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Saul's passion was of great interest to the heart of God even though it was seriously misdirected. Because God looks on the heart much more than the outward appearance, even when the outward appearances included killing and terrorizing God's children, God saw tremendous potential in Saul that was revealing his true heart of passion for God.
When Jesus spoke to Saul on the road, He did not enforce the guilt and shame that Saul naturally felt when he realized that he had been fighting against the very God he thought he had been honoring. We might naturally think that God needed to make sure that Saul realized the extent of his rebellion before “letting him off the hook”. But God does not treat people that way. Guilt and shame and blame are all part of the kingdom of darkness and tools of the enemy that God does not employ against us. No, instead Jesus simply told him the next step to take in preparation for his inauguration.
After spending three days like Jesus in the heart of the earth in blindness and allowed to review his life and beliefs in light of his immense storehouse of intellectual knowledge of the Scriptures, Saul was sent a messenger, a brother from the very people he had been trying to persecute and kill to relay to him the vision, the true identity of Saul's heart to him. God “resurrected” Saul from his three days of darkness by casting for him a glorious vision of who he really was inside despite all the external activities that seemed to contradict those characteristics.
God cared deeply about Saul and had implanted the gift of passion into his heart before he was even born. God had put that there for him to use in the service of God and just because Satan had twisted the outlet of that passion to be used against the people of God did not thwart God's plans for Saul but actually brought even more glory to His reputation. Along with unusual intensity of passion Saul also had clear, sharp mental abilities and had filled his memory with enormous amounts of the Word of God. That too was in God's plans for him even though Satan had used that intellect through deception to be distorted and twisted in its applications.
When Paul later wrote that all things work together for good he was speaking from experience. And he was also speaking first hand when he talked about vessels of wrath and vessels of mercy in Romans 9. For part of the vision that Jesus related to Ananias for brother Saul was that he had been chosen to be a chosen vessel for Him. Up to that point in time Saul had been a vessel of wrath and had been hardening his heart like Pharaoh and suffering the increasing pain of doing so. He had been filled with the spirit like that of Ishmael, the first-born son of Abraham born of the flesh and full of pride and independence. Like Jacob he had been loved of God but instead of responding to and receiving that love he had been trying to earn it through works of the Law all of his life and methods of his own devising.
But God, who is full of mercy and because of His own passion for the heart of Saul allowed Saul to mature his evil plans only up to a certain point and when the time was right, when his heart was ripe, he revealed Himself to the amazement of Saul, He introduced Himself to the heart of Saul and, as they say, the rest is history. God had endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction – prepared by Saul himself. But now Saul, through the mercy of God, became Paul, a vessel of mercy. And He did so to make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory. (Romans 9:23)
What can I say – what an incredible, awesome God we have! And if He is that kind and patient and persistent in His pursuit of the heart of one of the most ferocious persecutors of His church, surely He has something planted in my heart waiting to be exposed and used to make known the riches of His glory as well.
This causes me to think about something that right now is extremely politically unpopular. But I believe that we should pray for the eyes of heaven to see even religious fanatics from even such sources as Muslim cultures that the world considers terrorists. God sees things very differently than we do and if we insist on judging people using the world's paradigms we will end up protesting against God's apparent nonsense when He invites us to participate in capturing them for His service at most surprising times and in ways that may frighten us.
But if we are to be true followers of the radical God of love and patience and kindness that we learn about from the life of Saul/Paul, then we are going to have to look at others with radically different paradigms and begin to view others through the eyes of the Spirit of God instead of our fears and prejudices. The passion of those who claim to believe in God may just be the tip of the iceburg of something God intends to amaze the world with in the life of someone just like Saul, the terrorist of the early Christian church.
If you look further in the story of Saul you will notice the great reluctance and fear in the answer that Ananias gave to God when he was called to go lay his hands on Saul and heal him of his blindness. Ananias apparently thought Jesus had forgotten what Saul was like or maybe had confused his identity with someone else. It may appear almost ludicrous to us how Ananias was willing to argue with God about His plans for Saul, but are we not even more devoid of faith and hope and love in our unwillingness to view others in the light of heaven?
In the story of Saul it is seen later that when he tried to join himself with the leaders of the Christian church that their fears will still so intense that none of them were willing to trust the work of transformation in his heart that God had effected. It was only due to the bold faith of Barnabas and his courage to believe in the goodness and power of God that enabled him to come alongside of Saul and embrace his former enemy as a brother even when it was most unpopular. It was the open-minded spirit of this “son of encouragement”, which is what the name Barnabas means, that brought encouragement to the heart of Saul and opened the door for him to become accepted and received by the rest of the less-believing leaders. In fact, I personally believe that quite possible Barnabas had been praying for Saul for some time for God to intervene in the life the this archenemy of the church. Barnabas was willing to view Saul through the eyes of heaven instead of through the eyes of fearfulness and so God was able to use him to bring reconciliation and glory to the name of God.
I find it quite interesting that even though all of these men (and women) had been baptized with the Holy Ghost not that long before and had been speaking with boldness the truth about God and His amazing power to change lives, when faced with putting their own lives on display in this situation where their mouths were, so to speak, at least to this extent they were suddenly very reluctant to trust in God's unusual ways but instead still demonstrated the symptoms of fear. Fear is maybe the single most powerful element of the enemy that he uses against us to keep us away from experiencing the full life of faith, joy, love and fellowship that God wants for us.
These disciples were still growing in grace and still had a certain amount of fear that they needed to let go. I find it encouraging that even though they displayed such apparent lack of faith in His work in Saul's life that God was still in their lives and was using them in the power of His Spirit. But I find it even more encouraging to see the example of Ananias, the reluctant but willing messenger to embrace Saul in his darkness to bring him into fellowship with the people of God. And I am encouraged to see the example of the high-risk taker Barnabas who had a bigger picture of God who he believed to be well able to turn around a hard-nosed terrorist into a passionate worshiper of the One who is the essence of passion, Jesus Christ Himself.
As I think about these example of people that God delighted in and saw hidden potential in I am inspired with hope for myself. When I look inside there are times when I sense an immense reservoir of passion that has very strong barriers built around it. But every once in awhile some of that passion leaks out and sometimes it even feels confusing because it is so inconsistent with what I have been trained to be. But I believe that all passion originated with the God of passion and when the time is right and the heart is ripe God will step in and surprise everyone with His amazing grace and His unusual ways. For He does so to make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory, even us, whom He also called.
