Coming Soon - Bat Barakah

Well, the computer delay continues. I am waiting for an important piece of tax information to come in the mail so I can finish my Dad's taxes for last year which are on my computer before I send it in for repair. That, of course, only delays when I will be getting it back. I have had great difficulty finding a monitor that I can use to see what I am doing. I have to plug in an external monitor to my laptop so I can work on it (without staring into a very dark screen with a flashlight to make out shadowy images and words). Every one I have tried so far has not worked at all. Finally I realized that if I could reduce the resolution on my laptop low enough maybe it would show up on the other screens instead of overwhelming their circuits. So I brought it over to my other daughter's house this morning where I am working and hooked up her monitor, which also didn't seem to work. But when I used a flashlight and managed to get the screen resolution reduced enough, sure enough it finally showed up on her screen. So now I can actually see what I am typing and can catch up a little on things needed to be done on the computer and the internet. I will be very happy when the laptop is finally fixed and back to normal. And as for the Bat Barakah -- I'm sure some of you may be scratching your heads wondering what in the world that might be. Well, it would take a lot of explanation which would be much more thorough if you check out the resources at Family Foundations. But very briefly, it is an extension of the basic principle underlying a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Bar Mitzvah means "son of the law" and Bat means daughter. A Bar or Bat Barakah means "son or daughter of the blessing". It is something extremely important in every person's life but is almost unknown in the Wester Christian culture today. But it is also becoming more known as more and more people learn about it, how important it is for our success in every part of our lives, and begin to reinstate it back into our culture. We have been learning about this for the past couple years. I contacted a man in NC who is leading out in planning and conducting one of these for the young people in his church each year. He sent me a video of the most recent ones which was very moving and inspiring and we decided that our own children desperately need this blessing in their lives. It is a time of empowerment for success, of impartation of identity, a time of recognition, affirmation and a time when something literally supernatural is released in the person's life that is beyond easy explanation. I certainly wish I had received this blessing as most of my friends feel as well. We have been thinking about doing this for some time as I said, but we wanted to involve the important people in my daughter's life which included friends from Norway. We just received a call yesterday that they will be able to come the end of this month if we can plan it for May 5. So that is what we are doing. We are also planning to talk with our other daughters to see if they wish to be part of this ceremony and receive a blessing. Although I am not their biological father, they have become a very intimate part of our immediate family and in some degree look to me as their Dad in various ways. If God wishes to use me to impart whatever blessing I can into their lives in place of their real fathers, I am certainly willing to participate. This is all new to me and I have never been a part of one before - not even as a witness. But I have talked to people who have done this, both in giving and receiving, and I am convinced that it is very real, very significant, and potentially very life-transforming, though maybe not immediately noticeable externally. Please pray for us as we begin planning and preparing for this day. I need an overwhelming infusion of wisdom, love and even prophetic endowment to stand in such an awesome position to be a channel of God to bless my wonderful girls. I do not want them to be short-changed because of my lack or slack. I realize that the blessing really comes from God alone. But He uses people to channel it to us and in a culture where this is almost unheard of it is a bit intimidating to pioneer a new trail. I want this to be a genuine heart experience for all of us, not focused on the external trappings and ceremonies although those may attempt to convey the heart message as well. And for one who is just barely learning about things of the heart this comes as a tremendously challenging assignment.

