Heavenly Commerce

“Our petitions to God should not proceed from hearts that are filled with selfish aspirations. God exhorts us to choose those gifts that will redound to His glory... He throws open before us the possibilities and advantages of a heavenly commerce. He gives encouragement to our loftiest aims, security to our choicest treasure.... “They might enter into the palaces of heaven, and associate on terms of freedom and equality with Christ and heavenly angels, and with the princes of God....” (SD 188) I think I caught just a little glimpse for a second of what this “heavenly commerce” really means. Because of my nearly total immersion in the context of worldly-oriented commerce it is extremely difficult to even comprehend how the heavenly commerce operates, especially in motive and incentives. But just a glimpse of the true commerce unleashes a whole raft of insights that have been waiting to take their proper place in relation to each other. The commerce of heaven can only operate effectively and efficiently in the atmosphere of heaven which is absolute, rarified selflessness and love for others. This is not just a nice option that we need to have as an asset to live in heaven, it is an absolute and fundamental prerequisite for survival in the presence of love so pure and passionate that it becomes destructive if experienced with any internal resistance of selfishness left in place. In the above statements I see references to these principles. When our prayers and relationship to God are based on selfish aspirations, we may seem very noble and religious in each others eyes but in heavens view we are still functioning with the wrong fuel that will only explode destructively inside of us when exposed to the fire of heaven. Maybe that is a better analogy than even resistance for what happens in hell. Flammable fuel is created within us from the fermenting process of sin in our heart. That is how we store up wrath for ourselves against the day of Judgment, by allowing the fermentation of sin to create flammable material inside of us. We may think we have it safely hidden or under control, but when our lives are exposed to the white heat of God's unveiled, selfless passionate love the volatile materials still residing in our hearts explode into literal flames of torture that burns painfully until it is all consumed and we are consumed with it. It appears in the above statements that the alternative to the motives of selfish aspirations is to live for the purpose of producing honor and glory for God. Even the gifts offered to us by God have different options that may lead us down different paths. It is implied here that we can choose to accept gifts from God that would seem to benefit ourselves more than would “redound to His glory”. Why would God offer us such gifts? Because He has to start where we are to establish enough of a relationship and trust in Him so that we can be led eventually to mature out of our selfishness and closer to learning the ways of operating in heaven's atmosphere. But we can accelerate that maturing and purifying process by not choosing the gifts for our selfish aspirations but choosing the gifts that will display before others the kindness and attractiveness of God. “He throws open before us the possibilities and advantages of a heavenly commerce. He gives encouragement to our loftiest aims, security to our choicest treasure....” Again, to relate to this correctly and understand its true implications, I must check my motives behind how I interpret what constitutes my loftiest aims and what really is my choice to treasure. These words can be used both in selfish terminology or in heaven's selfless commerce. Implied in these words is that any apparent possibilities and advantages of earthly commerce – that based on selfishness – is very short-lived and self-destructive in the end, whereas operating and living in the realm of heavenly commerce opens up possibilities and advantages of living forever in harmony with all unfallen creation under the principles of eternity. Further elaborated are hints of what these possibilities and advantages constitute. “They might enter into the palaces of heaven, and associate on terms of freedom and equality with Christ and heavenly angels, and with the princes of God....” The principles or motives that must be in place in our hearts are described as freedom and equality as well as unselfishness. The stunning possibilities of living in this atmosphere is to be treated in commerce as an equal, not only with angels and princes of God, but with Christ Himself who is God. The economy of heaven amazingly accomplishes the very thing that Lucifer claimed that he wanted for himself – equality with God. But by trying to employ the motive of selfishness to acquire that end he missed the very thing that he was designed to enjoy. Selfishness so permeates every aspect of our thinking that it is impossible for us to be free of it without massive divine intervention and radical death to self. It filters everything we read or hear about God and heaven or spiritual things and puts a twist, a spin on how we interpret what God is trying to communicate to us. Selfishness is the core of sin and is the most dangerous element in the universe. It is the bacteria in the fermentation process that turns the pure juice of love created by God to be the fuel of choice for our lives into the wine of Babylon that contains not only mind-altering and numbing properties but also fatal volatility when exposed to the fire of God's unprotected presence. This idea of fermentation and the bacteria underlying the fermentation process was illustrated in the Old Testament sanctuary system. This is why God was so urgent that the people preparing to experience His presence in the Day of Atonement purge their lives and their surroundings of all traces of leaven. Selfishness and pride are the main elements that constitute the bacteria that works on all the gifts and blessings we receive from God, turning them into decaying, death-producing, mind-altering drugs that we choose over the energizing, life-giving pure diet required to exist in the presence of God. If any amount of bacteria is left in our system when we tank up with pure fuel, like pure juice exposed to a tiny amount of impure bacteria it will quickly become contaminated, infected and transformed into a bubbling mass of wine that threatens to infect others with its impurity. This all takes place in our spirit being, in our heart. When we think that our head-based religion is all we need to satisfy the requirements of God and earn us a place in heaven, we are actually allowing the bacteria of selfishness to remain in our heart where it continues to thrive and feed on all the good things we are receiving daily from God. Our heart is the real source of our problem and also the place where God needs to accomplish the most radical transformation. We need His white-heat passion of selfless love to sterilize and pasteurize completely our hearts from all selfishness to prepare us to safely interact with others who are likewise made safe in the commerce of heaven. If we resist the pasteurization process and don't allow Him to keep us in the heat long enough to eradicate all the dangerous bacteria in our minds and hearts, we become a liability that makes us a fatal danger to ourselves, the family of God and all of the universe. This, like I said at the beginning, is just a tiny glimpse of what constitutes the atmosphere of heaven in which the commerce of heaven operates. It is frightening and overwhelming to my mind because I begin to see a little bit of how so unqualified and unfit I am right now to live in that atmosphere. It is like a fish who spent his whole life living at the bottom of the lake believing he could climb up on land anytime he wanted and function as a mammal breathing air out of water. He does not understand that he must be born again and take on a whole new way of thinking and living like a tadpole has to become a frog before leaving the water. If the tadpole tries to leave the water before his transformation it would be fatal for him. Likewise, if we believe we are ready to go home with Jesus while entertaining selfish aspirations and motives for wanting that very thing we are asking for something that would, in fact, expose us to the horrors of hell instead of the thrills of heaven. Because hell is simply the drying up of the waters and exposing everyone to the atmosphere of heaven without the proper preparation of receiving the internal equipment necessary to thrive in that atmosphere.

The commerce of heaven is so extremely delicate and sensitive that it is easily obscured by the bluntness of force, the blindness of bitterness or rage, or the numbness of self-pity. It can easily be lost site of in the midst of our seemingly most spectacular moments of spiritual triumph. It thrives on the fuel of humility and is lubricated by the oil of grace. But sugar in the gas tank can feed the bacteria and ruin the works designed to live in harmony with purity and integrity. Elijah got derailed while traveling at high speed on the right track and had to be taken back to his roots to remind him of what was really important in the economy of heaven. He approached Mt. Carmel in the spirit of humility and total dependence on God listening to the quiet inner voice of the Spirit and accelerating higher and higher into the atmosphere of heaven. But he got momentarily distracted by the blazing results of spectacular glory that is inherent in the atmosphere of heaven and became slightly infected with the bacteria of externalism which opened the door for fear to sneak in. He then reacted by running in terror from a threat that before would have not affected him in the slightest. But he ran in the right direction for he ran into the arms of God and received grace and comfort and assurance. After he calmed down enough God took him through the training program once again to remind him of one of the most crucial rules of heaven's commercial system – giving preference to the still small voice over any other modes of communication claiming to represent the voice of God. The apparent fragility required to live successfully in the economy of heaven is confusing because of our addiction to force. But to succeed in heaven requires our complete disavowal of all means of force and becoming familiar with the use of the sensitive ways of love and gentleness. We must get past the lies of religion that paint God with pictures of power, might and control, and realize that His real power lies in His abilities to work everything out for good through non-forceful means, that gentleness makes greatness, that humility is nobility, that surrendering control is to come into victory, that by dying we can enter into real living. I want to learn the ways of gentleness, to become sensitive to hearing more clearly the small voice inside prompting me to know which way to go without the interference of my own preferred emotions or clamorings for pleasure. I want to experience the metamorphosis required to become ready to live and thrive in the rarified, even dangerous atmosphere of heaven. I want to be cleansed of all hidden bacteria that keeps reinfecting and poisoning the good things that God gives me with selfishness. I want a total work of grace and conversion in my life so that God's reputation can be honored and glorified.

