Global Warming - Bring It On!

Symptoms of global warming. You don't have to look very far to hear all sorts of excitement and controversy about this hottest topic of debate in our world today. So, what's the big deal about it anyway? Why is there so much fear surrounding this that fuels the intensifying arguments and causes people to become environmental fanatics more radical than even religious fanatics?

Well, I am not totally ignorant about the issues being tossed around in this debate. I am aware of the consequences that might take place if the massive shelves of ice were to slip off of Greenland and suddenly sink into the waters of the surrounding oceans. The sudden rise in sea levels would certainly cause some very interesting changes in the familiar outlines of many continents and many resort islands would suddenly find themselves needing to build rather tall pylons on which to perch all of their luxury hotels and homes. Florida might become a gigantic wading pool instead of a retirement village and inland cities would suddenly be faced with building docks for ships that once stopped hundreds of miles away.

All of these things while maybe tongue in cheek are quite realistically possible if the global average temperatures continue to elevate. In addition it is believed that the central regions around the world would become much more desert-like while the colder northern and southern climates would begin to warm and dramatically change their current landscapes. There is even talk by scientists that in a very short time from now that during the summer that possibly ALL of the ice surrounding the North pole may disappear completely leaving our planet looking almost naked from outer space. There have already been news reports from several years ago of tourist ships arriving at the North pole only to discover that there was no place for the passengers to get out and walk around because the ice had melted into a large lake at that very spot.

So why am I excited about global warming? Well, let me give you a hint. Because I am starting to feel some of the effects of deep cracks developing in the titanic glaciers of ice that have encapsulated my own heart. I believe that I am witnessing some potential developments in my own heart that may soon lead to much bigger changes over which I will have little control but that will forever change the landscape of my life as well as everyone else around me.

It suddenly occurred to me more clearly this morning what the main composition is of this ice that has held me frozen in its wintry spell for so many years. It is not unlike the long winter referred to in C. S. Lewis's Narnia stories. What came clearly to me this morning was that the ice field that has kept me frozen and incapacitated from really living for most of my life has been the reign of fear in my heart.

Just like ice, fear can freeze a person making them unable to move or function as they wish, sometimes locking them into a self-fulfilling terror of being hurt by a danger that they are immobilized to respond to effectively. Fear is our worst enemy because it robs us of all our power to live as God designed us to live – with joy and spontaneity, freedom and creativity. Fear blocks the heart from being able to trust others, to form bonds with other hearts through love and humility and real friendship. Fear isolates people more and more from everyone around them as it moves all of humanity closer and closer to an eternal ice age that would become the playland of demons gloating over their victory against the light and warmth that fills all of heaven. This might be the proverbial event of hell freezing over for real.

I have suspected for a long time that I had some deeply buried glaciers that were hidden from my view from years of overfill that kept them securely cold and inaccessible to the light of day. But there is something very significant about the nature of ice cover that needs to be understood. Ice and snow block the warmth of the sun from being effective by bouncing away the light and heat that would otherwise be absorbed into the earth or water and that would cause more melting of the ice. As long as there is a cover of white on the surface, it is generally very difficult for any significant melting to be able to occur and effect any real change in the conditions on the ground.

But as scientists are now explaining, as more and more pockets of melted water appear during the warm seasons and more land is exposed to the rays of the sun, more heat is being absorbed into the surface and transmitted into the infrastructure that dramatically accelerates the warming trend. Melted water then begins to move around and cause even more melting. It forms holes in the ice and then drops down through those holes to the ground below and begins to form a layer between the ice and the rocks. This has the effect of lubricating the movement of the ice sheets so they can more quickly slide toward the ocean which in turn opens up even more exposed surfaces behind that can absorb even more heat accelerating the process exponentially.

For many scientists around the world this process itself is becoming a great source of alarm and fear in their minds. Since most of them do not believe in a sovereign God in charge of everything on this earth, they are convinced that it is totally up to humans to attempt to reverse this process of warming so as to keep the status quo as we know it as much as possible. They believe that the very existence of humanity depends on our own success in saving our planet completely by our own efforts alone. Does that sound like anything similar to other beliefs floating around in this world? We have to save ourselves – now where I have heard that before?

I have been fascinated for years by many of the macro issues in science, partly because it just seems so intriguing to watch massive changes transform the earth's landscape in dramatic ways. Volcanoes, earthquakes, tsunamis and dramatic changes in the polar regions have always held a special fascination for me most of my life. Now I wonder if that was not at least in part due to my deep desires to experience dramatic transformation in my own life, to experience radical shifts of thinking and to break free from the emotional restraints and habits that prevented me from really living life more fully.

There is one common thing about all of these events of nature that nearly everyone agrees on. There is almost nothing that humans can really do to alter their happening. We may be able to slightly better predict their occurrences at times, but we cannot alter the explosion of a volcano or have any affect on what an earthquake does. I know that there is a huge battle going on in politics and science as to how much human activity contributes to global warming. But I suspect that the real battle comes down more to who can manipulate and control the public media in order to convince the most people of their opinions more than what actual realistic ability people have to affect what this planet does in relationship to its core and the deep space that surrounds it.

