Compulsive Interference

Sometimes I feel like this blog idea is taking on a life of its own, and what it does to me is not always desirable. I started out many months ago doing this as an experiment in self-disclosure and it certainly assisted in doing that, maybe too well, I don't know. But it seems since then to have morphed into something different somehow and now it tries to assert undue influence over my thinking processes at times. I sometimes find it interfering in my personal times with God, trying to formulate how I will write down what I am experiencing. The trouble is, the very act of writing things down sometimes dampens the fire that is just starting to flicker in my heart as it struggles to hear and see more clearly the face of God. The right brain/heart part of me becomes confused by all the language processes of the left brain and quietly slips back into hiding if my left brain doesn't shut up and back off soon enough.

Both devotional readings today addressed this very thing and now I am here formulating a post about it – how ironic. But that is because of the other aspect of this “journaling” experiment which has provided a lot of benefit and growth for me. Many people have found that journaling during their quiet times with God has greatly enhanced the depth of their experience and accelerated their spiritual growth. I believe that has largely been the case with me as well, though I may be doing it much more publicly than most. What bothers me is this subtle nuisance pestering of my left brain eager to translate what my heart is experiencing into language terms before the experience has even taken form or is fully entered into yet. I have written about this before and it is still pestering me to the point that sometimes I deliberately stop writing for awhile to create time and space for my heart to grow more easily.

Along this same line I have noticed recently much to my chagrin that I have very often been writing things that I soon regret writing, usually in the comments section either on other's blogs or even in my responses to comments on my own. I have been thinking about this and trying to understand why I have such a tendency toward foot-in-mouth syndrome in this area. It seems that at least part of my problem is a sense of pressure – time pressure, sometimes due to my fears of what people will think about me if I don't respond quickly. But when I come under the influence of this pressure and try to write something profound on the spur of the moment I almost always end up writing something very regrettable instead. It is becoming more apparent to me that wisdom is not something to be hurried or forced, it is something to be accepted, respected and treated with great humility, something of which I am in far too short of supply many times.

So I should like to take this opportunity to apologize for my insensitive or coarse remarks written in the passion (and pride) of the moment that have caused some to wince when they read them. I am not being moved here on a self-inflicted guilt trip for this as would have been the case a few years ago. I am simply becoming more aware, though still just a very little bit I am afraid, of the possible enormity of my insensitivity toward others that many on the outside might be quite willing to communicate to me if I were of a mind to listen and receive.

As far as balancing the pros and cons of writing or journaling, I have sometimes felt the need to write out my feelings very explicitly to get them more exposed so they can't hide so easily in my mind but then take that document and lay it aside out of the public view. I know this sounds like just common sense and I'm sure it is, but though I need to be maybe more selective about what I “publish” I still need the assistive benefits of this form of expression (writing) to give more definite shape to what my mind and heart is grappling with at times.

I will share quotes and my comments from the two devotionals that I just read for anyone interested.

Our power is not in our talents of education or means, neither is it in our popularity; it is in self-sacrifice, our willing obedience to Jesus Christ. Those who truly surrender all to Him, will carry a weight of influence, and will carry others along with them, because they walk in the light. Brain power will be inefficient, purse power of little account with God; but heart power, thorough godliness, humble fidelity, will bear a weight of influence that will be irresistible. {SD 236}

I found this statement to confirm much of what I have been learning over the past few years. This is a powerful affirmation of the importance of living from the heart. It even states that when I learn to live from my heart in harmony with my Creator instead of just from my “mind” that my influence will be irresistible. That is stunning to me.

Likewise, the reading from My Utmost for His Highest today reinforced this lesson I am trying to learn at the heart level. Here it is.

Yet lackest thou one thing; sell all that thou hast. . . and come, follow Me. Luke 18:22.

“And when he heard this. . .” Have you ever heard the Master say a hard word? If you have not, I question whether you have heard Him say anything. Jesus Christ says a great deal that we listen to, but do not hear; when we do hear, His words are amazingly hard.

Jesus did not seem in the least solicitous that this man should do what He told him, He made no attempt to keep him with Him. He simply said—‘Sell all you have, and come, follow Me.’ Our Lord never pleaded, He never cajoled, He never entrapped; He simply spoke the sternest words mortal ears ever listened to, and then left it alone.

