Ghost Walker on the Water

I see a strong parallel between Peter's experience walking on the water in the storm with Jesus and the larger story of Peter's life overall. I believe that Jesus gave this experience to Peter to prepare him for the intense pressures he would experience during the final days of Jesus' life. But while Peter failed to apply the lesson he could have learned from getting soaked in the sea, Jesus never gave up rescuing Peter and finally Peter learned to really “walk on the water” for the rest of his life. The story is found in Matthew 14.

Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He sent the crowds away. After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.

By the end of this chapter things had apparently reversed in a way from what happened here right after the feeding of the 5,000. What we see just a little later is that because of the intensity of His words and the faith required to believe them the crowds were leaving on their own instead of being sent away and Jesus queried the disciples whether they wanted to leave also. The crowds were eager to “believe” in Him when the blessings were temporal and benefited them externally, but when it came to responding to heart conviction and being asked to trust in something that seemed strange to what they were accustomed to they choose to stay with the familiar. (Read the context to get a feel for what was going on here.)

But the boat was already a long distance from the land, battered by the waves; for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear.

This storm was an external analogy of the internal condition of their spirits. At the time of this event the disciples were very upset because Jesus would not allow the people to make Him king over Israel, and in their irritated state of mind Jesus sent them to the sea to receive some parallel turbulence to the stormy attitude they were cherishing on the inside. The key element in their heart that underlay all of their problems and that betrayed which supernatural spirit they were obeying was fear. This whole story, not only in its context but in its long-term application as a powerful analogy of how we relate to life, is a clear demonstration of the opposite effects of living under one spirit or another. We are either living in fear or in faith based on love. There are no other ways to live. Jesus was living in perfect love and submission to His Father's will for Him. In this event He was strongly resisting the temptation to accept an offered “shortcut to glory” offered to Him by the people and by Satan. The reason He became so forceful in His methods was because that was necessary in order for Him to defeat the intense temptation to His own soul.

But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!"

It is interesting to note that Jesus did not require a boat to cross the water but the disciples apparently did. That is because the spirit inside of them was so out of harmony with the spirit of heaven that Jesus cherished. Jesus pointed out the difference between their present condition and His desire for them very clearly in His invitation to step over into the courage of faith instead of dwelling in the shadowlands of death and fear. Peter was the only one to think outside the box far enough to let his imagination carry him away to Jesus. Jesus was eager to seize on any hint of faith and fan it into full flame as quickly as possible. In His response to Peter's question Peter could hear the echo of the first time Jesus had challenged him to step outside his comfort zone as a fisherman with his father and boldly leave the familiar for the thrilling terror of risking himself on God.

And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"

I see a strong parallel between this experience in Peter's life and the events surrounding Gethsemane and Jesus' trial. If Peter had learned this first lesson of faith that works by love more solidly he could have been spared the humiliation of his denial of Jesus and all its regrets. At Jesus' trial He again found himself in a life-threatening storm and needed to keep his eyes unblinkingly fixed on Jesus. When there is no storm we might be able to live in His presence without constantly staring at His face, but when the intensity is ratcheted up we have to learn that our only safety is an unswerving fixation on the face of God without caving in to any distractions no matter how threatening or dangerous they may seem to be. For all of those distractions are designed to do one thing primarily – cause us to be infected with the spirit of fear. And fear has torment which is never God's will for us. Fear will destroy our ability to walk on top of the water in a storm and will always result in dropping us into the depths of despair.

Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and says to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

But Peter was following Him at a distance as far as the courtyard of the high priest, and entered in, and sat down with the officers to see the outcome. (Matthew 26:58)

The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, "Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly. (Luke 22:61-62)

Peter had forgotten the lesson of the storm and so was compelled to repeat it. But again, the face of Jesus was there to convey to him the compassion and love that God ever has for all of His children whether they are trusting Him or not. Peter had again looked at the “wind” and thereby had become victim to the power of fear which dis-empowered him to live the bold life of faith that he had briefly enjoyed while walking in the storm on Galilee. But just like his rescue from his lapse of faith on the water, Jesus was there to save him when he was sinking in fear and shame after denying the closest Friend he had ever grown to love.

When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!" When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret.