Four Laws in Romans 7 & 8

Musings from Romans 7 and 8. I see 4 laws introduced here. These laws are not prescriptive rules like we think of law; they are descriptive laws defining forces at work just like gravity is a force. These forces exert power to pull souls to themselves just like gravity pulls our bodies toward the earth. Romans 7:22,23 describes 3 of these laws. They have been alluded to and described since the beginning of Romans. 1.The Law of God. 2.The Law of my mind. 3.The Law of sin and death. The law of God is descriptive of God's perfection and justice and power. The law of sin is immersed in deception, perversion, fear, force, intimidation, selfishness – all tending to death. The law of my mind describes my divinely imparted and protected power to choose. Romans 6:16 talks about using this power of choice to present myself to another power to become it's slave. The law of sin and death is very powerful and takes my mind (law 2) hostage and chains me by force to the body of death condemning me to suffer the poisonous, destructive infections imposed by sin. For clearer understanding of the analogy that Paul uses here, one has to know about a practice familiar to people back in Paul's day. Many of the punishments inflicted on people were calculated to create as much torture as possible as a strong deterrent for others. Most of us are at least somewhat familiar with the process of crucifixion practiced by the Romans designed to extend the victim's pain over several days before they expired. It was designed not only to be very painful but very shameful as well since they were hung up completely naked. But another form of punishment was to chain a dead human body to a living person in such a way that the person would never be able to escape or become free from it. Over time as the dead body decomposed the morbid smells, tissues and fluids would began to infect the body of the living person until he became so poisoned from the rotting body chained to him that he himself would die a very miserable and slow death. With this in mind it is easier to see some of the intensity involved in what Paul talks about in Romans 7 and 8. In Romans 8:2 Paul introduces the Hero in shining armor sent to rescue us from this hostage situation and break the chains that bind our mind (law 2) to the corpse of death. This rescue comes from: 4.The Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus. Romans 7 describes a mind believing the truth about God and desiring to be sinless like God but held hostage by the law of sin. Romans 8:3 says that looking to the law of God and believing it and wanting to be like Him is not going to free us from the prison of sin or break the chains binding us to the body of death. The spirit of my mind is no match for the spirits of darkness even though I believe truth. I am still chained to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil which is really the Tree of Death. I can only be set free when I accept the supernatural intervention of Jesus and then abide in Him. Jesus' death put Him in my place chaining Him to the very body of death that I was chained to. He entered into humanity to experience my bondage. If I allow Him to dwell in me – choosing in the law of my mind – then I can become so identified with Him that I will also experience, after death to self, His liberating resurrection power that shatters the chains that bind me to the body of death. Here's a thought to ponder. Did Jesus enter into me in my position as one chained to a dead body or did He enter into the dead body that I am chained to and transform it into a source of life for me instead of a slow, poisonous death? If so, did He undo the chains or just deliver me from the prison of sin to be now chained to His body full of life? (Just a jump-starter thought) For certain, He never uses chains of force like sin does to bind me to Himself. He uses cords of lovingkindness to lure me into love bondage to Him. (see Jer. 31:3 and Hosea 11:3,4) He frees me from the abject slave/ruthless-master system forced on me by Satan's kingdom into a covenant witness protection and marriage-intimacy relationship in the Spirit of Life. Romans 6 makes it clear we will always be in bondage to one “law” or the other. Something must have been permanently damaged in our make-up when Adam sinned and ever since then the law of our mind cannot win or successfully resist the much stronger law of sin that took up permanent residence in our mortal flesh. Since we cannot separate from our flesh and still exist as a person on this earth it appears we will always be hostage in some way to our flesh until the Second Coming of Christ. But it (the law of sin in our flesh) does not have to rule over us. (Rom. 6:14) So maybe the above analogy is not the best. Maybe, instead of Jesus entering the dead body chained to us that is condemning us to death, He enters into our body and His Spirit of life injects more life into our mind (law 2) than the body of death imparts poison. Or maybe on one side of us we are chained to the body of death and on the other side we are intimately bound by covenant to His body of life. Then Romans 8 fits even better in its description of how we are to use our mind – our power of choice. Romans 8:6 says whichever “body” we choose to set our mind on (law 2) determines which outcome we will experience. (next in series)

God's Word vs. His Reputation

Here are a few random thoughts that came to me today. Anyone or any circumstances that can cause me to forget who I am in relations to God and cause me to forget how to act like myself has been empowered by me to be a false god. When we demand to know why bad things happen we are really trying to collect information in order to pass judgment on God and on others. In doing so we set ourself up as The Judge. I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name. (Psalms 138:2 NKJV) I have checked several versions of the Bible on this text and there is two basically different ways of presenting this relationship between God's name and His word. Quite likely the original language may be ambiguous on how to state this, I don't know, but the way it is stated in this translation brings up some very interesting possibilities and dynamics. Think about the relationship between a person's word and his reputation or name. And also think about how we relate to God within these dynamics. If God's word – keeping His word – was subject to His reputation, or what others think about Him, then when His reputation is profaned His word could not really be trusted. But if His reputation is dependent on the keeping of His word then His reputation can be recovered. God does not control what others think about Him (like we try to do). But He has full control over whether or not He keeps His word. What about the way we think about God's reputation? Do we think He doesn't always keep His word to us? Does that color our view of His character and reputation? What about the need for us to trust His motives and character even when it appears His word has failed? The apparent failure, as we perceive it, could be due to our misunderstanding of His word or to our impatience for the fulfillment. We usually want His good word to us fulfilled right now (lust) and in a way that is always to our advantage (which often will disadvantage others). But that is dictating how and when God should keep His word in violation or conflict with His character or name. But God will honor His word even when it seems to hurt His reputation in the short-term. This verse can also be translated, “You have magnified Your word along with Your name.” The ultimate end of the Great Controversy is the full redemption and restoration of God's reputation in the freedom of every mind to judge God according to the consistency of His word. Better to judge Him accurately earlier than later.