Have I ever heard Jesus say a hard word? Has He said something personally to me to which I have deliberately listened? Not something I can expound or say this and that about, but something I have heard Him say to me? This man did understand what Jesus said, he heard it and he sized up what it meant, and it broke his heart. He did not go away defiant; he went away sorrowful, thoroughly discouraged. He had come to Jesus full of the fire of earnest desire, and the word of Jesus simply froze him; instead of producing an enthusiastic devotion, it produced a heart-breaking discouragement. And Jesus did not go after him, He let him go. Our Lord knows perfectly that when once His word is heard, it will bear fruit sooner or later. The terrible thing is that some of us prevent it bearing fruit in actual life. I wonder what we will say when we do make up our minds to be devoted to Him on that particular point? One thing is certain, He will never cast anything up at us. (Chambers, Oswald: My Utmost for His Highest August 17)

One thing that impressed me in this is the extreme sensitivity of Jesus in regards to our freedom to choose. While He certainly may allow great pressure to build up in our lives to align ourselves with reality and God, He is very careful not to force our will in the slightest, contrary to what many of us may believe. God puts a great deal of value on freedom being the basis of our love for Him.

This statement also gave expression to the growing sense of frustration I am having with myself about my growing impulsiveness for expounding even when my heart is not ready for it. I have much to learn about guarding my heart times in the presence of God from the noisy interference of my intellect-oriented left brain eager to “expound or say this and that”. I want to deliberately focus on listening with my heart to the hard word that only Jesus can share safely with my heart. Parallel to this, I also want to be careful not to preempt Jesus in His work of delivering a hard word to someone around me by trying to unduly assist Him in that work. Only the Holy Spirit knows how to deliver a conviction with the least cause for resistance or defensiveness in a perfect atmosphere of love. I need to let Him do His job and learn how to simply cooperate in the ways He wants me to relate to others.

Sometimes I find myself running out of inspiration and then discovering that I am just filling in words hoping that they will turn out to sound right, which of course they won't in the end. (I just did that in the last paragraph) What I apparently need to learn is to stop immediately when I sense this is happening (I did) and simply wait for my heart to finish what it needs to do or contemplate before my left brain overrides the “better part of wisdom” (as my folks used to say). I think that this counsel, if consistently followed, would keep me out of a lot of regrets and embarrassment, not to mention possibly allowing my heart more breathing room to feel safe to thrive and engage more actively. (Be patient with me while I have these open discussions with myself.)

Slave Options - Romans 6 & 7

Romans 6 and 7 are targeting somewhat separately the original two groups of people addressed in the first two chapters. Romans 6 is primarily addressed to the chapter 1 group and Romans 7 is addressed primarily to the chapter 2 group. That is not to say that they don't apply to everyone, but the characteristics and differences between the two groups are focused on in Paul's counsels as he goes back and forth between them explaining what they need to understand to live a holy life in Christ. At times he makes it clear that they are both really in the same boat but they are coming from different angles.

During his words to group 1 in Romans 6:13-23 he alludes to an underlying principle of our brains, that of bonding. The human brain is wired to bond, to have strong attachments to other minds and to take on some of the characteristics and personality of those minds. It begins at conception and becomes very intense from about 6 months to 7 years of age. This period of time is the major part of determining who we become and how we relate to others for the rest of our life.

There are two kinds of bonds – fear bonds and love bonds. As you might suspect, these two types of bonds originate from the two opposing kingdoms in the world, the kingdom of darkness headed by the archdeceiver and the kingdom of light spearheaded by Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of the world. Since we are all born into a world saturated with sin and are raised by sinners, we are all infected with the problem of fear-bonding and the deceptions and problems that accompany this. Some who have had the privilege of growing up in a more loving home protected from much of the intensity of the world's influence have the advantage of having their hearts trained from an early age to experience and value more love-bonds than others who have not had that advantage. But all of us to some degree or another must be saved, be salvaged and restored to the original intent and design of our Creator.

In these verses Paul is basically explaining to us the need we have and the opportunity that God has provided for us to choose which kingdom we will participate in for eternity. This is done by “presenting” ourselves to become slaves of one kingdom or the other. At first this seems like a very unhappy choice and our minds naturally insist that there must be a third alternative. We do not want to believe that slavery is our only option and the only choice we have is to choose our master. But that is in fact the condition we are in and it is inescapable. Adam and Eve got us into this problem and there is no way we can live independent without a master. Our only freedom is the choice we will make as to who will be in charge of our life and become our mentor.

One of the core ingredients of sin and the kingdom of darkness is fear. It is pervasive and comes in many colors and forms, but it is foundational to Satan's operations. It is woven deeply into all of the institutions and motivations of earthly systems of government and society and becomes more and more obvious and intense as societies or countries sink deeper into sin and abuse. Fear is the common denominator that is relied on to squeeze all its slaves into the molds that are shaped for us by the world.

