Anger and Shame

Anger is commonly the emotion of choice to avoid experiencing shame. Shame is a feeling of worthlessness, devaluation, feeling put down, suppressed. Shame is usually forced onto us by other people who themselves likely are full of shame. Since they feel a great need to feel more valuable they think they can achieve it by putting others down to make themselves feel a little higher by contrast. This is attempting to use subtraction to arrive at an apparent net gain – a mathematical nonsense.

When others shame, belittle, criticize and demean us for whatever reason, we are tempted to react in kind because we already feel we are operating from a disadvantage. When we believe their message about our identity because it resonates with embedded lies which are activated in our memories, our pride immediately reacts to defend ourselves since we are sure no one else will defend us. And if no one defends us we are afraid of some kind of death and associated pain. Therefore the root of fear is activated and the sarc is employed to formulate an answer to this threat to our personhood.

But shame is a shameful thing, and being of that nature we are very shamed to admit to anyone that we are feeling shame. Because we are being shamed and devalued by someone, especially when done in public, our sarc chooses to employ force to counterattack and hopefully protect ourselves from further pain. Because the shame coming at us is often from people with power over our circumstances we often internalize the cravings for counterforce (anger) and seethe inside against them until we feel safe enough to vent our frustration and anger to someone else because we feel to intimidated to direct it openly against our protagonist.

It has been observed that the more intense the anger there is in someone during a discussion the less truth they have to support their position. Anger is often rooted in the desire to force others to value us, to take us seriously, to use intimidation to get them to respect us. Anger is a grasping for value but also an attempt to put others down and diminish their power so by contrast we will appear to have more power. Anger usually employs shame to weaken others to that (we believe) they will be afraid to hurt or threaten us again. Of course this is simply a self-reinforcing cycle that never ends until new element are introduced to neutralize the crazy cycle.

Shame/low value must be replaced with salvation value found in the face of God.

Fear bonds must be replaced with love and joy bonds.

Anger and self-defense must be replaced with trust in God's defense and also experienced in The Body.