Random Blog Clay Feet: January 02, 2007
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Living in my spirit

The last couple mornings as I was waking up it seems that I was hearing more clearly with my heart than before. I am starting to be more aware, both of what is going on in that realm and of what is important and not important. The heart realm is where the kingdom of God is lived. It involves very different values and emphasis and perception. It is where God reveals Himself and reveals truth.

I am just starting to perceive the difference between the two worlds. I suppose I will be saying that for a long time as I have already been feeling that for quite awhile. I seems that my perceptions of heart realities often soaks into my mind a bit too late. My life-long training to react in the context of the material oriented world rooted firmly in the externals constantly interferes with my perceptions and desires to live from my heart.

Living from the heart requires very different skills and mental equipment. It operates from different assumptions about others and about myself. I am beginning to understand much more why Jesus said the things He did and why they can never make sense while living in the material external-based reality that the world operates under. I have even seen how the attitudes of our spirits affect not only those around us but also the animals and who knows what else. I am beginning to see how much I am steeped in the use of force in the habits of my spirit without realizing it and how that replicates itself around me causing problems and pain.

Writing these things is somewhat of a problem for me. Writing involves translating from one realm to another and a lot can be lost in translation, especially since reading is another process of translation than is based on the readers internal dictionary of perceptions and meanings that is necessarily different than the one used by the writer. So the writer not only is translating from the feeling, emotion, spirit environment within his own soul to the external, rule-controlled artificial world but he has to find terms that he hopes will be used by others to reverse translate the symbols called words from the external world saturated by the values of the unholy trinity back into ideas and feelings that might somewhat resemble the ideas and emotions and beliefs that he is trying to communicate.

In reality this is impossible to do with a high degree of accuracy. Spirits were created to communicate with spirits directly which is far more efficient than all the multiple translating involved in writing or even in speaking. But sometimes some of the message leaks through in spite of all the potential for misunderstanding. I like what a famous German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote about this in The Cost of Discipleship. He said that we can never really know another person directly. But Jesus knows every one of us perfectly and completely. It is only when we listen to another while at the same time listening in our spirit intently to what Jesus communicates to us about them that our spirits can connect and bond with each other in truth.

Forgiveness is one of the underlying assumptions that is necessary for us to better communicate with each other and understand others even if they are not like-minded with us. When I live in a constant state of forgiveness, not just as a choice some time after an offense which often involves a great struggle to let go of all the accompanying baggage of bitterness and resentment, but when I can live with a mind-set of forgiveness that never allows anything to stick in the first place, I am then equipped much better to not be blinded to what is really happening in someone else's soul in real time. A spirit of continuous forgiveness keeps my heavenly glasses clean so I can see reality without the fog of anger or the mud of resentment clouding my vision.

The attribute of rest in my spirit is an antidote for the addiction to force. Force is one of the primary facets of the kingdom of Satan and the economy of the world. It has permeated every one of us to some degree or another and poisons all our relationships. It is the close companion of fear which is also the primary instrument employed by the dark side. But when I am at peace in my heart and know that I am abiding safely under the shadow of the Almighty; when I choose to rest in my spirit denying my urges to take things into my control and make things happen or people operate according to my personal wishes, then I can be free from the blinding influence of force and cease to bear false witness about my Heavenly Father who never uses force. Our addiction to the use of force to accomplish what we consider good or even what we consider to be in God's best interest is an affront to the reputation of God. Centuries of this practice in the name of Christianity does not make it any more Godly. Force has no place in God's economy and should not be a part of my life. But I will likely continue to practice various forms of force in areas of my life where I have not yet released control to the sovereignty of my Redeemer until I grow into a deeper trust of His love for me.

Living from the heart Jesus gives me requires receiving constant life and energy through my spirit abiding in Him and led by the Holy Spirit. These words are so entangled in worn-out religious jargon that most, including myself, have little concept of the overwhelming freedom and power they truly represent. Learning to live in this way involves the process of maturing which takes time, mistakes and mentoring. Most of the places where the Bible refers to perfection and being perfect would be actually more accurately translated mature according to the original language. This has greatly reduced the misconceptions and guilt and fears surrounding much of my confusion about perfection heaped on my during my formative years. In fact, most of the things I learned at the heart level were somehow skewed creating a lot of damage in my soul and a lot of lies about God. Not all the facts were necessarily wrong, but it was more the spirit in which they were taught that caused my mind to misinterpret them and create a fearful image of God in my mind.

Fear always distorts truth. Force always violates freedom. Condemnation is a counterfeit for conviction. External behavior modification parades as repentance. Technical verification and an obsession for proof-texting often preempts and trumps a meek and humble spirit. Love is the embodiment of all other aspects involved in living from the heart. The Kingdom of Heaven operates totally on the basis of love and love alone. It involves living more in the spirit than in our left-brain intellect. It puts us back into the delicate balance both internally and socially that we were created to thrive in and enjoy. “But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)