Concluding Reservations part 2

This is a continuation from part 1 posted previously.

So what am I to do now? What am I to learn and how am I to relate, not only with these people but in my interpretation of what I have observed when I talk with others about it? I do not want to be self-righteous in any way or feel superior because I can see their short-comings in theology. I very much want to have the Spirit of Jesus in how I view these people and I want to acknowledge the work that appears to be from God producing whatever fruits are legitimate in their lives. I don't believe I have the discernment to sort through which fruit is from God and which is from subtle legalism which does bother me to some extent. And part of that is because I still have not finished by own maturing process that would give me the required ability for really wise discernment. I can only depend on the promptings of the Holy Spirit who is able to differentiate between the bones and the marrow.

But what I need myself most of all is a fresh infusion of life and intimacy with Jesus in my own soul and spirit. I feel that living this close to people who demonstrate compelling “Christianity” whom I should not condemn but with whom I cannot fully agree has somehow left me a little confused and feeling empty. It has stirred up old feelings of fear, guilt-motivation and intimidation so familiar to me from institutions that I have lived in in the past. I now need a deeper reassurance of the truths that God has been bringing to my attention at much deeper levels in my own heart. What I really want is the genuine experience that is only approximated by the wonderful results I am seeing in this community. I really believe that when the real deal shows up, that as effective and compelling as these people's lives are, the truth and glory that will fill the whole earth foretold in Revelation 18 will make this look like infant babbling. This is a start in the right direction in some respects but there is far more power if it was carried out in the pure atmosphere of complete doctrinal truth but free from all fear or force.

Something I noticed last night in their answers to my questions was the fact that they believe the sharing of all things practiced by the early church was a requirement imposed by the apostles. That confirmed my earlier instincts that these communities are employing elements not found in the true model because they believe it is not possible to accomplish without the use of some degree of control. It is the ingredient of control that warns me that this is not yet the genuine. That is one of the truths that has been coming much more clear to me over the past few months and is one of the tests that my heart applies to any model or church or person to see if it is valid and of God or has the diluting ingredients mixed in that will weaken it in some way. Anytime I detect fear and control being subscribed to as legitimate means of accomplishing the work of God my heart goes into high alert and warns me that all is not right here. God has a much better plan and I need to keep searching while learning whatever can be gleaned from the present.

When I asked about a person's freedom to see things differently in the Bible than what the church passes down I was told that everyone always has perfect freedom. But they went on to explain that freedom means they are free to either submit to the collective body and beliefs of the church or they are free to disagree and take their life back into their own hands and away from Jesus. What is becoming clear is that, like the Catholic church, they believe the authority of the church preempts the personal relationship and conscience of the individual in spiritual matters.

Sadly, it looks like overall to me that they are actually attempting to put together some of the very same formulas for religion that have already been used by the very groups that they claim have failed God in the past and that they believe are replaced by their “nation”. They believe that they must develop holiness in their lives to a point that will allow the Messiah to return and set up His reign on earth. This is exactly the beliefs of the Jews in the time of Christ and is precisely why they rejected Jesus when He appeared as the Son of God. Jesus did not fit their criteria for religion and did not have the same agenda for power-sharing as they had. Nor did He share their interpretations of the religious words like “holiness”, “righteousness” or what it means to keep the law of God. This is the great burden of much of Paul's writings as he tried to expose the impossibility of achieving our own righteousness instead of trusting fully in God's righteousness.

The second formula they are trying to use has already been refined and practiced for hundreds of years by the Catholic church and many other Protestant churches, again without real success in pleasing God. They apparently believe that the only way to keep people together in unity and fellowship is to carefully restrict and control the minds and hearts of every member of the body from the head of the church. They only allow the leadership to think “outside the box” or to search for truth and seem to believe that anyone else in the organization cannot be allowed to listen directly to the leading of the Holy Spirit. They are afraid that to trust God to coordinate and facilitate the unity of His body will result in fracturing and disharmony and would undermine all that they have spent years to build up.

This is just the same kind of thinking that underlies the doctrine of the Catholic church that only the Pope is qualified to correctly interpret Scriptures and his views must be considered as priority above anyone else's ideas or teachings. This was refined and enforced so strongly during the dark ages that most people were not even allowed to touch or read the Bible for themselves on pain of death. But controlling and restricting access to the Spirit of God and the Throne of Grace is a tragic violation of the individual freedom that God demands as the right of every person He created and for anyone to violate that freedom and take away those rights is a crime against heaven itself.