While Jesus does not need a boat to handle traversing across water like humans do, He has chosen to get into the boat with us instead of insisting on us always walking on water. I believe He would prefer that we walk with Him on the water and I believe that that is His ultimate goal for us and will finally be realized in every respect. But in the meantime, God chose to get into the limiting, restrictive boat of humanness with us so we could learn to relate to Him and respond to His love and grow in faith until we were ready to live in full faith and confidence in His power within us. As a result of this faith He has in us while condescending to live at our level, we can respond by worshiping Him and realizing His awesome superiority beyond all of our meager capacity. We realize that we are totally dependent on Him for everything including life itself and we can enter into the relationship with Him that we were created to enjoy in joyful worship and awe. For terror is simply the counterfeit of the awe which we rightfully need to experience in the presence of a pure and holy God. Perfect love casts out all fear, but does not remove our awe of His power and greatness.

And when the men of that place recognized Him, they sent word into all that surrounding district and brought to Him all who were sick; and they implored Him that they might just touch the fringe of His cloak; and as many as touched it were cured. (Matthew 14:22-36)

When Peter and the other believers finally recognized the truth about Jesus after the resurrection, they were filled with the Holy Ghost (just like the Ghost on the lake) and became little “Christ's” (Christians). They began to work and walk like He did in many respects and people began to respond to them as they had to Jesus. More believers were added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women. They even carried out the sick into the streets, and laid them on cots and mattresses, so that as Peter came by, at the least his shadow might overshadow some of them. Multitudes also came together from the cities around Jerusalem, bringing sick people, and those who were tormented by unclean spirits: and they were all healed. (Acts 5:14-16 WEB)

Jesus - the Legalist Husband

“You also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ...” Rom. 7:4

I am still digging and praying myself into this phrase to try to uncover more of its true meaning and implications for me. I am looking at it in the context of still searching for the husband in this chapter who dies so that I can be intimately joined – married – to the resurrected Christ and live in that atmosphere of glory, joy and love.

What I think I might be seeing now is something very familiar to my own experience – legalism. Anyone I know who is suffering under the control of legalism in any of its forms are living a counterfeit Christianity and with a distorted picture of God. I could elaborate at great length on this but that might become too much of a distraction from the point I am looking at right now. I do want to note that legalism is always based on fear and according to 1 John 4:18 there is always torment in fear. Some of the most tormented people on earth are those suffering under the illusions and lies of legalism and I know that from personal experience.

A person living with a legalistic view of reality is very much in a sense “married” to their legalism, their fear-based feelings of obligation to keep any number of rules and laws and they can usually be recognized by their lack of real joy. They often try to look like they have joy but it is a left-brained, forced kind of joy that does not have the ring of freedom and abandon that real joy carries. They usually live a life very much like an obligation-based kind of marriage that is primarily founded on a sense of “duty” and grudgingly staying within the lines of rules. The heart is usually dying inside but the person is so disconnected from their own heart that they often do not even recognize it themselves until the pain sometimes bursts out in a surprising, shocking explosion when it cannot be supressed any longer.

The wonderful good news is that Jesus loves the ones stuck in this kind of thinking and living just as much as He loves any other kinds of sinners. And the way that He saved them is the same way He saved everyone else – by taking upon Himself the very feelings and internal consequences that the legalist experiences within his heart and soul. When Jesus went through the three days and nights of unspeakable torture that culminated on His death on the cross, that included the torture produced by legalism in the heart of every person who has ever lived or who ever will live. He did not feel something like it or similar to it, He experienced the very feelings, fears, pains and dreads that we carry around for our whole life due to our mistaken view of God. Those sins were taken upon Himself fully and put to death on the cross so that we do not have to suffer under them any longer but can have the incredible privilege of entering into a relationship with God of which the most perfect marriage and the most intensely satisfying sex can only hint at. What He did to set us free from legalism was to place Himself into the position of being the “bad husband” that the legalist is married to and then by His death satisfy the marriage requirements of the law that bound us to our fears and lies about God so that we could be free to be intimately joined to the resurrected, living, exciting, all-powerful Christ in a life free of fear and torment.

I have recently been talking with individuals who have been extremely damaged beyond my comprehension by the abuse of legalism for all of their lives. It has ruined their lives in almost every way imaginable and I cringe to even think about what I can see. I am so glad that there is a Savior that is far more powerful to love and redeem than the sin that is still tormenting the lives of these friends. (Rom. 5:20) Because of the lies that legalists have forced on them and still reinforce at times, these individuals usually cannot even think about God without some level of revulsion. They have been inoculated against the very One who can and who desires to free them from the lies about Himself that are destroying their life. I'm glad that its His job to reach their hearts through all the tangled web of resistance that has been woven by Satan around their souls, for I have no idea how to effectively counter the millions of lies and fears that swirl around in their lives. But I know a Savior who can disguise Himself enough to slip into their souls through secret passageways and began healing any amount of damage that Satan has caused if He is given permission.

