Relearning Identity

A realization hit me last night. I guess it sounds sort of obvious when it is stated, but sometimes things feel like a new revelation when a left-brain fact suddenly sinks into the right brain. It is about the principle that you reap what you sow.

When I think and speak critically I create an atmosphere that encourages others to think critically of me. When I feel negatively toward the church and pastor they will tend to feel the same way toward me. That does not lead to unified efforts or reconciliation.

If I want a church to accept changes in their ways of thinking and embrace new ideas and attitudes, then I have to demonstrate those changes in myself by adopting a positive attitude and relating to all of them with grace and forgiveness and compassion no matter how they act or treat me. My spirit in my interactions with those who disagree with me plants the seed that will lead to creating the atmosphere that eventually I will reap. This is so hard to perceive with my spirit. Sure, its easy to outline it intellectually, but when it comes to actual practice I usually default to the natural tendencies of the flesh.

Craig Hill teaches that the most crucial time to plant new seeds is right after a failure. The ideas about yourself that you internalize at that moment are the seeds that are planted to be reaped in the future. For instance, if I berate myself for being so stupid, such an idiot, brainless etc. right after I make a mistake, my soul hears those messages and they become implanted to quickly sprout and bear like fruit the next time I find myself in a similar situation. I will more strongly perceive my identity as a stupid idiot who can't ever do anything right and somehow subconsciously I will more accurately live up to those expectations which will further reinforce those beliefs about myself, seemingly affirming my analysis. This is a most familiar scenario for most of us.

However, the same principle of sowing and reaping works just as effectively if used to plant good seed from the Spirit of God. When we choose to believe in an identity revealed to us about the heart Jesus has implanted in us and speak forth that identity in the face of what appears to be the opposite based on our recent behavior, we plant seeds that also can sprout and take root in our soul and began to crowd out the negative plants so predominant in our lives.

This at first feels like hypocrisy or positive thinking therapy. But it is not hypocrisy. And although positive thinking techniques draw heavily on these basic principles they often don't go far enough to tap into the real power Source of God's revelation of our true identity that we need for transformation. But when we choose, particularly right after a failure where we have once again disappointed ourselves and fallen for some temptation or indulged in some weakness, when we choose at that very moment to take our attention away from the failure and defeat and fix our attention firmly on the qualities of our true heart that God designed within us, we will breath life into those attributes and allow them to begin to flourish and thrive and come into fruition.

How much am I doing this? Very little so far. But it looks like a dynamite way to blow apart much of my old patterns of self-defeating behaviors and habits of failure. Of course it would be nice to have people around me reminding me of who I am in these moments as well. It would be just as wonderful if I would use the eyes of heaven to see the true identity and hearts of those around me and remind them of who they really are and their true value when they can't see themselves that way too. That's what real community is all about – reminding one another of who we really are when we forget to act like ourselves and our people.