I have no doubt whatsoever that this planet really is going to experience dramatic warming of the atmosphere and that all the terrifying results will in fact take place sooner or later, with or without all the attempts of humans to reverse it. And the reason that I am completely confident of this is because the irrefutable Word of God has already forecast it to happen in our day. Revelation forecasts a time coming very soon when the sun will scorch men with overwhelming heat that will be inescapable and that inhabited islands will disappear. Does that sound like global warming to you?

But there are other prophecies that make me even more excited because they have to do with the landscape of billions of hearts of the people all over this planet. While externally the global warming of this planet is inevitably taking place, God declares that there is going to be a massive and irrepressible display of the glory of God that is going to fill the whole earth with its warmth, its light and its transformational power. Nothing that humans or all the demons of hell can ever do will be able to prevent or thwart this outbreak of fresh life and revelations about God's love that will flood the whole planet with an exhibition of the real truth about God. But that global warming event will polarize every person and bring them to decide fully on which side they are going to be in the great battle over souls taking place primarily right here on this planet.

When this explosion of glory takes place in its fullness as described most clearly at the beginning of Revelation 18, the titanic forces of evil that have kept this world frozen in a cold wintry fear about God for so many millennia will not be able to stop the massive thaws that will occur in every home and heart and family throughout the whole earth. But that does not mean that the forces of evil will give up in dismay. No, evil never gives up as long as it is in existence, for the very nature of evil is resistance against the love of God and all demonstrations of the truth about God. The mighty battle of Armageddon is going to revolve around the forces of cold darkness confronting the release of this mighty heat of God's truth and glory that will permeate every place in this battlefield.

The outcome of this mighty battle, which is not military in nature as many Christians have mistakenly assumed, is possibly going to result in the true conversion of an amazing percentage of the world's population according to some people's beliefs about prophecies in Revelation. Quite possibly one fourth to one third of the whole population of the world will be converted to obedience to God's ways and will keep all of His commandments and devote their lives totally to His service.

But that is not the end by any means. The rage of the enemy will become so intense as never before in the history of the whole world that a counterattack will take place that will produce a time of bloodshed so horrible that it is impossible for us to imagine. But by what I am starting to perceive in my observations about these prophecies, nearly every one of those people who embrace the truth about God plus a great many more will be slaughtered in various ways in a last-gasp attempt by Satan to eliminate every loyal follower of God from this planet and claim this planet as his own through the use of brute force.

Only a very small number of God's people will survive this massive time of terror if I understand prophecy correctly, but this small group of people will be those who are so totally possessed by the Spirit of God that they will demonstrate the perfect spirit and reactions of Jesus in every situation, for Jesus Himself will be fully living out His life from within them without any resistance at all on their part. They will be totally surrendered to His Spirit, they will be pure followers of the Lamb who have become completely absorbed by His presence and will demonstrate in the last days what Jesus demonstrated Himself during His last days when He lived here on earth.

What does this have to do with me or global warming?

What I have detected the last few days are shock waves emanating to the surface of my consciousness of deep cracks beginning to happen at levels far deeper than I have detected for a very long time. Like pockets of superheated gases escaping to the surface in a volcano that cause earthquakes before a major eruption, I have felt some deep shudders of internal earthquakes that alert me to the fact that something very big may be about to happen. I also am detecting an unusual amount of thawing taking place of the ice and snow that have been in place in some areas of my life that have been frozen for as long as I can remember.

All of these symptoms are actually making me excited more than afraid. Do I have fear? Do I have FEAR??? Well, let me say that fear is an understatement at certain times. As I was sharing with a friend quite recently, the pockets of emotion that have unexpectedly shown up for brief moments have been more along the line of almost unexplainable terror instead of just fear.

But at the very same time another part of me welcomes these events and signs of something beginning to happen deep inside my soul. There is a growing desire for a real climate change in my life that will result in a much warmer personality, the liberation of vast areas of potential natural resources that have been frozen deep under glaciers of fear for many decades. I am sensing that the warmth of God's love seeping into deep passageways in my psyche that I have no direct control over are preparing my heart and mind for some very startling surprises in the near future. I probably don't even want to know right now what those are going to look like, it might exceed my capacity to even accept it at this point.

But what I can do and must do is to cling to my growing confidence in the heart and motives of the One who is orchestrating all of this taking place in my life. He has been working for years to thaw out key control centers and repair and replace many of the deep lies about Him that have kept me at too much of a distance from His warming presence. I have been experiencing more and more regional thaws over the past few years and months as I come closer to Him, but I suspect that they will pale in comparison to the staggering dimensions of the total meltdown that is awaiting me in the near future.

This brings up a key issue that I have to make a daily decision about. If I want to maintain control over my life, to try to continue to protect my own reputation or manipulate what others think about me, I will not be able to move fully into this thawing experience and will find myself sliding toward an even deeper darkness that will encapsulate me in even deeper glacier's than I have ever been in before. The only viable option that I can choose as I move forward is to practice the art of letting go of control over my life, of releasing my grip on my guidance systems and to increasingly trust the heart of the One who offers to lead me to a place that I am currently too afraid to go to by myself.

As I keep letting go, as I become more and more willing to die so that His life can thrive within me, I am assured that the outcome is not only going to be amazing beyond belief but that everything I have ever longed for or could even dream for will be realized in dimensions that I do not yet even have capacity to imagine. This is the future promised for everyone willing to lay down their weapons of defense, who surrender to the offers of love and forgiveness and allow themselves to be swallowed up in the waves of passion and love that flow from the very throne of God. That is what I want and this is what I choose. And as Luther said in his greatest hour of terror, “So help me God!”