Serious Allegations

I have been reading the last verses of Romans 2 over again each day for about a week now and trying to sink deeper into the real meaning and flush out a clearer perspective. Each time I read it I ask God to show me what is really here and how it applies to me and to my relationships. I have found that when I do this that over time pictures and connections begin to emerge at first slowly but then, if I am patient, they begin to accelerate and after awhile they almost become like a flood of insights that almost overwhelm me. I say this, not to brag but to simply record and capture my own thoughts and experience and what I personally believe are to me precious gems of truth and light entrusted to me from a higher Source of wisdom. This morning as I again started reading around verse 22 I once again opened my mind to seek for questions that will help me think outside all of my previous assumptions; questions that, in fact, will challenge those assumptions and expose them to revealing light. As I read I became aware of a tension inside of me that has always been there when I read these verses but up to this point have ignored it as is often the case. It is the inner conflict that I feel when I am forced to accept someone else's interpretation or spin on something that just doesn't quite fit well, or not at all, but is accepted because that is what I have been trained to do – reflect someone else's thoughts instead of thinking for myself and seeking God and His truth personally and directly. This sense of “uncomfortableness” emerged in the form of the irritation I feel or resonate with that must have been in the minds of his readers if they were in fact the way he describes them to be in the previous passages since the beginning of the book, particularly in 2:17-21. These people considered themselves quite spiritual, close to God and careful, thoughtful, conscientious followers of God. They were also Christian Jews who had been converted to believing in Jesus Christ, not arrogant, close-minded, unbelieving Jews opposed to the gospel. In fact, if most of us could be truly honest about ourselves, his descriptions of these people would very closely parallel our own description if Paul were to address us today. Of course, since we don't like his conclusions and revelations about these people our minds quickly begin to squirm and try to distance ourselves from these descriptions to avoid being associated with his warnings and counsels to them. But I want to honestly know my true condition so I can be able to see myself as God sees me. It is only by conviction and accepting the real truth about myself from the the Holy Spirit that I can start to identify, take responsibility for, and begin to become free from the hang-ups described so clearly in these verses. So if these people who were apparently comfortable with their level of spirituality and felt, at least to some degree, that their religious beliefs and practices must have qualified them in some way to receive the favor of God as described in these verses, then I can't imagine them not internally squirming a great deal at the allegations that Paul makes about what is actually their true condition in God's eyes that they cannot see. It seems to me that they, along with myself and I assume many others who read this, would object, possible strenuously, against Paul's assertions that they steal, commit adultery, rob temples and generally break the law. I do not see many of us readily accepting that kind of assessment about ourselves easily. Those kind of charges feel very much like false allegations that have gone too far and are exaggerated in the imagination of the writer of this book, maybe just to make a point. That is the feeling that emerged this morning as I read over these verses. And the question that was raised by my emotions was “Paul, where are you getting this stuff? I know you are led by God and all, but why do you claim that we do all of these horrible sins when, in fact, we are very careful to guard our words and actions to be just the opposite of what you describe?” These are people – Christians remember – that Paul has just described as proudly bearing the name “Jew”, relying upon the Law and boasting in God. While at first from our perspective, with possible subtle feelings of unconscious antisemitism lying under the surface, we impose our own judgments on the people described here, it is easy to fail to fully identity with their condition as possibly being our own. But we have to take responsibility based on what God is revealing about us here and realize how very easy it is for any “religious” person to slip into the trap of depending on religion for their identity instead of looking constantly to God and depending totally outside of themselves for true perspective and value. The descriptions that Paul has made about these people fits so uncomfortably well that we try to slip out from under it and apply it more to someone else. These are people who take satisfaction and a certain amount of “humble” pride in the name that they claim in association with God's chosen and special people. In those days it was not necessarily a shame to bear the name Jew, at least in the spiritual world. Paul makes it clear repeatedly that Jews have great advantages and have been wonderfully privileged by God with deep insights and extensive spiritual blessings. Identifying oneself as a Jew was not a shame but was the same as claiming today to be a good Christian. The terms and labels have changed over the centuries but the underlying issues remain the same. When Paul says they relied upon the Law, he was not necessarily saying they were depending totally on self-righteous attempts to be perfect by law-keeping as the unconverted Jews were trying to do. Remember, he is addressing Christian Jews here and is flushing out the residual but subtle dependence they feel on their advantages that unconsciously still make up some part of their reasoning for which they believe God will save them. Every one of us grapples with this problem much more than we consciously realize and that is exactly what Paul is flushing out in this passage. To some degree or other, in some form or another, we all have a very strong tendency ,though usually very camouflaged to ourself, to depend on something internally or externally to recommend ourself to God and in some subtle way earn His grace and salvation. There is an unavoidable urge in the mind of every human being to “do” something to help God save us. And the more religious we are and the more educated we become in our knowledge of religion the greater danger we are in of being deceived by this most pernicious but hidden fault that neutralizes the grace of God in Christ Jesus in our lives. It is so subtle that we simply cannot see it within ourselves and honestly believe we are in right relationship with God. We really can be just like these people and very often are if we are just willing to admit the real truth. These are people known as those who know God's will, they approve the things that are essential and are being instructed out of the Law, or the Bible. They are confident in their abilities to guide others who don't understand the Bible and believe they can shed the light of truth to those who are in darkness. They believe in correcting error, they teach and train the less mature and believe that the embodiment of truth and knowledge can be found in the Bible. (v. 18-20) Does this sound like a description of someone we should be wary of or a description of someone we look up to for spiritual guidance and authority? If we are honest here we have to admit that every one of these attributes are things that we strenuously promote in our seminaries and look for in our leaders. They are not identified by Paul as bad things or necessarily even liabilities, but they are descriptive of the very people who Paul claims have hidden problems of stealing, adultery, robbery and law-breaking even though they are Christians. Those are shocking charges and cannot be taken lightly or believed easily. Paul had better have some some really good evidence or proof of such charges and allegations or he is putting himself out on a very shaky limb. I will explore further the basis that Paul uses to make these strong statements later. But in the meantime I want God's Spirit to open my own heart to examine it's true condition and expose to my mind the things secretly hiding there that I am oblivious to myself. The good news is that God never convicts to condemn but to restore me into a much closer intimacy with Him and fellowship with all of His children in a spirit of harmony, peace and love. That is what I want my life to look like. Your thoughts? (next in series)

Never Look for Justice

Well it's happened again. The reading in My Utmost today continues to prick me with reminders of my need to sharply focus my attention on God instead of looking out for my own interests or trying to defend myself. It also reminds me of a number of things I have been collecting lately to post about self-justification or self-defending that I have not yet condensed enough to finish.

In a side note, I would like to pass along a resource that I found last night on the web if any of you are interested in utilizing it. As you can probably tell by now I am a great fan of My Utmost for His Highest and have been interested for some time in purchasing more material by him. I came across a web site that not only provides each day's readings on its cover page so anyone can read it, but also has links for purchasing all of his other materials. The version of My Utmost that they use for this purpose is the “updated edition” which is worded differently than the older one I prefer. But many people prefer the newer addition and say that it is much easier for them to understand. At any rate, I ended up ordering a volume that has all of the things he ever wrote plus a CD containing all of his materials as well.

This is the part of today's reading that brought conviction to me and really got my attention.

The Sermon on the Mount indicates that when we are on Jesus Christ's errands, there is no time to stand up for ourselves. Jesus says, in effect, Do not be bothered with whether you are being justly dealt with or not. To look for justice is a sign of deflection from devotion to Him. Never look for justice in this world, but never cease to give it. If we look for justice, we will begin to grouse and to indulge in the discontent of self-pity – Why should I be treated like this? If we are devoted to Jesus Christ we have nothing to do with what we meet, whether it is just or unjust. Jesus says – Go steadily on with what I have told you to do and I will guard your life. If you try to guard it yourself, you remove yourself from My deliverance. The most devout among us become atheistic in this connection; we do not believe God, we enthrone common sense and tack the name of God on to it. We do lean to our own understanding, instead of trusting God with all our hearts. (MUHH 6/27)

I have been reminded many times over the last couple of weeks to be very careful about getting focused on defending myself instead of trusting in truth to vindicate itself and letting God be my defense. I have been learning a great deal about this and wonder if that is not one reason why I have not finished my writing about self-defensiveness – because I had a lot more to learn before I put out my thoughts on it. I will say that I am learning some of the benefits of letting God be my focus instead of indulging in self-pity and resentment. But I have to also be honest and say it is extremely tough to keep that kind of thinking when feeling very misunderstood and alone and under suspicion by many of those who I want to love me.

