Random Blog Clay Feet: The Meatgrinders
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Monday, September 21, 2009

The Meatgrinders

Well, it is now official.

I am scheduled to submit myself to the meat processors to have my sausages worked on.

I have never done this kind of thing before and it seems a bit strange for a lifetime vegetarian like me to be messing around with sausages.

O.K. So most people put different labels on this. But really, what's in a label? So it sounds more civilized to call it a hospital instead of a meat processing plant. Don't they all deal with the same stuff?

I am supposed to go in the first of October so they can rearrange my innards that have apparently gotten too far disarranged and in the wrong places. I discovered about a week ago that I have a hernia and though I have heard rumors that there possibly might be some outside chance of curing it through some other means, I have decided this time to surrender to the medical system and our society's expectations about how to deal with such things and let them slice me open and have at it.

I really hope that while I am coming out of anesthesia that I don't reveal too many deep dark secrets that the nurses refuse to let me know about later. If I do I at least hope that I could hear about them myself so I could know what they are too. Other than that, I am supposed to be back home within 6-8 hours of when I arrive very early in the morning. My how times have changed. They don't even give you long extended periods of pampering in the hospital like they used to do.

So if any of you are so inclined (not sure there are any “you's” that might even read this), you can take this opportunity to indulge my weakened condition to feel terribly sorry for me and heap upon me all sorts of gifts, attentions and affections that I probably would never receive otherwise.

Well, I can try, can't I?

2 comments:

  1. Oh, you make me laugh! :)

    I will definitely be praying for you.... when is the surgery so that I know?

    And it is crazy that they get you out of the hospital so quickly. My dad was home and walking around on his own by the end of the day!

    God bless,
    Heather

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  2. Oh yeah, we read and keep up! I was afraid for a moment you were going to write about meangrinders and fingers! I believe they quit using the good meds that always loosened the tongues. They might not even put you to sleep. ha ha Please keep in touch. We may give you a call.
    ~Linda

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