Discipline and Respect

This is a subject about which I have far more questions than I do answers or even suggestions. But it is also something that I am beginning to sense is far more important than it is ever given credit for or receives proper attention. It is also something that I have almost no experience with from personal mentoring so I have nearly no background from which to draw positive examples from extensively.

But as with many things that I end up writing and thinking about, it came to me earlier this morning just as I was waking up. It is the idea of respect, but from a different angle than how I have viewed it previously. I have a whole series on DVD, a seminar called Love and Respect that has been a tremendous resource for learning how men and women should relate to each other in the plan of God's design, especially in marriage. But as I was pondering the idea of respect this morning I had completely forgotten that seminar and was honestly trying to imagine what this word respect really means at all.

The reason I was drawing such a blank was because I was thinking about it from the perspective of how children are treated instead of how adults might treat each other. Even as I gave a cursory overview in my mind of the way that most adults treat their children or even the way many children treat each other, I realized that the most starkly missing ingredient seems to be the element of respect.

As I think about this concept of respecting children, it almost sounds like a conflict of interests. To suggest that a parent or adult should treat a child respectfully, even when disciplining them, seems to fly in the face of the assumptions most have about the reasons for punishment. Our ideas about punishment are almost always infected with counterfeit ideas from our surroundings and culture and upbringing. They are also heavily influenced by our own emotions and faulty concepts about truth. But what I am now realizing is that the problem here lies in our assumptions and reasons for punishing or disciplining children much more than in just the issue of whether they need respect or not.

Note that I said that children need respect, not that they deserve our respect. At first this sounds almost bizarre or even wrong. The first thing that jumps to mind when even considering the idea of treating children respectfully while dealing with misbehavior is that most people generally assume that children must be taught to always respect adults but almost no one ever sees the need for respect to go in the other direction. Respect and obedience are usually strongly linked together and if we can't get them to respect us we at least demand that they obey us unquestioningly.

The only thing that I can think of that usually comes to mind in most people's thinking about the issue of respecting children is when it comes to their sexuality. It is generally accepted, if not always practiced, that everyone should respect all children when it comes to not sexually abusing them. There is great social stigma associated with people in this country who sexually abuse children. However, this stigma sometimes is so exaggerated that people who are not guilty of real abuse are often accused of such by overzealous witch-hunters.

But I am not thinking about this arena so much as I am wanting to explore the issue of how we generally treat children, either our own or others, who are doing things that cause us discomfort or disagree with us. What is the spirit that infects our feelings whenever we see a child “acting up” and want to see them “corrected”? Is it even necessary to give consideration that respect should be a viable element to incorporate into our relationships with children outside of respect for their sexual safety? Is it important or even possible to have a deep level of open respect for a child while at the same time effectively dealing with misbehavior? Or will respect undermine our efforts to modify their behavior and make them be good?

Can we demand and excite the respect of our children by spanking them? Do we teach them to respect us by yelling at them, by getting angry and impatient with them, by demanding explicit obedience from them without trying to understand their perspective? Can we demand that our children respect us while miserably failing or not even attempting to respect them at the very same moment?

Do you see where this is tending to move? The more the questions come, the closer we begin to move toward exposing some of our own selfishness, pride and dysfunction in the way we relate to children. I am convinced that much if not most so-called discipline is far more about controlling children's behavior in order to make the parents or adults “look good” than it has to do with the beneficial training and character growth of the child. When the truth is more explicit, it becomes much more obvious that far too much of what we call discipline has very little to do with discipling them and much more to do with punitive control and venting of frustrations and anger on the part of adults.

One of the biggest problems in society today but that is seldom recognized is that most adults attempting to raise children or deal with other people's children are not really yet properly matured themselves. Because of this they are honestly incapable of knowing how to raise children effectively for the real nurture and good of the child. But the greater problem is that they seldom realize this fact and believe that they are acting reasonably and responsibly. But all the time they are in fact just passing along the dysfunction of their own messed up childhood to yet another generation and failing to model to their children the very character traits that they claim to be trying to teach them.

When I think about this issue of respect in relationship to children, it becomes evident that most people assume that children should always respect adults but respect in the other direction is seldom mentioned. It seems very much like the accepted norm that this is a one-way street and this assumption is almost never challenged. In fact, it almost sounds like heresy to suggest that a parent should treat a child openly respectful at all times. And to suggest that respect should be unconditional from this perspective sounds even more extreme, maybe even absurd.

But as I thought back over what I learned from the Love and Respect seminar about the fundamental definitions of what real respect is from the perspective of a husband and wife and how much that can improve their relationship with each other, it also occurred to me that the very same dynamics will produce similar results if we would apply the very same principles and insights to the way that we treat our children. If we would model to them respect under pressure – the pressure of their misbehavior and/or embarrassing us in public – then it would only make sense that they would begin to learn by example how to treat us with the same respect that they are seeing in our lives. This, by the way, is what real mentoring is all about. And mentoring is the essence of true discipling.

