Who Am I?

I have been challenged to copy down the real attributes of my heart and my true identity, the person I really am inside so that I can remember them and state them with assurance and confidence. I cannot ever remember doing this before so it seems a bit bewildering to me. But I also realize that with all the confusion going on right now that this advice is very appropriate and timely. I won't mind some input from those who really know me who would like to assist me in this. I am learning the importance of unmasking the heart that Jesus has given me and that is my true identity.

As I talked with my wife about this the question came up if this is not boasting or bragging about myself. As we discussed this we talked about our need to remember that for every counterfeit there is a solid, true original that it seeks to imitate but with a subtle, deceitful twist. Too often we spend so much energy and focus on avoiding counterfeits that we fail to embrace the true because it looks so much like the false. This morning as I continued to think and pray about this God brought to my mind some things from His Word to confirm that I should be doing this.

Thus says the LORD: “Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the LORD; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight,” says the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24 NRSV)

Jesus said explicitly, “Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 10:32-33 NRSV)

Then I was reminded of what happened to Peter when he forgot who he really was and expressed “confessions” of his old identity with his old language of swearing. He denied that he knew Jesus, which was a false statement about who he really was – a close friend of Jesus – and he mistakenly affirmed his old identity as a swaggering, course, caustic fishermen who cared for nobody. Some might say that he was showing his true colors in that moment, that all the mistakes he had made while with Jesus revealed his true identity and that nothing had really changed on the inside. But that is the false identity of the kingdom of darkness that tries to convince us of the lie. Jesus knew better than that – He was the embodiment of truth, and He knew Peter's “confession” was not reflective of his true heart and his love for Jesus. That is why Jesus made it a point to look at Peter after the third denial and lock eyes with him. It was not to impose feelings of guilt and condemnation on Peter like we sometimes assume, but to remind Peter that no matter how often Peter might forget who he was and slip into old patterns of thinking, Jesus knew Peter's true heart that was passionate for God and wanted to be like Him and could not really deny his love for Him. Jesus would not allow any amount of distracting pain and torture being done to Himself to prevent Him from assuring Peter of His faith in Peter's heart. Jesus made sure that Peter saw for a moment in His eyes the love and confidence, the tenderness and forgiveness that Jesus had for him. And that was enough to re-awaken Peter's heart to remember his true identity as one of Jesus' best friends and to weep with great remorse and repentance for denying his true identity as a friend of Jesus.

Many times I too need to be reminded of who I really am when I forget. I need to remember that I am not defined by my misdeeds or mistakes when I momentarily forget my true identity, but I am in truth defined by the characteristics of the heart that Jesus has planted within me and is nurturing, protecting and growing to more perfectly reflect the beauty of His own heart. God says in Jeremiah 9:24 that I should boast – brag even – that I understand and know Him, that He is a God who acts with steadfast lovingkindness – working mercy, justice – giving true decisions, and righteousness – doing what is right in the earth, for in these things He delights – and I delight too.

At this point one friend has committed themselves to emailing me every day to remind me of who I really am. I did not ask them to do that but I know that God's Spirit prompted them to do so. They have already sent their first message reminding me of what they see and encouraging me to affirm what God has designed me to be and is already there. That is deeply appreciated and warmly accepted – yes, one of the characteristics of my true heart. Another characteristic that I want to develop more is a willingness to do the same for others, not only on a regular basis but especially when they are in danger of forgetting their true blueprint.

I want to continue to add and develop and refine my Declaration of Identity to remind myself of what God looks like living inside of me. By affirming what God has designed me to be and has planted in my soul I am replanting healthy seeds of truth that will spring up and produce even more fruit. Jesus said, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:7-8 NIV)

Who am I?

A man, a father who never wants anything or anyone to hurt or threaten any of his children.

A husband who wants his wife to feel loved, safe and fulfilled.

A man who wants to express love and affection openly without inhibition or fear.

A person who desires to be filled with pure and holy passion, devotion and love for God and for his family and friends.

A man who keeps his natural desires and lower passions under control so that they will be expressed appropriately and effectively.

A man of honesty and integrity who values truth even when it hurts.

A man who wants to listen and learn from wise people who can help him grow and mature.

A man who desires deep, lasting bonds of love with other people that are revealed in acts of thoughtfulness, kindness and sympathy and that will stay firm in any crisis.

A man whose heart is morally upright and pure and is learning how to relate in healthy ways that will demonstrate his affections while respecting the proper rights and feelings of those he loves.

An industrious person who enjoys working, creating new ideas, building and improving physical structures and learning new skills.

A sensitive, caring man who lives from his heart and makes himself vulnerable and transparent to people with whom he desires to have bonds of trust and friendship.

A musician who expresses his soul and innermost feelings through various forms of music that cannot be expressed through words.

A writer who listens to the voice of God in his soul and mind and shares these thoughts with others.

A friend who is learning to better listen to the hearts of hurting people who need support and encouragement.

A man who is discovering the meaning of real joy and desires to be willing to be there for people when they need someone just to go through an experience or emotion alongside them.

A caring person who believes in the power of family love bonds where each person will trust each other and differences or conflicts will be addressed in a spirit of reconciliation with the goal of restoration of close ties of love and affection.

A man who firmly believes in the Atonement already in place created by God through Jesus Christ so that all of our sins are forgiven and wiped away, all of our guilt can be released completely and immediately, and all of our relationships can be healed with His love.