Immature Gangland

I will take advantage of a few minutes on a friend's computer to make a short post (at least I assume it will be short). It may be a while before I get my own computer back into function as I have to wait for the company to send me a box, backup what I need from my computer, send it in to who-knows-where for warranty repair and wait until it comes back before I can resume "normal" communication again. Last night I rode to the men's group with a friend traveling from the same town I am staying in right now. After the group was over (which was again very personal and open by a number of men) we began talking as we rode home together. I began relating to him the problems we are having in the neighborhood where my daughter is living and where I am staying with her. Apparently there are a number of kids in the neighborhood who, for whatever reasons unknown to us, have decided to harass us. I assume they think we should not be living there and want us to leave. Maybe its because we do not share their skin color or ethnic background or maybe it is other reasons. At any rate, over the past few weeks they occasionally take it upon themselves to through various bottles and other items at our house trying to frighten and intimidate us. In fact, this morning I went out on the porch and found broken light bulbs, a spray can lodged in the siding and broken glass with various colors of liquid lying all about. As I was starting to say, I was explaining this to my friend and shared that what I see is an offer of contract. He was baffled at what I meant so I went on to explain. These kids are offering me a contract whereby they will supply the violence and intimidation in hopes that we will respond with fear and/or anger. If I accept the contract (which I certainly am naturally prone to do) then they will have succeeded and will be in control of us and to some extent our future. They are trying to achieve some level of power over us and the temptation is very strong to respond in the same way which is really what they are hoping we will do. I have been thinking and praying about this a lot lately trying to see it from heaven's perspective. It is very difficult for me to realistically think of alternate ways of responding. I have thought of going and talking to their parents (I am pretty sure I know which house they live in) but I quickly realized that if my own attitude and spirit is not right and strong enough, I could easily be quickly overwhelmed by a negative response and then not know how to act and feel. I need to have a new imagination and a whole new view of reality before I get into this kind of intense emotional situations. My friend and I talked about this as we drove up to our house and we sat there for some time talking after we arrived. To my surprise, right in front of us coming down the sidewalk and the street the very same group of kids (maybe aspiring to form a gang or something) came walking past with bottles in their hands obviously intent on doing more of the same. We both sat there watching them pass and then wondered what to do. My friend at this point suggested that we pray, not only for them but because we both felt a need to really talk to God from our hearts and experience His presence in our lives more than we have before. So we sat there in the darkness and simply opened up our feelings and desires to God together. A little while later the same group came around again and passed us walking down the street playing with empty bottles and still seeming to look for mischief. It is pointless to call the police. We have done that a number of times and they seem to be getting tired of hearing from us. I think that God want me to do something different, something outside my comfort zone, something that gives God a chance to reveal Himself in ways we are not comfortable with. As I got out of the car a few minutes later and walked to the house, I heard a noise down the street as the kids threw their stuff at a house about a block away and took off running. I realized then that maybe we aren't the only ones on the receiving end of their harassment. I am also aware that, for all my profession of Christianity, I have not yet spoken to a single one of our neighbors since we have been staying here. I like to think about doing it and maybe even talk about doing it. And I definitely like telling other people they should do it. But when it comes right down to doing it myself I seem to draw a blank if not some other emotions. Maybe that's where real community would help me. Yes, that's it! I need someone to bolster me by going with me to do it. Well, that certainly would help, but its not materializing anytime soon that I can see. So, that's what's happening right now as winter returns to us to sub-freezing temperatures after we were just getting used to nice 60-80 degree days of sunshine.

nshine.

Choir of my Dreams

A had one of those rare dreams last night that I deeply regretted waking up from. Then I wanted to get up and try to write it down before it was gone even though it was around 1 AM but much of it faded from memory in a short time. I suppose the one reason for that is that it was more of an emotional dream than it was a factual one. What made it so intense (besides the presence of unusual herbs and flavors from the Japanese meal last night) was that it seems to be a very strong message from very deep in my psyche of long-lost, unfulfilled longings and desires. It seemed to last for quite an extended period. What I can remember is the general gist and outline of the events and feelings, particularly the overwhelming emotion that I had that woke me up.

It seemed to begin when I was enjoying a visiting academy school choir performing music that I really liked. They did not seem to be people that I knew particularly but I just remember enjoying the music very much. After that I must have followed them from place to place to continue listening to their various concerts and selections. It also seems there was quite a variety of outfits that they wore as well as music that they presented. You know how dreams can be, not necessarily logical in sequence or substance so many of the connecting details were not present.