What I guess I am moving toward is the fact that true learning, when it comes to character development, happens far more effectively and takes place at a far deeper level of the mind when it is modeled. Effective learning is far deeper than demands or instructions. True learning involves demonstrating by example so that the heart can observe what it looks like to act like one's self. So when we insist that children must respect us and our rules or requests, it is not going to be our words that will make so much of an impact as it is going to be the way that we ourselves act whenever we find ourselves challenged by situations that tempt us to not act respectfully.

And what situation is more obvious to a child than how a parent or adult acts in response to the child's actions themselves. When a child makes a mistake or even intentionally commits an infraction of our rules, what attitudes do we demonstrate in our spirit when interacting with them under those circumstances? What emotions do we allow to take over our own words and actions whenever we are faced with people who don't cooperate with us, especially children?

Now I see another element beginning to move into the picture. This is the issue of authority – another very misunderstood word that ignites a lot of intensity in many people's minds including my own. There is plenty of examples of abuse of authority which cause us to seriously misunderstand what it really is or how to relate to it. But aligning ourselves properly to authority in the way that God designs us to live is right at the center of this issue of respect between adults and children. For it is quite evident to most people that adults are supposed to fill a role of authority for children, but at the same time the way their conduct themselves in that role is very often more abusive than it is helpfully instructive.

Because of our own confused ideas about authority and the penchant we have for complaining about the authorities that rule over us in various capacities, we generally fail to give our children any good example of how to understand the true nature of what real authority is supposed to look like or how to relate to it correctly. We complain much about our political leaders, their faults, mistakes and corruption. We complain about the leaders in our church or our families and we generally do this without any regard for the mental images being created in the minds of our children about the nature of authority and how they should view it. Then in exercising our own authority in the lives of our children we often demonstrate the very same corruption that we accuse others of doing; we abuse our own superior strength and advantages for our own benefits in relationship to those weaker and younger than us and think nothing of it. We even ignore the plain commands of Jesus regarding the treatment of children and relegate those instructions to just nice-sounding children's stories told in church.

I want to go back to the issue of the unconditional nature of respect. This was probably the most surprising thing that I learned about respect from the Love and Respect seminar that I have viewed several times. (For more information see my page on Resources) There were many things about respect that I found quite surprising and enlightening, but the idea that respect needs to be just as constant and unconditional as love is to be was at first a real shock to me as I think it is to most people who see this seminar for the first time. It sounds almost like heresy at first to think that respect is not something that has to be earned. In fact, in our world it is openly taught and assumed that respect is something that must always be earned. This counterfeit concept is one of the main reasons why there is so much confusion about respect and now I am realizing that it also infects our thinking about our relationship to authorities as well as to our children.

But in the true principles of reality as God designed it, respect is simply not a nice option to have bestowed on those who are honest enough to deserve it. In fact, now that I think of it more clearly, respect is another one of those unconditional character traits of God that comes as part of His grace which is also something that is clearly not earned. When I begin to consider how God treats us (I am talking about the real God of heaven, not the counterfeit assumptions about God promoted by religion that I have been discarding for a number of years now), I start to see a true model of how a parent should respect their child while working to correct their mistakes, nurture their spirit, encourage their growth and increase their maturity.

I could go on much more about this I am starting to see. But at this point I want to try to capture the essence of what I am starting to understand about this issue. If we want our children to be respectful, it is extremely important for us to demonstrate respect, to model respect in the way we treat them, not just simply demand it. And the most important and effective time to do this is when we are under the pressure of dealing with their dysfunctions, not just when they are acting “normal”.

It might be easier for us to pay attention to how we model respect in front of our children while relating to other authorities in our own lives, and that is also important for their training. But to train ourselves to act with kindness, patience, self-control, true, selfless love and freedom from all anger when dealing with their defiance or rebellion – that is a far more important tool for mentoring our children in real respect and self-control than anything else we might say or do. And failure to be respectful to our children will also plant the seeds that will quickly spring up in their own hearts that we will soon have to deal with even more so in their reactions to our attempts to exercise authority in their lives later on.

This rethinking of the way we all relate to children is not going to happen just by discussing it or making more rules for ourselves or others. This will have little to no effect on changing the root problems of our own heart that betray us when under the pressure of confrontations with our children. We must learn to be much more honest about the real motives and feelings inside of us whenever we are exposed by the misbehavior of children, whether our own or someone else's. Until there is true honesty about our own heart motives and our faulty thinking, there can never be true effective change in the way we relate to children. We may be able to put on a good front, assert strong arguments to justify our actions and words or believe that we can raise obedient children without treating them with respect on certain occasions, but we will not be able to nurture and mentor them in the ways of life.

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that there can be no exceptions to this requirement for respecting others. God does not ever suspend His respect for us, and if we think He does this opens up a huge reservoir of issues that needs to be addressed before we will be able to relate to this issue properly and truthfully. Again as I have seen in every other issue of importance, the fundamental feelings and beliefs that we hold deep in our hearts about how we think God treats us and feels about us always determines the way that we relate to and treat each other. So if we want to deal effectively with emerging problems in our relationships with others, it will be much quicker and easier to implement those changes into our lives if we will first expose and challenge our false notions about how God relates to us.