I have sensed throughout this experience that the more I try to justify myself and indulge in pointing out the errors of those who are against me and the problems with their arguments, the less credible my own words become and the more doubt I end up casting upon my own integrity. As I have repeatedly noticed, my temptation is always to imbibe of the spirit of those who have misread me and are creating suspicions about me. This is always the case because of our natural response to act like mirrors toward other people. We always see our own faults most intensely in others and are in danger of using them to avoid facing them within ourselves.

While I have been learning that in principle over the past few years, putting it into practice in the tough arena of the down and dirty real world is a much harder lesson. I cannot say that I have always taken the higher road in this matter consistently. There have been times when I feel that I crossed the line and began to indulge in accusing my accusers. But the Holy Spirit has been faithful to convict me and I want to stay in right relationship to God more than anything else. I know in my heart that this is really a golden opportunity for growth and maturing in my life if I am willing to endure the pain and depend on God.

I must also acknowledge that I have been blessed with a number of people in my life who have come forward over time and supported me by believing in my heart as well as challenging me to to experience more healing. They have helped give me perspective when tunnel-vision threatened to distort my view of reality and they remind me of what they see in me when I forget or cannot see clearly through the fog of emotions and the pressure of temptations from the spirit realm. I deeply appreciate these people and value them as genuine friends in my life, and I hope to become more of that kind of person myself through this experience.

I also want to keep very high in my priority the love that I still have for those who have misunderstood me and still cling to their dark suspicions about me. I deeply care for them and want them to experience the peace and healing that is the real desire of their hearts. They mistakenly believe that they can find satisfaction through creating doubt and suspicions about me in the minds of others. But that road is always a false trail that leads only to more pain and emptiness for those who choose it. But I want to keep the trail clear of any obstacles that I am tempted to create that would hinder their return journey to joy in reconnecting with those who really love them.

But most of all I want to become totally devoted to Jesus Christ much more than to finding justice. I have to repeatedly choose each day to remember and practice the things that God is showing me and teaching my heart. I have been receiving coordinated messages from Him every day through different avenues that are synchronized around the same themes and I want to assimilate them as quickly as my heart can grasp their value and integrate them internally. I sometimes feel very confused, but I trust the One who is coordinating everything behind the scenes and is faithful to finish the work that He started. I choose not to indulge in guarding myself and thereby removing myself from His deliverance. God has been pretty clear in some of these things to me but I easily forget sometimes when I am distracted and have to be reminded either internally by my conscience or through others who remind me to continue trusting and believing in God's faithful love for me no matter what circumstances look or feel like.

I do not want to “enthrone common sense and tack the name of God on to it.” I choose to avoid leaning on my own understanding and I want to learn to trust God with all of my heart. His heart can always be trusted and His promises, not only to me but to anyone desiring to lean on them, contain the power of self-fulfillment inherent in them from the infallible Source of Life and genuine satisfaction.

Thank-you Jesus for this experience that is causing me to grow in grace and in knowing You more intimately. Use these circumstances in my life to bring honor to Your name no matter what happens to me. Cause me to walk in Your ways and use this experience to attract many others to Your beauty, Your trustworthiness and Your goodness. I love You and worship You as my own God, my personal Saviour and submit to You as my Lord. Teach me Your ways and Your wisdom and flood my heart with Your spirit, Your kindness and compassion and Your humility for Your name's sake.

Grace in Humiliation

Today's reading in My Utmost is bringing more instruction and focus to my heart during this situation. It emphasizes the need for me to draw on the grace of God in the present at all times and under all circumstances. This is how I become a true witness of the ability of God to save me as He says He will.

We make prayer the preparation for work, it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the exercise of drawing on the grace of God. Don't say – I will endure this until I can get away and pray. Pray now; draw on the grace of God in the moment of need. Prayer is the most practical thing, it is not the reflex action of devotion....

...Manifest a drawing upon the grace of God that will make you a marvel to yourself and to others. Draw now, not presently. The one word in the spiritual vocabulary is Now. Let circumstances bring you where they will, keep drawing on the grace of God in every conceivable condition you may be in. One of the greatest proofs that you are drawing on the grace of God is that you can be humiliated without manifesting the slightest trace of anything but His grace. (MUHH 6/26)

I want this to be a description of my life and be demonstrated through me. Obviously I need to draw heavily on grace from God to do this. It is very painful to be humiliated by those you love the most without manifesting the slightest trace of anything but His grace. But we are not promised freedom from pain but grace in our pain – grace that causes us to transcend the pain into a greater glory, not escape the pain by necessarily eliminating its causes. This is a dimension of Christianity that is not popular but much more authentic and compelling when seen by those around. It is not even something we can take pride in but, like Chambers said above, makes even ourselves marvel at what God can accomplish inside of us.

I choose to continue to fill my mind with truth and grace to counteract the ill effects of all the negative thoughts and emotions the enemy has been pressing in on me. I choose to seek God to surround me with an atmosphere that will neutralize the flaming arrows of the enemy seeking to destroy my connection with God and my family. I choose to trust God with the lives and hearts of all of those damaged in this situation and for Him to demonstrate His marvelous and uncanny ability to work everything together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

Why Jews First Revisted

Questions to look at.

Why the Jews first and then the Greek, especially in light of God not having partiality?

Who today are these Gentiles that do not have the law but do instinctively the things of the Law and show the work of the Law written in their hearts? Are they converted Christian Gentiles or are they as yet “unconverted” people externally but internally are responding and submitting to promptings of God's Spirit? We usually assume in our theology that the promises of a new heart and the law written into our hearts laid out in the Old Testament apply now to converted Christians who accept Jesus as their Saviour. But this text seems to go beyond that narrow view.

I believe the reason the Jews are first in line for both the benefits and the liabilities (1:16 and 2:9) is not because God arbitrarily determines it that way but because inherently due to their knowledge and spiritual context they are already closer to “the fire”. Since it is the same fire, always found in the presence of God, that will either cause them to glow and shine with glory or that will create heat, misery, pain and ultimately death from their resistance to it, then anyone who is already in closer proximity to it to start with will experience the natural consequences of exposure to it, either good or bad, before those who are farther away from it.

If this observation is true, then in today's environment this would more likely apply to anyone who has been exposed to more truth about God in contrast to those who have generally been at a much greater distance from a true knowledge of what He is really like. This could very generically apply to Christians verses non-Christians but that is far to broad to really apply in my opinion. There are millions of Christians who know very little about God and have no intimate relationship with Him. They are simply born and raised or possibly convinced and indoctrinated into a set of arbitrary doctrines, external beliefs and an earthly organization that claims the title of Christian. Many of these people are not much different than the Gentiles in Paul's day except that they might have a little more knowledge of the existence of Jesus and know some cursory facts about Him.

It almost seems that possibly today the line of delineation that was so usable in Paul's day between Jews and Gentiles (or Greeks) is far from being so useful in the present condition of the amalgamation of beliefs and the gradients of knowledge about God that can be found in today's world. In those days it was clear that one race of people had been favored and nurtured by God for centuries to have all the advantages possible to know Him and reveal Him to the world much more clearly than any other people on earth. But a transition came at that point that moved from God working almost exclusively with a clearly defined group of people all belonging to the same race, to creating a New Testament family-style church in which there were no racial divisions and the only real distinction left between them and the rest of the world was the internal fire of God burning with love in their hearts.

But as that fire began to cool and be diluted over the years and the centuries, it began to harden into gradients of beliefs mingled with more and more dogma and superstition and false ideas. This has left us today with myriads of ideas and notions and belief systems beyond comprehension without the clear delineation between real believers and unbelievers that was more evident in the Old Testament and in the early days of the Christian church.