I believe that it is only when people are so filled with a real revelation of the love of God for them personally that they will spontaneously devote all of their inferior possessions and relationships in love. Then will be seen the real demonstration of the true body of Christ. I believe that when the Holy Spirit is trusted to draw all men to the same Jesus and the same picture of God, when Jesus and an intimate connection with Him becomes the centerpiece instead of doctrines filtered through men before being passed on to others, then we will see the real thing, the real demonstration of purity, love and power the way Jesus revealed it in His life here on earth. We will see what real servant leadership looks like in place of control over others. We will see love and affection for one another and for our enemies that is totally spontaneous and unstoppable. We will see the real glory of God in the revelation of His character of humility, compassion and self-forgetful service flowing from hearts burning with the same passion that drives all of the heavenly hosts and emanates from the throne of God. There will be no need for restrictions and control to produce true righteousness, it will flow from hearts filled with the same Holy Fire that has burned away all selfishness and fear. There will be no desire to rule over others and rise to a dominate place of power for it will be understood that real power in the kingdom of Heaven is only found in totally humble, selfless service and unconditional love for everyone within our sphere.

While the doctrines should not be used as the attracting feature to draw people to Christ, the doctrines do become the underlying driving and determining factors in what the results will look like as worked out in the life. One reason all the churches are so powerless in my opinion is because of the mixed ideas about God still clung to in their doctrines or implied in some of their teachings. And the reason the 12 Tribes are not producing even more compelling attractiveness for God is because of the same problem, though from different doctrines in some cases.

What I am holding out for is a much deeper heart transformation than what is happening within this religion. Because they employ the use of apparently a heavy hierarchy in their model of governance and base their authority on a mixture of Scriptures and men's desire for control, the results they are producing while on the surface very good are inferior to what God really wants to accomplish. I do not believe that selfless giving can ever be a legitimate requirement externally imposed, it must be a natural fruit of a total rearrangement of priorities and values due to a very personal and intimate connection with the heart of God directly by each individual involved.

When men try to use alternative means of producing the symptoms described in the Acts believers than what really motivated those believers, they may be able to produce very good-looking results but it will always be far short of the deeper results of genuine heart-work from exposure to the real truth about God. God's glory is far greater than the imagined glory in the minds of the people in this church or any other other church I know of. These people believe that their glory will be found in ruling over others in God's kingdom. They believe that it is their job to put all of God's enemies under His footstool before Jesus can return. But they are trying to do things that God has never asked men to do. They are insisting that grace is given in response to obedience instead of in order to obey. This comes from typical misinterpretations of religious words prevalent throughout Christianity. Until we get a better grasp on the real meaning of the words we extract from the Bible we will continue to come up with external, man-produced ideas of what God's plans really are.

Concluding Reservations part 1

I awoke somewhere around 2:30 AM and felt uneasy enough that I could not go back to sleep. I started thinking and praying and trying to bring into focus whatever might be bothering me either in my mind or in my spirit. There are a number of potential things that could be at the root but I feel a need to get up and focus my heart on God and process on whatever He wants do within me. So here I am.

First I would like to finish my review of what I observed and experienced yesterday. The meals here have been very delicious and filling. Yesterday for breakfast we had something made up of a layer of oats topped with a layer of applesauce and then another layer of oats and then baked. This was put onto my bowl and then smothered with a generous portion of homemade yogurt and then homemade applesauce added. It was most delicious. Prior to this we had maté with milk in it. Every meal has some version of maté with some flavor added, usually a juice. Last night it was grape.

For lunch on Sabbath we were served chips, popcorn and wraps which were most delicious. For supper we were served in a separate house away from the group's most sacred time together called Breaking of Bread. We had salad and soup which was more than I could eat. I have not yet gotten hungry since the first meal we had here Friday night. Last night's meal was called a guest meal because anyone who is not part of their “covenant” must separate from the “brothers” to give them full privacy for their weekly (I assume) fellowship of total heart intimacy together in a highly personalized and enhanced communion service. I am not sure but I have a hunch that the women may not be a part of that service.

By what I could gather from answers to my questions and observe after the fact it appears that they choose partners much like Adventists do with which to share a footwashing time and then lay around Mid-eastern style on cushions or fleeces on oriental rugs and literally break bread and share some kind of meal together while opening their hearts in total vulnerability to each other. I was told that they consider this entering into the Holy of Holies in fellowship with one another. I am not sure what all that means in their minds or what it entails, but it does strongly convey that they consider this one of the most sacred rites of their practice of religion. Beyond these observations further comments by me would be pretty much total speculation at this point.

During the “guest meal” we were given opportunity to “ask any question we want” of the people assigned to host us. They were very nice and were open and straightforward in their answers though always careful to use the required terminology of “our Master” and other Hebrew-flavored phrases and words. Many of my thoughts were confirmed but I still did not have all my curiosity satisfied – mostly because I didn't think of everything I needed to ask.

It has become quite clear to me though, that this church firmly insists that they are the replacement for Christianity as a whole though they do believe in the Bible. They teach that God has foreordained that there would be three chances for “a chosen group of people” on earth to reveal His character to the world primarily through successful obedience to His requirements so that He could return and set up His literal kingdom on this earth. They believe that the Jews were the first people who failed to fulfill their mission and were replaced by the Christian movement which has subsequently failed to produce proper fruits of righteousness. And since they insist that the Word of God is interpreted literally when it talks about God's desire for a “righteous nation” then they fully believe that they are the third option that is going to fulfill all these prophecies of the Bible so that God will be allowed to return. They believe that their church must be viewed as a nation of sorts so that they can fulfill that requirement of God.