The way that we treat our children may likely be the most clear indicator of our true beliefs about how we think God relates to us. Whether it be permissive, abusive or dismissive, if we have confused, faulty views of what God is like they are always going to emerge in the way that we treat our children. So in addition to being willing to change the way we treat our children we must also address effectively the false notions that we have about how God relates to us. And to our amazement and delight we will discover that the clearer our picture becomes of God's true nature and His characteristics that we never really appreciated before, the easier it will become to treat our children and everyone else in new ways.

Our lives will then begin to reflect our growing appreciation of God's goodness, kindness and love and true justice. And as our own lives begin to reflect the growing truths that we see in the face of Jesus, our mentoring will begin to have its own transformative effect on the next generation and we will begin to fulfill more effectively our role as “temporary gods” in the lives of our children. We will show them in human flesh what God is really like whom they cannot yet see with their eyes. As a result we can have the privilege of translating the truth about God into human language for our children – language that involves our body language, our heart language through our spirit as well as our verbal language.

Indigestion Mutiny

As I was driving to work this morning and thinking about the mutiny that my stomach has been conducting over the past few days, I got to thinking about how this might be a lesson for me about my relationship to the body of Christ or maybe some of the problems that we experience in the local church.

So, what does my stomach going on strike for a few days have to do with the church?

Well, I decided to think about it a little more. My stomach for the past few days seems to have almost completely shut down operations and gone on vacation with little concern for the feelings or well-being of the rest of my body. It refuses to process almost anything that I have tried to coax it to take. About all that I could put in it without serious complaining for the first couple days was water. Even the herbal tea that I fixed thinking it would settle my stomach the first morning only caused it to rebel intensively and instantly which left me with no illusions of trying that idea again for a long time.

After a couple days I tried to eat a little soup in the evening after eating nothing all day, but it sat like lead in my stomach and only served to get me up very early in the morning not feeling well at all and caused me to regret that I had tried to eat anything. I finally got the message that I would just have to leave it alone until it was good and ready to go back to work. Meanwhile the rest of my body was languishing for nourishment and I was getting so weak that I could not stand up or work for very long without sitting down frequently and catching my breath.

It occurred to me that maybe there could be an important lesson in this about what is going on in my area of the body of Christ, the local church. It seems to me that the church is exhibiting some of the same symptoms of overall weakness that I have been feeling for the past few days. It also made me wonder if possibly it might be for similar reasons – lack of nourishment due to insufficient digestion of good food.

You see, I have been willing and able all this time to put food into my stomach to supply the needs for the rest of my body at any time. My mouth was more than ready to savor and chew on good food, my nose enjoyed smelling the food that others were eating as were my eyes. In fact, at church this last weekend they had a very delicious-looking and smelling social meal that I really desired to participate in, but my stomach was still out on strike and so it was out of the question. All I could have were a couple glasses of lemonade.

Is it possible that there are parts of the church that are blocking the assimilation of the nourishment that the body so desperately needs just like my stomach and intestines are preventing me from enjoying food and providing for the rest of my body like I need? Is there good spiritual food just waiting to be given to the church members, the body of Christ but certain people who may somehow be in positions of responsibility for the nourishment of the body might be preventing that food from being digested properly or distributed freely? If so, am I part of that problem myself?

The more I come to perceive the real spiritual condition of some of the people around me, the more amazed I am at how empty they are, how malnourished they seem to be when it comes to real spiritual vitality. But instead of feeling critical about this as it is so easy to do, I am becoming concerned that there is somehow a bottleneck in place preventing the normal distribution and digestion system that God designs for the church to have happening all the time.

Spiritual malnourishment is a very serious problem, but it might be due to things that we are overlooking. We might suppose that there simply isn't enough spiritual food available, that we need a good pastor to feed us or better speakers to come visit more often. But that may possibly not be the case at all. Just as there is plenty of good food available for me right now but I can't benefit from it like I want to, there might be food all around us that we simply are refusing to assimilate. Some might suppose that other people are not ready to receive very much spiritual food or that it might be too heavy for them to receive. This may partly be true, but we have been in this condition for so long that I wonder if maybe some want to keep it that way for some reason.

My stomach seems to have me hijacked right now. It acts like it has a mind of its own and a schedule of its own and it is not even willing to tell me when it is going to quit this unusual activity. I feel sometimes as if I am waiting for my stomach to let me know when we can have a reconciliation and can began fully cooperating again like we used to do. But it seems to have a spirit of independence and nothing I try seems to have much effect on changing the situation very much. So I have had to simply let it go without food day after day hoping that it will finally relent and start feeling genuinely hungry so that we can get synchronized again and have all of my body parts in agreement and at peace again. Of course, in the meantime the rest of me is suffering from lack of needed nourishment and strength.

I feel very much the same way in my own church. I feel that many are starving for lack of spiritual nourishment while others are so intent on keeping up appearances that they won't allow much real food to be introduced or digested properly. When good food does show up occasionally they seem to almost feel threatened or resentful at times. This puzzles me and makes me ask God what is really going on here. But I keep getting the sense that I need to wait and allow hunger to have its effect. In fact, I have found myself praying more intently that God will cause all of us to feel much more hungry, intensely hungry so that we will begin to crave real food and will become dissatisfied with the status quo, the superficial and will desire to come together to seek God more intentionally.

