Why Am I Writing?

I have been becoming more aware lately of a growing reason why I continue to write down what I am discovering and learning. I have probably said this before but it has come up in discussions with people close to me lately and I have been thinking about it more.

It could be assumed by many that I post these thoughts in order to convince others of what I believe. However, that is not the case, that is not my motive. When that thought comes to me I tell God that if He wants the Holy Spirit to lead someone to this site to teach them something Himself that I will be very glad to be used in that way, though most likely I will not know anything about it anyway. I certainly enjoy learning more about truth and warming my heart in the presence of God in association with others, but so far this forum has not contributed much to that end. So that is not a reason why I write what I have been learning.

The main reason that I have become so “addicted” to immersing myself in intense scrutiny of the Word of God and writing down my thoughts during the process is the powerful influence that it is having on my own heart as I do it. I very seldom have any idea what is going to emerge when I begin to write except for the few thoughts at the beginning that I want to capture before I forget them. I have found repeatedly and have come to appreciate that what I am discovering is that the process of writing itself has become a very effective form of communion with God for me personally. It usually happens that as I feel compelled to write down what first comes to my mind as an inspiration to me and I follow that compulsion that I immediately receive follow-up thoughts and connections to other texts or truths as I am writing that would not likely have come if I were not engaged in the writing activity.

So I have come to see that, for me writing is becoming a channel of listening just as much as reading. Maybe it is “active listening”. I suppose that is why many people get much more out of sermons if they take notes while listening to it. Engaging the body in participating in what the mind is doing is a means of synchronizing and sinking the things being learned deeper into the soul. Unfortunately, many of the best talks that I want to take notes on are listened to while I am driving so I can't take notes and I often feel quite frustrated about it. I feel that if I could get the main points down in writing and be able to look at them and organize them into outline form I could remember them more securely and have them more available for future retrieval from my memory.

The main point I guess I am trying to address here is maybe to counteract a voice inside me trying to accuse me of coming across as being arrogant by writing when that is not what my motives are at all. I try to deliberately avoid allowing what others think of my writing to influence it as much as possible because I want to maintain it almost exclusively for personal interaction with God as I settle in to listen to Him each day. I have come to look forward eagerly to these times together with His Spirit and many times find it hard to pull myself away to go on to do other things. But He usually gives me a sense of closure at some point and I ask for His sense of peace and timing as to know what He wants for my day.

These times are what I like to think of as “marinating” in the presence of Love and soaking up something new and fresh each day from the limitless resource of His Word. They have become the most important and enjoyable part of my day. I feel listened to and connected and challenged, rebuked, instructed and assured as I ask questions, make stimulating discoveries and have my emotions awakened to new feelings of awe, delight, conviction and deepening love. During these times I begin to feel a peace that seems to quietly collect as silently as the dew as I linger a little longer in His presence to taste His sweetness.

As I write I sometimes stop and ask Him what direction my thoughts need to go before writing more because I do not want to write just to be sounding off. I want to keep my writing in its useful place as simply a means of listening and interaction with the mind and heart of God. Sometimes I have to just lay it aside and let my heart process what it is experiencing alone for a few minutes, or sometimes even for a few days before I come back to the writing again. But always it has been serving a useful function as an instrument of growth in my own heart and is bonding me to my God and Savior.

Why did I feel like writing about writing this morning? I am not sure, except that I have been thinking about it more lately as I previously mentioned. I also would like to encourage anyone who might be reading this to consider something similar if they feel moved to try it. I know how resistant I used to be when people urged others to journal during their devotion time. They expressed many of the same thoughts and benefits that I have just described which certainly sounded attractive to me. But it seemed to be a discipline that was too much work or carried with it a negative “obligation” burden that I just wasn't ready to take on right then. I suppose that came from being raised in a religion that was nearly 100% obligations and little to no joy. With that mindset, taking on another obligation would feel like the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

So how do I finish this now? Well, I would like to strongly urge everyone to read today's reading from My Utmost for His Highest. I have a link to a web site that offers access to its readings in my Recommended Reading link at the top of my blog if you do not own this book. Today's reading really spoke to my heart about receiving peace and some of the issues surrounding that in our relationship with God. I believe you will be blessed by it.

I have some friends with me this weekend and we plan to take out our boat today and enjoy some skiing and fun on the water for the first time this summer. I look forward even more to the time and bonding that takes place together with them more than the activities themselves, though I certainly intend to enjoy that as well. The only reason I have ever had for owning a boat is for this very reason. I want it to simply be an instrument for making deeper connections with hearts of people willing to join us in doing fun things together. If you would like to be one of those people I would love to know about it. I certainly could use more close connections with other people in my life and I enjoy making good memories. Have a blessed day.