Over time my emotional attachment to this group began to grow very strong even though they did not know me very well. It seems that I began to mingle with them in other activities such as in the dorm, during practices etc. I wish that I could remember more but the details have so escaped me. What I do remember was the last scene where I found myself slowly walking down a hallway next to the practice area looking over the music they were preparing for the next concert but more focused on my intense emotions than on the music. At this point I must have been invited to be an assistant director of the choir but the decision was not yet final or maybe was contingent on the members acceptance of me or whatever.

What I do know is that the combination of the powerful effect that the music had on my soul and the intense desire I had in my heart to be accepted and wanted by these friendly, fun-loving young people, my deepest longings to be a part of what was happening here were greater than I can remember experiencing for most of my life. I was suddenly aware that there was an extremely deep reservoir of hunger, a desire for satisfaction that had never been met, dreams long forgotten that had never been realized that lay dormant in my heart. As I walked down that hallway intensely hoping to be fully embraced and loved and included by this exciting group of vibrant young people, the tears began to well up in my eyes. Then I was challenged by the usual confrontation of emotions about whether I should allow my feelings to be visible to others or should repress them or hide them as I usually do. As I considered this I decided that it would make more sense to try to let my emotions be seen, to be real if I wanted them to accept me.

I found myself a little frustrated that the young people talking, laughing and singing next to me were not noticing my emotions and asking me what was going on. They were understandingly too preoccupied with each other to notice me as I continued to slowly walk down the hall. It seemed that my opportunity was about to slip away which only intensified my desire. Then the worst tragedy of all took place – I began to wake up slowly and I began to realize that it really was only a dream. I desperately tried to return to the dream and stay asleep, but as is usually the case, the harder you try to stay asleep the quicker you wake up simply from the infusion of left-brain logic that disrupts the atmosphere conducive to the dream.

So I was left laying there contemplating the remnants of the dream and its emotions and wondering what it might mean, if anything. I asked God if there was some meaning or possible indication of a future event in this dream but heard no clear response. So I just pondered why I felt so strongly about it. The only clear ideas that emerged were that it was clearly a message from areas of my heart that had not been heard from in many years. In a way that might be good in that my attempts to listen to my heart more lately are starting to allow it to communicate more, albeit very timidly.

Another frightening message is that I may be far more vulnerable to heart-oriented surprise attacks than I ever dreamed possible. Like the explanation that I heard from Jim Wilder about why so many prominent preachers who are very experienced and knowledgeable are suddenly tripped up in moral failure. He points out that the knowledge does very little to prevent they collapse because the real problem lies in the lack of joy relationships in their life. So when someone comes along who suddenly fills forgotten but very intense longings hidden deep in their hearts that they were not even aware of, they are very easily unbalanced and dislodged from all the professions and religious claims they have publicly stood on for so many years. They painfully realize that they have masked over and ignored their heart in their lifelong struggle for intellectual knowledge and “success”. Now they are ready to trade it all in along with their reputation, their livelihood and even their families for the hope of satisfying the deep, gaping hole they now realize exists in their real heart.

This potential is certainly not hypothetical – it is very real and is likely one of the greatest traps threatening millions of people unconscious of its existence. What I experienced in my dream seemed to fit this scenario except for the immoral opportunity, although it could easily include that if I was not careful. Maybe it was revealing a different solution to the very real problem of dormant lost dreams and unsatisfied heart-longings that could be yet realized in a positive environment. I do not have a conclusive understanding of what this meant or if there even is a reason for it. I guess that mostly it was a reminder that there is a whole lot more inside of me than I have been aware of and that I need to stay very focused on God to protect me from being blind-sided by attacks aimed at exploiting this very vulnerable area of my soul.

I also have to be careful not to respond by trying to ignore and repress these deep desires. Those emotions can easily overwhelm rules and parameters if they are not understood and respected. I must remember that only God can really satisfy my deepest cravings and that He will indeed do so in the safety of His ways and protections. It could turn into a very wild and possibly confusing time of transition because I will not be able to see where I am going at the time. But faith is believing in the good and perfect motives of the One into whose hands I continue to commit my present and future. God created my heart to start with and He is certainly not ignorant of the depth of my unfulfilled longings. He has a plan that will more than satisfy and ravish my heart while staying in the parameters of safety that will protect my heart from destructive and malicious evil that masquerades as an effective answer for my heart.

God, I trust you to protect my heart while at the same time making me aware of who I am, who I can become and experiencing much deeper, satisfying relationships with others that you will connect me with at a heart level. Only You can give me real satisfaction, and You will use others along with your personal presence to grow me into an exhibition of your grace and glory.