Sometimes I feel like I am trying to introduce food into a system that is unwilling to accept it and distribute it. But I also wonder if I might be part of the problem in other ways that I am unaware of as of yet. How might I be blocking others from experiencing God in their lives more fully? Is my spirit discrediting the claims of God to be able to transform people radically? Am I saying one thing and living another, thus giving the body forms of indigestion? Or maybe I am unwilling to be part of the humble system of eliminating wastes that most people find to humiliating to even think about?

I want God to show me how I can cooperate with Him and His plan for healing the serious dysfunction of the digestive system of my church body. It is dangerous to go for long periods of time without proper nutrition. It also prevents the body, whether physical or spiritual, from being able to accomplish much at all of any useful significance when it is barely able to just keep limping along in survival mode.

I am beginning to sense that spiritual vitality is connected with the interactions and the health of the spirit of each person involved. If my spirit is not full of hope, of courage, of faith, of joy and vitality and passion that marks the life of a person connected closely with God, then I am certainly part of the indigestion problem of the body of Christ. In fact, I am rather sure that it wouldn't take long to find some who would confirm that I give them a sense of indigestion.

I am not sure what to do about this condition. I am praying about it and asking God to open my eyes, my mind and especially my heart and to change my spirit even more radically to be part of His solution of healing for the local body. I don't know what that means or what it will involve. I could speculate I suppose, but I would rather hear what God has to say about it. I want to perceive God's solutions, God's plans, God's purposes and what He is doing behind the scenes instead of trying to come up with my own schemes. I believe that finding out what God is up to and cooperating with that makes more sense that trying to fix things with my ideas and solutions. But that takes extra patience most of the time and so I am waiting to hear more from His Spirit.

Meanwhile, I am hoping that with some careful attention and slow improvement my own stomach is beginning to allow me to get a little more processing done of my own. I have been able to eat a little more today, though very small amounts. I have been able to eat a couple pieces of fruit for a couple meals and even got down a salad tonight. I hope it doesn't bother me before morning.

And as far as the church goes, I am still writing down many things that are coming to my mind at various times. But I am also praying that God will open my heart much more, will transform my spirit more radically and that I will be empowered with the unconditional love of Jesus dwelling in me so that others will smell the goodness of God and get excited about feasting at His table.

Floyd's Song

Well, this is going to be a very interesting post. I must share with you one of the most surprising things that has happened to me in a very long time.

As I had noted previously, last Thursday I woke up very early with a stomach bug of some sort and I have been suffering from it ever since. This meant that I could eat almost nothing every day. When I did attempt to eat some soup in the evenings it sat like lead in my stomach overnight and only gave me further problems. So I have had to be just content to drink a little water and whatever else seemed to not upset me too much and wait this out.

I also tried to continue to work the last couple days of last week which also didn't work out too well under these conditions. I was so weak that by by Friday I ended up having to sit down every few minutes to just get enough strength to continue working a few more minutes. I felt totally drained and even could not think very clearly. By noon I was nearly wasted and went home to take a nap and try to recover a little more energy.

What concerned me was that we were scheduled to attend an annual officer's installation banquet for the Barbershop chorus that I belong to on Saturday evening. I realized by this time that at best I might be able to eat only a few bites of the banquet and I just hoped that I might feel strong enough to even attend. About a week ago the president and the director of the chorus both had strongly encouraged me to try to attend and had even discussed with the restaurant how to provide vegetarian food for us since nearly everything they serve contains meat. After all of these accommodations I felt that it would be rather unkind not to try to respond to their generosity.

By Saturday afternoon, even though I had not eaten all day, I felt that I could probably get through the evening O.K. and maybe even be able to eat a few bites of food. I was hoping that maybe I might even be hungry enough by that time that it might actually start digesting instead of just sitting in my stomach all night. But I also wanted to attend this event because it is one of the social highlights of this organization that has become a positive part of my life over this past year. It was in fact, this very event last year that was the first time I had had opportunity to socialize with this group before I had even gotten to know any of them.

As I was laying in front of my fireplace Saturday morning trying to keep my stomach comfortable and just resting, I suddenly began to have an inspiration very much like many of those that end up as blog posts. Only this time it was something along the line of a tribute to the man that I have come to admire and appreciate very much over this past year. It is the father who is the elder member of the father-son team that directs our chorus and has had such a profound influence on keeping this chorus active and attractive for around forty years now.

He is the only member remaining who has been in this chorus ever since it was started. And interestingly this chorus was being started up in this town at just the same time that I was leaving this same town as a young man to go off to boarding high school never to live near here again until just a few years ago. Of course I had no idea at that time about any of these events transpiring in the same town as I was leaving, but it is interesting to look back and see it from this perspective.

This man is a very unique and gifted man. But much more than that he is a man of heart, of passion, a man who cares about people and shows it openly and sometimes unexpectedly. He not only loves music and the men of this chorus but he is a wonderful family man. His son who directs the chorus with him is an adopted son that was raised in their home with love and affection that still shows yet today. And as I watch the way he interacts with his grandchildren I almost become jealous of the love that so obviously surrounds this man's family.

In addition I have also come to sense that this is a man who cares about how God thinks about him. A number of times I have seen his love for God show through as he prays with our chorus before a series of concerts in maybe eight churches in a row. He is also a man that has surprised me at times when an audience's response suddenly induces another part of him to suddenly come alive and our performance unexpectedly takes on an extended dimension that none of us were expecting to experience.