That is not to say that the nation of Israel were always true believers. But throughout all those centuries God favored them in spite of that until the first coming of Christ brought about a dramatic transition to the New Covenant period and the superceding of the Old Covenant rules, symbolic restrictions and the concentration of God's focus on one race of people.

But while the clear external lines of delineation are not so evident today, it is still just as true that those who have enjoyed more light of truth, especially truth experienced at the heart level, are closer to experiencing both the positive or the negative results of fuller revelations of God's passionate fire in His presence than are those who are far more unaware of the real truth about Him. Those who enjoy great light have much greater responsibility to stay in sync with that light or risk being burned by the very light that desires to save them. Talk about playing with fire... This fire is the ultimate Fire and will soon become either our source of unimaginable pleasure and satisfaction or will become the power that will expose all of our resistance creating unimaginable pain, anguish and finally eternal death. The choice is ours to make now in how we decide to relate to the light we receive in this life.

(next in series)

Judgment Day

For there is no partiality with God. (Romans 2:11 NAS95)

I am again looking very intently at the context surrounding this verse and seeing more clearly in the light of truth that is intensifying in this passage how much of our teachings and assumptions are in serious conflict with the reality of what God is like. The clear subject of the context here and all the way through chapter 3 is the Judgment Day of God Almighty. Also found in this context are amplifying descriptions of three parties involved in the judgment: the characteristics of those who are lost, descriptions of how the saved think and where their focus is, and most importantly the characteristics of God and, by implication, characteristics that He is not.

Our opinions and beliefs about the day of judgment and the related topics of heaven and hell lie at the very foundation of everything else that we think, do and perceive about reality and affect all of our relationships both with each other and with God. To think that it is not that important what we believe about this doctrine is to put our own souls in great danger of discovering too late that our mistaken beliefs about God, no matter how popular or supposedly supported by Scripture, have created a fatal liability in our souls that have resisted the light of truth that God so passionately is trying to reveal to us about Himself. What we believe about this subject betrays what we really believe about God and is at the center of what Jesus referred to when He repeatedly encouraged people to “believe in Me”. What we see in the life of Jesus and how He treated people is exactly the same as the character of God the Father without any variation whatsoever. (see John 14:9-11)

As I examined verse 3 and 4 it occurred to me that most of us would have written this very differently than Paul did due to our misconceptions of God. That is revealed by the many things we preach and teach about the day of judgment and the final results of sin. It is easy to see that if most of us had been trying to explain what motives should be in place in the hearts of those looking forward to the day of judgment we would, on the heels of verse 3 launch into a description of all the things we need to be afraid of in order to compel us to come into line with God's will and ways and be saved.

“Do you suppose ... that you will escape the judgment of God?” What kind of feelings are immediately stirred up in your mind initially upon the first hearing of these words? Those initial, reactionary feelings betray the real beliefs in your heart about God and what you think He is really like. And because of the nature and pervasiveness of sin throughout all of the human race, I would venture to say that possibly without exception, save in the hearts of those already being transformed by God's grace, every human heart recoils with fear and dread and feelings of expectation of pain and punishments associated with varying feelings of antagonism and resistance and anger. These are all rooted in THE LIE about God that was originally instigated in heaven by Lucifer and has been perpetrated throughout all of the universe and affects every aspect of our thinking and beliefs about life.

The most startling and revealing part about this passage is the seemingly incoherent emphasis by Paul directly after focusing on the fact that judgment is unavoidable. The basis that he declares will be the very thing we will all be judged on, and by implication the motives we should use in facing the judgment, is not the fearful expectation of retribution but the beauty and kindness and mercy of God. What we think will be revealed about God in the day of judgment determines the kind of repentance that we experience now. It also determines what assumed attributes about God we will use not only in our own experience but also what we employ in our efforts to bring others into preparation for the judgment. If we step back and take a very careful examination at the beliefs and assumptions underlying all of our preaching, teaching and conversation about Judgment Day we will start to see if our motivations are really in line with what will bring about true repentance or they are echoes of the lies of the enemy of God masquerading as religious truth and embedded in our theology. This is true whether of not a person claims to believe in God or is an avowed atheist; we all have theology that we believe about God that is colored by our experiences and perceptions about the supernatural and religion in general.

Paul reveals in this chapter that by clinging to false ideas about God's character we are placing ourselves among the stubborn and the unrepentant who are storing up wrath for themselves against the Day of Judgment. Why is it that we are the ones creating the wrath within ourselves and not God who is getting angrier at our unrepentance? The answer is in verse 11 – because there is no partiality with God.

We have mistakenly assumed that to mean that God cannot be bribed or unduly influenced in His determination of who will be saved and who will be lost. Again, that is based on our faulty assumptions about the nature of the Day of Judgment and many unchallenged beliefs behind it. Verse 5 gives us the correct understanding of what the Day of Judgment is really about, “the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.”

One of our biggest hurdles to overcome in arriving at a correct understanding of truth is the problem of words that have taken on incorrect or misleading meanings due to their long use in false assumptions about God. As I began to point out in a recent post, there are parallel meanings for identical words that lead to very different conclusions and create great confusion when intermingled even though they seem to sound the same. Judgment is one of those words heavy with false assumptions and dark with foreboding for most people. This is due in part to its association with very corrupt judicial systems here on earth that reflects much of the misapprehensions we have about God's judgment.

But the closer we get to the true meaning of the words that God uses by allowing the Bible to interpret itself the more beautiful and exciting and liberating truth becomes for us. And I believe there may not be another topic where this is more true than the undoing our misunderstandings about the day of judgment and its surrounding topics.

Judgment really means to reveal the way things really are including everything hidden such as thoughts, motives intents and feelings in the heart and mind that are impossible for anyone else to uncover. It means also a full revelation of the same counterparts that are in the mind and heart of God. When this becomes our understanding and our false, negative definitions of judgment are completely laid aside so as not to reinfect a proper understanding of this word, then it becomes possible to begin to see God in the proper light of truth and begin to appreciate the words Paul is using in verse 4.

Contrary to millenia of religious dogma and preaching, the only correct and truly effective motivation for repentance is an appreciation of the kindness of God, not fear of punishments, retribution or threats of an angry, offended deity. Those negative motivations come directly from the father of lies and the enemy of God who has done everything possible to destroy all knowledge of the real truth about God.

Sadly I have even listened to teachers and pastors of my own church who claim to believe the truth about God repeat similar lies about God that have so effectively turned away millions from responding to His love if they had only seen the truth about Him. These teachers claim that in the end, God's patience will finally run out and He will do His “strange work” and for a little while He will engage in anger and wrath to punish His “enemies” until they are finished being tortured and are finally annihilated. Then, apparently, He will return to His loving ways for the rest of eternity and the righteous saved will never want to repeat the experiment of sin due to the final display of God's “wrath” in the Day of Judgment.

When I hear this kind of teaching, especially coming from those who claim to know God and preach the truth about Him, I literally feel physically ill and sick to my stomach. This is a subtle mingling of error with truth that sounds so plausible in a way that many accept it as Bible truth, particularly because so many verses are lined up as proof texts to support their teachings. But this is NOT what is discovered in a careful and open-minded examination of the Word of God with a view to uncovering and maintaining the principle of consistency of the character of God. Instead, we are actually charging God with partiality. For to say that in the day of judgment God treats the saved differently than He treats the lost is, in fact, to insist that God is partial to the saved and contridicts in full face what Paul declares is the real truth about God.

God is not partial – period. And if any of our beliefs are found to be in contradiction to that truth then it is our beliefs that need reexamination, and we should not need to force the Word of God to fit our assumptions and preconceived beliefs. The system of truth is perfectly consistent as a whole and for us to come into line with it we must allow God's words to take priority over our beliefs and teachings no matter how many years people have believed them or how many texts can be construed to teach them or how many theologians subscribe to them. As Paul would say, “Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar. As it is written: 'That You may be justified in Your words, And may overcome when You are judged.'” (Romans 3:4 NKJV)

This text further reveals the true nature of the day of judgment. In our self-focused obsession in religion we often come with the assumption that the judgment is all about God determining the guilt or innocence of human beings and meting out rewards and punishments accordingly. But this is far from the real truth about judgment and is reflective of the myriads of lies embedded in so much of our assumed beliefs about God and about life.

