The "Un" Problem

I think I will be awhile in Romans 7 and 8 because the answers to most of my life struggles is buried in these passages and I have only begun to scratch the surface. I do not want to again surf through them and miss the life-changing power that lies underneath the surface that I so much need to experience. It is not theory that I want to unmask and assimilate, it is entering into a genuine, unshakable abandonment to a thriving, real life in Christ Jesus.

The reason I need to do a lot of unpacking in these two chapters is because I come from the background similar to the people Paul addresses in these chapters. I find it noteworthy that he addresses the first group (from chapter 1) in the 23 verses of chapter 6 but to deal with the complexity and confusion that legalism creates in our hearts he has to take all the time and space of chapters 7 all the way through 11 of Romans. However, that does not surprise me much since I am of similar stock as those he is laboring most to reach and from which he himself had emerged. I can feel in my own heart the ongoing resistance to embracing these truths about God that challenge the multitude of lies about God ingrained into me by formal religion. I want to be free of these lies, not just in my mind but even more so in my heart. I want to experience the abandonment of love to Jesus that I read about this morning in My Utmost for His Highest that was demonstrated by Mary when she poured out the perfume in wasteful extravagance on Jesus feet.

But right now when I look inside I have to honestly say my heart is painfully empty of very much love for anyone. When I try to conform myself to the example of Jesus that my heart really desires to be like, I too often find my experience to be all too much like the last half of Romans 7. I need a heart transplant daily and it has to come from an outside power, I cannot do it to myself.

As I was praying about this this morning I asked God to cleanse me from all unrighteousness as in 1 John 1:9. As I thought about that word I realized that the “un” in front of “righteousness” means anything other than the one genuine original. Only God is righteous and the only genuine righteousness is what Jesus lived when He was on earth. As I think about it there are unnumbered kinds of counterfeit righteousness that we attempt to tap into tailored to fit whatever flavor of religion or non-religion that we may subscribe to at the time.

There is the idea of inherent goodness that is very popular with many people and they feel that everyone should invest a sense of worth and value in the inherent goodness that can be found in humans to whatever extent that it can be seen. To counter this idea is to arouse the hackles and even anger of many who insist on this brand of “righteousness”.

Of course there are the many brands of religious righteousness from every corner of the earth that fight and argue with each other as to which is more valid or which has more value and efficiency to make a person good. Most of these ideas make “sense” to some degree or another, but common to all of them is the root idea that we all have something inherent within ourselves to some degree or another that can recommend us or assist us in claiming or producing value and worth, either before each other and/or before God. But it looks to me like any flavor or belief of righteousness other than what can be freely received from Jesus Christ, totally apart from anything we are or do, falls under the “un” heading.

This is likely one of the roots of my own slowness in growth. Subconsciously part of me wants to depend on something I can do or some value I have to leverage God to do His work in me. I say “subconsciously” because in my mind I assent to the truth that righteousness only comes from God, but in the fruit emerging from my life experience it appears that something else is still at work. When I look inside and see such an emptiness in the container that is supposed to be full of love I know there is something terribly missing. I am painfully aware, not only of this vacancy but of my inability to generate genuine, unselfish love no matter how hard I strive to do it. I simply don't have the necessary equipment to produce it. Oh, I can certainly experience feelings of affection and all sorts of other emotions that purport to be love, but when more closely examined they turn out to be self-serving in some way or another and are usually attempts to bring satisfaction and a sense of value to myself that I so desperately crave. Even when I experience what I believe to be genuine impulses of unselfish love implanted within me by God, it seems there is always present other mixed emotions waiting to exploit the moment to bring attention to myself and make me appear more valuable and worthy in the eyes of others. The description by Paul of his own experience in Romans 7 is very much what I experience and want to be delivered from.

I believe the answers to my dilemma really are buried in these chapters and I do not want to continue to miss them. The answers are issues of the heart, not just correct theological interpretations, so they have to be received in my spirit from the Spirit of God conveying them beyond my left brain analysis.

One thing I am noticing in this passage today is that verse 6 contains the two headings of the two options that I face in my condition as a recovering legalist. I will either serve in newness of the spirit or in oldness of the letter. This is parallel to what he told the other group in 6:13-16 about presenting yourself to one master or the other. But for the legalistic mind he uses a little different metaphor that is maybe more palatable. But because the religious person has possibly so much more baggage to unpack to understand what Paul is getting at, he spends considerable more time explaining the difference between living in the flesh verses the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus (8:2)

The rest of Romans 7 is a description of what if feels like to live in the flesh while trying to serve God and be righteous. Apparently this is using one of the “un” forms of righteousness that fails to produce the effects of genuine salvation but religiously appears to be the real thing. This deception is so subtle that only the Spirit of God can deliver me from it. I still echo the exclamation of Paul in 7:24,25 in my desire to be delivered from this body of death in the flesh and enter fully into the freedom and joy described in chapter 8.

This is not something I can do to myself or work myself into with help from God. It is an experience that is going to have to come through the power of the resurrected Christ that melts away my resistance and installs in my heart an overflowing river of love that will be unavoidable by those around me. I want this experience, I ask for this experience, I choose to submit to whatever it takes for God to create this result in my heart, mind and soul.

God, cause what You describe in Romans 7:6 to be evident within my heart today. Make me Your experiment of grace that will amaze even the angels who have seen nearly everything. Do Your thing in me today and have Your glory revealed in my family today. Because it is really all about Your reputation, not mine. So fulfill Your word in my life today for Your name's sake.

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