Spirit in Disagreeing

This understanding is still embryonic and not yet clear to me, but is emerging. My critical spirit is couched in a spirit of contention. Whenever I hear people teaching things I disagree with I feel combative and self-righteous. I feel a little proud that I have more “light” than they. If I detect a spirit of spiritual arrogance on their part I feel resentful and condemning. I feel that to not take this stance is to join them in their errors. This sounds way too much like the way my Dad treated people who differed with him. I need a now role model and mentor.

I need to see what it looks like to not agree with another's belief system and theology but still genuinely care for and love that person unconditionally. I know intellectually that God does that for all of us but I need to see it worked out in real-life situations in front of me. I need a new frame of reference.

I have to concede that God is using many, if not all of these people that I have issues with, to further His purposes. However, does that mean I have to join them in their twisted views of God to be used by Him? Does being used by God justify and validate the message delivered by an individual? I don't think so. God uses His opposers to prophecy for Him like Caiphas and many of His faithful spokesmen sometimes gave very wrong representations of Him. Moses was undeniably God's spokesman but made a tragic error in how he represented God to his people when he struck the rock in anger.

My Utmost – today's reading. “He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way.” If I allow God to cultivate a certain understanding, a message, a perspective that He plans to share through me that differs from what others are presenting, I must not judge their integrity by the immaturity of their message. If I judge and criticize them and indulge in a spirit of dissension and contention I become judge of their private relationship to God and invite the same judgments to be leveled at me. That is a very low blow that cannot be defended against and I do not want to play that cruel game.

God, deliver me and cleanse me from EVERY root of bitterness against others while I allow You to incubate a unique message in me. Deliver me from my inherited and cultivated penchant for criticism and pride. Show me your ways and your face continually – for your reputation is on the line in this thing.