Because they believe that they are the replacement for Christianity as God's chosen nation on earth to usher in His millenial reign, they evidently tend to shun many things associated with mainstream Christianity such as Christian songs and even work hard to change much of their terminology so as to distinguish themselves as different from Christians. While they talk about Jesus and God using Biblical passages they prefer to use the Hebrew names for the prophets and for Jesus. They even believe that they need to change their own names to Hebrew names, I suppose so as to feel more like the chosen nation that replaces ancient Israel. Part of their assumed commission as they see it is to also put all of God's enemies under His footstool whatever that implies.

With such a background context they also insist that the words of Jesus about forsaking all including family members for His sake in order to be a legitimate disciple quite literally means cutting off completely any spiritual ties of authority from the outside that would interfere with the churches total priority and control over their spiritual guidance. They justify this by maintaining that the only way they can maintain unity and not disintegrate into just another of the many fractured denominations seen in the world today (they say there are something like 40,000) is for each person to surrender completely their sovereignty and opinions to the body of believers and the guidance of the leaders within the communities who are in turn completely under the control of the overall leadership of the religion. They teach that all the truth they need to know will come through the anointed leadership in session and directly revealed to them by God. Anything less than strict obedience to their teachings is a violation of the sacred covenant entered into at baptism and cannot be countenanced. Furthermore they practice what is known as “closed communion” which is quite understandable given the level of vulnerability that I assume takes place during that service. But it is also, I am sure, a potential time of reinforcing the bonds of authority within the body of believers as well as the bonds of fellowship and caring for one another.

As my mind tried to search for what is making me feel “not at rest” this morning, I sense that I may be observing something of a deception that is far more subtle than anything I have ever seen. They have a very rich way in which they celebrate Sabbath and have produced clear and obvious good-looking results of living in close and harmonious communities. It has many very attractive aspects to recommend this lifestyle which in many ways are very compelling, especially when compared to the mediocre and lifeless religion of most churches today. There are thousands who are talking the talk but who are nowhere near actually committing to living in close dependent communities like these people are doing. As one of them stated last night in his testimony, where is there anyone else producing the evidence of a real change in lives like that described in the book of Acts like what can be seen here. The churches, including my own denomination, make all sorts of claims but the evidence of real love for one another expressed in very real life is difficult to find anywhere. That is the most compelling attraction that this group seems to have.

But in that lies the greatest danger as I see it. Not that living this kind of life is necessarily wrong in all respects, but because so much of it seems to be right and particularly because it produces results that appear very close to what the Bible describes in the New Testament church. There are so few examples of anything approaching what can be seen here that it makes it very difficult to argue against their logic.

But the more truth there is in something the more subtly dangerous a little bit of error can be that is mixed in. Unfortunately we usually react to that by rejecting the whole package giving us excuse to not be convicted by the need to enter into the genuine life of fellowship that would produce similar but superior results to what can be seen here. And since the genuine is not very clear on the horizon as yet it makes it very confusing and frustrating to know how to relate to this. Hence part of my feeling of uneasiness.

Their doctrines about life after death and the final destinies of man are so far out of line with Biblical truth that it certainly prevents me from seriously considering joining this movement. That however, is not only where the danger lies. What is far more subtle is my hearts question about the real causes for the most excellent external results apparently seen in the way they raise their children and treat each other. I have no doubt that most of their interactions are sincere and good which accounts for their unusual success in producing far above average children in morals, politeness and peaceful living. But the part where it gets into the sterner areas that most likely takes place mostly out of sight are the elements that disturb me and make me wonder if there is not some “leaven in this bread”.

Most people believe that a little bit of necessary force is necessary for sinful men to successfully achieve the obedience necessary to produce the results desired, but it is right at this point that what I have been learning for the past few years comes into sharper focus. It challenges not only the assumptions of this church but the assumptions of nearly every human. It really goes back to what is a truthful understanding of how God operates and relates to us that is not yet completely settled in my own mind.

Tied into this is the disturbing belief that one's sovereignty must be completely surrendered to the body before fellowship can really connect. This flies in the face of my emerging understanding that the true body of Christ cannot be so easily externally distinguished at this point as most churches would like to imagine and that there are many places that I may find true believers in heart. I believe that until after the Second Coming of Christ only the Spirit of God at this point knows who are true followers and will alert observant and mindful people to opportunities to connect with hearts in sometimes most unusual circumstances. In short, I believe the body of Christ cannot be defined by men's external boundaries or artificial distinctions and we must have much more trust in God than in the outward appearances. But that reasoning becomes even more difficult to justify when confronted with compelling results like that seen in the outward lifestyle of the people belonging to the 12 Tribes communities.