As I thought about all these things and how much I have come to appreciate this guy, I decided that maybe I should take the time to write down how I felt and present it as a sort of tribute to the members and their wives who would be attending the banquet that night. So I grabbed my computer and began writing down everything I could think about and decided that maybe I could end it with a proposition for a toast. As I explained in the tribute, I don't really know anything at all about toasts because I have never been a drinker. But I presumed that everyone else would know what to do and that this might be something that would be meaningful to them maybe even more than to me.

I finished up this tribute in the afternoon and as usual it ended up maybe a bit longer than I intended. I didn't take the time to read it out loud to time it and I didn't really want my wife to read it because she might want to change it too much. (Sometimes things I write are so personal that I feel maybe over-protective of them for awhile which may be good or bad depending on your opinion.) Anyway, I printed it out and didn't tell anyone what I planned to do until after we got to the banquet room.

After we had been there for awhile I decided to check with the president who was in charge of the program for the evening to find out when I might be able to read my tribute. I didn't tell him what it was about, but he informed me that at the end of the meal I was supposed to step out of the room and practice with a quartet for awhile so we could sing at the beginning of the program. This was news to me, but he told me that just before we sang I could read my paper.

That sounded fine with me. Since it would be right at the end of the meal that meant that a toast would seem to make sense at that point. A few minutes later we stepped out into another room and they had me rehearse a couple songs with the members of the most talented quartet in the group – minus their regular Bass of course. I really enjoy singing with these guys because they have that sensitivity for the nuances of the music and put in the expressiveness that is so important for music and that I like to use. After we practiced for about ten minutes we returned to the banquet room and began the program. Little did I realize the real reason that they had taken me out of the room.

After a few comments by the president, he called up our quartet and we sang our two songs. I was beginning to wonder when I might be able to read my tribute but had no chance to even try. Immediately after our performance the director rushed up to me and announced to the audience that they had a special surprise for me. He then brought forward a chair and made me sit down facing the front while the whole chorus gathered in front of me to sing me a song that the director had obviously just composed in the last few days. This song was titled, “Floyd's Song” and expressed their appreciation for my work to take the handwritten, difficult to read music and transcribe it into professional-looking, readable notation so that we could practice and learn our music much easier.

As they expected, I was completely caught by surprise by this. What I hadn't known was that while I was just out of the room they had been practicing this song themselves for the very first time. Though this is something typical of what our director does, I had never expected anything of this sort in response for the little efforts that I have made to contribute to the improvement of this chorus. They have already purchased the music software for me that I needed to do this job and I have enjoyed just being able to make the music easier to read. I really felt it was not necessary to make such a big deal out of it and I certainly wasn't expecting a full-blown musical production to be made of it. But here I sat in a chair being serenaded by the whole chorus singing about my history with them and their humorous musical appreciation for the work that I have been doing behind the scenes to help them.

At the end of the music, two of the men came forward and presented me with a couple very nice gifts. One was a wrapped present which they insisted that I open and show to everyone. It is a book about music that will likely be very helpful in assisting me to figure out some of the Latin and various sometimes confusing rules needed to write music. The other was a beautiful card with a check enclosed that simply left me speechless. I felt so overwhelmed and almost guilty that I really didn't know what to say. I was about to say that I was simply speechless, but then I realized I would be sabotaging my own plans to make a speech. So then I was really left with nothing I could think of to say.

At that point as everyone returned to their seats while shaking my hands as they passed by, I turned around and announced that I was going to hijack the program and that turn-about was fair play. I then pulled out my own 3-page tribute to the very man who had instigated this whole affair and proceeded to read it out loud while trying to be as expressive as possible. Now, you would have to know me a little better to realize that doing this does not come naturally for me. I have found it far easier to write than to speak in public and this is one reason that I decided to write this out and chose to read it instead of attempting to simply speak it off the cuff. While I don't like listening to others read their speeches, I still don't feel comfortable being able to speak myself effectively.

As I neared the end of the first page I began to realize that this was going to take much longer than I had anticipated (about like this post). But I tried to be as expressive as I could and to make eye contact, especially with the man that the tribute was about who was sitting right in front of me. I have to say that I was extremely glad that I had followed my impressions to write this and to give it, for after the unexpected and almost embarrassing experience of being the center of focus myself, I was so glad that I was already prepared to turn the attention around and express my gratitude and thanks to the one who had been behind all this. I really believe that it was God who had prompted me to write this in the first place and who knew that I would want it just when I did.

I was afraid all day that I might become too emotional to even finish the speech and that I would be publicly embarrassed even more. (Yes, I still struggle with a lot of internal fears) When I got to the place in my talk where I pointed him out for everyone's attention, I almost lost it. I knew I had a lot farther to go, but I also realized that allowing emotion to be seen also reinforces the authenticity of my words so I really didn't want to suppress them too much. I just wanted to be able to finish the talk for myself and not depend on someone else to read it in my place.

Actually, the whole day, both before and after this event, I was thinking about the positive benefits that I was feeling simply from choosing to be appreciative. I began to realize how much I have been missing out on in life because I have such a very low level of appreciation in general. I have had this dreadful condition all of my life but I would like it to change as quickly as possible. I have been learning more and more about the power of praise and have begun sensing that there is incredible power to overcome all sorts of evil influences simply through the exercise of gratitude and praise in all directions, not just toward God. I realize that this is old news to many other people, but it is something that still has to soak into my deeper consciousness for myself, not something that can be forced or imposed on me.

