Thoughts on Blessing

My wife and I had a discussion with Linda a few days ago about birthdays and how to relate to them. She had written a piece on her blog about it and I expressed some of my misgivings about the traditions and expectations that surround the event.

I have often wondered why we make such a big deal out of birthdays anyway. I'm not saying we should or shouldn't, I just wonder why, what the underlying motives are. It even seems more logical that we should celebrate the day of conception more than the birthday. After all, birth is simple a transition from one environment to another. Conception is when one actually comes into existence. It seems that is far more eventfully important than simple a change of position. Of course, times of conception are not only usually difficult to trace back to but are also surrounded with circumstances that almost no one wants to talk about especially in public. So maybe that is one reason it is more convenient to focus on the day of birth.

Birthdays are also usually much more prominent in the mind of women than they are for men. I suspect that is partly so because mothers are so intimately and painfully involved in the process that culminates nine months of very close companionship. It tends to make a much deeper impression and memory for them than it does for most men. That may be why mothers have little trouble remembering birthdays.

We have been learning that there are at least seven very significant times in a persons life when they need to receive a blessing. A lot of time needs to be spent elaborating and explaining what that word even means. One of the best resources I know right now is Family Foundations (found in my resource page). In short, blessing means empowerment to prosper and an impartation of identity. This identity is the unique one God created for this person and reinforced by important people in their lives. Cursing, the opposite of blessing, is of course the exact opposite. It is imparting a negative identity, messages of worthlessness and shame that discourage, dishearten and disempower one for life.

When this is understood it is clear what God's desire is for every one of us. Jesus stated unequivocally, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy (curse). I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly (bless). (John 10:10) Our role as parents, friends and even siblings is to reaffirm and remind each other of the identity that God wants to draw out of us that will reveal His glory. This is how we bless each other. And this is also how we can bless God.

The first time of blessing in life is at conception. When two people come together in harmony with the Spirit of God in themselves and celebrate the intimacy that God designed for them to share in marriage and conceive a child in the image of both God and themselves, the new life is infused with a blessing that will make a radical difference for the rest of life.

The second important time of blessing is at birth. It is at this time that the child joins not only his parents in person but all the community of family and friends. Everyone celebrates the visible addition to the joyful community that makes up families. Each person brings their unique perspective of blessing to the child and to the parents empowering the family to thrive and strengthening them for the struggles ahead. Again, identity is imparted in a powerful way to the child and an unseen energy and strength is imparted into the soul of that individual.

To understand just a little of the effect of blessing, just consider the Jews as a culture. They have been practicing blessing in their families for thousands of years. It is no accident that on the whole Jewish people are generally more prosperous and influential than any other group of people in history. It is because they have followed the ancient principles that God built into human design and they are enjoying the benefits. But blessing is not restricted to Jews anymore than being a fully alive human is restricted to Jews.

In my ponderings about birthdays I have wondered if a person might be better served if they used this day to bless others in various ways. Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive. I guess I haven't come to any hard conclusions or profound insights on this idea. But the traditions of expecting gifts, cake and parties and the total obsession of wanting all the attention certainly has produced a lot of selfishness on the part of many children that is similar to the self-obsession surrounding Christmas. That is a whole other topic that I certainly don't want to get started on right now.

So I sat down this morning and opened the devotional book and was startled to read the scripture for today. “The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him, The spirit of wisdom and understanding, The spirit of counsel and strength, The spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.” (Isaiah 11:2) It reminded me strongly of the specific blessing given to me both times that I attended an Ancient Paths I seminar. “And the spirit of the Lord will come on you with power, and you will be acting like a prophet with them, and will be changed into another man. And when these signs come to you, see that you take the chance which is offered you; for God is with you.” (1 Samuel 10:6-7 BBE) The Lord impressed me both times that this was His word, His blessing that in some way reveals something about my true identity and my future. When I first glanced at the text in the devotional I had to look again because it was so similar to the second. And what added to the significance was that this is my birthday.

It was like the Lord wanted to give me an affirmation and a reminder of who I really am to counteract the constant assault of lies from the enemy and from the world around me. As I have read further in the book Wild At Heart this struggle is becoming much more exposed. I am receiving many very important insights from this book and recommend it to anyone who wants to perceive more clearly what is really going on within and around us.

So what will my birthday be like today? How will I relate to it? I don't know yet – ask me at the end of the day and I will know better. I think I will choose today to listen carefully for words of blessing from Jesus. I would hope to hear affirmations and positive identity messages from those who can see me from a different perspective than mine – which of course is anyone outside my skin. But I doubt I will go fishing for them. I hope they are more than just words of “happy birthday”, that they are specific reminders of attachments and value and connections. I hope that God will use me as a channel today to impart blessing and life in specific ways and times to others who are dying for lack of blessing. Because I am realizing more and more that when I am a conduit of blessing I myself am blessed and strengthened myself. Today my wish and deep desire is to experience joy (being glad to be together with people who really love me) in community in very tangible ways. Somehow I think that is what we all want. And that is God's desire as well.