I do not want to be condemning of this group in the slightest. I want to make it very clear that I believe they are very sincere in their pursuit of holiness and trying very, very hard to develop a character in harmony with the law of God. That is a noble desire although if their eyes could be opened more (along with all of us) it would be seen that they are really following in the footsteps of millions before them in history. I do not want to have a critical spirit about them and I would love to have a bonding connection with them in love. I am greatly inspired by their closeness and devotion and very inspiring worship. Many of their songs are very uplifting and insightful and inspired and their ability to dance before the Lord with joy makes me envious. They are a model of modesty and try to be very friendly to strangers and in many respects have developed a culture of joy and bonding that is desperately needed by the rest of the world.

To visit one of these communities is to see highlighted the failings of every other church that I am aware of including my own. I have no examples to point to as seemingly compelling as what is being demonstrated here. That leaves me almost defenseless if I was to argue against a person joining this movement on the basis of appearances. However, I still feel an uneasiness at my deepest gut level about this movement. I do not believe that most of these people are evil or diabolical or intentionally deceiving others. I think they are mostly genuinely sincere. What I do sense a little bit though is some of the most subtle deceptions that are so attractive found in shades of a little legalism mixed in with lots of New Testament theology. These are areas of intense debate in all churches and contribute to the issues in this case.

part 2

Reservations about 12 Tribes

I keep picking up more clues about the underlying control that is likely going on in the 12 Tribes communities. Coming from the background of living around groups that desperately want to appear correct and godly but buy into the belief that there must be a certain amount of coercion involved to accomplish this end, I recognize certain looks and words that speak volumes as to what may be going on behind the scenes. This is not to say that I am looking at a full-blown cult or that this group is diabolical or evil – I am not saying that at all. But there are certain things that I see that I firmly believe will be absent when the true family of God is matured and assembled in the last days revealing the true glory of God as never before seen in history and only glimpsed for a short time after Pentecost.

While I believe that most of these people are much happier and peaceful and loving than the average person in most other religions, I also sense that there is a lot of stifling of personal inquisitiveness and individual exploration of truth. To keep unity in these communities it is becoming clear both from the thoughts expressed and from the clear absence of anything but Bibles and church-produced leaflets around the home that there is very strict rules likely in place about what followers are allowed to read, think or even question. I have several times picked up an intense sense that even my presence when talking about questions of spiritual things is seen as a danger and I seem to be watched carefully much of the time. I sense that there is reluctance to dialog openly unless there is indication on my part that I am willing to surrender myself and my beliefs to their authority.

I do not feel any danger or threat, but I sense that it would be quite certain that if I were to stay here very long at all, particularly if I were to join them, that there would come a great deal pressure to comply strictly with the clear-cut teachings formulated and propagated by the leaders of this church or I would soon be quite unwelcome. Even in the testimonies given by members it becomes very clear to me that they are very submissively and almost blindly following the spiritual guidance of their mentors and are not really doing hardly any personal thinking for themselves. They are only talking about how their own mind is embracing what has been fed to them through the approved channels. That frightens and alarms me.

There also seems to be an absence so far of certain basic ideas that are prevalent in the New Testament. There is little talk of the grace and a lot of emphasis on strict obedience. There seems to be a lot of attention paid to conforming to the rules of the community and there is also the enforced philosophy of working without receiving any wages. These are personal and unsubstantiated conclusions at this point however. There are pros and cons to this philosophy but I believe that in these communities there is likely little choice about this matter. I have heard absolutely nothing at this point about the cross of Jesus which in true Christianity should the centerpiece of the revelation of God. In fact, so far it seems that everything I have heard has been a pretty narrow band of uniformity in belief about their unique ideas on what they think is the three destinies of man.

This doctrine in my thinking reinforces the hierarchy model that I believe was introduced by Satan as one of the false alternatives to the government of God. In their doctrines they apparently believe that “holy” people are going to be the future rulers over “righteous” people and that the wicked are going to live in eternal torment of some kind. They also insist on consciousness after death and don't seem at all willing to study the Bible for themselves as individuals with an open mind. I have not sensed any desire on the part of a single person to discuss things from the Bible with a view to learning anything. I do sense that everyone is afraid to believe or even consider anything that has not come through approved channels of authority. It is likely that all “truth” in these communities must be pre-screened and pre-packaged before anyone is allowed to embrace it. And as a consequence anything outside of those parameters will be viewed with great suspicion at best. I got the impression that to try to discover truth directly from a study of the Bible is almost, if not directly, considered rebellion against the authority of Christ that they believe is invested in the body of believers and centered in their exclusive leadership.

On the flip side I have to say that I believe they have tapped into much deeper reservoirs or at least expressions of joy and peace and communal consciousness than most other churches are able to do. Because they are embracing the natural principles by which we were designed to live together in harmony they are enjoying the results of group-enhanced joy capacity and accelerated maturity the way we are supposed to grow. Unfortunately I think the leadership possibly believes that this can only be preserved by imposing strict control and maybe even a little intimidation to keep this balance in place. Personally I believe that God is going to someday demonstrate that He can accomplish these kinds of resulte much more powerfully and effectively by directly possessing the hearts and influencing the minds of people who will come together in similar communities empowered by the passion of His Spirit. It will look somewhat similar to what I am seeing here but without the element of fear used as the adhesive to hold it all together.

