Incompatible Opposites

This morning as I drove to work for about 25 minutes I decided to act on the convictions that I have been experiencing lately and turn off the news on the radio. I decided that it was time to simply spend time listening to whatever the Holy Spirit wanted to tell me from the mind of Jesus.

One of the first thoughts that came to me was that when I listen to the radio during times like this that it was something like going on a date with my wife and then choosing to be occupied with listening or getting involved with other people while ignoring my wife. I think most people would suspect correctly that she would not feel too good about this and would feel that it was an insult or a sign of disloyalty to her. Most of us try not to fall into this trap when going on a date with someone we love, but how often do we try to fill our “empty times” with distractions or information or even just music when God would like to have a chance to commune with our hearts and share little love whispers in our ear if we would just give Him more chances?

Well, I accepted that thought from Him as a statement of part of His feelings that He wanted to share with me today. I accepted the conviction that far too much of the time I do ignore many chances that I could spend listening and dialogging with Him. But today, right now, I would choose to spend this time listening, even if it just meant resting in quietness without anything in particular being hashed over. I accepted the beautiful morning colors in the sunrise as His present to me personally. After all, many times lovers just need to be able to enjoy each other's presence without having to always be talking about something.

But after I got to the job site early and sat waiting for my boss to show up, I realized that indeed a significant insight had begun to coalesce in my mind without my noticing it at first. I scrounged around to find some paper to write it down on so I wouldn't forget it. You would think that I would learn to keep pads of paper nearby everywhere I go I spend so much time wanting to capture things that come to my attention.

Anyway, what I wrote down and what ignited my interest was a coalition of ideas from my past experiences and learning which is often the case. The first part of it was that I have been learning more about the heart that Jesus gave me which is where I find my true identity. When I choose to allow God to have possession of my affections He gives life to the inner person that is created in His image and that is perfectly designed to reflect the nature of Jesus.

However, as we all know there is another inner person called our flesh or our fallen nature that is always present and opposed to the true heart that is designed to reflect our Creator. This fallen nature that closely reflects the nature of Satan himself insists that our behavior and our habits and mistakes define our true identity. Or maybe for some of us our flesh demands us to believe that our good works, our education, our good looks (not too much my problem) or any number of external trappings we may accrue define our real identity. Either way, our flesh always defies the claims of God to access control of our heart, our affections and our choices.

This battle is discussed at length by Paul in Romans 7 and 8 and is familiar to any Christian worth taking on the name. But what began to come to me more clearly this morning was the stark contrast between these two extreme natures and the complications that we experience when we attempt to co-mingle these polar opposites in the same mind. Here is what I am starting to perceive more fully.

The heart that Jesus has placed in me will ALWAYS desire to do what is right, will always want to follow God's will for me, will always be willing to submit joyfully to the principles of God's loving government. On the other hand, my flesh will ALWAYS desire to please myself, to look out for my own interests first before others, will always insist that I have the ability and wisdom to figure out how to solve my problems given enough help and time. My fallen nature is incorrigible in that it will never repent or surrender to the authority of God fully. Oh, it will do all sorts of pragmatic things to look religious and pious when it seems to be in my best interest, but behind it all, subconsciously it will always have a hidden agenda of selfishness and self-survival. There is no chance of converting my sinful heart, the only option if I want to be a real Christian who is radical enough to be saved at last is to kill my sinful desires, my sinful impulses and cravings and to surrender radically to the work of God in my soul.

Given that these two natures are alive and fighting fiercely inside of me nearly all the time, what is going to be the outcome of this constant warring inside of my head? Which one of these natures is going to come out on top in the end and determine my eternal destiny? Just because I call myself a Christian and claim to follow God and keep all sorts of beliefs and rules and traditions does not mean that my heart is really finding the relationship with God that is urgently necessary for me to be safe to enjoy heaven. Most of what is called Christianity today is not reflective of the life that God had in mind when Jesus introduced the human race to His Father 2000 years ago.

What I am beginning to see more clearly is that because of the radical, polarized nature of these two hearts or natures inside of me, that if I try to access both of them in my daily life that the inevitable conflict is very damaging to my spiritual nature at best and may cause my eternal loss at worst. Because both of these natures are unchangeable in their goals and motives and are incompatible with each other, when I try to accomplish what subconsciously feels like “balance” by indulging occasionally in compromise here and there to satisfy my flesh in any way, then my true nature given to me by Jesus suffers far more severely than I can even realize at the time. As Oswald Chambers so aptly put it, We have to recognize that sin is a fact, not a defect; sin is red-handed mutiny against God. Either God or sin must die in my life.

What really happens when I try to juggle these two warring opposites in the same mind and heart is that I demonstrate what James describes as mental and emotional instability. James labels this a double-minded man who should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Double-mindedness is the result then, of attempting to co-mingle two polar opposites that are incompatible.

I also began to sense a new heightened awareness of the definite attractiveness of the real meaning of purity. Again, purity is not just about sexual parts of our life but is about the subject that is being talked about right here. Purity is the same thing as being totally, unreservedly committed to one side or the other in this warfare. Purity is really the same thing as allegiance or loyalty. Purity is far more than abstinence as we have often assumed. Purity is radical dedication, devotion and passion for the cause and the leader whom we worship, whether that be ourselves, our earthly heroes on television or the God who has demonstrated His own passion to have us in a restored and eternal relationship with His heart of infinite love. In short, purity is the elimination of all competition in the heart.

When I fail to maintain or seek real purity in my heart, the result is lukewarmness, shame, fear, guilt and instability. And conversely, the only real cure for all of these ailments is not to work harder at becoming good but in making choices about the content of what fills my mind and imagination each day. When I put mixed mental food into my mind I am going to get much worse than just mixed results. But when I am willing to go far beyond my comfort zone and go to what others will consider extremes in my pursuit of God, then I will be able to experience the passion of God in loving service to others flowing through my life in currents so powerful and energizing that I will be literally beside myself with joy.