A Christian who has committed himself to the pursuit of knowing God's heart intimately, His feelings, His view of reality and living in His love for me.

A father who draws out of each of his children with tenderness and persistence the special gifts and characteristics that God placed in them at conception.

A man who seeks to discover the real reasons that lie behind the surface and uncover the hidden beauty in each person with whom he connects.

A person who is learning to be more congruent in his expressions, learning to be less afraid of what others think about him and more attuned to what God sees in him.

A man devoted to discovering the passion of God woven throughout all of the Word of God and waiting to be unleashed in the lives of those who join him in pursuit of mining the Word.

A man becoming one in whose spirit is no guile and no deceit found is in his mouth.

A man who is being led by the Spirit of God on his journey to eventual full realization of his present true identity as one of the sons of God. (Rom. 8:14)

A man who firmly believes in God's amazing ability and plans to work all things together for good to those who love God. (Rom. 8:28)

A man of grace who is eager to cover a multitude of sins by not engaging in gossip or spreading damaging rumors about other struggling souls.

A man who daily seeks the wisdom of God to know how to respond appropriately with a spirit of kindness reflective of God's Spirit.

A humble man who at the same time is not afraid to “brag”, or acknowledge his intimate relationship with God.

A man who seeks to learn from others, both from their strengths and from their failures.

A person who is willing to learn from his own failures while not becoming overwhelmed with discouragement and forgetting who he is.

A man of faith, not only in God's good intentions and ability but faith in those around him to respond to the grace and kindness of God's compassion and infinite love.

A patient person who seeks God's perspective when things don't seem to be going well.

A devoted husband who pursues the heart and affections of his lovely wife, cherishing her above all other women in his life and being ravished in her love.

A caring man who is not afraid to reveal sensitive emotions in public.

A saint, who is a sinner who trusts totally in the character and identity of Jesus Christ as the basis of his relationship with God and with others.

A believer who gives all of his pain, fears, guilt and problems to Jesus believing that one Person is enough to experience the pain and loss created by my sins and I do not need to re-experience that again.

A man who deeply desires bonds of true love and affection with other people who are seeking to be real and open themselves.

A person who is not ashamed of the identity that God has created him to be.

A man with a soft heart for children and elderly people and desires to serve and protect their hearts and bodies from harm.

A man who desires to be bold for God's reputation and be willing to speak in His defense even when it is unpopular.

A man who thinks outside the box, unwilling to accept “canned” answers or be content with platitudes and empty words.

A Christian who wants to passionately know the real truth about God and sweep away all the confusing lies amassed in religion to reveal the beauty and glory and magnetic attraction of the true God of love.

A man sensitive to pain and sympathetic to others who are suffering.

A man who wants to be used by God to be an authentic witness of the ability of God to transform him as an experiment of grace.

A person who values beauty everywhere it can be found in God's creation.

A man who trusts God when he can't see through the dark and can't feel His presence just then.

A person who longs for real community and closeness with others who are being led by the same Spirit of the Father, whether or not they profess to know God.

A perceptive friend who desires to stimulate the uniqueness and specialness in those with whom he has influence.

A man who is not ashamed of his body, but seeks to care for it, protect it and keep it healthy and strong so that it can be used as a house for God to live in.

A man who is not ashamed of his infirmities and limitations.

A person with weaknesses and liabilities that needs honest-hearted, caring friends to remind him, encourage him, give him perspective and support him in his everyday life.

A man with humility received from God and a willingness to be a friend, a confidant and a companion for everyone that God places on his heart.

A man who knows that the only true goodness in his life is only reflective of the merits of Jesus whom he is becoming like through God's transformational power.

A man of prayer who carries on instant messaging with God on a regular basis to stay in tune with what God is doing and thinking.

A disciple of Jesus who is being tutored and groomed as one of the sons of the Almighty.

A gentle man who believes that force is never a means for good and that the true power of love is superior at all times to its counterfeit of force though it often takes longer to see results.

As I update this I will place it on a separate page in my site easily accessible to keep it fresh.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:23-24 NAS95)

As is often the case, and as I suspected even before I opened the book, the message in My Utmost was carefully designed to fit perfectly what God was already talking to me about through various sources. That is why I waited to post the above until after I read today's reading. Sure enough, it was a powerful confirmation from God that I was thinking along the same lines as He wants me to. Here is what it says.

By what right do we become “a royal priesthood?” By the right of the Atonement. Are we prepared to leave ourselves resolutely alone and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer? The continual grubbing on the inside to see whether we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, morbid type of Christianity, not the robust, simple life of the child of God. Until we get into a right relationship to God, it is a case of hanging on by the skin of our teeth, and we say – What a wonderful victory I have got! There is nothing indicative of the miracle of Redemption in that, Launch out in reckless belief that the Redemption is complete, and then bother no more about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ said – pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints, pray for all men. Pray on the realization that you are only perfect in Christ Jesus, not on this plea – “O Lord, I have done my best, please hear me.”

How long is it going to take God to free us from the morbid habit of thinking about ourselves? We must get sick unto death of ourselves, until there is no longer any surprise at anything God can tell us about ourselves. There is only one place where we are right, and that is in Christ Jesus. When we are there, then we have to pour out for all we are worth in this ministry of the interior. (MUHH 6/21)