Overall I believe that there is much to be learned from this experiment in community but there are subtle dangers to be detected and avoided as well. While mixing in some fear and a lot of control may wash out anyone not willing to be controlled or to allow others to take over their conscience, I believe it will be seen that God's ways are even far more superior than what is seen here. I do believe that most of these people are very sincere and are loving God and their fellow believers much more than average Christians and I commend them for that. But at the same time I feel that they are also cultivating a spirit of exclusivity and some bigotry not unlike the other denominations that they look down on. I believe that the use of fear always compromises and dilutes greatly the real effectiveness of truth, and if God's ways were more completely embraced we would see results exponentially greater than anything yet seen today.

I personally believe that when that time comes many of these people may likely be among those who move on to embrace the truth as it is in Jesus, or Yeshua as they like to call Him, and join with others coming from other various directions to make up the final display of God's true glory. I don't think any of us knows yet what that looks like or has the various aspects of truth in proper perspective to see how it all fits together. The pieces of total truth as it is in Jesus is still fragmented and different parts of it can be seen to be effective in different ways in many different groups and places. But just because some get better results than others in various ways does not mean they are right in all areas of their beliefs.

I have a real reaction when any group of people lay exclusive claim to being God's chosen people on earth. I don't care whether it be Catholics, Mormons, Muslims, Adventists or the 12 Tribes communities, to claim to be the human organizational depository into which anyone who wishes to be saved must join is to place their idea of God into a very small box indeed. I do not believe that God is so arbitrary or so bound by human religious constructs that He is willing to limit the coordination of His activities or saving power through only one select artificially designated group of people wearing a certain label or performing to certain regulations. God's plan of salvation is much broader and more heart-based than anything we can perceive from the outside and we must not fall into the trap of creating Him in our narrow image. It is man that looks on the outward appearances but God looks on the heart where no man can ever look.

These communities evidently teach that obedience is a prerequisite for grace. That is at least what I heard in one of their testimonies and I would certainly welcome correction on this if I am wrong. But this thinking does seem to be reflected in their general attitude and demeanor. While I realize that obedience is far more important than nearly all Christians generally believe, it is also a real problem that most people's notion of what is really meant by that word is not in true alignment with God's view. The kind of obedience that is prerequisite to entering the process of being salvaged (salvation) is the obedience of responding to the attempts of the Holy Spirit to reveal to our hearts the incredible attractiveness of God in His real beauty. When we surrender to the allure of God from our hearts, that very response is the act of “obedience” that enables God to lead us step by step on the journey to be fully embraced by and synchronized with His own heart. It is God who works in you to will and to do of His good pleasure.

That brings me to one of the strong points of the 12 Tribes communities. They apparently have chosen to use the method of attraction as the primary way in which to grow their communities instead of the preaching kind of “evangelism” typically engaged in by some other churches. They use music, drama and most of all their radiant faces and beautiful children as living examples of what others could enjoy. This is truly God's method of evangelism as far as I am concerned and I wish that my own church would learn this lesson. But that is very unlikely to happen until after the mighty shaking time that will destroy the whole structure assembled by men and God reassembles the pieces the way He desires. Only then will God's methods be seen in their amazing effectiveness that will shock and surprise the whole world and bring on the final closure of this world's history.

I believe that one of the crucial elements needed to move ahead in perceiving and embracing God's plans is to maintain a very open, teachable mind and heart and not become dogmatic and narrow in our thinking. Too often we mistake dogmatism for orthodoxy and believe that once we “have the truth” that we no longer have anything to learn in that area. Whenever we adopt that kind of attitude we have immediately plunged ourselves into the thro's of rigid thinking and make our own opinions our gods. To make that even worse is to then think it is our job to impose our opinions and enforce them on those who look to us for guidance. This is to interfere with the personal guidance system that God desires to have in the heart of every individual to guide all of us into the true unity of the Spirit.

I want to enjoy the fellowship and love that these people share and far more. But I do not think it wise or even right to purchase it at the high cost of throwing away the much greater insights about God and the teachings of the Bible that I have been learning from Him over the past few years. To enter into the mindset that I perceive as prevalent in these communities would be to take a huge step backward into some of the misconceptions that promote legalism from which I have been slowly becoming freed for many years. For me personally that would be moving in the wrong direction while for many others coming from other backgrounds, joining these communities might be a dramatic step in the right direction. It may be all a matter of perspective and relative position.

I believe that I can learn a great deal from observing and learning firsthand the experiences of the heart that these groups have become skilled in doing together. I have no doubt about that and I hope they do not turn against me in fear or anger if they find out my feelings about this. If they do it would be an indication that my reservations about them would be sadly confirmed. I hope they are more mature than that and that we can continue to be friends and enjoy bonds of true love and respect. I would like to bring my wife and friends to visit one of these places and to continue to learn and grow from our relationship with them.

