where You can be at home and express Yourself freely. (next in series)