Internal Floundering

Deeper exposure of evil for evil relationship last night. Nearly all my communication is based on view of other person's resistance. Working very hard to dislocate splinter from another's eye. Definitely need a new heart and new perception.

It is very difficult for me to discern difference between conviction and false gods. False gods are very adept at using my mind to make me feel depressed and self-pity when others don't value me. I especially feel depressed when I believe I have yet again overwhelmed a sensitive person with too much “intimacy” and frightened them away from ever getting near me again. I feel intense shame, beat myself up emotionally, tell myself that I'm a jerk and I never know how to properly relate to people emotionally. It is always too much or too little affection. Every time I try to express what I believe is being honest about how I feel it either scares people off or makes them angry or both. Now on top of that I can add feeling guilty about being an image manager and trying to always control what people think about me.

How can I identify lying spirit gods? It seems I have to know the real laws and my relationship to them. I have to know what is true as well as know God, the source of truth. When I try to argue with the voices they always win because they can always out-feel me.

• I need discernment that I don't have and can't produce by my mind to uncover the disguises of the enemy gods. They are not me, they are sin living in me.

• I need to know solidly how much authority I have in Jesus Christ, not just intellectually but in my deepest spirit.

• I need to exercise that authority against the gods as soon as I identify that they are harassing me again.

• I need to arrest them boldly and decidedly and force them into judgment before the court of heaven.

• Then I need to know how to impose a strong restraining order against them to prevent them from stealing, killing and destroyed my life and marriage and relationships further.