Communal Life Up Close

I am currently enjoying the hospitality of one of the communities of the religion known as The 12 Tribes. I took advantage of the relative close proximity of one of these communities to where I am working on my sisters house in Virginia. This is part of the very close network of communities that grew out of the original community started in Chattanooga Tennessee back in the seventies. I wrote about our experience with them at that time a little over a year ago after I re-discovered them on the internet. Ever since then I have been wanting to visit one of these communities to see firsthand what they are like. Of course I still desire to visit the one that has returned to their roots in Chattanooga, but all of the communities are very similar and I am getting a good glimpse of how life in the community operates in the few hours I have spent here so far. Of course much of what I think is very subjective and relevant to my own experiences in years of living around self-supporting institutions myself. But I also think I am old enough and have enough experience recognizing human nature and tendencies to also perceive some things even apart from those experiences.

With my exposure to many different ministries and the insights learned especially from James Wilder about how we are designed to live in community, I have been keen to actually experience first-hand an environment that may actually utilize some of the principles I have been learning. I am also interested even more in experiencing and observing a group of people that I feel is motivated and relating to each other in the way the early Christian church functioned.

I am aware that many churches and organizations claim to be following that model but as we all know claims are usually not much more than that. They may use that example as a goal toward which they strive to work toward, but invariably it becomes evident sooner or later that either they settle for a nebulous approximation of that original demonstration or alternative means of motivation are employed at some point to achieve the desired symptoms of unity and Christian joy.

We arrived (my nephew and I) yesterday afternoon in time to get a look around the property before it got dark and enjoyed petting some brand new baby goats and visiting the large greenhouse they have set up.

A few women were in the spacious kitchen preparing food for the planned weekly evening Shabbot celebration but generally there were not too many people around. Most of the men work in the construction trade and spend their days working on jobs in communities nearby or in Washington D.C. where they say the commercial construction market is really booming. This community produces enough excess income to help support other communities that are still struggling to become self-supporting including the recent one restarted in Chattanooga.

As I chatted with one of the leaders last night about the various communities I learned that all of their restaurants are modeled on the original layout and design of the first Yellow Deli that we used to visit back in the seventies. The new one about to open in downtown Chattanooga right beside the University of Tennessee apparently looks very much like the original one that was located not far away back in the old days. The rest of them located around the country attached to other communities are all modeled on that same plan. I found this very intriguing.

I observed that the dress and demeanor of these people are very familiar from my days in self-supporting work but reflective more of the very conservative wings of those groups. There is a lot of striking similarity in the style of hair and clothing in all of the people here somewhat reminiscent in some respects of the Amish or Mennonite communities throughout the country. The men generally have somewhat long hair pulled back into a very short ponytail and the women wear their hair much longer with head-coverings, especially during the religious services. Also during the evening celebration most of the men wear a narrow band around their head that are all the same.

Of course these are merely external observations that may or may not mean a whole lot about the internal social structure of this society or the internal motivations of the individuals. That is an arena that I am very aware is up for more perception and very open to interpretation depending on what you choose to believe about these people. There is a very broad spectrum of ways you could view how these communities function based on one's bias and prejudices or willingness and open-mindedness for real discernment. These groups are quite familiar with the diabolical results of outside society fearful of what may be going on within these communities and sometimes trying to crash in and tear apart by force or slander the fellowship and the unique and different lifestyle that these people have chosen to enjoy. This has resulted in tragic horror stories, some of which I am familiar with and some which happened early in their development when we knew them originally back in Chattanooga.

But my real question is more along the lines of wanting to discern for myself how successful they are in reproducing genuine community in spirit. I am interested to learn how much the apparent external “success” comes from free, Spirit-led transformation that creates spontaneously the outward and inward close-knit society described in Acts or how much may be tainted subtly with the employment of close supervision, controlled and imposed thinking and carefully restricted access to outside ideas. I am very familiar with those kinds of controls and spiritual manipulation in attempts to produce spiritual uniformity and I am also all too familiar with the unintended consequences of those practices.

But at the same time I want to be painfully careful to be open-minded and not allow any of my own potential prejudices to taint my opinions. I want to maintain a close connection to the Spirit of God myself to guide me in understanding and perceiving what I am observing, not only in the externals which may not be that hard to produce sometimes, but much more importantly in the real motivations and internal transformation that produces those externals. To complicate this objective I also realize that each individual here is going to be somewhat different and there are always going to be variables due to faulty human nature and people ready to exploit or try to control others subtly but quite effectively.

At this point I am going to leave most of these questions open and I certainly do not want to rush to judgment. I am personally aware of the damage and pain that can be caused by people wanting to label others and put them into a box and not giving them a chance to present their own side of an issue or situation. I have been on the receiving end of that at times and I am sure I have also unfortunately been on the delivering end as well. But what I am really wanting to see for myself here is the answers to the questions from the heart side of me even more than the curiosity questions posed by my left-brain. I want to examine the fruit as Jesus invites us to do.