The reality of the day of judgment is that it is really the revelation of the honest truth about what God is like and His attitude toward all of His created beings without partiality. The day of judgment is, in fact, the day when the largest jury ever assembled – the whole universe including all humanity and all the angels, both good and bad, determines whether or not God was fair, honest and consistent with what He has always said about Himself. At that time the final determination will be made as to whether God could actually do what He said He could do in transforming sinners into saints without coercion, fear, force or manipulation of any kind. All the charges brought against God by the arch-deceiver and re-presented by millions of deceived minds including our own will be tested and weighed by every intelligent mind in the cosmos as all the evidence in every detail and in every circumstance is laid out by all the witnesses called to testify for or against God. The day of judgment is all about coming to a final determination of the consistency and character of no less than God Himself who, amazingly, has submitted Himself to be put on trial by His own created beings. What incredible humility demonstrated by the Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe, and very different than the control-hungry God so popular in religion today.

The day of Judgment really means the day of revealing as Paul points out here. Jesus declared explicitly that He did not come into the world to condemn the world but to save it. He does not change His motives by the time He comes again the second time and He will not change them on the Day of Judgment. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) Condemnation does not proceed from the heart or mind of God but is something created in the heart of those who resist His drawing love and grace and reject the beauty of His character as being a lie. Condemnation is a natural consequence of clinging to the lies of sin in the heart and resisting the light of the truth about God until there is no longer a capacity to accept truth. Condemnation is the result of resistance to God, it accumulates in the soul and becomes the fuel for the fires of hell that all of the lost will experience. It is the way that wrath is stored up for ourselves internally for the Day of Judgment.

So is there a place in the judgment for the examination of the lives of humans? Yes there is, absolutely! But the grand trial, the mother of all trials, is not about putting us on the defense stand but, as far as our participation is concerned, is all about the examination of the witnesses to discover if they are truthful or they are found to be bearing false witness against God. Our lives, our words, our attitudes, our teachings, our prejudices and bigotry, our secret motives and cravings and deceptions – all will be flushed out into the open to be transparent and naked before every other person and being in the whole universe to be examined for its relationship to all the other evidence and especially to what truth we knew at the time in our conscience. All of the testimonies, which are the records of all of our responses in every situation to what we knew about God, are made public, and our integrity or lack of it in every area of our life becomes a public spectacle and common knowledge for all the universe to take into account in the deliberation of the great jury.

In this trial on the Great Day of Judgment, every jury member will also be called to testify as well. There are no exceptions in this trial; the testimony of every created being will be entered into the record and laid out in the open so that there is absolutely no possibility for any lingering doubts as to who God is and the integrity of His character and His Word. This is the day of “revelation of the righteous judgment of God”, the right way in which He has dealt with everyone of us that is forever consistent with His character of love and absence of force. (The day of judgment and its right understanding is also the main burden of chapter 3 in Romans which I have not begun to cover yet.)

This truth about the Day of Judgment dispels the negative fear that surrounds it in the typical presentations we hear. It unmasks the lies of Satan about the character of God represented as being angry, vengeful, arbitrary or even fickle. It allows the blazing light of glorious truth about God's consistent character of everlasting lovingkindness to accomplish its drawing work of bringing repentance to our hearts and filling us with transforming grace. It challenges us to reexamine all of our beliefs and doctrines and release our prejudices and pride in deference to the real truths about God revealed in a proper understanding of His Word and by His Spirit. It takes away our false fears and fills us with real love that is the basis of all true life.

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:16-19 NAS95)

(next in series)

Heart Transplant

Selfishness is like glue, like sticky cholesterol that builds up in our arteries and chokes off the supply of life-giving blood to our heart and brain. Selfishness throughout our lifetime accumulates weight in our heart, weights that are like multiplied children created by the illicit marriage of bad experiences and memories during our life interpreted through union with lies implanted by Satan. The resulting weights multiply and fill our hearts with heaviness until they become so stiff and full of self-defensiveness and sticky selfishness that they become as hard as stone. All of this imagery can be derived from the meanings of the original Hebrew word 'eben and its root word banah from which it is derived. This is the word translated as “stone” or “stony” in Eze. 36:26 describing the heart that God promises to remove from us and replace with a heart of flesh.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26 NIV)

When I looked up the Hebrew word translated “flesh”, I received an even greater surprise. This is the description of the new heart that God promises to give us in place of the stony heart that He removes. The word for flesh in the Hebrew is basar and contains nuances of meaning referring to flesh, human body, external female sexual organs and nakedness. The root Hebrew word from which this was derived means to be fresh, i.e. full, rosy, cheerful; to announce glad news:--messenger, preach, publish, shew forth, (bear, bring, carry, preach, good, tell good) tidings. I would have never guessed in a lifetime that all of this lay beneath the surface of the word translated “flesh” before I looked it up.

When I compare these two words and their underlying meanings that are descriptions of the heart God removes from us and the heart He implants in us, I can see the dramatic contrast between them. At the same time there is also a similarity. There is the idea of reproduction going on in both descriptions. The stony heart is one that had become so filled with heaviness, the children of lies and sin in our experience, that it is not salvageable and we have to have a heart transplant if we are to continue our existence for very long. The new heart of “flesh” also has implications of children by reference to the intimacy implied in the inferences to nakedness and female sexual organs. But this reproduction of children is rooted in the Gospel, the good news that is fresh and life-giving, cheerful and exciting. This is a direct contrast to the heaviness that characterizes the “stony” heart.

This analogy came to me this morning of a literal heart-transplant and the various dangers and phenomena that occurs in those physical situations. Generally a heart transplant is required when the old heart has become so damaged and dysfunctional that it threatens our very life and it becomes urgent that we get a healthier heart or we will soon die. The search is launched for an available heart that is in much better shape and that is compatible with our body chemistry. When it is found and the surgery is completed, from that point on our own bloodstream supplies the nourishment that determines the health of the new heart.

What if, in the physical analogy, the old heart was in terrible shape because of our bad habits and diet? Our blood was full of contaminants, high cholesterol and all sorts of counterproductive characteristics that led to the hardening and failure of our first heart. What if our lifestyle continues as it was before? What would likely happen to the new, healthy fresh heart under these continued conditions?

Even though we receive a new heart from God that is fresh, open, transparent, intimate and excited with the “good news”, it can also be in danger of slowly becoming more and more contaminated itself and become sluggish due to our failure to change the habits of diet and lifestyle that lead to our previous crisis. This is why it is possible to still be lost even after a genuine conversion and the receiving of a new heart. While the new heart is full of truth and life and vigor and joy when we first receive it, if we allow compromises with our old lifestyle to get a foothold in our life and old habits get reestablished, we can slowly turn even the miracle of a new heart into a sad story of failure that is even worse than our original condition.

While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage. For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: "A dog returns to his own vomit," and, "a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:19-22 NKJV)

There is also the interesting phenomena of “heart memory” that is just now starting to be explored and discovered, literal memories that can be recalled by the recipient after a heart transplant of events that took place in the life of the person from whom the heart came. There are even reports of abilities suddenly realized in the life of the recipient such as being able to swim that were not present before the heart transplant. All of this has much potential for exploration in this analogy to the new heart that God implants within us. But I will have to wait for more time to explore those further. Maybe you would like to share thoughts on this that you have learned. Feel free to leave a piece of your heart in the comments.

Modes of Law

Crime and (arbitrary) punishment modality – prescriptive law

vs.

Truth or (natural) consequences – descriptive law (or natural law)

Forgiveness has very different meanings and implications depending on which modality you are using. In fact, many words take on a different meaning depending on which model is being used.

Repentance has very different meanings.

Confession has very different meanings.

Discipline has very different meanings.

Salvation has very different meanings.

Heaven has very different meanings.

Gospel has very different meanings.

Power has very different meanings.

Truth has very different meanings.

Hell has very different meanings.

Sin has very different meanings.