In Romans 6 and 7 Paul is describing the two main categories of molds that are used in the world. Both are based on fear and selfishness, but they have very different external trappings. In Romans 1 and 6 Paul describes the mold and the fruit of choosing a life apart from God in slavery to self-indulgence and lawlessness. He makes an interesting statement in verse 20. “When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.”

This is simply a statement of fact that when we have sin as our master we are not bonded in the kingdom of light. The kingdom of God uses love-bonds as its motivation and common denominator, not fear. Perfect love casts out all fear, so when we live under the motivation of fear we have not been perfected by love, we are still living in slavery to the principles of darkness and death. Paul ends this section in chapter 6 by plainly stating that the fruit derived from living life in slavery to sin, selfishness and fear is death.

This is in stark contrast to the kingdom of God where we receive gifts instead of wages. The kingdom of light operates in love-bonds, not fear-bonds, and the fruit is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. There is a very important truth that is too often overlooked here. We often assume that heaven is a place where we can escape the problems and pain of this earth and can enjoy life uninhibited and always be happy. While that may be partially true, we miss the fact that we will always be slaves if we want to live for eternity. Notice that the eternal life gifted to us by God is in Jesus and it is clearly spelled out that He is Lord. Lord is another name for master – as in slave-master. If we are not willing to accept this arrangement then it will be impossible to receive the free gift of eternal life because the two things are inseparable according to Paul.

The wonderful good news about this truth is that Jesus uses love-bonds to bind to Himself all who choose to become His slaves. The reason we have such misgivings about choosing slavery under a master is because of the use of fear-bonds and the accompanying abuse that we normally associate with the idea of slavery as exemplified in such earthly relationships. We are so unfamiliar with the heavenly type of slavery that we become very confused and understandably have strong reservations about signing up to become a slave.

But the reality of life is that we are already slaves and through the Redemption brought about by Jesus' death we have been provided the option of choosing slavery to love in place of slavery to fear. This is the essence of the gospel and as yet has not been understood or explained very well. I believe that it is part of the glory that will fill the whole earth described in the symbol of the angel in Revelation 18.

Romans 7 shifts from describing the slavery of open sinners who have abandoned life with God to focusing on the other category of sinners, pseudo-saints trying to use fear-bonds to simulate and coerce a counterfeit of the kingdom of God. The results of this attempt to create self-righteousness to impress others and God are described later in the chapter. And I will leave that for another day.

(next in series)

Class-Action Suit

Jesus won a class-action lawsuit against Satan and sin. The verdict in that suit was that all sinners were justified and were to be set free. The problem now is that most of the sinners never heard of the case and its outcome in a way that made sense to them. Many of them have heard all kinds of perverted versions of the story that did not make the issues clear to them and consequently did not arouse hope in their hearts. So they go on living in slavery to sin even though their emancipation has already been proclaimed.

Their slavemaster is not about to let them know they are supposed to be living in freedom from his control. And most religious people have such confused notions about freedom that they too are still living in slavery, just in a different camp. Satan has many prison camps designed for different styles of life but all still firmly under his control. Romans 1 and 2 describes the two main classes of prisoner/sinners that make up Satan's camps, the first are open, flagrant-type sinners and the second are religious zealots who believe they can manipulate God into saving them. But both classes are imprisoned by their delusions about what God is really like and how He feels about them.

God has to get people to see that no matter which camp we find ourself in we are all still stuck in the lies of Satan and are unnecessarily living under his abusive dictatorship in spite of what we think. When we become aware of the reality of our abject slavery and the truth that we have already been set free, when we accept the fact that we already have access to the key to our own prison cell and can walk out in freedom at any time, then we can exercise our power of choice – the hand that operates the key. By faith we can insert the key of the redemption purchased by the blood of Jesus into the locks of our minds and walk out into the freedom that we are designed to thrive in. We can enter into intimate fellowship with Christ and all the saints which is, in essence, the joy of our Lord.

(next in series)

The Jesus Mirror

Jesus came to earth and became a human mirror. Humans do not have any inherent light within them and so any light coming from them has to be reflected light received from another source. Inherently Jesus is a light, which gave Him unfair advantage over us in living the human life. But to become the example of how we can be saved, Jesus came in the likeness of sinful (empty, mirror-like) flesh to show us how we can experience life and light as a mirror. He laid aside His advantage of being original light itself but did not destroy that part of Him. He lived out His life on earth as only a reflection of the Father's light to show us how we are to live as a reflection of the light received from God.

