Real Motives at Calvary

I believe the reason we misunderstand the events around the cross and almost completely misinterpret the words and actions of Jesus through those events is because we start with the assumption that He was struggling against great fear as we would do naturally or was working very hard to resist retaliation. We view these things through the strong bias of what we would feel in those circumstances and filter everything through our lenses of fear. We therefore inject into the Bible our own issues and thoroughly mix them into the text as assumptions that go unchallenged. By so doing we almost completely miss seeing the true passion, even excitement, that radiates from Jesus' last hours as He arrives at the time for which all the plans of heaven have focused. This focal point of history and eternity is an overwhelming revelation of God's passionate, unquenchable love – a fire that absorbs every attempt by man or demons to extinguish it and only burns more intensely.

This is NOT the story of a God/man struggling to bring Himself to love us enough to force Himself to endure enough pain to appease an offended God on our behalf. Yes, His humanity was intensely tempted to engage in fear of enduring what was impossible for a human to endure. But we have completely missed what His divinity was thinking and feeling and what the Father was doing all through those events of trial, torture and mocking. Circumstances had been carefully arranged and guided by Sovereign God for the worst of human sinfulness and demonic cruelty to all coalesce at this point of time SO THAT He could have the greatest opportunity of demonstrating the real truth about how He really feels about all of His creatures, the children He created to be His intimate companions. The deepest darkness is all the more useful to highlight the real light by contrast.

Jesus was not demonstrating supernatural willpower and restraint to overwhelming urges for retaliation. He was fighting His divinity's overwhelming urges to love these monsters using His own divine nature instead of remaining completely passive to allow the Father to demonstrate His own passion through Jesus. Since joy is always and only with another, to use His own natural divine power instead of depending on God's power would have been to short-circuit joy.

Name-dropping Love

Yesterday we thought we were losing Dad. We sent him to the hospital after something like a seizure took him out of commission. Ever since he came back we feel uneasy and he is less responsive.

My Utmost for today talks about prayer as the greater works that Jesus referred to. It makes me think of another analogy. A man finds a woman who he is attracted to and who is rather famous. She shows great interest in him and they want to got married. The strange thing is, instead of spending quiet, lingering romantic hours together falling deeper in love, he only calls her occasionally to quiz her on information about facts from her life or ask for favors. He then uses this information to impress others that he has an inside track to her life. He visits talk shows and tends to brag about his connections to this famous lady. He name drops at strategic times to use her influence to get him into circles he could not otherwise enter. He uses her reputation and popularity to his own advantage in business deals and feels very proud of his ability to maneuver circumstances for his favor. He feels himself very blessed because of his connection with her and looks forward to a long and lucrative relationship.

However, he is so busy taking advantage of his good fortune that he only has very little time to actually spend with her. Oh, he knows it is very important and he is very careful to carve out well planned visits. However even during the visits he does most of the talking. Most of the little listening he does do is to compile answers to his queries about her history, her connections and her extensive estate. He can't wait till they get married so he will have much more access to her secret files and be able to help manipulate – rather, manage – her vast resources. He is very proud to be publicly viewed in her good graces and is very concerned that no one mars his reputation as her chosen fiance´. (see Matt. 7:23)

Hallmark Love

10-15-05

We have almost finished a week without TV except for a little 3ABN mostly for Dad. I feel a sense of relief, not that the week is over but that my heart-hearing is starting to awaken a little. I sense that huge events may be about to break on the world and I need to have a much closer connection to God to be ready. I was beginning to realize that TV, especially Hallmark fare, was not just a distraction and interference to my ability to stay connected with God, but sometimes it even brought in Satanic influence that would attach itself in my imagination and tie up my mind for days so I could not hear God's thoughts and feelings and messages.

I believe God sent us to this semi-isolated place to give us opportunity to hear His voice more clearly and have time to mature in grace. But in Dad's case isolation was used to cultivate and simmer in a critical spirit until it poisoned not only him but the whole local church and his family as well. I too am battling the same issue. It is becoming more apparent to me that I share his weakness in that area. In fact, the better my picture of God becomes the more disgusting becomes the bigotry and tradition I see all around me. That is good. But how I then react to this revelation of narrow-mindedness and lies about God can either grow me or destroy the effectiveness of the very truths that revealed the problems.

If I understand all mysteries, have all knowledge and can explain all prophecies but have not love I am empty and pointless. (1 Cor. 13) The sword of the Spirit is only as sharp as the love it has and displays. I desperately need that. I want love as my primary motivation, not the Hallmark version but the Heavenly version. I want and crave a full conversion of heart as well as a more perfect and accurate picture of God. The two are inter-related I know, but I want not only my head understanding but my heart to be healed or replaced with a new one, whichever it takes. God be merciful to me a sinner!

Cleaning God's House

Jesus had to be about His Father's business and in His Father's house. What is the business of God anyway? Cleansing the house so His Father can live in it. How does He clean house? By removing the pain and condemnation and then filling it with peace and joy. How can we follow Jesus' example of cleaning? Jesus was willing, through unconditional forgiveness and love, to accept all the pain, attacks and abuse and not rejecting it in self-defense or protection. People lash out because they have been lashed themselves and they are attempting to unload their pain. If we don't accept it we force them to keep it and it intensifies. But if we share in the sufferings of Christ we work with Him in cleaning His house so His Father can live in it. We become channels transferring other peoples pain and suffering through us and give it instantly to Jesus thereby demonstrating to them how to give their pain directly to Jesus and become channels of grace themselves.

When I cling to my rights and resist suffering from others, I block the healing grace of God flowing through me in exchange for their pain, shame or abuse. Being a channel has to work both directions.

Every human will in the end be found clinging tenaciously. It is in our nature even though we may be too proud to recognize it. We either will believe in the goodness of God and cling relentlessly to forgiveness and God's acceptance of us as an unshakable fact of redemption, or we will cling to the lies and our doubts about God and try to figure out a formula to save ourself. Or, we may give up trying to save ourself because we are too intimidated by a god whom we can never please or appease enough and we decide to cling to our sins and milk all the pleasure we can out of them.

Bike Handlebars

Releasing my “rights” to myself to God feels like taking my hands off the handlebars of my bike and allowing Him to steer from behind me. I can only reach the handlebars close to the yoke which makes it impossible for me to steer. If I grab the bar by the handles God will respect my choice and allow me to mess things up. But when I let go of my rights and trust Him, He will guide me and hold the handlebars far back where there is much more leverage. I feel very out of control – which I am. Therefore I have to know Him well enough to be able to trust Him to keep me balanced and keep me from falling off as well as guide me in the right directions through all the harrowing turns and threatening obstacles.