Crime and Punishment This rule-based system is oriented around a hierarchy model of authority and control like a kingdom or artificial government. The goal is forced conformity to prescriptive laws with arbitrary punishments determined for each infraction. The primary motivation is fear of punishment or selfish desire for rewards.	Truth or Consequences This relationship-based system is bound together in family ties of community where everyone is of equal value but differing stages of maturity. The tools for growth are education of natural cause and effect relationships inherent in the universal created model and learning how to become more and more satisfied and connected with others. The primary motivation is increasing joy and enjoyment of living abundantly from our hearts in union with others.
Righteousness – means keeping the law to the letter with a focus on detailed regulations, fear of infractions and fear of enforcers. Motivation is to avoid fines and arbitrary punishments meted out with force by those in authority.	Righteousness – means living naturally from the heart according to the way the heart was originally designed to live, openly, passionately, expressively and with joy. Being in synchronization with all of creation filled with love, praise and gratitude.
Sin – means committing an infraction against the rules by disobeying orders – anything short of absolute perfect conformity to every law and requirement.	Sin – resistance to the natural design of creation; attempting to live without drawing life from the only Source of life but looking to anything else to depend on for life. Choosing to follow my own cravings in place of God's revealed desires for me.
Truth – cognitive facts that are provable from documents produced by recognized and approved authorities. No credence is given to emotions, feelings and little to social surroundings. Truth is emphatically objective.	Truth – all that is realized and useful through the various forms of communication received from God our Designer. Truth is always in agreement with itself but may at times not seem to be. There are degrees of importance given to the various methods of understanding truth so that everything can be synchronized beautifully by the Spirit of God.
Discipline – various shades of threats or punishment employed to produce fear of pain combined with various forms of rewards employed to induce people to conform to established rules of conformity.	Discipline – the relationship of being a disciple whereby a less mature person is mentored by association with more mature persons thereby learning how to respond in all sorts of situations in a life-giving way by observation of the actions and spirit demonstrated.
Power – the ability to wield force over others by whatever means are available to coerce them into agreement or conformity.	Power – the natural strength that occurs when many minds and hearts are in agreement and harmony with each other through bonds of love producing a life-giving environment in which to thrive.
Confession – forced admittance of guilt for lawbreaking with expectations of accompanying emotions of self-despisement, groveling for mercy etc.	Confession – agreeing with the assessment of our real condition (not identity) by the revelation to our minds and hearts through the inner promptings of the Holy Spirit Who shows us the truth about reality, both inside ourselves and outside.
Repentance – generally a self-forced decision to quit fighting the system and try harder to conform to the rules and guidelines imposed on us.	Repentance – the gift of a new perspective and new desires received and embraced in the heart as a result of our amazement at the kindness, patience and tolerance of God.
Forgiveness – foregoing and releasing us from the arbitrary punishments designated for us to suffer from breaking the law.	Forgiveness – taking upon one's self the responsibility for all of the inward pain and suffering caused by the offenses against them by another person without holding any desire for revenge or retaliation of any kind. This releases to the offending party the opportunity to be free themselves of the pain and feelings of guilt if and when they accept the forgiveness.
Salvation – the formula that God somehow put together whereby “the elect” or “saved” are allowed to go to heaven and live forever there. If one can figure out how to get into the formula correctly they can be saved.	Salvation – the interactive experience with God whereby the Spirit of God works from inside the heart outward in a person's life to restore them to their original design and potential, bonding them to others with love to create what is called the family of God or body of Christ.
Heaven – a physical place somewhere up in the sky where nothing will hurt us, we can do anything we want and will always be happy and free from troubles and annoyances, and temptations. A place where we will live wealthy in very extravagant mansions and do lots of fun things.	Heaven – primarily a condition of the spirit of a person that has a vital, ongoing, growing connection with the heart of God that creates peace and joy in the soul. Secondarily a place in the universe where God lives and longs for us to be with Him there to enjoy abundant life with Him and with all His other created beings.
Hell – a physical place where people who reject the Atonement of Jesus are forced to remain and be tortured by an angry God in flames of fire for not believing in Jesus or obeying and loving God.	Hell – the most excruciating emotional experience possible that will spill over into every other dimension of our being caused by the full exposure of unhealed hearts to the overwhelming love, kindness, beauty and passion of God for us without the ability to respond with love in return.
Gospel – has very different meanings for different people. Sometimes subtly thought of as a list of doctrines that must be accepted intellectually in order to be saved. Usually the story of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins but without much real comprehension of how that really relates to us personally. The formula whereby Jesus died to get us off the hook with God so we could get to heaven.	Gospel – the wonderful truth of all the above and that it really isn't all of the other column. The truth that God is crazy in love with all of us and wants more than anything to spend eternity as our closest friend, companion and lover in perfect joy and satisfaction together. That God is not angry with us but is passionate to restore us into closeness and intimacy with Him.

You can begin to see, based on the discrepancies between the two columns, that a discussion between two people who are on different sides of these paradigms face pretty much insurmountable obstacles to understanding each other due to the dramatic differences in the meanings behind the common words they are using. Even when they try to explain what they mean and go to great lengths to prove their definitions, because of the underlying assumptions that run throughout all the religious terms on each side they will still cling to their own definitions and become confused and frustrated as to why the other person can't see what to them is so very obvious.

A great amount of confusion is also experienced when a person is in transition from one paradigm to the other and is mixing terms from both sides in their thinking and reasoning. Nothing seems to really make sense, and rightly so because the two paradigms are incompatible. The great news is that even in our confusion and learning and growing God is always patient, kind and tolerant which is the very things that attract us to Him and lead us into the truth.

(next in series)

Law of Reflection

Everyone of you who passes judgment, ...in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself. (Rom. 2:1)

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." (Luke 6:37-38)

Because we all are like mirrors, this universal principle cannot be circumvented. I will receive in kind generally what I give in my spirit. The same truth applies not only negatively but positively as well. There is also the added element of the principle of multiplication, so that what I plant with my spirit will be increased by the time it returns to me. This principle of increase is because of the principle of growth. All animate beings grow, they do not remain static and inanimate. In fact, the very word is linked to the word animated which implies outflowing life.

The fact that we grow is made possible because our inner beings, both physical and otherwise, are multiplying in many various ways. Because of the introduction of sin we are also dying at the same time and our health is determined by which one is happening more than the other. But in God's way of life death is not a legitimate presence and will be banished eventually. But even now we are to enter into eternal life to as much extent as possible.

Because we are multiplying-type beings and that defines our very existence, the quality of our lives are largely determined by our continual choices as to what we will give out which in turn determines largely what will be reflected back to ourselves with interest. Even what we dwell on when we look within ourselves will begin to multiply so we have to be selective what we think about both in ourselves and in others. This is not the same as “righteousness by denial” where we try to pretend we have no faults or sins. It is eliminating the destructive presence of those sins by acknowledging them when convicted by God's Spirit and releasing the death-producing consequences of those sins to Jesus who already experienced every one of them on our behalf.

“Christ was treated as we deserve, that we might be treated as He deserves. He was condemned for our sins, in which He had no share, that we might be justified by His righteousness, in which we had no share. He suffered the death which was ours, that we might receive the life which was His. 'With His stripes we are healed.'” {DA 25}

When I dwell on my faults or the faults of others, I become transformed into those faults even though I think I am opposing them. That is why legalism is so powerless to bring true life to our souls, because it focuses on trying to eliminate sin instead of focusing on thriving and receiving abundant life. That is why judging and condemning produce the very things within us that we condemn in others, because by beholding we become changed. Even if it is my self that I am judging and condemning the effect will be the same. “By your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

I want to change the way I think radically. I want to look for the things in others that I want to see produced in my own life and affirm those things in their life, even if they are people who are against me and seem to hate me. That will require a huge infusion of grace, but God seems to have an unlimited supply of that for anyone interested in using it. “The law came in addition, to make wrongdoing worse; but where there was much sin, there was much more grace.” (Romans 5:20 BBE)

The law can only focus on violations – negative things that cause pain and death. When we approach life through the lenses of rule-based relationships we only accentuate the results of wrongdoing and make it even worse. That is why, if we want to experience the life that comes only through the atmosphere created by grace, we must choose to look both at ourselves and others always through the eyes of heaven which is the lenses of grace. As we look with grace we receive grace. "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."

(next in series)

Who Am I?

I have been challenged to copy down the real attributes of my heart and my true identity, the person I really am inside so that I can remember them and state them with assurance and confidence. I cannot ever remember doing this before so it seems a bit bewildering to me. But I also realize that with all the confusion going on right now that this advice is very appropriate and timely. I won't mind some input from those who really know me who would like to assist me in this. I am learning the importance of unmasking the heart that Jesus has given me and that is my true identity.