Very often that permission must come in the form of intercessory prayer on the part of others for them. I want to be a part of that process and watch God melt away the fear and pain and make them glorious experiments of His grace and power to save. Yes, Jesus loves legalists too, (and their victims) just as much as the more colorful kind of sinners that get much more publicity. That's good, because that's the kind of stock from which I was formed.

God, in the name and authority of Jesus who took on all the damage and pain of the legalists and their victims, I give you permission to do anything possible not only in the life of the people I am thinking about right now but in mine as well. Tap every resource of the universe to intervene and repair and restore us to the original purpose and design that you intended for us. Glorify Your name in our lives and cause our hearts to burn with passion for You as we are ravished with Your unconditional love this weekend.

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Musings on the Spirit

As I was petitioning God for the Holy Spirit this morning a thought occurred to me. In all the incidences in the Bible of people receiving the baptism of the Holy Ghost, I can't think of any time when a person received it separately as a lone individual. That seems to indicate how critical, how fundamental God views “community” in my spiritual life. That is not to say that the Holy Spirit will not work on individuals or prompt them to do things. But the “gift of the Holy Spirit” seems to always be poured out on groups of people.

As I thought about this more I remembered the text that was twice given to me as a prophecy for my life. It was the prophecy spoken over Saul before he became the first King of Israel and was really God's invitation to him to enter into a long-term, dynamic, power-filled life of service (which, sadly he very soon turned away from). I wondered if this was an instance of a lone individual receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit. So I looked up the quotation and reviewed it to see what it said. What I found was again a confirmation that God wants us to be used by the Holy Spirit to act in concert with His community of believers and not independently. “And the spirit of the Lord will come on you with power, and you will be acting like a prophet with them, and will be changed into another man. And when these signs come to you, see that you take the chance which is offered you; for God is with you. (1 Samuel 10:6-7 BBE)

Apparently God is not satisfied for our experience to be one where He is just with us individually, as important as that is. Yes, He is faithful to be with us always as He promised even when everyone else forsakes us, but He wants that faithfulness to reproduce within us the fruit of us being faithful to be with His other children as well. One of the main issues in our salvation is the bonding and synchronization that is so vital to being a part of the body of Christ. Paul understood this well and talked about it in the analogy of the parts of the body all working together smoothly and sympathetically. This is what produces the unity that Jesus prayed for in John 17.

Now it is one thing for me to analyze and postulate on this idea and a whole different thing to actually engage my heart fully in this process. I am by nature a loner. I am one of those people who want to enjoy great intimacy with God but I have an extremely difficult time doing it with anyone else. I have been burned emotionally so many times when I have tried to do so that my mind recoils with self-protective defensiveness and fear anytime I think about this even though I deeply yearn for it.

The idea of submission to others (Eph. 5:21) is another aspect of this that elicits strong reactions within me resonating from the rebellion still latent within me from my youth. Any attempts by others to lecture me about this issue only tends to reinforce it. It is a heart issue and this healing can only be dealt with at the heart level by those who are willing to relate at that level. But it is an issue that I have to face and deal with much more fully, I am aware.

I suppose that maybe I am laying out a number of reasons why I am not yet ready to receive the outpouring of the Holy Spirit myself. Not only do I still have triggers that are not yet disarmed involving submission and authority, I cannot even see around me a group of believers to which I could attach to as a part of the body of Christ. I know this may sound bizarre to some people, but it is true. The only small groups of people that I know of in my vicinity that claim to be the chosen people of God are so out of touch with heart issues and stuck on externalism that we only talk past each other when we try to communicate. I realize that this might be a judgment on my part, but I don't know any other way of perceiving it right now. At this point my only source of spiritual social connection with others who are trying to be “real” is when I can make it to a men's group that meets 250 miles from my home.

I know I could go on with this, and maybe I'm quickly getting sidetracked here – or maybe not. Anyway, my original point that I wanted to ponder was the idea that if I want to receive the outpouring of the Holy Spirit as Jesus promised and wants me to have, somehow I have to figure out what He wants me to do in my relationship with His body – wherever and whoever that is. I can see that this is a problem far to big for me to figure out so I will put it back into His hands to deal with. I know He is faithful and worthy of my trust and His heart is toward me and His plans for me are always good, even though at times they are very painful. I want to come into a relationship of obedience and present myself every day to Him to be His slave in total obedience to His desires. What's so good about this is that He treats His slaves like sons, in fact He makes them His sons and daughters and gives them the full inheritance of everything He possesses. I want to be in that kind of slavery.