This body of reflection that Jesus lived in as a man is the body that was destroyed on the cross. When He was resurrected He received a new, glorious body that no longer had to live under the restrictions of a mirror. He could then freely act as a source of life, not just a reflector of life. (see Romans 6:4-11)

The same is true in our experience in various aspects but not totally. When we are born again we receive into ourselves the birth of Jesus into our heart. So long as He dwells inside of us we, in a way, can be a source of life. But at the same time we are still only reflectors of light because we have to focus ourselves on Him to have any light at all. We must follow His example of living by reflecting the light of His Father so that His life was full of that reflected light.

But the Jesus that is incarnated within us is not the pre-resurrection Jesus that only lived as a reflector but is the resurrected Jesus with unlimited power to save. The first body of Jesus is an example of how we are to live in relationship to the second body of Jesus dwelling in our heart. Maybe it is like we are a step behind Him.

At the Second Coming we too shall lose our earthly body with many of its restrictions and will receive a body like the new body of Jesus. We will then have much greater capacity for light, both receiving and giving. But even then we will never be an independent source of light apart from connection with God. Instead, God will make us an integrated part of the body of His Son – the body of Christ. In that relationship we will be as close to being like God as is possible. We will be the bodily means by which God displays Himself, His light and glory, to all the stunned and marveling universe for the rest of eternity.

We arrive at that amazing end by starting where we are now as mirrors choosing to habitually turn our attention to the original Source of light and becoming channels of that light to others. We surrender our independence and self-dependence and keep our mind stayed on Him. The result is living in perfect peace. (Isa. 26:3) This becomes the witness that attracts others who crave that peace in their own hearts to follow our example and turn their focus on Jesus who is their more perfect example of how to live as a human mirror. The more consistently we all keep our mirror focused on Jesus and the Father instead of on each other, the more perfectly His character is reproduced and reflected in our lives.

Unpacking Suffering

I am completing what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body. Col. 1:24

Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. 1 Peter 2:21

I recently felt an urge to unpack what is really behind this word suffering after a recent discussion with my sister about this. It is one of those words with very negative emotions attached to it that I naturally have avoided. Maybe my maturity level is approaching the place where I can examine it with a more open mind and heart.

When I was young I grew up with the assumption about suffering that it was sort of something that would get you into better favor with God. Having people make fun of you for being religious was somehow something to be proud of and would maybe make you more holy. I remember a discussion I had with a stranger when I was very young who asked me what our church believed. I did not have a very clear idea of the doctrines and I was frightened by his question but at the same time felt obligated to “witness” to him. I mentioned one or two doctrines that I could remember and told him that we believed that a person should suffer for Jesus. To this day I do not know why I said that or what I was thinking but I still remember the incident and the heavy sense of duty that I felt at the time associated with my response. I wonder how much of that is still lurking within me yet today?

As with many things that have gotten turned on their head after close examination of the Word, this idea of suffering needs serious revision in my thinking. These are some questions that I need to explore:

What was involved in the sufferings of Christ?

How was it different from most of our sufferings?

Here are a few thoughts that come to my mind.

He agonized with God over His disciples as well as all the people He sought to minister to. That surely created some kind of stress, pain or suffering within Him in some way.

He never suffered anything for His own mistakes or sins. That is very different from much of our suffering.

He brought about healing by taking onto Himself our sufferings. Maybe this is getting much closer to describing the “example” that He set for us to follow. This is one of the processes that we can often use to help each other heal; we enter into another's emotions with them so that we then can show them how to return to joy. To do this effectively we need to develop and increase our own capacity as well as tap into God's capacity to partially take upon ourself the suffering, the problems, the hangups, the 6 big negative emotions that people get stuck in, and in the Spirit and power of God we come alongside them in their feelings to show them how to rise up, to help them return to the surface from their drowning emotions. We become an example for them to imitate by entering into other's suffering with open hearts just like Jesus did, not for our own sins but for the sins of those we are sent to help rescue. We become co-laborers with Christ in His sufferings which is the very process of implementing into our lives the reality of Redemption.

“Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin.” (1 Peter 4:1 NIV) Sin in its essence is a state of being desynchronized from God the Source of life. When we learn to suffer the same way Jesus did we become synchronized with the mind of God which puts us into an attitude like Jesus.

There is much more to explore about this but I will visit it at a later time. Your thoughts?