As I talked with my wife about this the question came up if this is not boasting or bragging about myself. As we discussed this we talked about our need to remember that for every counterfeit there is a solid, true original that it seeks to imitate but with a subtle, deceitful twist. Too often we spend so much energy and focus on avoiding counterfeits that we fail to embrace the true because it looks so much like the false. This morning as I continued to think and pray about this God brought to my mind some things from His Word to confirm that I should be doing this.

Thus says the LORD: “Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the LORD; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight,” says the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24 NRSV)

Jesus said explicitly, “Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 10:32-33 NRSV)

Then I was reminded of what happened to Peter when he forgot who he really was and expressed “confessions” of his old identity with his old language of swearing. He denied that he knew Jesus, which was a false statement about who he really was – a close friend of Jesus – and he mistakenly affirmed his old identity as a swaggering, course, caustic fishermen who cared for nobody. Some might say that he was showing his true colors in that moment, that all the mistakes he had made while with Jesus revealed his true identity and that nothing had really changed on the inside. But that is the false identity of the kingdom of darkness that tries to convince us of the lie. Jesus knew better than that – He was the embodiment of truth, and He knew Peter's “confession” was not reflective of his true heart and his love for Jesus. That is why Jesus made it a point to look at Peter after the third denial and lock eyes with him. It was not to impose feelings of guilt and condemnation on Peter like we sometimes assume, but to remind Peter that no matter how often Peter might forget who he was and slip into old patterns of thinking, Jesus knew Peter's true heart that was passionate for God and wanted to be like Him and could not really deny his love for Him. Jesus would not allow any amount of distracting pain and torture being done to Himself to prevent Him from assuring Peter of His faith in Peter's heart. Jesus made sure that Peter saw for a moment in His eyes the love and confidence, the tenderness and forgiveness that Jesus had for him. And that was enough to re-awaken Peter's heart to remember his true identity as one of Jesus' best friends and to weep with great remorse and repentance for denying his true identity as a friend of Jesus.

Many times I too need to be reminded of who I really am when I forget. I need to remember that I am not defined by my misdeeds or mistakes when I momentarily forget my true identity, but I am in truth defined by the characteristics of the heart that Jesus has planted within me and is nurturing, protecting and growing to more perfectly reflect the beauty of His own heart. God says in Jeremiah 9:24 that I should boast – brag even – that I understand and know Him, that He is a God who acts with steadfast lovingkindness – working mercy, justice – giving true decisions, and righteousness – doing what is right in the earth, for in these things He delights – and I delight too.

At this point one friend has committed themselves to emailing me every day to remind me of who I really am. I did not ask them to do that but I know that God's Spirit prompted them to do so. They have already sent their first message reminding me of what they see and encouraging me to affirm what God has designed me to be and is already there. That is deeply appreciated and warmly accepted – yes, one of the characteristics of my true heart. Another characteristic that I want to develop more is a willingness to do the same for others, not only on a regular basis but especially when they are in danger of forgetting their true blueprint.

I want to continue to add and develop and refine my Declaration of Identity to remind myself of what God looks like living inside of me. By affirming what God has designed me to be and has planted in my soul I am replanting healthy seeds of truth that will spring up and produce even more fruit. Jesus said, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:7-8 NIV)

Who am I?

A man, a father who never wants anything or anyone to hurt or threaten any of his children.

A husband who wants his wife to feel loved, safe and fulfilled.

A man who wants to express love and affection openly without inhibition or fear.

A person who desires to be filled with pure and holy passion, devotion and love for God and for his family and friends.

A man who keeps his natural desires and lower passions under control so that they will be expressed appropriately and effectively.

A man of honesty and integrity who values truth even when it hurts.

A man who wants to listen and learn from wise people who can help him grow and mature.

A man who desires deep, lasting bonds of love with other people that are revealed in acts of thoughtfulness, kindness and sympathy and that will stay firm in any crisis.

A man whose heart is morally upright and pure and is learning how to relate in healthy ways that will demonstrate his affections while respecting the proper rights and feelings of those he loves.

An industrious person who enjoys working, creating new ideas, building and improving physical structures and learning new skills.

A sensitive, caring man who lives from his heart and makes himself vulnerable and transparent to people with whom he desires to have bonds of trust and friendship.

A musician who expresses his soul and innermost feelings through various forms of music that cannot be expressed through words.

A writer who listens to the voice of God in his soul and mind and shares these thoughts with others.

A friend who is learning to better listen to the hearts of hurting people who need support and encouragement.

A man who is discovering the meaning of real joy and desires to be willing to be there for people when they need someone just to go through an experience or emotion alongside them.

A caring person who believes in the power of family love bonds where each person will trust each other and differences or conflicts will be addressed in a spirit of reconciliation with the goal of restoration of close ties of love and affection.

A man who firmly believes in the Atonement already in place created by God through Jesus Christ so that all of our sins are forgiven and wiped away, all of our guilt can be released completely and immediately, and all of our relationships can be healed with His love.

A Christian who has committed himself to the pursuit of knowing God's heart intimately, His feelings, His view of reality and living in His love for me.

A father who draws out of each of his children with tenderness and persistence the special gifts and characteristics that God placed in them at conception.

A man who seeks to discover the real reasons that lie behind the surface and uncover the hidden beauty in each person with whom he connects.

A person who is learning to be more congruent in his expressions, learning to be less afraid of what others think about him and more attuned to what God sees in him.

A man devoted to discovering the passion of God woven throughout all of the Word of God and waiting to be unleashed in the lives of those who join him in pursuit of mining the Word.

A man becoming one in whose spirit is no guile and no deceit found is in his mouth.

A man who is being led by the Spirit of God on his journey to eventual full realization of his present true identity as one of the sons of God. (Rom. 8:14)

A man who firmly believes in God's amazing ability and plans to work all things together for good to those who love God. (Rom. 8:28)

A man of grace who is eager to cover a multitude of sins by not engaging in gossip or spreading damaging rumors about other struggling souls.

A man who daily seeks the wisdom of God to know how to respond appropriately with a spirit of kindness reflective of God's Spirit.

A humble man who at the same time is not afraid to “brag”, or acknowledge his intimate relationship with God.

A man who seeks to learn from others, both from their strengths and from their failures.

A person who is willing to learn from his own failures while not becoming overwhelmed with discouragement and forgetting who he is.

A man of faith, not only in God's good intentions and ability but faith in those around him to respond to the grace and kindness of God's compassion and infinite love.

A patient person who seeks God's perspective when things don't seem to be going well.

A devoted husband who pursues the heart and affections of his lovely wife, cherishing her above all other women in his life and being ravished in her love.

A caring man who is not afraid to reveal sensitive emotions in public.

A saint, who is a sinner who trusts totally in the character and identity of Jesus Christ as the basis of his relationship with God and with others.

A believer who gives all of his pain, fears, guilt and problems to Jesus believing that one Person is enough to experience the pain and loss created by my sins and I do not need to re-experience that again.

A man who deeply desires bonds of true love and affection with other people who are seeking to be real and open themselves.

A person who is not ashamed of the identity that God has created him to be.

A man with a soft heart for children and elderly people and desires to serve and protect their hearts and bodies from harm.

A man who desires to be bold for God's reputation and be willing to speak in His defense even when it is unpopular.

A man who thinks outside the box, unwilling to accept “canned” answers or be content with platitudes and empty words.

A Christian who wants to passionately know the real truth about God and sweep away all the confusing lies amassed in religion to reveal the beauty and glory and magnetic attraction of the true God of love.

A man sensitive to pain and sympathetic to others who are suffering.

A man who wants to be used by God to be an authentic witness of the ability of God to transform him as an experiment of grace.

A person who values beauty everywhere it can be found in God's creation.

A man who trusts God when he can't see through the dark and can't feel His presence just then.

A person who longs for real community and closeness with others who are being led by the same Spirit of the Father, whether or not they profess to know God.

A perceptive friend who desires to stimulate the uniqueness and specialness in those with whom he has influence.

A man who is not ashamed of his body, but seeks to care for it, protect it and keep it healthy and strong so that it can be used as a house for God to live in.

A man who is not ashamed of his infirmities and limitations.

A person with weaknesses and liabilities that needs honest-hearted, caring friends to remind him, encourage him, give him perspective and support him in his everyday life.

A man with humility received from God and a willingness to be a friend, a confidant and a companion for everyone that God places on his heart.