God, I am trying to be real again today and it feels really risky again. I don't know if I should even say these things sometimes and I'm always afraid they will be twisted or used against me. I guess I still have a lot of fear in my heart in spite of all these years of slowly replacing it with Your love. You still have a lot of work to do in me and I'm glad its Your job to finish what You started in me. I present myself to You this morning as You talk about in Romans 6:16. Take me today as Your slave and fill me with Your Spirit of obedience. I need to feel Your love and see Your face more openly. I need more bonding with the rest of Your body here on earth. I don't know how to do that, or maybe I'm just too afraid – I don't know. But I put my life and my reputation into Your hands today and rest in Your protective love for me. Prepare me more fully to receive the gift of Your Holy Spirit in its fullness and fulfill Your word in my life. Make me an instrument of Your peace.

Do You Not Know?

“Do you not know, brethren...” Rom. 7:1

I am looking at this wondering what the reason is that Paul used this phrase. I believe there is something important behind it if I take the time to look for it and listen to the Spirit.

Since I can see that he is beginning this part of the letter targeted more specifically to Jewish Christians who have a cultural and theological background very much like his own, I think he may be setting them up to see a much clearer view of the gospel that he is trying to convey to them. Evidently one of the reasons for this letter in the first place is to correct misunderstandings about God and about salvation that were brought into the church from their past thinking and reasoning. We are in just the same situation today and need to understand these truths more clearly just like they did.

I try to put myself in the mind of a Jew in that day who has converted to Christianity. While parts of that attempt may not work so well due to my lack of intimate knowledge of the their culture, it also may be easier for me than for many others since I was also brought up in a legalistic religious environment very much like those Jews. So it is easier for me to put on those clothes and look out of their eyes at life than it would be for someone who identifies more with the first group Paul is addressing from Romans 1.

So in that position my natural response would be to say, “Well of course, Paul, you are reinforcing what we have been insisting on all along. As long as we are alive we must keep the Law. We have been uncomfortable with all your talk about grace and your lax attitude toward the Law that we see in your preaching, especially with the Gentiles who need a lot more discipline in their lives. Yes, the Law absolutely has jurisdiction over us for as long as we live. So what are you trying to say here?”

From this point Paul leads the legally acute mind into the subject of marriage and adultery which had long been a hot topic of debate in Jewish religious circles. They might wonder what answer Paul is about to offer to a debate that had not been conclusively resolved for hundreds of years by the brightest minds in Judaism. But Paul does have a new take on this subject like anything they might expect, but what he is targeting is what it really means to live as a genuine Christian in relationship to the inner sinful nature constantly taking control of our imagination and hijacking our behavior. It was this very problem of our sinful nature and its overwhelming desires that had fueled these debates on marriage and divorce for all those years and the solution that Paul puts forward is so radical that at first it is shocking.

What he says is that the Law should be followed to the letter – absolutely! And the way it should be followed is to invoke the provision of Law that declares complete freedom for the surviving spouse when one of the married partners dies. The implication suddenly becomes frighteningly clear – the only way to enter into real freedom requires that someone must die; there simply is no other option if you want to come into real freedom of heart.

But far more than offering what would appear to be a bizarre solution for a bad marriage under the Law, Paul is saying that all of us find our souls hopelessly stuck in a bad marriage to our sinful nature. We are in a forced marriage to a deadbeat spouse arranged for us by the fact that we were born as sons of the sinner Adam who got us all into this bad marriage arrangement. And once in the marriage there is no legally acceptable out for us except for someone in the marriage to die. But how can that take place in reality?

The whole chapter 7 of Romans is dealing with this very issue and the intense turmoil involved in it. But understanding this context explains the reason Paul used the phrase at the very outset, “Do you not know, brethren (for I am speaking to those who know the law)....”

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Why Am I Writing?

I have been becoming more aware lately of a growing reason why I continue to write down what I am discovering and learning. I have probably said this before but it has come up in discussions with people close to me lately and I have been thinking about it more.