As I have been launched into my own journey more intensely over the past few years into learning to live from my heart and find much more balance in my own personal experience, my heart has become more and more hungry to observe and participate in the things that really nourish and feed the spirit and that causes one to really thrive. But at the same time, especially given my own personal history with other group's attempts to address that need unsuccessfully, I have some very sharp warning areas or a sense of intense alertness to subtle signs of certain elements that tend to poison the pure, sweet environment that I believe was experienced in the early New Testament believers. This is not to say that if any of these elements are present that the whole experiment is false or is to be condemned. But I am very sensitive because I know first-hand as well as second hand through the lives of friends how much inner damage can be caused to the heart while the externals continue to look very positive, religious and even very happy. I guess part of what I am saying is that happiness and conformity are not the only signs of successful unity in community.

Anyway, I have obviously gotten way off track here in capturing my observations of my experience so far. I plan to be here for another full day or more so I have a great deal more to learn. In addition I know that much of the real “politics” or dynamics of the relationships within this organization would be much more plainly seen if I were to spend a week or two working alongside of them on the jobs they do and observing their interactions when under a lot more stress or in conflict situations. That is when the real spirit and motivation of a group becomes much more clear but is often kept carefully concealed from outsiders. But that is really the core issues that interest my heart much more than anything else. How do they relate to dissent, to individuals who may be learning “truth” differently than the leadership approves of, who insist on listening to the Spirit personally and following their conscience while still desiring to have fellowship with other believers? That is the kind of things that tell me what the real spirit is within a group of people far more than outward success in cohesiveness.

At the same time the externals do reflect to a great degree what may be going on internally and much can be learned from those observations too. So I would like to finish relating my experience last night before I get side-tracked again too much.

By seven o'clock more and more people had arrived to enjoy their traditional Friday night celebration service to welcome in the Sabbath rest. I found this joyful and largely musical experience to be immensely refreshing to my spirit. Though I did not know any of the songs because it is quite evident that they have built up over the years their own repertoire of music reflective of their unique beliefs about eschatology and God, the spirit and communal nature of the music and Hebrew-style dancing was, like I said very refreshing. I guess I continue to use that word because my own heart cannot find any other accurate description describing its emotion.

It was clear that there was a certain routine or order in which they flow through their celebration time, but it was very full of a certain amount of spontaneity and genuine expressions of gratitude and devotion to “our Father”. There was a time of freedom for anyone to stand up and express some thought, belief commonly held by the community or recently learned teaching that they had applied to their life. At the beginning of this celebration everyone was served a saucer with a couple slices of tomato and homemade crackers along with some maté tea from one of their communities in Brazil. A little later everyone sat down at tables together and enjoyed their evening meal while interacting intentionally as community. Then the tables were cleared and again everyone gathered in the community room to participate fully in a couple more hours of rich, folk-style live music produced by excellent musicians while men, women and children joined in as they desired to dance around in circles in what was obviously well-learned traditions of Hebrew dancing.

I was very impressed as I watched the faces and interactions of the many people there how much quiet but careful attention was given to the significance of all the children. The children were quite unlike what Americans would term typical because they were growing up in a much more tightly-knit and caring community. To me they were refreshingly peaceful, calm and happy. They often enthusiastically joined in with the dancing with eagerness and were always accommodated by the adults who helped them move around safely and smoothly in the fast-moving circles. I was even amused to later watch one of the babies during a quiet time when many were sitting on the floor just enjoying the musicians. She was just at the point of learning to walk and was still very unstable on her feet. But it looked rather clear to me that she was trying to dance. The thought struck me that the children in this environment may learn to dance even before they learn to walk. I think that is really cool.

Near the end of the celebration time close to ten o'clock we were all served some kind of pie that was absolutely delicious. I think it was a type of Carob flavor but have never enjoyed one that had this light, delicate taste. I know my wife is going to want the recipe. After the final songs sung standing together and with great enthusiasm, the group slowly began to disperse to their various homes or rooms while some stayed around to fellowship a little more. I ended up staying up till midnight dialogging with a few men and trying to learn more about how they think and believe. Then we retired to our room and ended up talking for another hour before I could stay awake no longer.

This morning I understand we will have a time of testimonies, music and praise before eating maybe a light breakfast. Later others will again arrive to enjoy lunch together but generally they preserve the Sabbath day for people to relax, sleep or take walks. Then in the evening they will again have a large communal celebration and they said at that time all of the ones “in covenant” will break bread together. I am looking forward to spending a Sabbath in an environment unlike any I have been in for all of my life. I am learning a great deal and will take time to reflect on it again afterwards.

God, fill me with Your Spirit of peace, rest, joy and freedom today. Open my eyes, unlock my heart and unprejudice my mind to not only be discerning but to be refreshed and be open to thriving. Thank-you for what You are doing here and teach me Your ways. Show me the genuine methods You have that will produce the results of unity completely naturally and from the heart by the transformation and bonding of Your Spirit in hearts open to Your love.