A man who knows that the only true goodness in his life is only reflective of the merits of Jesus whom he is becoming like through God's transformational power.

A man of prayer who carries on instant messaging with God on a regular basis to stay in tune with what God is doing and thinking.

A disciple of Jesus who is being tutored and groomed as one of the sons of the Almighty.

A gentle man who believes that force is never a means for good and that the true power of love is superior at all times to its counterfeit of force though it often takes longer to see results.

As I update this I will place it on a separate page in my site easily accessible to keep it fresh.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:23-24 NAS95)

As is often the case, and as I suspected even before I opened the book, the message in My Utmost was carefully designed to fit perfectly what God was already talking to me about through various sources. That is why I waited to post the above until after I read today's reading. Sure enough, it was a powerful confirmation from God that I was thinking along the same lines as He wants me to. Here is what it says.

By what right do we become “a royal priesthood?” By the right of the Atonement. Are we prepared to leave ourselves resolutely alone and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer? The continual grubbing on the inside to see whether we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, morbid type of Christianity, not the robust, simple life of the child of God. Until we get into a right relationship to God, it is a case of hanging on by the skin of our teeth, and we say – What a wonderful victory I have got! There is nothing indicative of the miracle of Redemption in that, Launch out in reckless belief that the Redemption is complete, and then bother no more about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ said – pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints, pray for all men. Pray on the realization that you are only perfect in Christ Jesus, not on this plea – “O Lord, I have done my best, please hear me.”

How long is it going to take God to free us from the morbid habit of thinking about ourselves? We must get sick unto death of ourselves, until there is no longer any surprise at anything God can tell us about ourselves. There is only one place where we are right, and that is in Christ Jesus. When we are there, then we have to pour out for all we are worth in this ministry of the interior. (MUHH 6/21)

Tagged! You're It

I have been tagged as “it” in the world of blog. This seems to be a very interesting game being enjoyed by various bloggers who are expected, when tagged, to publish 8 random facts about themselves on their blog page and then tag 8 more people who in turn become “it”.

Of course one would never even know they have been tagged if they do not keep up with the other person's blog who tags them. And while I sort of keep up with maybe up to 8 other blogs I certainly am not know to that many of them as one who could tag them. I don't know of eight other bloggers who keep up with my blog to know that they were tagged. But then, I suppose that's not my problem anyway. If I list 8 bloggers as tagged even though they never read my blog I have fulfilled the “obligation of the law”, right? Interesting how I can nearly ruin even a game by analyzing it nearly to death.

Well, since I have been tagged by Colin on his site Darkening Glasses, I will not miss this opportunity to highly recommend everyone to put his site on their favorite bookmark list and visit it regularly. I never fail to be inspired by his words of wisdom and insight. He has been one of the surprising blessings in my life I never expected to find when I started out this experiment in blogging months ago. Right now he is running a series of thoughtful comments about the S.O.T.M. – the Sermon on the Mount by Jesus. Don't miss any of it and take time to go back and read some of his previous posts. You will be glad you did.

So, is that a long enough preamble to get you to forget what I am supposed to be doing here?

1. I wear shaded prescription glasses that makes many people suspicious of me because they can't see what my eyes are doing. Contrary to their suspicions, however, the reason I wear them is because my eyes are very sensitive to light and right now I can't afford to buy another pair of clear ones to wear indoors to appease my friends.

2. I wear steel-toed shoes for all the shoes I wear, both work and dress shoes. When I was a teenager and younger I tried to wear other shoes but always ran into the problem of losing them quickly due to holes emerging out the top of the toes long before the rest of the shoe was ready to quit. This is not due to failure to keep my nails trimmed but to the strange shape and design of my big toes that bores holes out the top even when they are trimmed regularly. I used to joke that if they managed to bore a hole through my steel-toed shoes I would put my toes in a museum. M-mmm, maybe after I'm dead and pickled that is.

3. I love participating in quartet music though I have seldom done so. I was part of a quartet around 10 or 15 years ago for a period of about 2 years which I enjoyed very much. I even requested and received handwritten copies of music arrangements from Haven of Rest Quartet which we used for many of their songs. But some of my favorites were from a book one of the members gave me of gospel music written barber-shop style which we thoroughly enjoyed singing together.

4. Along those lines, have you ever heard of the “5^th voice”? I learned about it years ago when I first visited a barber-shop practice session in Chattanooga, TN. During a break in practicing small clusters of men would stand around just striking a chord and intently listening for something. Finally another man explained to me that they were listening for the 5^th, a phenomena where 4 voices blended just right and with the right acoustics will literally create a 5^th voice from the harmonics of the original voices blending together. I never heard them that day but many years later in our own quartet we occasionally heard it. I will never forget one day when we were practicing in the lobby of our church and all the way through a particular song I heard the 5^th voice so loud and distinct that I kept looking around at each of the other 3 guys in amazement trying to figure out if one of them was the one singing that extra high, distinctly clear note. It was so beautiful it sent chills down my spine.

5. OK, like Colin I am getting bogged down trying to come up with more things. Maybe I need to give someone else a call to get me jump-started. I am the 6^th and last child in my family, one of which died 2 days after birth not long before I was born. Since I am not a spring chicken anymore that make the rest of them – well – whatever you want to call it.

6. Back to the music genre again, I spent 2 years about 5-6 years ago singing with a worship team in 2 different churches in Michigan where I lived at the time. One was a large university church and the other was the other fairly large church in town where I attempted to be a worship leader for about a year. I tried to introduce some new ideas in thoughtful programming changes and worship concepts but finally realized that the church simply was not ready for any changes. However, I learned a great deal about worship personally during that time and expanded my thinking a great deal which I will appreciate for years to come. I miss those special times and often wish I could participate again in something similar.

7. About 20 years ago I learned to play the Saxophone with a friend tutoring me who was an excellent player and absolutely loved to play with anyone no matter how bad they sounded. He certainly needed that attitude for a few months to keep coming back as I never learned to read music and sounded more like a bleating goat for awhile than an instrument of music. The first day he came to my house to teach me and play with me he burst out laughing when he saw me playing happily along with the mouthpiece on my instrument upside down.

8. Wow! I actually got to number 8. Well, since music seems to be the easiest thing to talk about (even though I have almost nothing at all to do with it now) I am a keyboard player who loves to play “by ear” and can hardly read music at all except when singing. All of my teacher's since I was 5 years old gave up trying to force me to read notes as I would simply memorize the music and then pretend I was looking at it while playing it for them. However, I wish I had had a teacher who would have picked up on my love for music and my ability to play by ear and tried to develop it much more instead of just staying with the normal teaching methods which did not fit me at all. Oh well, I still enjoy sitting down occasionally at a fine piano and expressing my soul and feelings and even more so if someone who really appreciates it is receiving it from my heart. I love to accompany singers who sing deeply from their heart because then we can feed off each other and really connect in a way that I seldom have the chance to do with others.

Well, there I did it. If you managed to wade through all that and are still reading you might find yourself on the hit list of friends privileged to be “it” and spill your guts share your specialness on your own web page for all the world to see. (I have learned a little bit reading other people's blogs.)

I hereby bequeath the honor of being tagged to the following eloquent writers and bloggers:

• Mountain Laurel at Dusty Angels – check out her book for some very personal and interesting reading.

• Maiden, Bringer of Peace

• Notes from Inside My Head not that I think she may ever see this, but she has a great blog.

• rachman-unprecedented

• meow – Surprise

• formerly a student.... Another blog I like to keep up with but may not notice they are now “it”.

• Seana Waters Welcome I may have to jog her to look at this, but she already has some very interesting info about herself on her web page.

• SUICIDE BICYCLE RIDE OK, so I reaching and I'm sure this guy will never see this tag. But he has an interesting page and I have run out of ideas.

For those who want to continue the game and are tagged here, you are supposed to post 8 fascinating, compelling, startling secrets things about yourself on your own blog and then tag 8 more people to pass it on. Got that? You're it!

By the way, if you are reading this and have an interesting blog that I don't know about, leave me a comment and let me check it out. Or if you are one of my friends that never blogs but just stares at mine once in awhile (I know some of you do), think about starting up your own blog and posting now and then. It's extremely easy to do and actually does connect you with others in surprising ways. If you want any help setting one up I and many others will be eager to assist you. Someone else set mine up completely to coax me into getting started. Let me hear from you.