The glow from the emotions and bonding that took place last night still lingers strongly and will continue in various ways for a long time to come. It may even likely become seeds that will in turn germinate to produce other random acts of kindness and appreciation that will in turn germinate yet more. It is really the way that true reality was originally designed to function all the time and has only been severely obscured by the darkness of sin and lies about God. Satan is terrified that we will discover this most potent weapon against his power in our lives, but I am determined to become more familiar with its use and to have much more of its benefits in my life and to influence those around me. I want to participate in God's ways of doing things and to attract others to see God differently. As they come to appreciate the real truth about Him and dispose of the lies they have always thought, they too can join the symphony of praise that brings life and joy and healing to the growing family of God.

Persecution

Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. (2 Timothy 3:12)

I am not feeling well today. I woke up this morning right at 2 AM and had to get out of bed feeling like I was about to lose the contents of my stomach. I spent the rest of the morning huddled in front of our fireplace keeping warm and trying to position my body in various ways to appease my upset tummy and hopefully keep it contained until it recovers. As a result I will be rather late for work today if I manage to feel well enough to go at all.

As I felt a little better, at least enough to sit in my chair and read a little, the impression came to me of a verse that is well known among Christians. It is the verse quoted above. As I thought about this verse I sensed that this is yet another one of those places in the Bible that I have usually subconsciously avoided and where some of my inner discomfort gets exposed whenever I read it. I am not sure why God wants me to think about this right now, but even saying that much arouses feelings of apprehension that betray the very issues that I need to get healing for, to get freedom from.

I think it started up this morning while I was thinking about my relationship and feelings about my various blog sites. I have tried to be very careful to not allow these to become a source of pride or a soapbox for me that are used to try to force others to change their opinions about certain subjects. That is not to say that I don't think it is right to present things that differ from what other people believe. The closer I get to God and the more clear my perceptions of His ways have become, the more I feel inner urges to share these life-changing insights and discoveries with anyone that God may lead to read what I have been learning.

But I am also aware of some other dynamics that lie a bit more obscured in my heart in regards to this as well as my relationship in other aspects to those who believe differently than me. My personality has long been one that in certain respects is very timid and fearful about upsetting other people with ideas that they strongly disagree with and that might likely stir up intense opposition. I have had a life-long aversion even toward sales jobs because they almost always require that one uses pressure to change other people's opinions so that they will buy what you are selling. I used to say that I couldn't even sell a heater to an Eskimo. But what I am beginning to sense more clearly this morning is that at a deeper level, part of what I am really afraid of is persecution.

Now I feel compelled to qualify even that statement. I have seen way too many people who almost seem to thrive on a persecution complex, who seem to consider it a badge of honor or an affirmation of correctness to get themselves persecuted for being at odds with others in religious things. I am all too familiar with that kind of confused thinking and I do not want to fall into that model either. But what I am sensing is that my deeply-rooted fears of arguments and opposition, especially when they attack my vulnerable weaknesses through shame and dishonor, these fears are preventing me from fulfilling the role and intentions that my heavenly Father intends for me to carry out within the body.

I have long been very aware of Satan's penchant for using fear to manipulate and stifle the people of God. That is such a classic tactic that it should be a no-brainer to unmask and avoid. But fear lies at the very root of our fallen nature and controls us through the heart, not the mind. As such it is one of the greatest battles that anyone has to face. Feeling vulnerable to having my sense of value diminished, while cognitively is something I can perceive, still is a major threat when it comes to my heart feelings. And it is what we believe in the heart much more than what we believe in the head that determines our course of action and our decisions under pressure.

But as I thought about this verse this morning I could almost hear the Spirit say quite plainly to me, If you are unwilling to face your fears of persecution, of people attacking what you believe in the wrong spirit; if you don't deal with this vulnerability in your character, then in reality you are unwilling to live a godly life in Christ Jesus. I sense that this is simply a statement of reality, a law of the universe that is unavoidable and non-negotiable just as much as gravity. It is a choice of one option or the other. If avoiding conflict takes precedence over accountability to God's directions in my life personally, then the alternative to suffering persecution will be a life that is not godly from heaven's perspective.

I do not have to go to the other extreme and try to stir up opposition to me in order to live godly. That is just as un-godlike as avoiding confrontation at all costs. But I am realizing more clearly as I take time to meditate on this that God wants me to listen to what He has to say to my heart about this and cooperate with whatever plans He has for me in this area. I am in desperate need of boldness while still maintaining a spirit of meekness and humility. And those are not mutually exclusive character traits.

I suspect that possibly everyone is sooner or later going to have to make a decision on this point and maybe it is time for me to face it more openly. If I am really serious about living a godly life in Christ Jesus – and I am – then I have to allow the Spirit to expose these vulnerable areas of weakness in my soul and give Him permission to began seriously launching some major healing and repair operations inside of me.

As I read through the next few verses I began to also see some other exciting things that I have never noticed before. But right now I think I will leave this here since I still don't feel well enough to focus very long.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject if you feel convicted in this area or if you just have some good counsel for me. I am just as much in need of admonition and encouragement as everyone else in the body.