The Great Identity Heist

I am planning to go visit one of the 12 Tribe communities tomorrow for the weekend. I am looking forward very much to this visit as I have been wanting to do this for over a year now, ever since I re-discovered them. I wrote about this last year I believe just before the Bat Barakah for my daughters.

At that time we received a very nice letter of blessing from one of the midwives from the beginnings of this organization that helped deliver our daughter at home back in 1979.

This morning I got to thinking a little more about some of the things I have been learning about judgment and identity and perceptions of reality. It began to become more clear in my mind how much we all have a real problem with identity, at least I know I do. As I think back on situations where I felt threatened, ashamed or humiliated I realize that it almost always had to do with accepting someone else's imposed ideas or accusations about my identity.

As I thought more about this problem I suddenly realized that I have been vandalized all of my life. What I am really dealing with without realizing it is identity theft. This is not just a nice cliché to use for a religious idea, this is reality! False gods and demonic spirits have been very busy all of my life stealing my identity and trying to replace it with false identity and imposed insinuations about who I am. Most of the time I have bought into these ideas at least to some extent.

I began thinking and wondering why it has been so hard for me to believe, at the heart level, the things that God says about me. It has always seemed that my identity had to agree with the pattern of behavior that could be traced in my life. It is just one of those general assumptions that everyone buys into that the way we act and talk and think reveals our true identity and to believe anything else is to challenge reality. We even say that to think otherwise is to be hypocritical. But at the same time the things I hear that God says about me seem to be way different than the identity defined by my general behavior and the thoughts and reactions that often slip into my mind. So where am I to find the real truth about my identity that my heart can latch onto and really believe if it is not this?

It is one thing to throw around nice-sounding platitudes about God's ideas and views of us, but we all know that the influence of what others think about us and how we view ourselves generally far outweighs any religious expositions on what God might think of us. We generally don't want to admit this in religious circles but it become quite clear when it is the basis for how we respond to surprise situations or intense emotions. My perception of who I really am determines the reactions I will have when under pressure, and so far that has not been real good all the time.

But after hearing a very different perspective on what was really going on during the last couple days of Jesus' life and how the disciples could have responded if they had realized who they really were as declared by Jesus at the last supper, I am realizing that I too face the same kind of confusion about what is really going on and who I really am on a rather frequent basis. The facts may be quite evident to all viewing them, but how to view and interpret those facts can be polar opposites depending on who you believe yourself to be.

The more I thought about this the more I realized that God is dealing with the very same issue Himself. Lucifer/Satan has been trying to steal God's true identity for thousands of years and has done quite well at convincing the vast majority of people. In billions of minds he has stripped God of all of His valuable assets of character and replaced them with his own evil traits. Many of the things we believe about God and are even very certain can be proved from the Bible are in actuality carefully crafted lies that are part of the great identity heist pulled of by the enemy of our souls.

What I really want to learn is to be more constant in my consciousness of the real identity and value of who I am designed to be all the time. I want to be able to see not only others through God's eyes but myself as well. Satan is always eager to point to my constant failings and the many negative habits of thinking that keep me locked into dysfunctional relationships and insist that these define who I really am and not what God claims. When I repeat these assertions and continue to view myself through rehearsing my faults and bemoaning my weaknesses, I am helping the enemy to steal my identity by handing over the most valuable things I possess. The security situation in my soul appears to be in pretty dismal shape by the looks of things.

So how do I really go about changing this state of affairs? I want to know and to experience a dramatic shift in my thinking, in my perception of who I am and I want to really believe from the deepest levels of my heart the truth about me as God sees me. I guess that is very hard for me to do naturally because I can still hear the voices of my past from parents and family and friends insisting on focusing on my faults and not becoming proud spiritually. But they too were caught in the same false paradigms of religion and it is now time for me to challenge all of these self-defeating attitudes and expose them for what they are and move into greater freedom.

I am hoping maybe I will be able to make a few steps in that direction this weekend. I know I am going to encounter some opportunities and situations that will challenge my comfort zone about my identity. What I really want to do is be more clear in my thinking and feelings about how God sees me instead of always falling back on the way I have always responded in the past to similar situations. If I can just remember more often who I really am as defined by God I will begin to unlock many functions that have never even come into use in my life up to this point. Up to now I think that maybe I have been my own worst enemy, the one who more effectively sabotages my own freedom more than anyone else.

Of course it would be very nice if I had other people in my life who were listening to God well enough to be able to see me through His eyes and encourage me to lay claim to what He wants me to perceive about myself in place of the misconceptions I still cling to. How does one go about dealing with identity theft anyway? I guess I have never really thought about this very much.

God, please show me much more clearly who I really am from Your standpoint. I don't want just religious phrases and cliché's that mean little to my heart, I want to sense distinct and clear revelations of the real man, the DNA that You imprinted into my heart and that has yet to come out into the open. I want to know the unique style that You created me to reflect You with. Thank-you for creating me that way – now just help me to see it and live it abundantly for Your glory.