It could be assumed by many that I post these thoughts in order to convince others of what I believe. However, that is not the case, that is not my motive. When that thought comes to me I tell God that if He wants the Holy Spirit to lead someone to this site to teach them something Himself that I will be very glad to be used in that way, though most likely I will not know anything about it anyway. I certainly enjoy learning more about truth and warming my heart in the presence of God in association with others, but so far this forum has not contributed much to that end. So that is not a reason why I write what I have been learning.

The main reason that I have become so “addicted” to immersing myself in intense scrutiny of the Word of God and writing down my thoughts during the process is the powerful influence that it is having on my own heart as I do it. I very seldom have any idea what is going to emerge when I begin to write except for the few thoughts at the beginning that I want to capture before I forget them. I have found repeatedly and have come to appreciate that what I am discovering is that the process of writing itself has become a very effective form of communion with God for me personally. It usually happens that as I feel compelled to write down what first comes to my mind as an inspiration to me and I follow that compulsion that I immediately receive follow-up thoughts and connections to other texts or truths as I am writing that would not likely have come if I were not engaged in the writing activity.

So I have come to see that, for me writing is becoming a channel of listening just as much as reading. Maybe it is “active listening”. I suppose that is why many people get much more out of sermons if they take notes while listening to it. Engaging the body in participating in what the mind is doing is a means of synchronizing and sinking the things being learned deeper into the soul. Unfortunately, many of the best talks that I want to take notes on are listened to while I am driving so I can't take notes and I often feel quite frustrated about it. I feel that if I could get the main points down in writing and be able to look at them and organize them into outline form I could remember them more securely and have them more available for future retrieval from my memory.

The main point I guess I am trying to address here is maybe to counteract a voice inside me trying to accuse me of coming across as being arrogant by writing when that is not what my motives are at all. I try to deliberately avoid allowing what others think of my writing to influence it as much as possible because I want to maintain it almost exclusively for personal interaction with God as I settle in to listen to Him each day. I have come to look forward eagerly to these times together with His Spirit and many times find it hard to pull myself away to go on to do other things. But He usually gives me a sense of closure at some point and I ask for His sense of peace and timing as to know what He wants for my day.

These times are what I like to think of as “marinating” in the presence of Love and soaking up something new and fresh each day from the limitless resource of His Word. They have become the most important and enjoyable part of my day. I feel listened to and connected and challenged, rebuked, instructed and assured as I ask questions, make stimulating discoveries and have my emotions awakened to new feelings of awe, delight, conviction and deepening love. During these times I begin to feel a peace that seems to quietly collect as silently as the dew as I linger a little longer in His presence to taste His sweetness.

As I write I sometimes stop and ask Him what direction my thoughts need to go before writing more because I do not want to write just to be sounding off. I want to keep my writing in its useful place as simply a means of listening and interaction with the mind and heart of God. Sometimes I have to just lay it aside and let my heart process what it is experiencing alone for a few minutes, or sometimes even for a few days before I come back to the writing again. But always it has been serving a useful function as an instrument of growth in my own heart and is bonding me to my God and Savior.

Why did I feel like writing about writing this morning? I am not sure, except that I have been thinking about it more lately as I previously mentioned. I also would like to encourage anyone who might be reading this to consider something similar if they feel moved to try it. I know how resistant I used to be when people urged others to journal during their devotion time. They expressed many of the same thoughts and benefits that I have just described which certainly sounded attractive to me. But it seemed to be a discipline that was too much work or carried with it a negative “obligation” burden that I just wasn't ready to take on right then. I suppose that came from being raised in a religion that was nearly 100% obligations and little to no joy. With that mindset, taking on another obligation would feel like the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

So how do I finish this now? Well, I would like to strongly urge everyone to read today's reading from My Utmost for His Highest. I have a link to a web site that offers access to its readings in my Recommended Reading link at the top of my blog if you do not own this book. Today's reading really spoke to my heart about receiving peace and some of the issues surrounding that in our relationship with God. I believe you will be blessed by it.

I have some friends with me this weekend and we plan to take out our boat today and enjoy some skiing and fun on the water for the first time this summer. I look forward even more to the time and bonding that takes place together with them more than the activities themselves, though I certainly intend to enjoy that as well. The only reason I have ever had for owning a boat is for this very reason. I want it to simply be an instrument for making deeper connections with hearts of people willing to join us in doing fun things together. If you would like to be one of those people I would love to know about it. I certainly could use more close connections with other people in my life and I enjoy making good memories. Have a blessed day.