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When we start throwing these words around the idea of “spirits”, as in ghosts or angels, also comes into the question. They definitely are a factor that strongly plays into this issue at times, but what I am focusing on here is the immediate sense or flavor or “spirit aroma” that is created and surrounds our own unique individual spirit and the effect that it has on both ourselves and others. This is an area that is often completely outside the awareness of many people. Because they are not aware of their own spirit or may even be hostile to even believing that it exists, they lose the ability and cognizance of what is going on in this realm, how they are being powerfully influenced by others and how much of an effect they are really having on their surroundings.
Some in the spiritual healing ministries have drawn pictures to illustrate the condition many of us find ourselves in with locked hearts. They sketch a drawing of a person with something like a force shield around their body that has been put in place to keep others from getting to their heart. This is usually erected very early in life as a barrier in our attempt to keep our hearts from being further damaged after repeated abuse and pain. It is a natural part of our human experience to act this way, but it is also very damaging and obstructive to the process of healing and growing in maturity.
This “force shield” around us is really an atmosphere that acts as a very selective filter that blocks out or allows in only selected ideas, emotions and communications according to the evolution of the damage done to our hearts previously. It is constructed in our mind through the various experiences and traumas that we have been through, many of which we are no longer aware of. The healing process involves undoing the locks and bars that have been constructed over the years so that we can once again begin connecting meaningfully with others at the heart level and begin to understand and experience life as God intended for us.
I have been thinking about this filtering shield the past few days and some of the ways it operates as I observe it in action both in myself and in those around me. I have noticed that this filter is built mostly on assumptions about life, about others, about God, about what is good and bad, about what if desirable and what is threatening. Most of the time many of these assumptions are at best partially wrong if not totally, but we believe them very strongly in our heart even when our head knows otherwise.
These filters seem to have the effect of allowing us to only see and hear what is important to us and also what are serious problems of our own. Though we almost never think of it this way, this is why we most often focus on the problems and issues in those around us that are the biggest problems of our own but that we have the least ability to see in ourselves. This seems to be a very pronounced attribute of this filtering phenomena. I think this may be because these “mutual” problems are where our mind dwells, either consciously if we are working on them, or unconsciously if we are in denial of them.
This filtering atmosphere around us often causes us to focus on the negative problems we perceive in those around us, those we work for, people in the store, people in church or in our families. We talk about them to our friends and complain about their faults while our friends silently are wondering when we might wake up and realize that what we are so accurately describing is really ourselves more than the people we are complaining about. But often our friends or family are too intimidated of our reactions to express what they are seeing us do so they just quietly let us vent until we have exhausted our energy or time. Or, worse yet, they may join into the pity party and began telling their own stories of the faults they see in their co-workers or others, being careful to not include us in their list of complaints at least for the time they are with us.
It is really amazing to me how very accurate the complaints a person has about those around them often fit the very character of that person themselves. It is also very frightening because I realize the same truth must apply to my complaints about others and I begin being much more attentive to the things I feel compelled to say about others and asking God to show me why this is such an intense feeling inside of me. The more intense my frustration is with someone else's problem, the more likely it is that this issue must be a part of my own nature and needs to be discovered and healed.
I also begin to think about how this same principle applies on the opposite side of the equation. When I choose to break out of the rut of focusing on the negative in others I can begin to create a new atmosphere that will invite people to see in me what I am seeing in them which in turn becomes motivation for that positive thing to be strengthened in me. For instance, how many times have we heard an unexpected, genuine expression of deep appreciation and suddenly felt to urge to be more appreciative ourselves? When we hear someone receiving affirmation, especially when they don't seem to have obviously earned it, we become aware of the incredible power inherent in affirmation to transform a life and we want to both experience it and give it. We feel the warm glow of life surging through our body and spirit and for a short time we resolve to be more positive and more loving. But habits die hard and we too often find ourselves back in the rut of negative thinking, criticizing and fault-finding with our filter locked solidly in place.
This filter not only is composed of assumptions but is knit together with expectations. We have compiled a list of things we expect to hear from people about us and we simply cannot hear or believe anything that is not on our list. It is simply beyond the realm of possibility. If we believe we are ugly we will discount and disbelieve every word anyone says to us to the contrary. If we believe we are stupid we will only allow messages into our hearts that agree with that foregone conclusion. If we believe that our real identity is found in the faults and sinful desires of the “flesh” that lives inside of us, we will gravitate toward those who point those things out in a spirit of condemnation to reaffirm the condemnation we already feel even though we may strongly resent them. What we believe about ourselves and our true identity is the filter we use to screen out all messages that disagree with the assumptions and expectations locked into that particular filter. And will tend to use the same filter to view others and judge their character. “To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are corrupted.” (Titus 1:15 RSV)
Our words combined with our spirit take on creative-like powers. In judging others we craft the very filter that will be used to judge us because it is the only thing that will be allowed in. “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” (Matthew 7:1-2 NRSV) We reap what we sow.
